godessalthena
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2018 15 October :: 9.40am
I just want to connect with you, but I can't find any words, and I don't know what to say.
I feel like every day I'm drifting further away.
"I'm slipping out of your hand while you'll stay put in mine"
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godessalthena
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2018 4 October :: 7.35pm
attempting to bottle things up better like everyone else
it's hard and makes people think there's something wrong with me
maybe eventually they will forget I was ever another way
friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 4 October :: 5.30am
bjorne is the most cuddly first thing in the morning it's the best
this morning he let me rub his head and ears and then cuddled with me. then Dad got him but it was just so sweet
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godessalthena
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2018 26 September :: 9.50am
training 30 people worth material I created myself.
so fucking nervous
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friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 20 September :: 7.34am
:: Mood: curious
who even reads this
I found this in a post from 2006. please please please if you read this fill it out, I'll reply and fill one out for you. no judgement
Two things you wonder about me
1.
2.
Three Things you like about me
1.
2.
3.
Two of my best features
1.
2.
Two things you don't like about me
1.
2.
Three words that describe me
1.
2.
3.
One question for me (ask away, i will answer honestly)
1.
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godessalthena
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2018 19 September :: 6.37am
I don't get sick very often, but I've some how caught a cold and I feel like death
balloon head sinus pressure head ache stuffy runny nose huge cough and mucus in my lungs
ugh some bring me soup & cuddles
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godessalthena
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2018 16 September :: 1.27am
reconnected with Juan's old roommates and it was even better than old times marli is going to be around all the time I effin love her been doing bruches with the new roommates and trying to step outside my comfort zone more new project at work training 80 CSRs I'm so effing excited went to the fair and ate the most amaZing burrito with the bestie everyone has these wonderful pets that love me and my own pets have been much more affectionate lately
things are feeling better, I'm glad the storm has passed and I feel like I'm finally thinking clearly again
working from home really helps in so many ways
friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 14 September :: 6.53am
why am I so jealous still of this dude
why can't I shake the feeling the songs are about him
how do I move past this? why am I so insecure?
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godessalthena
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2018 9 September :: 9.15pm
just leave
friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 9 September :: 9.28am
I just want to give up. I hate every beautiful day.
friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 5 September :: 7.51pm
:: Mood: adoring
when baby dog is really happy, she runs around completely nuts around the living room and then bolts away into the kitchen to get a drink and then bolts into the den
my mom squeels with glee every time she does it, and it's always the same adorable sound with a wonderful giggle after and it's just one of my absolute favorite things. it makes my heart sing.
friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 5 September :: 6.19am
I suck at comforting people
one day down of sober September and I have had no break from an uncomfortable unsettled feeling deep in my stomach, like I ate copious amounts of cheese.
I can do this.
friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 4 September :: 9.34pm
I'm really fucking sick and tired of being treated like I don't know shit.
I know a lot. I'm smart. I've had jobs in different areas and understand how almost all insurance works (besides life insurance, but that seems like the most straight forward insurance).
but go ahead,just treat me like I don't know anything. it's okay.
friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 29 August :: 2.12pm
you either are important or you aren't
you either matter to someone or you don't
I'm always in the "not" category
and it hurts, but trying harder just looks desperate, and I don't know how to do less than what I do. I'm just a non entity. I'm fading into nothing. I don't speak I don't care I just feel sad and lonely.
and I know it'll only get worse. I know I'll be the worst mom. I know I'll die in child birth. I know I'll have a miscarriage. I know I'm sterile.
why do I even exist
I am a meaningless creature on a meaningless planet in an infinite expanse of nothing.
how do I fix this?
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godessalthena
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2018 29 August :: 8.24am
why is it that I always manage to convince myself that my bf is gay and in love with another man?????
it happens every time. am I crazy? am I imagining it?
is it just my insecurities about not being a man? maybe I was just supposed to be a man. idk.
life is so confusing.
friend?
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godessalthena
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2018 26 August :: 12.52pm
this country is so fucking fucked.
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