To be, or not to be,--that is the question:-- Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?--To die,--to sleep,-- No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to,--'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die,--to sleep;-- To sleep! perchance to dream:--ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of despis'd love, the law's delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death,-- The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn No traveller returns,--puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought; And enterprises of great pith and moment, With this regard, their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action.--Soft you now! The fair Ophelia!--Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remember'd."

 

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jburt1

:: 2005 18 August :: 3.35am
:: Music: taking back sunday "great romances of the 20th century"

string theory
I've been reading Discover Magazine, where I have "discovered" that string theory is both beautiful and frightening. The basic premise of string theory says that EVERYTHING in the universe is connected through a pattern of strings. If you've seen the movie I Heart Hucklebees, you should be familiar with the blanket analogy. The idea of this is kind of comforting. If it is true, no one is ever alone. By me typing this, what kind of ripples am i making in string theory? Or what kind of affect is it having on the other dimensions? Yes, scientists believe there could be a possible 9 dimensions. Here's where the scary part comes in. To test their theories, scientists are building a Large Hadron Excellerator in Geneva (or the French-Swiss border). The Excellerator is 17 miles in diameter and it speeds up particles to 99.999% the speed of light. If they can do that, the possibilities of Star Trek must not be far off (granted, I doubt humans will ever reach the speed of light in our lifetime, but certainly in the next 500 years - even half the speed of light would make a difference in galactic space travel). But back to the Excellerator. What scientists will do is take particles, speed them up, and crash them. The result should be super particles, known as sparticles, and possibly very miniture black holes (that's not very comforting - although they say the black holes will be too small to, say, suck up the earth). This has never been achieved before. If you've read Angles & Demons by Tom Brown you should be semi-familiar with this idea. What scares me the most is that scientists are teetering right on the edge of the unkown. True, I believe science is a beneficial thing, but when do we stop? Do we stop? Or do we keep going until we have the answers to absolutely everything, including God? The Excellerator will be turned on sometime in 2007. I hope that it goes off without a hitch, but a pray to God that the men behind it know what they are doing and don't, uh, ...cause the end of the world.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 17 August :: 3.14pm

hah! izzy called.. finally. anyways yeah. i got all giggly. not when i was on the phone with him... afterwards. but it's sad... because i have mike now... and izzy is the only guy i took any interest in since mike left. lol.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 16 August :: 7.05pm

for laughs
+++++ FACTS ABOUT SEX+++++

1) 94% of men lie about their penis size.
According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of
men use extra large condoms.

2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect
(no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the
truth).

3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even
though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.

4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can
make your penis grow but time (most men reach
the end of their growth by the early 20's)

5) There is no correlation between penis size and
shoe size, hand size, or nose size.

6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically
called "prostatic congestion."

7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.(Mr. Evans is a proud sponser)

+Some stuff on the ladies+
------------------------------

1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider
themselves "attractive" (20% of British women
do).
43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say
they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the
term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking",
and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of
women say they are "sexy".

2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong
size bra.
3) 60% of women have had breast implants.
4) 75% of women dont like oral sex
5) 95% of women shave their privates.

+Both+
--------------------------------
1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and
women.

2) 70% of highschoolers have had sex before
they
have graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior
prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage.

3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1
month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.

+5 Reasons Why Sex is Good+
---------------------------------------------
1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150
calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your
cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.

2) You won't get sick. According to research if
you
have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to
get sick.

3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense
of well-being. Women who have more sex were
clinically proven to be less depressed than women
who dont have sex.

4) Makes you look better- [ problem is ugly people
don`t get any ]. Sex releases hormones in your which make your skin and hair softer and
shinier and tone your physic.

5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies
prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who
had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate
as those who did not indulge themselves at least
once a month. It also makes you look younger. If
you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to
10 years younger than you really are.

Did You Know
----------------------------------------
1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up
to
running 75 miles!!!!

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jburt1

:: 2005 15 August :: 8.13pm

I have the bad aftertaste of frozen pizza in my throat.
There are a million and one things that I want to talk about, but I have neither the time nor the words to express them. With that being said, I accompanied my mom to Hackley's Neuroscience Center today, where she got a CAT-scan, an EEG, lab work, and got to speak with a nurse and a psychiatrist. My mom suffers from undiagnosed mental illness, so hopefully this will provide the family with answers to the questions we have simply learned to live with. In truth, I don't know that it will change the way things are or even tell us what she has. I also had to answer questions from the nurse and social worker about my mom's condition. It seemed like they were under the impression that it was a memory issue, which it's not. My mom's memory is better than mine in fact. When I said it was a paranoia issue they just sort of responded: "Oh?" Nevertheless, I hope that whoever analyizes the EEG will be able to look at it and say "yes, the brain activity here indicates suspicious behaviour. She has ______. Give her _______." Of course the answers are never that certain. Or easy. Part of me is concerned for my mom's well being. I mean, what kind of life is that, if there is constantly an internal struggle going on in your head between reality and fantasy? The other part of me wants answers for my sake and for my sister's sake. What kind of lives will we lead if we "inherit" whatever it is that my mom has? I certainly would not be able to keep a job very well, which would make it hard to raise a family sucessfully. If we know what she has, we will know what to look out for, what treatments may be available. Without that, it feels kind of like a time bomb waiting to go off. I feel this pressure like I have to accomplish a lot and make my fortune before I'm 40 because after that everything is just going to go downhill. It scares me because it makes me paranoid that I'm paranoid, or have the potential to be. It's like if you're colorblind, you're not going to know you're colorblind until a doctor tells you. Of course there is a very large chance, probably about 90%, that I am a completely normal messed up human being and will contine to be so until my old, old age (no one else in my mom's family suffers from the same conditions, aside from extreme anxiety). I wish the answers to life were easier, but they're not.

In addition to all of this, I've been feeling extremely pessimistic lately, feeling pissed off and judgemental toward people I don't even know. It's terrible. That's another thing. I hide all my emotions behind this careless facade, being careful not to reveal anything. The only problem, besides the obvious bottling of emotions, is when I try to express geniune emotions of excitement, enthusiuasm, joy, they fail me. My motto lately has been "be a Christian." Somewhere along the lines I've stopped doing simple things like saying "God Bless you" and holding doors for strangers and doing random good deeds and praying. Church here is a joke for me. I get absolutely nothing out of it. Yet, I am anchored to the Catholic church because of my upbringing and associations. I won't lie: as much as I get nothing out of it, I think Catholicism is better than your religion. All of the elaborate traditions, carefully constructed prayers, and meticulous pieces of doctrine, conjoined with the empty, half-assed words said by thousands of fallen Catholics like me each week is somehow better. Yes, I do not see the logic in that either. But I shouldn't say it's Catholicism that isn't working for me as much as it is the church in Muskegon. I cannot wait to go back to Loyola and be at the very first 10:00pm student mass of the year. Even if my faith is lacking, seeing all those other young faces there is encouraging, to say the least.

As much as I want that picture perfect life with the happy ending like in the movies, this is real life. I am doomed to exist in this mediocre shell, dwelling on problems like these until I find the strength to either end it or rise up and face these and many more challenges.

Now I only have 999,999 things left to talk about.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 15 August :: 3.44pm
:: Music: The Postal Service-- Such Great Heights

i just cleaned the kitchen and was drinking while i did it... i don't know why. i don't even enjoy alcohol anymore... but there was something relaxing in the thought. like i am a goddamn 50's house wife or something, ah fuck it. i am falling apart. i miss him to fucking much today.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 15 August :: 1.34pm

I love this boy
i love him i love him i love him. not in a physical, highschool sense, like i actually enjoy spending time with him, and talking about him. it is all about him. i can't wait to see him, and fall asleep next to him.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 14 August :: 8.54pm

hi, so here's the deal... on Monday August 22 i need to drive to Kenosha, WI... and i was wondering if anyone would like to go on this day trip with me, because i have to buy my books and i am a lonely puppy...

other than that my head has hurt all day. and i <3 mike... sorta.

3 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?


joslyn_julia

:: 2005 13 August :: 10.17pm
:: Music: The Postal Service-- Such Great Heights

so this is me wanting to cry because i just saw a picture of him and i am thinking of everything he said to me this morning and how much i wish that i was in his arms right now. and how much i know that i don't ever want to lose him, but also knowing that i hopefully never will.
then hoping that he doesn't see this, because i know he read about everything else on here last night, and he knows how i feel. but it is more of a feeling that i am afraid of. Anyways, i know that when i see him at thanksgiving i am going to hold him so close and kiss him and even if he starts to undress me right there in front of the baggage claim, i will be the fucking happiest person alive; just because i am with him. *sigh*

now to sweet dreams and hopefully a very restfull sleep because i am modeling tomorrow.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 13 August :: 10.12pm





Your Love Style is Eros









For you, love is all about the passion!

And chances are, you're currently in love.

You have a strong physical response to love...

And you are great at committing

(As long as the person makes your toes curl!)




-----------------------
so true.... haha. and he knows, which is relaxing but still unnerving. yay for my mikey... yay for knowing you have someone's bed to fall into on vacation. and yay for his hot body... grrr

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 12 August :: 7.28pm

things i find amusing....
1. me refering to mike as my boyfriend for lack of a better term
2. mike asking me to tell him when other people hit on me and not give me a reason
3. taber asking for sex and me telling mike, thus causing #2.

3 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?


unbleachedblond

:: 2005 10 August :: 2.59pm

well summer is almost over. i have about a week and a half left at michigan's adventures. my tonsils come out next tuesday. and it's summer. what could possibly be better?

i decided that im gunna try to get a job at gerber's...spanky's isnt cutting it.

i have nothing really to say so i'll catch ya all later.

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jburt1

:: 2005 7 August :: 1.42am
:: Music: radiohead

i feel kinda lonely, but I guess spending the entire day at home can do that to someone. I could have gone to a party at george's tonight, but I probably would have felt even lonlier there. That, and I had history homework to do. I go back to school in 16 days 12 hours and 16 minutes. I think that will help. I hope. I think I want to minor in theater. I want to do something fun. I miss you, chicago...my home, sweet, home. I talked to andre tonight for the first time since he left. It sounds like he's doing well down there. I am lacking energy. I will try to go for a run tomorrow. Or a bike ride, but I got history still to do. And I want to make my dad and mom take me and my sister to see Charlie & the choc. factory on IMAX. I am going to read, eat a cookie, and go to bed..unless I find something less worthwhile. I am dyslexic, I swear. And perhaps a bad speller. With a slight degree of ADD. No, not really, but dyslexic, yes. Math = fun. Numbers = hell. Oh what a world we live in.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 7 August :: 12.55am

the concert was awesome. certain things kept making me think of mike. i am really fucking tired. but i have to wait for my bedding to dry. blah.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 6 August :: 1.35pm

so as you can see, i changed my picture to mike. i hate the pic, but i don't have any other small ones that have just him. ah well, BFS tonight in like less than 4 hours we go to lizzy's and i am totally going to go and clean. i <3 you, boy.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 5 August :: 11.05pm

i totally got my nose pierced! w00t!

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