rayray
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2006 22 August :: 5.20am
Okay, so the beginning of yesterday was one of the worst days of my life.
Things seem to be back on track.
Or at least getting there.
I still feel incredibly sick.
And I would give anything to go back to sleep right now.
But only if he was going to be next to me.
I don't recommend bouncing off the rail of a pool either.
It hurts.
you worry too much
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snowman
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2006 20 August :: 10.58pm
i have 2 brke wrists, 1 busted foot, i crushed vertebra
4 kids |
you worry too much
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sugarjackj
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2006 19 August :: 10.38pm
Ever wonder what I would look like with short black hair?
The pictures are to come......soon.
2 kids |
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 20 August :: 4.36pm
So much drama, it's rediculous.
Last night when we were at the bar, there was a drug bust, a big fight.
Then we go back to Leons and there's 5 cop cars, and cops swarmed around this trailer with their guns pulled. Some guy tried to kill himself after he body slammed his girlfriend.
Then we go back to the bar and the cops show up again, because some guy couldn't find his girlfriend, the last thing he knew was that 2 guys ran her off the road. So he was freaking out.
And then somewhere in between there, Courtney showed up to the bar. Stupid bitch.
Just seeing her ruined my night.
Didnt get home til 5 this morning because Leon and I were sitting in the rain talking.
I needed to get some stuff off my chest, so I stuck around after Mike came home.
And now Im sitting here watching Lifetime movies.
Oh and I got a job at GRC in Greenville. I start monday. First shift.
It's only 8 dollars an hour. Sucky. But atleast it's something.
1 kid |
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 17 August :: 11.34pm
I love him more than anything, but something isn't right.
The fact that I can ignore all his flaws and still love everything about him and not be annoyed by him doesn't seem right to me.
The fact that I have to think of my mom to get pissed off to get pissed at him and fight back isn't right.
I don't understand how he can fight with me, not talk about it, and have things be back to normal all within 15 minutes.
It confuses me how one person who does so much for me and everyone else, who listens better than any guy I know, can be so insensitive and shut the world out.
It's strange how we can go from being so happy, to everything being wrong, back to being happy again.
It's so weird that I didn't want to go on a date with him at first and all it took was one date to draw me in.
I don't understand any of this.
I feel like I should be living my life more. Going to clubs, drinking, partying, dating more, waking up in strange places with strange people and wondering what the fuck.
Not feeling like a housewife with a step child, with financial troubles, no job and on the verge of completely losing my mind.
He took me back after I did one of the worst things someone could possibly do.
He took the chance to trust me again.
I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything.
There are some things that I wish were differ'nt but I wouldn't change them.
Sometimes I wish he didnt have a kid because then we could just run away from everything here.
Then I feel guilty for even thinking that.
I feel like he's not happy with me.
And the thought of him leaving me, makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I need to tell him how I feel.
But I'm too much of a fucking chicken.
you worry too much
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stinko
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2006 16 August :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: "white walls" still remains
major suckage
you suck so much sometimes.
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 16 August :: 12.28pm
the fact that im eating soup instead of fast food irritates him.. he keeps asking if i want money to go get fast food.. and him asking me over and over is irritating me..
We were reading through the newspaper and saw this ad that said "No experience need for qualified applicant.".. thought it was funny..
And then we got on the topic of self-esteem and i was like hunny will you share yours with me.. and he goes "self-esteem is like a rubber, you don't share it because that's just fucked up.."
you worry too much
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Kate
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2006 14 August :: 2.03am
:: Music: Snow Patrol - Headlights on Dark Roads
I am back in Cedar. Ten days left before I leave for Poland. Tell me if you want to hang out before I leave and which day is best for you. I'm having a party sometime, the day is undecided for right now.
I have photos, lots and lots of photos from my summer at Camp Nicolet. I didn't really want to post them all on here, so I uploaded them to facebook because it's a hell of a lot easier. If you want to see them, go to facebook and look. You'll have to have an account to do so, I'm sorry. If you don't want to get an account, but want to see them, talk to me and I'll give you my username and password for a bit so you can see them.
It's nice to be back, guys. I'll miss you when I'm gone again. But I just can't seem to stop moving now that I've started.
2 kids |
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 14 August :: 7.29pm
Last night was so much fun.
We started off in Stanton at the Old Fashion Days then we came back here so mike and I could grab some warm clothes for the night because we were going back to GR to ride.
Mike and I went to Franco's and had dinner while Leon was working and we were waiting for Wayne, Johnny, Cally, John and Monica to get there so we could all go riding. It was nice having dinner just him and I.
Anyway we left Franco's and we're going down some rd i cant remember the name of it and here come all these cops and whatnot.. There was a terrible hit and run accident.. This drunk guy hit a guy on a bike and the bike is totaled. The guy that was on the bike is in critical condition. A few minutes later, and it could have been one of us. Which is a scary thought.
So then we went downtown for a bit.. Riding is soooo much fun.
Last night the guys were talking about pitching in to get me a bike, so that I can have my own.
And then I slept all day! Woo..
you worry too much
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stinko
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2006 12 August :: 8.15pm
gaaah.
i got like 3-4 hours of sleep last night and then i had to work.
so crapppppppppy.
but then i took one of those 'not quite a nap' naps. i don't know if it did me any good. i woke up two hours ago and i am finally not sleepy.
and all this week i have to be in by 6 or 7 because all these morning people quit and i agreed to come in early. i thought it would be for a day or two. not a week or two.
oh well.
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 13 August :: 1.14pm
Yesterday I had quite the eventful day.
Went to Grand Rapids twice, once by car, once by bike.
And I went to the drag strip with Wayne and Leon where we met up with Bowswer and then we went to the bar.
When we were at the bar, I kept making small peter jokes towards Wayne and we were putting ice cubes down the back of each others shirts, until he dumped a whole glass of water down the back of my shirt.
Didn't get home til about 4:30 this morning..
And today we are going riding again.. we're going to the stanton old fashion days.
Yep, thats my life..
3 kids |
you worry too much
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jayzulla
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2006 11 August :: 1.35pm
party last friday went pretty well. however i do have to say lots of beer and drinking pool water (not on purpose) doesnt mix very well. shits been good, got the celica back, just cant ever sell it if i ever intended on it. dont have much else to say.
8 kids |
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 12 August :: 9.37am
I hate stressing about things.
Because then I sit here and my heart starts racing.
And I start thinking about everything that is wrong, and all the things that could be wrong, should be wrong, and about to go wrong or that I feel like I have done wrong.
But honestly, I've done nothing wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong, there's probably a lot of things that could be wrong, not sure what should be wrong and who knows whats about to go wrong.
He doesn't come to bed right when he gets home, which is weird because he always has, even if it was just to lay with me for a little bit.
This morning he left without saying anything (on the bike leaving all his stuff) and when I called him, he sounded like there was something wrong.
But of course when I ask him about it, he says nothing.
Which leaves me here, thinking there's something wrong.
And I won't know if there really is something wrong until he gets back, and who knows what time that will be.
And of course I'll stay here waiting until he does get back to find out.
Because I am who I am, and I always think that the moment I leave when something is wrong, he's going to pack up all his stuff and just leave me.
I had a dream last night that Courtney asked him out and he told her to give him to the rest of the day to answer. And when he came home he grabbed some of his stuff and made that phone call.
And being that when I dream, it's like i'm having an actual conversation, I'm scared.
It makes me feel like we're falling apart. Or maybe I'm just being stupid and paranoid.
EDIT:So I get out of the shower and he's back home. And he's pissed off yet jumping with joy, because he got a letter from an impound saying that they have his truck. So we get to go pick up his truck and whatsuch.. Finally. Now I can give back the suburban, and my brother will get off my back! yay.
2 kids |
you worry too much
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stinko
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2006 10 August :: 10.05pm
so . . . i am downtown right now.
someone just got chased and arrested for carrying knives!
so scary!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 kids |
you worry too much
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joeydomina
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2006 9 August :: 4.44pm
interview tomorrow. dont care if i get it. have a good day everyone else
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 10 August :: 2.57pm
If I didn't have my boyfriend by my side, I'd completely lose all control.
As of today, my unemployment is up.
Went to peoplelink today, I have to go back tomorrow for safety orientation.
Hopefully they can place me somewhere right away.
My bank account is overdrawn so much.
Makes me cry.
My mom and I aren't talking.
Laundry needs to be done.
We might be moving.
you worry too much
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joeydomina
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2006 8 August :: 12.17pm
Do you ever wonder what peoples lives would have been like if you wouldnt have gotten involved? I have.
4 kids |
you worry too much
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snowman
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2006 7 August :: 10.30pm
holly you cant run me, you will never run me. Nobody can run me damnit. and holly just put my name in the post, dont make it a big fuckin secret you fuckin slut
5 kids |
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 7 August :: 11.51pm
The last few days I've been helpnig my dad side his house.
It sucks major ass.
Friday Carley and Hilary came over. And we had fun.
Saturday night Mike, Leon, Wayne and Bowser and I went to Howard City to some anniversary party. It was kind of boring but we had our own fun.
Yesterday I went to my grandma's for awhile, and then I went back to my dads. Then Mike came over there and we went and got something to eat and then went to his uncle Tim's then we went back to my dads and watched a movie..
Which then left me reformatting my computer, losing all my pictures (well over 500) and all my music files (well over 300).
Sucks major ass.
And that about sums it all up..
1 kid |
you worry too much
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fishyrere
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2006 3 August :: 1.37pm
i miss you and i love you...
*sigh* another day goes by. i wish i could make things all better between us. i really wish i could just sit here and listen to you and make you proud of me but i cant. the last time i did i ended up being hurt way more. i'm glad we had a conversation without yelling at eachother even if it was only for 10 min. i miss you and no matter what, i do love you. i wish we could see eye to eye but i doubt that will happen. but i still love you and i just wanted to let you know since we dont get to talk very much anymore. some things are beyond us. just try to be happy for me and i'll try to do the same for you.
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 2 August :: 11.47pm
Talk about random things..
This is a text I got...
From: 63232
Beyonce Knowles was sued for 1.5 million dollars by a former business associate who claims she didn't compensate him financially on securing a business deal..
11:37pm 2-AUG-06
That and I love the movie The Good Girl.
2 kids |
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 2 August :: 1.37pm
Trying to sleep off a headache is like the hardest thing to do when you can't seem to cool off and you keep being mauled by your boyfriend in his sleep, which makes you sweat more because he's sweating. For some reason it's not very cool in this apartment.. my a/c is on.. but you can't tell..
2 kids |
you worry too much
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sugarjackj
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2006 31 July :: 9.41pm
Things are wonderful.
I'm almost set.
This is going to be an amazing thing for me. I'm so excited.
Friday night was a blast, and saturday after everything settled down, was super chill.
Kirah is one of the most amazing people i have ever met. In our nine years of being best friends we have never fought. She just reminded me how much our lives are just begining. And again, that some things will never change. I love her almost as much as i love my family. Its the most amazing thing ever.
I'm in a great mood, even though i hurt, a lot. At the hospital today, it was the most physical pain i have ever been in. I know my pain was nothing compaired to what my mom has been through. Even though she is weak, she is the strongest person i know. I thank God that she's here.
I know what i want, and im making it happen.
:)
4 kids |
you worry too much
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joeydomina
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2006 31 July :: 8.18pm
PLEASE TAKE INTEREST
i am selling the following.....
300 watt car amp for 25 dollars or best offer
sword for 50 dollars or best offer
video camera for 10 dollars or best offer
and be be gun for 25 dollars....
please take interest i really need the money
9 kids |
you worry too much
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joeydomina
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2006 31 July :: 7.42pm
:: Music: Doll - Foo Fighters
well i had a great interview..... i dunno what else i'm gonna do for the week. i dont know when i'll get to see my girl.
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 31 July :: 1.12pm
Where to begin.
Friday I went to the drag strip with Mike, Jerry, Johnny, Cally, and Leon to watch Wayne and Busa Bob race. As well as all the others.
It was kind of boring. Woo watching people go down a straight track as fast as they can. Would have been better if there were more people racing.
Then we rode around downtown GR for awhile. When we were down by the Margarita grill, talking and trying to figure out where to go next, this drunk black guy walked up to Waynes bike, got on it, turned the key, put Wayne's helmet on and expected to just ride off with it. But Wayne ran over to his bike, took the key and the helmet off the guy and the guy just walked away. He deserved to get his ass beat.
I guess Lindsey and Courtney aren't friends anymore, all because Lindsey was talking to me, and realized that I'm not a bad person, that Courtney's just a dumb bitch.
Saturday Mike's daughter came over for a few hours. She was going to spend the night, but then she called her mom and was like will you come get me i want to come home. We still dont know why. It was her choice.
Yesterday Mike and I went to his Grandma's house becasue Stanley was being a douche bag and was in jail that morning. And so if Stanley screws up one more time, he's coming to stay with us until Will gets out of jail. The first time he pisses me off, he's gone.
And now I am sitting here watching Final Destination 3. I live a boring freaking life.
2 kids |
you worry too much
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empath
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2006 30 July :: 10.53pm
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: Johnny Cash
two more days.. until I am happy once more. I'm a little anxious. I can't believe it's been a month already. My summer has wasted away too quickly. Only twenty-some days until I "blow this joint" called Cedar Springs. I shall never return for more than days at a time. I doubt I'll miss a thing. I hope everything works out.. for me and everyone else.
you worry too much
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rayray
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2006 29 July :: 4.26pm
I am currently watching Footloose with Mike's daughter.
While he is out riding around on his bike.
I love how he calls me to tell me that he is going to spend time with his daughter today/night and she will be staying here and asks if i can go get her, and then when i get there he tells me that he's going to Ionia for a few hours..
Someone save me.
2 kids |
you worry too much
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joeydomina
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2006 29 July :: 4.09am
life......is.......decent
7 kids |
you worry too much
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