liz
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2012 22 May :: 7.04pm
I remember the day he became my friend. For years I would see him at parties and he would call me Justin's sister. That night at the Sparta Beer Tent he spilled his beer down the front of my shirt and I said Bitch if you're going to spill your beer on me you'd best learn my name. Years of random hanging out and bdubs trips. Then I left Andy Clute and he became a person who I could call to cry to. A friend whom I could depend on for anything. A random Stony cruise (with me driving because he always scared the shit out of me behind the wheel). The only person who I would allow to fuck with my radio knowing that he would inevitabley turn to my across the universe soundtrack because it was the only thing we agreed on. I will miss you Andy. If I have said it once I have said it a million times. You will always be my favorite Andy.
3 People gave me |
lovin'
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jes
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2012 13 March :: 7.12pm
I hate feeling like you've supported people though out their life and circumstances but when you face your own, they have no thoughts other than about themselves.
lovin'
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jes
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2012 6 March :: 9.29pm
:: Mood: crushed
My heart is aching for you!
"Daddy please don't look so sad,momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don't looks so sad and momma please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!"
lovin'
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eddy
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2012 3 March :: 1.23am
Holy shit, woohu. How ya been?!
Going through some friends' posts. Really wish woohu had a 'like' button, and also disappointed with myself for being that ingrained with facebook.
I feel like I had more to add here....perhaps not. I'm terrible with updates, even on facebook people post pointless little trivial updates sometimes every minute, and I can't seem to post one update to even sum up my week. But from what I hear people prefer that? Nah, people talk shit but they know they love the facebook. I think they shoulda kept the 'the'.
And now I'm just rambling because it's almost 3 am and I shouldn't be conscious right now. So I will stop.
Now.
Night. =]
4 People gave me |
lovin'
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jes
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2012 26 February :: 9.29am
:: Mood: annoyed
So insensitive. Feels like salt is being shoved into my wounds.
lovin'
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jes
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2012 24 February :: 8.56am
ughhhhhh shut up!
lovin'
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jes
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2012 23 February :: 5.06pm
It was confirmed today that we lost our baby. Today is a very sad and heart breaking day for Ryan and I. We heal/deal in entirely different ways, which is hard to make sure we're both feeling like we're "coping" and supporting one another, but we're getting through it as best as we know how.
I feel very alone, even though I know I'm not. I don't want to be around people, but yet, I hate feeling alone. I just for myself, to think about and deal with everything, need some worship music, ryan and landon, and time alone.
I really wish people would stop saying, "It's for the best", THE best would have been for me to have my baby, and just because they might not of been healthy doesn't mean I wanted him/her any less, because I STILL want my baby. I know people don't know what to say, and are only trying to help, but it just makes me feel worse. Vacation and leaving the country couldn't have come at any better of a time.
lovin'
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jes
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2012 22 February :: 10.58pm
Tomorrow we find out if God decided to answer our prayers, or if it's time to start healing and move on. I'm so back and forth on how I feel. Because I just don't know what's happened. So one minute I'm sad, and pissed off at the world. Then the next, I'm hopeful, praying, even moments where all feels "normal" again, and then they quickly pass. I just feel like this is all still a bad dream, that I just can't wake up from, it feels never ending! I just don't know how this could have happened, why did this happen, how am I EVER suppose to be ok with this? How will I ever make peace with the Lord giving and taking away?? How can I face other people??
lovin'
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liz
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2012 20 February :: 10.44pm
My car is seriously pissing me off. I leave in a week for training and the minute I replace the starter the frigging alternator goes out wtf Patti I thought we were good.
lovin'
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spud
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2012 5 January :: 12.26am
The lions lost by two fumbles and a touchdown.
And today I got a voicemail from a cemetary.
Coincidence?
I think not.
lovin'
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