none
I have loads of things to do today and my only alone time is right now from 2 30 till 4 15. I have gymnastics from 4 30 till 5 30 then I have cheerleading from 5 30 till 6 30 then I have band from 6 30 to 8 30! Man, I think I am going to skip cheerleading so that I can have supper. That is all.
Later
~fraggle~

Clean finally~*
I finally cleaned the whole upstairs. It took me three days basically. I got to see all of my old stuff... It was kind of like a fall cleaning. I re-arranged my bed to give me a different vibe. I have been so depressed lately I thought a little cleaning and change would do me some good. Well it did. I feel very content now. I like it. Anyways, I am not sure I am in the mood to go through with the whole homecoming thing. This whole week is suppose to be full of fun and laughter. Probably not for me though seens how I got fucking ditch by two dumb ass guys. That were very attractive, but one not so nice. The other at least told me the truth instead of lying. Yeah, so again I am giving up on guys.
Later
~fraggle~

This is a day of great observation...
well... I saw the clouds today as I was driving to Grand Rapids and I noticed how closly artists could paint clouds. Like it was hard to tell the difference between what was real and what was fake. the clouds look the same in the painting as they did in the sky. which gave me this illusion that I was in my own painting. which kind of makes me happy in some way.
Later
~fraggle~

It's a gloomy day, christopher Robin
Another day in the run of my lonelyness. For once in my life though I got a compliment. It made me take a second look at myself. Maybe... I don't know. Lance seems to have no interest in me still... Tyler is just there. Hot but non responsive to my words or actions, like every other person I care about. My father seems to think he is an endless money pit. Stays online for hours at a time but then yells at me for getting on when I get home from school to write in here. My mother is getting mad at him... and so am I. My mom isn't any better though, she goes online and buys 30 dollar books from an auther called dean koontz. What's so great about that? And then they wonder why they don't have enough money to pay all of the bills. My dad's new explorer just arrived. He says I'll like it. I don't. I know what it was bought with. Money we don't have. Right now my dad has bought 5 guitars online in the past week. That's a guitar a day. I just want to know why he thinks he can spend what he doesn't have. I wish I could.
Later
~fraggle~

(none)
Hello, I have a game tonight and I do not want to go. I really don't know what is going on with my life right now. I was sitting in my parents car on the way to my brother's house and the thought came to my mind, is this all that I will ever do with my life? try to find out who I am? If so it is a waste... Have I found out who I am? I don't know and I don't believe that any of us will ever find out. It is useless... we are wasting our years on earth trying to find out who we are just to go and die. I just don't see the point in it or anything else at that matter. Of course I also have becoming the biggest pessimist in the whole school in the past week. My life keeps going downhill... shouldn't there be a point where it starts to go up?
later,
~fraggle~

Death?
Well, I think today is the day to start getting into this. I recently found out that this guy I asked to homecoming that said no because he didn't want to go is now going with one of the "perfect" girls... You know pretty, skinny, funny, smart. Everything that I am not and will never be. I want to give up on everything... including my life. It seems pointless to feel this way all the time, to put on a show everytime you are around someone. Not that it was just that one person to make me feel this way... It has acumulated over the years. I never wanted to be alone, but then I got so used to it I know that that is the way it is going to be.Just like how uncomfortable I get when someone gives me a comment. I don't like it. I would rather have someone say something mean to me than nice. I dont know what to say or do. All the songs I listen to seem to be about being with someone. I know that that will never be me. There are more woman than men in this world and more than likely I will be one of the woman that doesn't have a man. I just don't know what to do with my life. I was thinking last night that maybe I should just stay in my bed all day. I hate the way that guys treat me. Am I a nice person? Isn't that all that I should be judged on? O-well I may never know...
Later,
~Fraggle~

first timer
Well, this is my first journal entry and I feel like a dumb ass because I am talking to myself yet talking to other people... I suppose I will get used to it and eventually open up. Until then...
Later,
~FragglE~