.

:: 2005 9 November :: 4.17pm

why do you have to be such a jerk about nothing? i do a lot okay.

why do we both have to be jerks like all the fricken time?

:: 2005 9 November :: 8.31am

You took away the one thing I felt okay at. You took everything I thought I'd earned. Obviously none of it mattered, but it mattered to me. You're a biased pig and I hope you regret it. That's why I'm not there. And you act like everything is okay. It's not . You're an idiot.

I hate being here. This year of school is entirely pointless to me. There is probably one class I feel might be beneficial to me. The rest are just junk to fill up my schedule. And not that they are easy classes, they aren't. But they sure are junk. They are complete crap. The teacher has no idea what they are talking about and it is a total waste of my time. I hate being taught by someone who you know is dumber than you in certain areas. That should never be a teacher. Go back to college or something because I don't want to waste my time listening to your babble. Like you know anything. You don't. I could easily learn more by just reading the book without ever having to see your face or hear your pointless voice. I am counting down the days until I am out of here. I can't wait. And it's not even like that. I just want to feel like I'm not wasting my time.

I want to go with you. This place is ridiculous.

:: 2005 8 November :: 8.37am

i am so happy. my GPA has gone up a lot and also H hasn't even changed my fricken grade yet so things will be even better. i got an A on my last chemistry test and yeah well that makes me super happy. i hate school but i'm not sucking at it.
score.

oh and last night was so fun and great. LOOOOOVE YOU

1 comment | light my fire

:: 2005 8 November :: 8.31am

I decided I'm going to do everything in my power. I talked to Jalyn and she's right. I need to do what I need to do. I don't think I'll regret it.

I hate being here. I want to be with you.

scholarships....?

1 comment | light my fire

:: 2005 7 November :: 1.54pm

just a little word to the unwise!!!

shut up!

because you obviously don't know anything. jerk.

lynds4090

:: 2005 5 November :: 4.05pm

wow... last night was amazing.

:: 2005 4 November :: 4.04pm

anything else that can make me feel more miserable? come on fucking bring it you are so stupid seriously like i wish i could wish you away and you definetely. i dont kno w

:: 2005 4 November :: 3.58pm

i have had the worst day ever god i've been bawling my eyes out for an hour now and earlier today too god fucking stupid ass shit and i am not going to school anymore i fucking refuse. it is so pointless and stupid. i haven't had this bad of a day since roman and i broke up for 4 days in the summer.

seriously i've never felt so completely miserable and FUCKING useless. there's fuckign nothing anymore and if a cliff suddenly appeared in cedar i'd be the first one jumping off it
i fucking can't take it anymore

fucking use some fucking common senese

and i haTEHALEK J HAWELKTJLKAWEJTLK J HATEE HATEH AH AETHEHAHATE you . god dammita

:: 2005 4 November :: 10.07am

today is such a bad day. why'd i ever believe i could be any better than what i am.

faslkdfj that

:: 2005 4 November :: 7.01am

i'm sooooo scared

bet you'd never guess what i'm scared about.

bleedingsun

:: 2005 3 November :: 10.53pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday

Illumination

Want to hear a crazy story?

I was at school for over 13 hours today.
The end.

Working in the auditorium is so much fun. Whether it's play practice or doing lights and stuff, it's awesome. I'm definitely working the tech crew during the musical, and any other times I'm able to. I might like it enough to want to go to college for it.

I'm so tired..goodnight.

:: 2005 3 November :: 10.27pm

TEN YEARS AGO I... seven and chubby and even more annoying then i am now.

FIVE YEARS AGO I WAS: 12... and finally getting not as fat and into stuff......yeah

ONE YEAR AGO I WAS: with roman...he had moved out for us so we could see each other more.

YESTERDAY I WAS: baby sitting and then went to bed at 7:30

FIVE SNACKS I ENJOY:
1. ice cream
2. chocolate
3. animal crackers
4. umm
5. oreos

FIVE SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO:

1. ben folds the luckiest
2. third eye blind motorcycle drive by
3. kelly clarkson anytime
4. you know
5. yeah that one

FIVE THINGS I WOULD DO WITH 100 MILLION DOLLARS:

1. be SO much less worried about my future
2. buy a nice house
3. marry
4. give my kids wonderful lives
5. not go to work probably

FIVE BAD HABITS:

1. worrying
2. asking too many questions apparently
3. being easily angered or annoyed
4. swearing
5. procrastinating

FIVE BIGGEST JOYS:

1. roman
2. jess
3. sleep
4. feeling safe
5.feeling like i look good/fine

FIVE FAVORITE TOYS:

1. piano?
2.
3.
4.
5.

FIVE PLACES I WOULD RUN AWAY TO:

1. ROMAN

FIVE THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR:

1. 80's shit
2. leggings
3. i udno

TEN FAVORITE TV SHOWS:

1. family guy?
2.
3. home movies?
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

FIVE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS I WOULD DATE:

1. i really dont watch tv so i duno
2.
3.
4.
5.

FIVE PET PEEVES:

1.MEAN people
2. bad grammer
3. when i must listen or follow orders or be taught by people are dumber than myself.
4. a COLLEGE BOY ...eta;fksdj
5. when people trreat their waitress i.e. me , like crap

fucekrs roni

:: 2005 3 November :: 10.11pm
:: Mood: tiredish.

mmmmrrrrehhhhhhhh
baby doesn't get out of work until 2 which means i am sitting here doing nothing.

i finally joined the world and got a cell phone. hoooooooray~!

i got to work today yay so i got some money. i kept making good tips i was so happy.
i think i did really good on my chem test yesterday which makes me so happy.

i love roman and jess and thats about it frankly.

i couldn't stop thinking about your stupid ass today. not your butt. but you. because you are a butt and i dont know why you kept popping in my head but get out you stupid stupid nasty disgusting girl. go away.

i'm watching south park.
andndndnndndnd i'm finally seeing roman on saturday

Will anyone watch Elvis, my kitty, over Christmas break? Please. he needs a babysitter.

1 comment | light my fire

brokenmentality

:: 2005 2 November :: 9.30am

its been a semi-long while.

halloween was just a normal day for us. we figured we're to old to go trick or treating, and we didnt have my sister so its not like we had any reason to go. instead we went to the outback, and had one of those perfect nights that we have so often. PLUS we got some new games from toys R us.... and that was wonderful.

i havent really been up to much lately. just work, wizard, and keegan. oh and throw failing algebra in there too. but its all good..

i think im begining to slip away from woohu.... i dont really have much to update anymore. it seems so much easier to update when im depressed and upset, like i take the good times and the good days for granted. i dont know... maybe its time people actually had to start getting to know me instead of reading about me in my journal.

yeah.. that sounds like a good idea.