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Aaron
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2003 3 October :: 10.15am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Fight fire with fire
she said it.
wow. i'm stubborn, i still don't believe it. she said it right to my fucking face abd I still don't believe it. maybe i was halucinating, or dreaming, or something, but i can't remember clearly, I just remember thinking about it, and getting "gooy". well, i have to be at school in halph an hour, so i'll shut up now.
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Aaron
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2003 2 October :: 10.39pm
:: Mood: embarrassed
dreaming again, the first almost normal dream i ever had
hmm... nice day isn't it?
yeah...
look at all the bugs. what do they live for?
who cares?
not me. hahaha! stop that, it tickles!
oh come on, it's just a little grass.
so what.
so this....
wha-.........
don't look so confused. i know told you. couldn't you hear me scream it on the phone, right after you said it? right after you you said it. are you deaf or something?
or something...
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Aaron
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2003 2 October :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: shnigif
:: Music: heaven is on it's way
OK....shit....fuck....no....ARGH!
If anything weird happened, it happened today. It was faiely embarassing actually. I wanted to shoot myself, so Yeah, I wasn't thinking, then I looked at her, thought about kissing her, and I shnigiffed. It was weird as hell. I nearly fell over, because It was a really bad one to. Normally they feel weird, this one hurt. Yeah, and then I went into her head, and I saw it again, so what the hell am I saying? well, if you don't understand, chances are I don't want you to, so ha! oh yeah, fuck...........................................................
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Aaron
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2003 30 September :: 8.04pm
yeah, that'd be easiest. pertend it didn't happen, pretend i don't know. that's what i'll do. why? because i'm sick of carying on like this,it's not worth it. nope. I'll pretend I'm happy, and then maybe i'll forget.
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Aaron
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2003 29 September :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: tears in heaven by eric clapton
no
No. I'm coming now. I won't hide it. I tell you my dream. The guy I shot, that was Quin. why? ha! I'd kill anyone for shits and giggles. Except you of course. no. nonononono. what am i saying? Quin's my friend, but then, I guess what I'm going to tell him WILL kill him. oh yeah, tori, so about those things in your head? like what? who you love? oh thats not hard. that answer i've halph known all along. but I hate it. what choice do I have.Oh, well, this'll make you lauph. certain sources tell me that god won't let me love you any longer. and that if you ever came to love me, well, he's stop that to. I'd like to see him try.
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Aaron
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2003 29 September :: 9.12pm
:: Music: path by apocalyptica
Let me be you fuckers!!!
Maybe it's me. Maybe she does love me. that would be a gift. I know she doesn't. It's not real enough. it can't be true. but I can hope, can't I?
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Aaron
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2003 28 September :: 3.28pm
:: Mood: guilty
:: Music: hurt, Terrible lie,
Empire of dirt
Fuck I'm sorry, what am I thinking, I should leave. I'll bet you hate me so what's this worth anyway? life. anything but hate. I told you about life. what it means to me. I feel so stupid now. I am that stupid. HOW!? HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME!? WHAT AM I!? HOW CAN ONE PERSON MAKE ME THIS WEAK!? I have to go. for you. start over.
hide. god, didn't I do this once already? WHAT AM I!? shit. that's all I am to you. Shit. I know how you feel. You hate it that I love you. How am I supposed about Alex feels twords me. I hate it. Not her, just her love. I can't be tweaked for her. It's hopless, and thus I hate myself. I hate it all. I wish I could do something. Why do I feel. NO! I was wrong. You MAKE me feel. But that's all I feel. Hate, love, and fear. fumnf! ha! what comes between fear and sex? fumnf! fuck I'm sorry. I gues I'll see. I hope not in hell. not yet.
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Aaron
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2003 28 September :: 10.25am
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Down the line NIN
DOWN WITH THE CHURCH!
I don't wan't to got to church. I have better things to do. like this, for instance. But I have to take michael the stuff he left hear friday oh well. I guess I have to put up with will again. I hate him. Why won't he let me be my self? He thinks I'll take the church to hell in a handbasket, that's why!!! Fuck it, to hell with it, DOWN WITH THE CHURCH! DOWN WITH THE CHURCH! DOWN WITH THE CHURCH! oh yeah, tori, um I went to your friends button, and was looking through that journal, I think It was alex's but I'm not sure and there was some stuff about when they watched porn, and that was well, disturbing, so my point is, well, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUR FRIENDS DOING WATCHING PORN! P-O-R-N!!! God~1, wow, I'd deleat that typo, but it's really awsome, but I'll wright it correctly anyway !*. Ok back to subject (oh because you know it's my favorite *gag*) Yeah, I don't care who was envolved, you all get to be hit upon your heads... most dramatically..
............. Not spanked, and just because I had that pass through my mind, I think I'll have quin do it. I hate being male. It sucks. No really, it's bloody hell, CAUSE THE REST OF THEM (I told you I was bitchy) WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT THIS HOT GIRL THEY FUCKED OR THAT GIRL THIS GUY MADE OUT WITH, BUT WAIT IT GETS, BETTER, IN THE LOCKER ROOMS, GUYS WILL BRAG ABOUT HOW BIG THEIR DICKS ARE AND TRY, TTTRRRYYY TO GET WOODIES JUST TO PROVE IT!!!! ok i'm
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