I wanted to believe in all the words I was speaking, as we moved together in the dark.
And all the friends that I was telling.
And all the playful misspellings.
And every bite I gave you left a mark.
Tiny vessels oozed into your neck,
and formed the bruises that you said you didn't want to fade, but they did, and so did I, that day.
so I go out for a friends birthday, meet up with a bunch of people from work at our hangout pub. As the night wraps up, a girl from work (who I would kill for to get with) invites me to the after party for some more drinks and drink compliments.
Long story short, as we are all going to pass out this girl (now thoroughly intoxicated i.e. deal breaker) wakes my ass up and asks me to go outside to have a cigarette with her (I still don't smoke and I wasn't cigarette drunk either). I go with her outside of this dorm that requires a keycard for entry at the University of Maryland when she of course notices that she forgot a lighter. She head back upstairs to find it and leaves me outside with no shoes. Its raining. She doesn't come back.
So there I am, in a place infested with police patrolling for drunk college kids who just graduated, with no shoes, in the rain, with no fucking clue where I am.
lucky for me she gave me her iPhone before heading back upstairs, which I used to navigate my way out. Doesn't mean I didn't have to walk around campus in socks while it was raining looking for the parking lot I parked my car in.
So now I have a new iPhone and a pack of menthols (If I DID smoke, I would not smoke menthols).
Ok so, I went to hang out with her because I think she's cute. I didn't try and make a move or anything, but I did put myself in the situation.
A day late..
Callie,
I'm sorry I'm late. Time goes by so quickly now that you're here. I hate it. I want you to stay my baby forever. You're already 7 months old. 7 months ago I delivered you in our bathroom. Wow. Over half way to your first birthday. Insane! Any ways... At your last dr.appointment (may 2nd) you were STILL only 67 cm long (roughly 26 inches) and get this, 19.5 lbs! You are off the charts for weight and normal for height. You sit soooo well now. You learn forward so far that you end up on one knee...but still you manage to sit back down with out falling (most times!). Recently,i moved you to your crib. Is maybe been a week. The pay two nights though you've ended up back in bed with me. You s sleep so much better that way...but daddy has gotten so used to you not being in bed that every morning his pillow magically ends up in the middle of the bed where you "used" to lay. You have hard a hard time pooping this past week...in fact you haven't pooped really at all since monday when you had your first BLOW OUT in cloth at the appointment. Other than that one time..you have not pooped out of your cloth diapers. So the cloth diapers are working well for us. I believe your sudden issue with pooping is caused by your eating habits changing. All of a sudden it seems you started eating purees. And then in a short time we moved you to eating twice a day. A fruit and oatmeal mix in the am amd then a fruit and veggie mix in the evening. You were eating really well for like a week straight.now not so much..i think you feel like your belly is full (full of poo!) So its uncomfortable for you to eat. Lets see....you love to stand now. If you're ever upset.. Standing you up..will stop your tears with out fail. We go out side every day. You LOVE grass. Your sister hated it. Oh, and speaking of your sister..you absolutely adore her. You talk and talk and talk to each other all the time. And laugh together. She is the best big sister and you are the best little sister. You have a great relationship with each other..i hope it status this good throughout your childhood and into your adult lives. Oh..your newest"trick"is talking on my phone. I use speaker phone so whenever I'm on it, you hold my phone and start jabbering away. Its the cutest thing. You are the cutest thing. I love you baby. And I'm so grateful you are a part of my life.
6 months
Callie,
Happy late 6 months baby!
We had two appointments last week, started cloth diapering AND I took your six month pictures. At your check up you weighed 18 lbs 12 oz and were 26 and 3/4 inches. Short and FAT! You can now sit by yourself for a very long time..hours even. Can stand for a few minutes (holding our hands of course) and...here's the big one, YOU CAN CLAP! Right now you are sick...got a pretty bad cold. So does your big sister and me too. You love to eat your feet, and you need a
blanky to fall asleep. You are wearing 12-18 month clothes....autumn jumping up and down can make you laugh no mater how upset you are. You are eating every three hours during the day. Your last feeding is at midnight. Then you wake up twice in the nightstill.. Once at around four or five and then again at 8 or 9. Then you eat at noon,3,6,9 and then midnight. Oh and you still won't eat baby food. Once in a while you will eat a few bies of rice cereal...but that's it.
I've been waiting
Waiting under things
That rise in the morning
I've been holding
Holding back so long
You can own it
Take it off my hands
Do me a favor
Nothin wasted
Just fingerfucked and
Busted up all at once
I'm so lost out on the highway
With no direction left to go
Everyday sit up and wonder
Where it was I started from
5 months
Sorry I'm late. It's been an interesting week. We took you to. The dr. Tuesday because you've had a spot beneath your eye that was puffy and red. She thought it was a Strep infection and so we started you on keflex. Today we got a call from your Pediatrician saying that the cultures were in and that she needed to switch the antibiotic. So... we started you on amoxiciilan today. Hope it works. She said it would most likely cause diarrhea and you've already got what looks like a test infection so...I hope it's worth it! Tomorrow is greenlee's 1st birthday party. Hopefully you can make it. :)
Some milestones for you...
You can sit on your own
You said mama today ( not on purpose I know but still!)
You can roll from front to back back to front
And can turn yourself in a complete circle
You can push yourself backwards across the wood floors
You laugh constantly...especially at your big sister
You're 17.5 lbs and 26 inches!
Oh and obviously that shows you still love to eat... but I've got you up to every three hours instead of two!!!
Don't worry I still love you even though you are attached to me every three hours 24 hours a day.
