V-day
Well it appears that my friend rachel is my valentine. I met her at camp. She's awesome. She's funny and crazy. We have sooooo much in common its not even funny. We have been trying to get together for a year and a half. We still havent. But hopefully soon. Well i dont have anything else goin on now so bye all
~BOYER

Who'd of thunk that this quickly things would improve for me
Well there are a few things that need to be updated. For one thing i went to the military ball with julie, a friend of mine (obviously). She's in ROTC so she asked me if i wanted to go. I said hell yeah. man was that fun. I think that was the most fun ive had in a loooong time. Even more than the dance last year. im sure the company helped but it wasnt just that. It was everything. The setting, the people, they way i was dressed. O yes ladies. i looked rather pimp in my outfit. yeah. i had a black suit, black shirt, and a silk pink tie. i felt damn fine. and julie looked good. she is fun. but im not attracted to her. i mean she's not ugly. far from it. its just....idk. i dont feel anything towards her. so o well there.

Also becs is now going out with some black kid from the track team. it's not his race that annoys me. to be honest i dont care who becs dates. but its the fact that she lied about why we broke up. she broke up with him to go out with me. O well though. i dont care that much at this point. But consequently i called her up the day after the ball and told her im not taking her. they're my tickets and i want to go with someone ill have fun with. and it would be way too akward to still go with her. shes angry. she said you know i can't go now right? i said of course i know. but i dont care.
So basically shes angry at me. and some of our friends are too. but like i said before. i dont care.

well now apparently there are a few ladies that like me. this is new for me to be honest. i know your all shocked now. but its true. i havent had many girls like me before. at least that had come to me first. but idk what i wanna do yet. im jsut letting things happen. but now my mom wants the comp. peace niggah
~BOYER

1300
well now..what do we have here? a 1300. thats right folks. this stupid new jersey boy managed to get a 1300 on his psat's im happy but i think i can do better. bye
~BOYER

if you ever said you miss me then dont say you never lied
well who didnt see a break up comin up? i did though i was hoping i was wrong. and to be honest i didnt think it would happen this fast. well the same thing happened as before. only the difference was, this time she didnt forget about me, she just didnt care. she would always tell me how great her friens were, how she had the greatest times with them. She actually came home from model UN and told me it was nice to get away with the people that really matter. Thanks becs. well we're still going to go to the dance. only becuase i dont feel like doing papaerwork. which i know i will.

Denver sucked. i got yelled at countless times for quoting Family Guy. I'm sry that show is god there is no messing with it. the only reason it was a problem was becuase my gmom was there. other than that it wasnt a big deal. but they have heated sidewalks. crazy shit i know. well thats it. ttyl
~BOYER

"cause i dont know which way to go"
"Scars"

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
You fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]


Good song...well things are new. Im going out with becs again. This was kind of a complicated situation that I only feel like explaing to my friends. So if you wanna know, IM me. My chrismtas was not the best. I didnt get much that i wanted. but what really ticked me off is that i lost my sister's gift. I was really upset about that. but then i found it and when she out on her necklace...it was too long. Which sucks. O well i guess ill deal with it later. ttyl.

i would like to pose a question to those of you out there that are black. Are you offended by a white person saying niggah. Not nigger (becuase that is not a word i say). But if i just say niggah (keep in mind the fact that i am not racist and i like black people), with no anger behind it, is that really a problem?
~BOYER

Junior #2
It happened again. Another one of us is goneone less student. One less friend. One less person in the halls. And one less person to smile for.
her name was Sam. She was a junior just like me. just like Ian. Sam and my friend, kellie, were walking at about 8. They were crossing the streer when a 19 year old kid came speeding around the corner. He tried to move out of the way but he still hit them. Kellie barely got hit but Sam was hit hard. She later went into a coma and had blood clots in her head. She would eventually suffer from major brain damage. This past friday her mother decided to take her daughter off life support. She was brething for a while on her own. But eventually on Saturday morning she died. So like i said, Junior # 2.
~BOYER

If you die right now you know that I'd die too
good song. I don't listen to it as much now. I think I'll be instituting a strong regiment of SOTY listening. Man have things NOT BEEN HAPPENING. I'm trying to go to the camp reunion. that aint gonna happen. Probably since i didnt go this year. but i'm still gonna try. I'll call or something. Now that i have a job and a steady income, i can afford it and pay for it myself. So thats one less thing my parents need to worry about. I went to get my driving permit validated. They wont let me. i have really bad vision in my left eye. So I gotta get a doctor to say that i can get my permit with glasses. GREAT. So now i'm just gonna get a surgery in february so i never have to worry about it again. I wear contacts and ish. But now i'll get surgery to straighten out my eye more so that i have better peripheral vision and hopefully better regular vision. Right now i have perfect heat and X-Ray vision. So i dont need to worry about that. the doc promises that won't be affected. We'll see (no pun intended). Alyson is home today. Well she's been home for a few days. SHe got tickets to a sonic session with Taking Back Suday. For those that don't know......A sonic session is basically a private, acoustic concert for less than 75 people, all set up by Y-100 (our local rock station) So this is pretty badass. Even though im not a big TBS fan. O well. PEACE
~BOYER

I Miss Bob
I'm sitting here crying right now. Full on balling my eyes out. I dont know what brought this on. but i miss Bob so much. he was the coolest little bunny ever. He made me so happy. Especially when i was depressed and upset. Bob just made me smile and laugh. And you know what the worst part is? I killed him. ME. Despite how much i loved him i was the one that eventually killed him. he was overweight and i didnt push him hard enough to run or exercise. I didnt take good enough care of him. And i know he suffered. its all so upsetting. I cant take it anymore. I need him back now. i need to know that Bob isnt mad at me. i knew he's just a bunny but to me he wasnt just a bunny. he was a source of joy. he was MY bunny. I know that friends die and stuff. Especially now with Ian being dead. But the thing is, i didnt know Ian. and Bob was there no matter what. Probably because he was in a cage. but he never flipped ou and got mad for a dumb reason. he didnt have those stupid human qualities like jelousy and hatred. He never got angry at me for saying something stupid. He was just Bob. Always happy to see me. And i killed him. God i need help.
~BOYER

Wow
A kid died in a car crash this friday. He was in my sociology class. His name was Ian. I didnt know him well, so im not going to act like i did. But you get used to seeing someone everyday in class after about 2 months. he was an amazing kid. even from the little time i knew him i found that out. he had this way of making everybody laugh, and he wasn't judgemental at all. he was the perfect friend. He came into class everyday with a smile on his face. always happy and laughing. not that annoying perky shit but he was genuinely happy. He was different. he had long braids in his hair and he didnt excatly fit with the "in crowd". but thats what made him Ian. He never cared about that kind of stuff. I think my sociology teacher said it best, "he didnt be different simply to be different. He was different because thats who Ian was." it's hard to watch people i know crying and not being able to help them. to find some way to ease their pain. ive offered to all my friends that if they need me for anything im there. And they know that. but its all i can do. It really gets you thinking about your own mortality. How many things have i left undone? How many things have i wasted or given up or thrown away? Its scary to see someone and then find out that 4 hours later they died. Your life is fragile but so important. never waste it. dont do drugs. dont drink. Be like Ian. and live your life, happy everyday.
~BOYER

im too damn lazy
I have learned a valuable life lesson today. Who gives a fuck? I dont. See if you dont care about anything, you dont have to lose anything. If you dont bother, then you dont have to stress. Its a really easy system to follow. Though if you have been living a life of caring, then you will have a lot of trouble switching to this life of laziness and simplicity. So if my dad dies, o well. If i get bad grades, shit happens. but dont get me wrong. Im going to try. Im not being stupid. But if i dont do as good as i would have liked im not going to freak. I dont need to have a gf. If one comes along then great, but i aint looking for one. If my friends treat me like shit, well fuck them ill just find a good book to read or something. But i aint going through all this crap to get em back or something. takes too much effort. id rather just sit here and laugh at them for being such dumbasses. My life may go downhill, but at least i aint affecting anyone else by it. less attachments = less responsibility and less worrying. so if becs wants to beat me at getting a "special someone" more power to her. if she wants to be bitchy about this whole thing then i dont need her. Cut all the bad but keep the good on standby.
~BOYER