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My loveletter to nobody..

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xjayk

:: 2006 17 January :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Flyleaf so I thought

The new year has finally arived. I find myself every year hoping and praying for a new more exciting all around better year.

It never really turns out all that great.
Last year I went through many growing experiences. Losing a best-friend, and gaining another, fueds that I know will never fade away with time after all how could I ever learn to trust someone that points the trigger at me any time anything goes wrong? I'm not trying to come off as pesimistic because I do have alot to be thankful for. The middle of last year Thaddeus came into my life and things between us are fine. Of course we have our tiffs like any other couple but we seem to resolve them quickly. Lyndsey and I keep in touch as often as humanly possible, though it isn't often I get to see her at least I make an effort.
In better news Thaddeus gave me Adobe the other day and I've made a few peices of my little girl Abby and another of my little sister, then of course Thad and I. They're alright for my first two days with it, at least I can say I'm proud of my work and not need the support of others telling me how beautiful it is or how hiddeous it came out to be. I am more than content with my work and I hope it will stay that way.

hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


Steffie-x-schaukelt

:: 2005 13 July :: 3.09am
:: Mood: bouncy

dear woohu,

don't think I forgot about you... 'cause I havent. I'm just 11 years old and it's summer - i can't be spending all my time with you.

I still love you.
-stef

2 sighs | hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


xJayk

:: 2005 20 June :: 2.06pm
:: Music: Powerman 5000-Free


It has been quite a busy summer, as you can see I haven't been online all that often. The summer started out with the usual lounging around, I talked to a few friends on the phone, yes sounds like the best first day off ever huh? Then I hung out with Jesus, after that Hillary, then Lyndsey and so on and so forth. Went to Golgotha like I do every week. It is to bad I didn't get to say goodbye to Stacie before she took off to Texas, eh I'll see her before summer ends.
It is hard to believe I only have one more year with most of my friends until they graduate and move on to collage and start a more productive life..well at least the ones that want to make something of themselves. It is going to be quite odd not having my bestfriends there to help me like they promised to do. I know I'll see some of them after graduation but some are going pretty far away for collage. Who knows what the future may bring.
Well back to my summer, Hillary came over and we took many good pictures at the cemetary in Allegan the Historic district, if anyone would like to see them just ask I am quite proud of them myself.
We also took a few at my grandmothers in her upstairs rooms, I found a rocking horse..I had to get many pictures of Hillary on it. Those made my day. :)
I took care of my grandfather and grandmother since my Papa Noam had a stroke, to bad Aunt Peggy had to be there. When I told them that they knew where I was and all they had to do was holler at me if they needed anything I got no responce so I trudged up the stairs until I heard Peggy shout " YOU CAN JUMP OUT THE WINDOW" that old hagg. She didn't do anything I really don't understand why she was there in the first place. She was probably lonely, I think I'd be lonely too if I scared all my friends and family off.
Well that is basicly it. I hope you all are having just a supper time off! *thumbs up* Well I'm off to watch The Lost Boys "Your dead Meat!"

3 sighs | hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


xjayk

:: 2005 2 June :: 7.47pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Mudvayne: Happy

Well I guess it has been an okay day.
When I got out of school I got a ride from my aunt to take me downtown and I went to the skate park where I met up with Shain and unexpectedly Durk.


Right now I am getting on a project for someone who's coming here in 31 days. Yes I am very excited! I've been working on this for awhile now and Hillary is getting in on it, so 2 perfectionists= great results. I can't wait to see how it turns out. Well thats all for now, I don't want to spill the beans.




1 sigh | hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


xJayk

:: 2005 26 May :: 8.49pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: In Flames

I miss Her
God is a sick joke parents tell their children to comfort them so they have something to believe in, just like Santa and The Easter Bunny.
If there was a god my mother wouldn't be living in poverty and we wouldn't have a terrible illness passed to a woman whom devoted her life to her children. She's gone to work deathly ill to keep food on the table. Her eldest daughter wouldn't have to give her shots and hook her up to her IV at the end of the day. She has always told me I should take up drama. I guess she realizes that I am an constant actor. " No everythings going to be okay" and " I'll buy the school clothes and pay for drivers ed, don't worry about it". It may not seem like much but emptying out your collage fund to put clothes on your brother and sister including funds for Drivers ed all add up quickly, exspecially without a job.Everything went from great to well, not so great. I guess thats what you get when you do not appreciate what you have when you have it.
Tonight I think I'll make a wish on a star asking for my mom back..I miss her.








I wish I could wake from this
nightmare
and everything will be alright again...

2 sighs | hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


xJayk

:: 2005 21 May :: 4.55pm

Well I havent been online lately because I've been in the process of moving. Hillary came on Friday to help on Saterday with the moving sale but that wasn't to successful. I must be going..*moves swing set*

hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


xJayk

:: 2005 19 May :: 9.35pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Skinny Puppy

I was looking back around..I would say 11 or 12 years back when I was in South Carlina to visit family. We went to a water park when I made friends with a little girl with cornrolls in her hair we devised a sceam to transfer all the water to one side of the pool. Working for around 30 minutes we stepped aside saying "I think we're doing really good" Soon enough her dad came and started to yell at her for hanging out with a white girl. Shows how much he knows I'm black. Thats right I'm black.
Later I was thinking about when Hillary was trying to make eggs and told me she would burn the house down if I wasn't on the phone with her. The eggs were made sucsessfully and no burning was nesesary. Well I really have nothing to say other than Jesus your an asswhole and since you made a mark on me I'm going to make one on you! I will have my revenge!

hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


xJayk

:: 2005 10 May :: 11.03pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: In Flames

Every single day I walk home, a few "gangstas" wait til I pass them to start talking about me, and yes it is quite obvious.
If you really want to call me a gothic whore go ahead, but say it to my face and give me reason. I don't understand, you know nothing about me yet you continue to harass. If you are waiting for a complete negative reaction from me your not going to get one. I will not stoop to your level.
I'm sure if I were a whore I'd have more than a couple gangstas telling me that. I'm sure some of my friends would tell me if I was a slut, whore, gothic, hideous,bitch ect..
Thanks for your input but I really think I'm doing fine without the extra comments on my way home from little nasty wanna be gang bangers who sag thier pants below thier ass to show off thier new boxers. Is that enough of a reaction for you?

1 sigh | hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


xJayk

:: 2005 9 May :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: enraged
:: Music: CKY

Don't you hate it when people put thier nose in where its not wanted?
I love having friends over I really do. I love to introduce them to my other friends so we could all hang out and have some good fun. To bad that doesn't happen much. When ever I do have one certain friend over every one likes to put thier two cents in which isn't worth all that much. If you believe that she/he feels something or if you think they do something but your not quite sure, don't you think you'd be logical and either 1 go to thier best friend that lives near to you, or 2 ask them yourself? Now come on I know we've all done it but when you don't know someone or how they are I believe your making a big mistake on your part on judging. Well there are few exseptions but this goes out to most of you back stabbing bastards!

3 sighs | hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..


xjayk

:: 2005 8 May :: 2.44pm

This weekend was awesome.
Friday: Hillary and I went to the fireworks three hours early to find some people worthy enough to be in our presence. We ran into Jesus and we basicly hung out with him all night and ate cotton candy and watched the awesome fireworks, after that it began to rain so we danced. Then Hillary Jesus and I walked down to Kings Cove and got juice and..bad candy. My dad brought Jesus home later and Hill kept me up all night.
Saturday: Got up late, went to Meijers to get my mother a mothers day gift, almost broke Hillarys nose, talked to Jesus, went to get some chinese, went downtown just to walk 5 miles back home, on the way we saw Jacob "doing the naughty" with a purple dinosaur in the playground at a very crouded park.

That was my fun filled weekend. I must go to Meijers again now...I have no clue why.

hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..

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