You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.

:: 2006 29 June :: 11.37pm

That was weird.

I think I'm worng,
And that makes me a huuuge asshole.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

:: 2006 29 June :: 9.11pm

Hell yes.

wildthing

:: 2006 29 June :: 4.33pm

Hey yall how are ya?? I'm good i'm up in michigan right now visiting woot! so yeah i'm graduated, and workin my ass off, not goin to college yet but soon enough. well thats about it. lifes about as boring as it gets

:: 2006 29 June :: 2.49pm

Jessie wilde,

do you want hang out friday or saturday?

:: 2006 29 June :: 3.40am

I Love Superman Returns
Ok all I went and saw The Movie of the Year.....

It had so much potential to fail, how can you follow up to Christopher Reeves movies. You cant. Its fact. But somehow they did. I'll admit it there were alot of scenes that made me get a bit teary eyed. I seriously love that movie. I have loved A Walk To Remember as my favorite movie but Returns totally kicks its ass. Gah. I want that costume too. Its so kickass on screen. Damn you Brandon Routh..... not really. Great acting, Great Story, Great everything. If only I can go and watch it again.... oh wait i can.... haha I love being a retard. *Durrrrrrr*

Go See That Movie.... YOu wont regret it.

Joey

10 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 28 June :: 11.04pm

Guys really dont go for the funny girls.

If they tell you they do, they lie.

2 kids | you worry too much

kate

:: 2006 28 June :: 6.03pm

I'm in Wisconsin. I live on the beach. I'm the baker. I bake for 170 people. I like it! I can get on the Internet only about once a week and for a little while. I miss some of you. Please write me if you can, I would love it.

Camp Nicolet - Kate Shelton
P.O. Box 1359
Eagle River, Wisconsin 54521

2 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 28 June :: 4.06am
:: Mood: *happy*
:: Music: *push - sarah mclachlan*

*as my past turns to ashes i build a life i won't forget*
Been suffering the past few days with a terrible headache.
I've tried everything to get rid of it.
And nothing seems to help.
I think the cause of my headache was partly from an over-abundance of unwelcomed, inexplainable stress.
I suppose it's what I get for being a paranoid over analyzing insecure girl who suffers from PMDD.
However, some of my insecurities have been surpassed.
With a little help from my wonderful boyfriend, who I love more than anything.
Saturday night he helped me realize that he does love me, without even saying the three words I want him to say more than anything.
I guess I will just have to deal with it and wait until he is ready to tell me.
Have I mentioned that I'm impatient as well?
Anyway, today my headache eased up a bit.
Even moreso when he surprised me with some good news.
Starting next week he'll no longer be on third shift.
They are transfering him to first.
He's wanted this for so long.
No more sleeping alone at night.
Maybe we can start to have a "normal" relationship for once.

Hopefully tomorrow we go pick up his car or as he says "our car".
He's buying a 98 ford mustang.
Kind of excited because he's going to let me drive it.
I am still in need of a job.
So if anyone knows of anything, please let me know.
At this point I will settle for almost anything.
I'll baby sit all summer if I have to.. Well if the pay is right.. I do have rent to pay.

Tonight I was able to do something that I spent 2 years thinking I was never going to be able to do. Since I got over him, I still had this thought in the back of my mind, that if he were to come back around and tempt me, I'd go running back, with arms open. They say you never forget your first love. Back then I thought he was my first love. But I was wrong. It was just a deep infatuation gone wrong. I finally have the self-control that I was lacking for a long time. I am finally able to say no, to the one person I wasn't able to say it to. He told me what he was thinking, and asked me what I was thinking. The thoughts in my mind were nothing near what he had on his mind. Two years ago or so, they would have been the same. I can finally say this without hesitation. I am completely over him. I will be able to have a friendship with him and not think about what would happen the moment we were alone. The only person I think about in that way, is my boyfriend. The only person I want to think about that way, is my boyfriend. He means the world to me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Some of you may know who him is, infact he may even be reading this. If you don't and are confused, then it's better that way.

And if you are reading this, I am not sorry that you weren't the one on my mind, but I am sorry for the way you must have felt when you found out you weren't. Multiply that by atleast 3, and thats the way I felt for 2 years or so when I thought I had my chance when really I didn't.

I feel quite relieved now.

:: 2006 28 June :: 12.19am

So this is how it rolls: List ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people. Do not state who these people are. Do not confirm or deny any 'comment speculation'.

1. You have problems, but I love you anyway, because you need it.
2. You make me smile when you talk to me. Every time.
3. I know your big dark secret, it�s so cool, even though its so bad.
4. I can�t even stand it when someone brings up even your name.
5. You are on my mind more then you should be ;)
6. You are the best friend I have ever had.
7. You make things complicated.
8. You hurt me more then you will ever know.
9. If I had another chance, it would have been you.
10.You amaze me so very much.

:: 2006 28 June :: 12.05am

2 things
Okay today has 2 things going on......

first off happy b-day sydney

second happy superman returns day to everyone who actually cares......

saweet

Joey

:: 2006 27 June :: 9.13pm

Im a pretty strong person.
I can handel a lot.

But sometimes i wish life would not hit me so hard.

It would be nice to have some problems just vanish.

It would be nice.

:: 2006 27 June :: 5.58pm

I've been having a rough day so can someone just end it for me...... time has gone by so slow today and i just havent felt like my happy self lately. i dont know whats wrong with me.

2 kids | you worry too much

snowman

:: 2006 27 June :: 11.48am

i been hangin out at the shop lately prally gonna move in at Todds with chris and keith. well g2g to court bye people ncie knowin ya

:: 2006 26 June :: 11.17pm

For What?

7 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 26 June :: 11.16pm

And Why?

:: 2006 26 June :: 4.16pm

These fashion zombies don't walk this world alone.

WTF?

i'm feeling slightly wounded
won't you kiss it better?

miniredhawk

:: 2006 26 June :: 4.38am

I'm moving to Rockford after the first of the year. Awesome.

:: 2006 26 June :: 12.21am

I'm so lost right now
Well let me see.... Jess and I opened up so much to each other tonight. I'm trying to get into college because I feel i'm gonna need it more than I thought. I want to be a better person and i feel thats what i have to do. I'm thinking maybe Emt, Degree of arts, or something else that i'll take that i'll like. oh well i dunno even if i'm smart enough. I guess I'll have to see what they have for financial aid or grants. well I'm gonna go bye all.

JOey

:: 2006 25 June :: 9.42pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: ths START - Big Shot

One shot was all it took for me...

Phil you rock so much.

:: 2006 25 June :: 2.26am
:: Mood: listless
:: Music: the START - Her Song

Can you just be in love?

I think im in love.

but not with a person.

Or even an object at that.

and if not, what is it?

4 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 25 June :: 2.22am

So as most of you know, the last few days I have been questioning a lot of things and looking for answers.
Until today, I was questioning whether or not he really does love me.
I was confused because he's never said it.
Today, he made me realize that he really does.
All it took was the kiss he gave me and the way he looked into my eyes.
The intensity of the kiss was just amazing.
He's never kissed me like that before.
Now I must continue to go sweat my ass off and finish watching the movie I rented.

:: 2006 24 June :: 10.29pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: Daddy O (some french band)

Its a good thing he's gay or i would be in love.
So....I went out last night with Megan, Katharine and Mike.

It was so much fun. We went to Rocket Star and had coffee and then just talked. And i didn�t mean to ignore Nathan but i just didn�t want to talk to him. It was cool though because i met a ton of Mike's friends. It made me almost laugh because there was a guy who was so much like Addison.

One thing that i never know how to respond to is.."You are so beautiful" especially when they are strangers. Its one of the only things that you can say that will throw me off and leave me not knowing what to say.

But then we went to The Crow's Nest. And i feel a little bad about leaving Katherine & Megan out of our conversation, but it was amazing. I can�t even begin to explain how great it was. He knew everything i was talking about and I knew everything he was saying.

It was just very nice to have someone understand every word that came out of my mouth.

And at the end of the night he said the same thing to me, and it was just, Amazing.

:: 2006 24 June :: 4.29am

*things I hate*
I hate my apartment.
I hate the white walls.
I hate living on the second floor.
I hate having to pay to do my laundry.
I hate doing laundry.
I hate my landlord.
I hate that the dishwashers are so loud I can hear all of them in the building.
I hate that the washer and dryer are the same distance from my bedroom at my moms to the bathroom in her house.
I hate that I can't get a kitten, because of my landlord, and my boyfriend is allergic.
I hate that I'm insecure, paranoid and have to sleep alone at night.
I hate that I have crappy hair that is brittle, thin and gets greasy really easily.
I hate that I have to shave my legs everyday in order for them to be soft.
I hate that I get jealous.
I hate change.
I hate that after wearing my glasses for awhile, for like a day it feels like I still have them on, so I am constantly touching my face like im pushing them up when really there is nothing there and then I end up looking stupid.
I hate feeling stupid.
I hate that my car is still broke.
I hate that most my friends won't come see me, I have to go see them.
I hate that hurt my boyfriend.
I hate that I'm allergic to nickel.
I hate that my mother is a fucking psycho.
I hate that gas is so expensive.
I hate stupid people.
I hate people in general.
I hate people who think looks are everything.
I hate people who act better than others just to try and make themselves feel like something.
I hate Jim.
I hate alcoholics.
I hate people who drink and drive.
I hate child abusers/molesters/pediphiles, etc..
I hate drugs dealers, ho's, whores etc..
I hate snow/winter/cold and anything associated with that time of year.
I hate thanksgiving.
I hate that there isn't a cure for cancer.
I hate that no matter what, bad things always happen to good people.
I hate the fact that I never got to say good-bye to my grandma.
I hate that I didn't get to see her that often, and when I had the chance I turned it down.
I hate judgemental people.
I hate anyone by the name of Courtney.
I hate cheaters, and yes, that includes myself.
I hate rich people.
I hate being a girl.
I hate it when people who want kids more than anything end up not being able to have them, while the people who don't want kids, are able to.

That is my list so far. Perhaps there will be a part 2, maybe even a part 3. But for now, I'm done.

:: 2006 23 June :: 4.56pm

He's never said "I love you".
Hasn't even hinted towards those words.
I keep waiting to hear them.
And because I haven't heard them yet, Im becoming insecure.
I've hurt him so many times, yet we're still together.
Could his way of saying that he loves me, be that he'll stay with me, no matter what?

6 kids | you worry too much

jayzulla

:: 2006 23 June :: 2.20pm

Live life, and never look back. Never doubt your actions, and never doubt yourself. Makes getting over ruts easy as pie.

:: 2006 23 June :: 1.16am

Wow I cant Wait
wow.....only 5 days left until superman returns. its almost unbearable.

:: 2006 22 June :: 11.45pm

Well so far today, I got my lip split open when Mike and I were wrestling. Took a knee to the face. Took it like a man too. Then we went and looked at vehicles. He claims he's getting a mustang.. So we'll see how far that actually goes. Was asked who Brad was and why he left me a message on MSN that said "Goodnight DEAR". Still have yet to explain that whole story. Mike now thinks that I'm going to leave him for Brad. And I thought I was insecure.

Yeah, thats about all. My lip hurts like a bitch though. It's cut good. Bled for atleast 20 minutes. Time to go watch a movie or the style channel or the CSI espisode I missed, if it's on..

So I got to the root of his unhappiness and sense of insecurity. He went through my phone and read a text message I had sent to Jay that said "I don't like feeling like a mom".

Which is true, I don't. I feel like I have a lot of growing up to do yet, and shouldn't be feeling like a mom. I'm trying to force myself into thinking I don't want kids, because I don't want to turn out like my mom, and I would do anything to be with Mike for the rest of my life, and he doesn't want anymore kids. So he's apologizing for being a burden and making me feel like a mom and whatever other bullshit there is. But really, he's not a burden to me. He's not the one that makes me feel like a mom. It's that I clean all the time, and I have my own place. My apartment seems to get messy like really fast, when its only the two of us, and all we pretty much do is sleep. Hopefully in the morning I can get him to talk to me, and we can talk this out. Things have been going so wonderful lately too. And of course, I have to be the one to screw things up. I love him more than anything.

snowman

:: 2006 22 June :: 6.16pm

court tuesday the 27th

4 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 22 June :: 2.42pm

My boss is way too cool.

She just said "I'm leaving at 4, so if you leave early i wont even know"

then she winked.

:: 2006 21 June :: 11.32pm

Conclusion of the day: I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of starting over.