jedibumblebee
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2002 6 February :: 9.44pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Cinderella- A Lovely Night
you're afraid he'll hear the way your heart is beating......
ten minutes ago
i saw you
i looked up when you came through the door
my head started reeling
you gave me the feeling
the room had no ceiling or floor
thats such a pretty song. i am a bit tired today. but play practice has been so fun. it is fun to try to steal all the scenes. it's been a great time, everyone's actually getting along a lot better than most everyone thought we would. i'm getting pretty pumped, actually!
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 5 February :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: chipper
good times, good times.... I need to talk to my people.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 5 February :: 6.53am
:: Mood: happy
I just wanted to put in here that I had a wonderful, fabulous, beautiful dream last night, so every time I go to read my journal I will be reminded of my wonderful beautiful dream. It was very nice.
Also, mommy got me low acid orange juice! Today will certainly be a good day.
1 Fey |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 3 February :: 9.51pm
:: Mood: determined
:: Music: Caviar- Tangerine Speedo
Cause your mouth's made an offer that the body cannot veto...
Choir stuff went quite well...girls got a 2, boys got a 1...i had a lot of fun just chilling with choir type people, it was all good...
So Betty and I never went "clubbing" like we originally planned. Instead we went to Menards and had hott guys pick out linoleum for us...yeah, so i work there....so what? We needed to find something to cover the skate rental table at Lazer Skate...we're super-employees. Then we went to Wal-mart--some night on the town...we bought car mats for betty's beast of a car, and paper-punchers, because paper punchers are cool. THEN we went to the Olive Garden and harassed our semi-cute waiter to no end about how do you eat mussells in the shell? how are they, like, attached to the shell? how do you get them out? excuse me good sir, but does your calamari have eyeballs? or tentacles? you get the idea... but he got tired of us and left us and didnt come to refill our sodas....you just can't finish chocolate cake when you have nothing to wash it down with...you can tell betty is my skinny friend because whenever we go out to eat we eat lots of food, and mostly desserts. as for our rude not-so-cute waiter, no tip for you! well, not much of one. we were angry.
Work has issues, but I will get into that in a later "episode" of Stef Stuff.
I went to both jobs today...not to mention went to crazy church with Eliz in the morning and made a fool out of myself...argrgh!
I think I've finally decided who is a safe bet for swirl... yeah, i know, all my rejected dates read my journal, but what i said to all of you was honestly the truth...this person is...simple. and not connected to any of the past...hey dani and andy...it's not who you think it is!! hahahhaha
1 Fey |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 1 February :: 11.30am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Poe- Hey Pretty
sometimes dropping down to 50 mph, only to immedialy gun it back up to 90 again...fast, slow, fast, fast, slow...
Today is already setting up to be a weird day, only building upon the oddness that began yesterday.
For starters, premonitions. When you know that something is going to happen, and can't do anything about it. Not that it's anything bad...not that it's anything fantabulously great either, but hey...
And then there's snow....how many years has it been since we've had two snow days in a row? Normally I'd be thrilled....and I won't deny that it made this week a lot easier...but it's prohibiting me from going to work, and finishing my physics (book's at school...grr), pulling together my english, also, choir ensemble stuff is tommorrow...we need practice, that now we won't be able to get, plus all my music is at school.. and I had a lot of work to do with Mrs. Hansen on senior interviews, which i had planned on doing today, which was really the only day I could do it...and I needed to talk to PEOPLE about STUFF today...and turn in some forms for recommendations for scholarships and apps...ooh thats right, more big news!
I CAN STILL APPLY TO CORNELL! They sent me a letter in the mail saying that they were still looking for my recommendation letters and ACT'S...which I have until Feb 15th to get in...it's all done, I just didn't send it because I was under the impression that I was too late. I have nothing left to hold me back, to keep me from going, like I thought I did before. That school is my dream...I would give anything to go. If I get in...goodbye Western. This is the only thing that could change the plans I've made.
I really hate rude people. Especially rude people who don't have the right to be. And people who think they can control you with only a few little words. The spell is wearing off.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 31 January :: 3.57pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Don Henley- All She Wants To Do Is Dance
She wants to party...she wants to get down...all she wants to do is...all she wants to do is dance...
I just finished watching Coyote Ugly...I love that movie, regardless of how unbelievable it is, or pointless...
No school today, I'm getting antsy...
I called into work today because mom didn't want me to drive with the roads the way they are...we wouldv'e been dead anyway, so I don't think anyone cared.
So now I'm just chillin'...sittin here on my butt wanting to go out to Blockbuster for some more plactic-packaged entertainment but too lazy to put a coat on...hmmm
Hey...my subject has a double meaning! You know how most people take their friends out to big clubs on their birthdays? Well, I think I'm taking Betty to "Teen Night" at the Orbit Room...sortof as a joke, because it will be about a week before she's too old to go anymore...lol. We'll probably dress like hookers and throw ourselves around a bit...it's time for some good unclean fun for once. :) (i'm j/k...the place will be full of 13 year olds anyhow)..but it should be fun!
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 30 January :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Custom- Hey Mister
hey mister, how'd it get so bad? You raised her so well....It's not what you did...It's not what you didn't...
Well, I tried to get somewhere today. I took a few chances and got a little farther. Isn't that one of those ambitions in life, to take risks? I've never really cared enough to worry about it.
So....I tried to take a chance on something I **officially** decided yesterday...and I'm not sure if it's working but prospects look decent.
to the nameless...
closer...much closer, but i still internalize my anger and it will take a lot to take it away. happy birthday.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 29 January :: 9.57pm
:: Mood: sad
to the nameless, who i can bet is reading.
you still don't get it. I get "fuck you, why don't you call me, why don't you pity me in my sad sorry stupor".
You get my attention and devotion. I shut up and keep my problems to myself.
Before, I could tell you things. But now your life is that much worse than mine. And I have to feel sorry for every day that goes awry.
I'm the bad guy. I ruined all your dreams. And I won't even call you. But who left? Who brought his problems upon himself, and who just generally got screwed over because you didn't think??
I can't bring it up, because that's just me being mean... but you made your own decision, that didn't involve me.
So I made a decision. To try to help myself. To be a person on my own because I no longer can use you as my support. You left me here to fend for myself, and I am trying the hardest I can. I can sit here and cry, but you dont know. Instant messenger is a godsend.
I'm the bad guy...I gave up on what you thought we could prove. But it finally occured to me why I'm not the bad guy. Who broke who's heart first? I'm still here. I'm only trying to save myself because no one else will help.
2 FeyBebop |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 29 January :: 5.49pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Nine Inch Nails- Deep
Someday fades away...like a memory or a place that you'd rather be...somewhere out there...anywhere...I don't care...get me out of here....
there's so many things that i should do...but i won't...
i hate being drawn. when something pulls you in. i just can't stand the loss of control.
and i dont realize what i'm doing til after i've done it. my antics today...(remember the "sparkle", dani?) were a little drastic...spastic... i dont need to be so desperate.
and it makes me wonder...when i jump into the arms of someone...and they won't hold me up maybe it's because no one else would either. jinx. damn.
i really wish it could turn. i'd really like to know what it feels like. i hate being left out left out left out............
if i could be bolder...maybe just older and be out of here.
i'm wasting too much of my time on it.
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 28 January :: 5.02pm
:: Music: Anti-Flag- Indie Sucks, Hardline Sucks, Emo Sucks, YOU SUCK!
but what about punk rock? WHAT ABOUT PUNK ROCK??? HAHAHAHA....
Songs That Everyone Should Download (that you've probably never heard of):
Apocalypse Hoboken- Little Fingers
Artificial Joy Club- Sick and Beautiful
Atom and His Package- Punk Rock Academy
Bigwig- Smile
Bouncing Souls- I Know What Boys Like
Cake- Rock and Roll Lifestyle
Chemical Brothers- Leave Home
Counting Crows- Kid Things
Deftones- Root (demo version!)
Descendants- Silly Girl
Dropkick Murphys- Never Alone
Folk Implosion- Natural One
Goldfinger- Just Like Heaven (cover)
Green Day- Suffocate
The Hippos- Pollution
International Noise Conspiracy- Only Lovers Left Alive
Less Than Jake- Blue Moon
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes- anything...try Hats Off To Larry or The Rainbow Connection
MxPx- Blue Moon (i like that song!)
NerfHerder- Don't Hate Me (Because I'm Beautiful), Sorry, Kiss Me Deadly, High School
NOFX- Please Play This Song On The Radio, We Threw Gasoline..., Clams Have Feelings Too (Actually They Don't), What's The Matter With Parents Today?
Planet Smashers- All Men Fear Women
Queers- Get A Life and Live It Loser, Punk Rock Girls
Soul Coughing and Weezer- American Girls
Suicide Machines- I Never Promised You A Rose Garden
Superdrag- Who Sucked Out The Feeling?
Unwritten Law- Cailin
The Urge- Too Much Stereo
Yeah, thats a bit of it...scrolling through my mp3's and deciding what YOU need to be cool. Or just listen to a few and you can understand a bit more of me...if you'd ever want to..
Gimme some responses, tell me what you think.
3 FeyBebop |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 27 January :: 2.08pm
Alright, I fought with it and tried to get a color combination i liked...and failed..
nothing suits me. I need stuff thats so bright that it hurts your eyes but then no one would want to read it...
Now I need another picture that matches my colors..grr..
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 26 January :: 10.44am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Live- Simple Creed
Angry at who? Me? You better back up, fool....
Yay! Good things happen when you wish and wait. Patience has paid off, and the reason I tried to quit MY job has now decided to quit HER job...I'm so happy! And we got along last night just fine without her... Unless she has another revelation message from god or whatever and decides to come back... she has done that before. but this time I guess i seriously made her mad...thru no fault of my own, mind you! I was just doing my job...and now I can continue doing it in peace, without being threatned every time I go into work.
On a less positive note, I am rather ill. Which is unpleasant...but i'll be over it soon enough. Also, the swirl date thing is still kindof up in the air.
1 Fey |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 24 January :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Cinderella- The Stepsister's Lament
Why can't a fellow (hey, maybe a director?) ever once prefer a girl who's merely me?
Hey, I didn't get the lead..but that's ok. I guess it would have been nice to have a true, solid lead once in my life, but I do like the part I have... one of the "unpleasent" stepsisters. I'm the grouchy one. It'll be an adventure. And I sing quite a bit more than I have in the past. The songs are cool (and in my range! yay!) and i'm the traditional comic relief.
So it's cool. Regardless of how many people tell me that I SHOULD be upset. Because I'm not. I'm quite convinced that the director has method to her madness. :)
My foot still hurts though!
1 Fey |
Edward
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jedibumblebee
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2002 23 January :: 9.38pm
:: Mood: nauseated
:: Music: Dave Navarro- Hungry
Please leave me here in the empty world...
Jeez, I am in sooo much pain right now. Like, the physical kind..y'know?
Some girl in the hallway got pushed by her friend and ran into me...more specifically my foot.
Not that my feet don't have enough problems already...she jammed my foot back and now my toenail is broken (it has a big crack right though the middle) and it got pushed much farther back into my foot than it was ever meant to be. It is quite painful and making me miserable...I could hardly walk thru 6th hour and most of callbacks....yah i made callbacks...
Another beef I have...that darned cast list gets posted at 7:20am tommorrow, but I won't get to school to see it until 10:30ish... AARRGGH!
1 Fey |
Edward
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