Alone

Alone

:: 2004 16 November :: 9.28pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: green day - boulevard of broken dreams

so yesterday i went to my babe's house. my sisters went to, 'cause my mom doesn't trust me anymore.. haha. anyways, we watched some movies, and just hung out.. my mom like flipped out when she found out jim came to pick us up; i thought i wouldn't be allowed to go over there again, but she didn't say anything today. anyways, we all got home around 9:00. i had a good time, it definitly lifted my spirts to be allowed to go over there.

earlier yesterday [at 9:45 am] i had an apointment with WIC. i got some checks for formula for gabrielle. they weighed her.. she weighs 13 pounds and 7 1/2 ounces! holy crap! she is 23 inches long.. she grew an inch since she was born. i can't believe how big she is getting.

jim and i's 2 year anniversary is on the 29th. <3

oh, i don't go back to school until december 6th.. and i weigh 145. [i lost 3 pounds in 2 days?? i got weighed at my doctors apt. on the 15th and i got weighed again yesterday] hmmm.. i don't look any thiner.. i actually look like a whale. haha.

yeah.. i'm feeling a lot better than i was yesterday. i was so worried about my mom not letting me see jim again. i have a lot of mood swings anymore. haha, can you say bipolar?

Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 15 November :: 10.43pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: gwen stepthani - what are you waiting for

i'm not okay.. i promise.

quizes..
Read more..

2 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 15 November :: 9.39pm
:: Mood: upset

You turn off the tv
And you scream at me
I can hardly wait
til you get off my case

No matter how hard I try
You're never satisfied
This is not a home
I think I'm better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you're here
This is not my home
I think I'm better off alone
Home, this house is not a home

23 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 15 November :: 4.19pm
:: Mood: happy

soooo.. jim's here. :-D yes, i'm happy. yes, i'm excited. yes, my mom is letting me see him. no, i don't know why.

i'm going over his house for a few hours.. i'll update when i get back! be happy for me!

<3

1 Candle | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 14 November :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: lonely

*sigh*

lets xx hug (9:32:53 PM): i miss you
pouncer was here (9:33:52 PM): i miss you too baby

3 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 14 November :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: helpless

whatever, i feel so helpless. i hate being caught in the middle. i can't do anything without hurting one or the other. i wish things would just be how they used to be.

4 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 11 November :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: sad

And now for my ~~bad~~ day.

I woke up around 8:00.. started my report for child 2, around 10:00 i quit; i'm half done with it. Jim stopped by to give me a paper for my mom, he only stayed for a moment.. he had to go home. Around noon Alisha came over from Christan Charities and gave me some diapers and formula.. after she left I finished getting ready to go to my doctors apointment and to Wal*Mart.

Kelly went with my mom, Sam, Gab and I. We got to the doctors around 1:10.. my apointment was for 1:15. I'm doing good.. healing fine. He said I have a 'tilted uterius'. which isn't bad, it's just that my uterius is tilted up a little instead of laying flatter like most women.. I'm now on birth control..

After that, we went to Wal*Mart. Kelly and I got some really cute clothes and we got out hair cut.. we both look so cute if I do say so myself. huh kelly?! (:

..i have to pee

4 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 10 November :: 11.50pm
:: Mood: depressed

Ask me 6 questions.
Any 6 - no matter how personal, private, or random. I have to answer them honestly.

In turn, you have to post this message in your own journal // OR // you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.

Ask away, even if you don't have a journal.. leave an anonymous note.

10 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 10 November :: 1.14am
:: Mood: crying

i hate when my mom comes in my room like she did a little bit ago and starts telling me that everythings my fault, and that she's in so much debt because i made the mistake of getting pregnant. my "asshole boyfriend" isn't helping with anything.. and that she lost everything [meaning george] because of me the baby and my "asshole boyfriend". and how my dad would be so dissapointed in me, and her because i got pregnant. i don't understand anymore, i just don't understand anything.. i cut my arm; and you know what? i don't even give a fuck anymore.. i don't fuckin' care who knows, or what the fuck anyone says. fuck them, fuck everything.

i'm leaving, i'm not going to ruin everyones life just because i made one mistake.

4 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 9 November :: 11.34pm
:: Mood: upset

what the hell is wrong with me anymore?
i'm sitting here checking my e-mail.. i just started crying after i read an article on breastfeeding babies. "it's so good for them" "it's a bonding experience" "babies grow up healthier" "babies are less likely to be obese when they grow older" okay.. what the hell? i feel so guilty for not breastfeeding, it's my fault if gabrielle isn't going to be healthy when she grows up.

anymore if gabrielle cries, i cry with her. i feel like i'm doing everything wrong. no ones here to help; i'm doing everything on my own, plus i have to take care of the house, school work, my sisters, myself.. and i don't even have a job.. so i have to get my mom to buy everything for me. it's all to much for me anymore, i'm getting so over whelmed, and i feel so guilty for having to ask my mom for everything.

the other night gabrielle was crying and crying because she had a stomache ache, i sat there and said to myself i wish she would shut the hell up. then i realized what i said and freakin cried for like an hour after i got her to bed.

what's wrong with me anymore? i wish someone understood.

2 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 9 November :: 1.40pm
:: Mood: depressed

..i just feel like crying

9 Candles | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 8 November :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: the house of mouse on tv.

please vote!
i re-did my journal again.. VOTE!!! tell the truth, there's no way i know who voted!

Read more..

1 Candle | Burned Out

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 6 November :: 10.04pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Law and Order SVU

so bored.
Yesterday Jim came over.. he stayed for a few hours.. we watched The Day After Tomorrow or something like that. He left around.. uhhh- 3:30 am or so. I don't really remember. Today was boring- I didn't do anything.. so here are some quizes. I'm very bored anymore. Nothing good to write about.