IMDb Headlines
"Dick Goes Berserk at Shatner Roast

American comedian Andy Dick reportedly went berserk backstage at the Comedy Central Roast Of William Shatner on Sunday, licking screen siren Farrah Fawcett and biting a journalist. New York Post reporter Mandy Stadtmiller claims she watched Dick lick Fawcett, Carrie Fisher and comedian Patton Oswalt before turning his attentions to her. He allegedly groped her, tried to kiss her, proclaimed his love for her and then bit her hand, telling her, "Baby please, put in something nice. They're so mean. I'm not weird. Maybe I'm a little weird, they make me out to be a monster, I'm not a monster. I just want to have fun, baby please." She also accuses him of urinating in front of her and offering her cocaine. The show will air on Sunday August 20."

He couldn't find anybody better than Fawcett, Fisher, and Patton Oswald to lick?

"Phillippe Lands Two-Face Role?

Ryan Phillippe may be set to take over from Tommy Lee Jones after reportedly landing the role of Harvey Dent/Two-Face in the upcoming Batman Begins sequel. Reese Witherspoon's husband will join Heath Ledger, who has signed on to play The Joker, and new Batman Christian Bale in The Dark Knight. Crash star Phillippe beat Liev Shreiber and Josh Lucas to the role of the scheming district attorney, played by Jones in 1995 movie Batman Forever, according to internet reports. Academy Award winners Sir Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman have also joined the cast, while fellow Oscar winner Philip Seymour Hoffman is in talks to play The Penguin in the new film."

OK, I'm not a Batman expert, but based off that casting news, Nolan is basically exhausting the entire villian arsenal in one sequel/prequel/whatever the hell they are calling this one. Who does that leave, Mr. Freeze? God help us.

"Woods Dumps 20-Year-Old Girlfriend

Veteran actor James Woods has dumped his 20-year-old girlfriend, Ashley Madison, after the stress from the May-December relationship sent him to the emergency room. The 59-year-old star was distraught after his brother Michael died unexpectedly of a heart attack last month and was shocked by Madison's insensitivity during his funeral. Woods' friend Scott Sandler tells the New York Daily News that Madison showed up for the service dressed inappropriately "in a 3-inch miniskirt and chain-smoking." He explains, "At the funeral she was concerned about the amount of magazines she was in. Jimmy was on his knees with tears staining his shirt, and she was showing pictures of herself. Jimmy was so overcome by grief his blood pressure went through the roof early last week, and he had to go to the hospital. When he came out, it was like he had seen the light." The actor has known Madison, the pal of a golfing buddy, since she was five-years-old. Adds Sandler, "She's the anti-Christ. She truly has the soul of a moth and the brain of a dead trout."

Best insult since "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

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