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evilgirl28666
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2005 13 March :: 6.27pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: edwin mccain ill be
eh
i dunno
things r so confusing right now
i dont fucking get anything
bahhhh
im so tired
all i wanna do is get completely stoned
or be with rob
or kill myself
or leave the state
something or anythinggggggggggggggggg..........bahhhhhhhhhhhhh
someone find me and tell me its all gonna work out
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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evilgirl28666
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2005 5 March :: 9.19pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: dido-here with me
bah
so.....long time no update i guess...
been going out wtih rob since feb. 28th
its alright
hes so confusing and i like him so much
lol...im such a dork
ive never kissed anyone before...my one expirence was kyle from NH n he was like the drool master and it was gross...even if it was just a 3second mouth pressing ness thing
and i didnt even expect it
but yeah
i was at robs house...hmm...tuesday? n i have never liked or been more comfortable with neone then him and we were just sitting there, he was sorta laying on me and it was amazing. i noticed he kept trying to kiss me and it kinda scared me. so when we were just sitting n stuff i said to him id kiss u but im too scared then he tried to get me to kiss him n stuff and it wasnt that great n i wouldnt and i was having a panic attack and all that great ish
yeah
n weve had great conversations and all this stuff and im so scared of trusting him and letting myself like him and its so gay and hard and i almost hate him becuase i like him so much
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
and i just wanted to be wtih him today
no one else
n it didnt happen......bahhhhhh
and he told me he wished i showed up at the concert and i was all gRRR and stuff
but yeah
im really sucking in school
im supposed ot have done stuff for my huge research paper for history and i havent done nething....i dont even wanna do it
have a project for biology and i completely forgot about it
so i have to do it before thursday cuz i suck
yeah
bahhhhhhh i just want you for my own
more then you could ever know
baby all i want...is you
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 19 February :: 10.20am
:: Mood: tired/very happy
:: Music: incubus-talk show on mute
wonderful...
alright.....so yeah i told kim i didnt feel good.....i didnt
i felt like shit, but when i saw the seven digits 927-7022 appear on my phone i felt instantly filled with joy.
i didnt mean to like....ditch her which is kinda what happened..but jamie ditched me and alex ditched me and kim ditches me all the time but i dont care im not trying to justify my actions
i didnt do it on purpose
jon just called me randomly
but heh...even tho we just sat around for like 3hours
and for the last 45mins i could barely keep my eyes open
just laying, even if i wasnt next to him, just felt wonderful
being what...less than a foot from him was just
i dunno
i loved that he liked good will hunting...heh...
it was like bahhhh perfect
even tho i would have perfered us doing other things...heh
it was just.....
wonderful
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 15 February :: 6.03pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: bah i dunno
wtf i hate everyone im lieing on that one but w.e.
so yeah
had a breakdown sunday night
oh boy that was fun
monday i had my first two panic attacks
yeah......
rob decided he wanted to put his hand near my crouch and i THOUGHT i didnt look like it bothered me but he gladly and loudly informed me that my face was insainly red.
i just wanted to run up to bobby n tell him everything and then he would make it better some how
or make it worse
i dunno
i just wish i could fucking tell him
god
i hate feeling like shit omfg
i dont think i even really like rob that much
feelings r going away for dave.....now that i never see him
and u want what u cant have so yeah....bobby n jon
i just wish there was someone for me
or that i wasnt so fucking fat
or whatever
it kinda seems like people r dumping all their shit on me
n i inreturn try to dump my shit back but no one listens
except penguin....sry i rant so much 2u
sabrina is getting on my nerves a lil, shay is ok....but eh...
i gave her balls lol
i really feel like jaycee is my friend
and kim isnt
yeah
i dunno
nething
nemore
yeah
update l8r...........h8rs.....
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2005 7 February :: 4.18pm
:: Mood: not too bad
:: Music: I Want to Take You Higher - Sly and the Family Stone
V-day
Well it appears that my friend rachel is my valentine. I met her at camp. She's awesome. She's funny and crazy. We have sooooo much in common its not even funny. We have been trying to get together for a year and a half. We still havent. But hopefully soon. Well i dont have anything else goin on now so bye all
~BOYER
2 And the wings that you burn..... |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 6 February :: 11.19am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: brand new- the quiet things that no one ever knows
eh blah 2 u
so yeah
things r still confusing
like i dont get it.
boys r soooooooo weird
lol
rob is like.........constantly flirting wtih me.....n then there was this whole thing where his hand was moving and stoped .5 from my "area". yeah that was a little "WTF" ish
same with at the concert that night, he well, he wasnt ALL over me but..he was just enough near me that it was more than usual....bahhhhh hes so weird
n its annoying....cuz he probably knows that i still like him, but HELLO he broke up with me.......i wish i had said more to him when he did break up with me......for now ill just blame jon for being right there when he did it.........
bahhhhhhhhhhh
bobbys sister is all....not ok and stuff
i feel so bad for him.....he is like......the one person who doesnt deserve neshit.....not becuase hes a great person (everyone has faults) but because......its him. hes all there for people n stuff.....i dunno i just think that he doesnt need ne shit
its gonna be like 50 out today, and i wanna spend the whole day outside.......hopefully resisting the insane urge to smoke
hopefully
and you no its not so easy when ur all alone
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so yeah
im thinking that im gonna be with kim n josh today
yup
eh yeah
ive lost the urge to update lol
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhtheresnomoretryingtonighthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhandiwonderifimallaloneinyourheadhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2005 2 February :: 3.13pm
:: Mood: im doing pretty good
:: Music: Wayward son - Kansas
Who'd of thunk that this quickly things would improve for me
Well there are a few things that need to be updated. For one thing i went to the military ball with julie, a friend of mine (obviously). She's in ROTC so she asked me if i wanted to go. I said hell yeah. man was that fun. I think that was the most fun ive had in a loooong time. Even more than the dance last year. im sure the company helped but it wasnt just that. It was everything. The setting, the people, they way i was dressed. O yes ladies. i looked rather pimp in my outfit. yeah. i had a black suit, black shirt, and a silk pink tie. i felt damn fine. and julie looked good. she is fun. but im not attracted to her. i mean she's not ugly. far from it. its just....idk. i dont feel anything towards her. so o well there.
Also becs is now going out with some black kid from the track team. it's not his race that annoys me. to be honest i dont care who becs dates. but its the fact that she lied about why we broke up. she broke up with him to go out with me. O well though. i dont care that much at this point. But consequently i called her up the day after the ball and told her im not taking her. they're my tickets and i want to go with someone ill have fun with. and it would be way too akward to still go with her. shes angry. she said you know i can't go now right? i said of course i know. but i dont care.
So basically shes angry at me. and some of our friends are too. but like i said before. i dont care.
well now apparently there are a few ladies that like me. this is new for me to be honest. i know your all shocked now. but its true. i havent had many girls like me before. at least that had come to me first. but idk what i wanna do yet. im jsut letting things happen. but now my mom wants the comp. peace niggah
~BOYER
1 And the wings that you burn |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 29 January :: 10.46pm
my first relationship
over in just about three days
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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evilgirl28666
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2005 27 January :: 6.15pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: edwin mccain-ill be
got this song from robbb
hehe...yeah
so things are so confusing right now
im like sliding between being manicdepressive about jon and like insainly happy over nothing with rob
rob was in my english class last semester and now hes in my history class, lunch, and biology class
im like soo happy
heh yeah
hes wicked nice, n only insults me when we r joking around and if not he makes sure that i know hes joking
he called me today, i told him he could online, but neways
we were talking n ish and he was like yeah im crying
and omg...i didnt no what to say
then he was singing and i was like omg stop
but its only becuase ever since i heard steve sing guys singing just sounds...weird i dunno
but yeah
ill be the greatest fan of your life
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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evilgirl28666
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2005 25 January :: 8.37pm
crying is majorly horrible
it should be outlawed or something
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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