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The Destroyer

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godessalthena

:: 2018 26 January :: 11.21pm

I wish I was anything but white

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godessalthena

:: 2018 26 January :: 9.47pm

Would we even really care cuz the world has ended?

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godessalthena

:: 2018 26 January :: 7.18am

What do you do when someone doesn't think people give them a chance when it's really them not giving anyone else a chance?

Idk. Life is way more challenging than I ever dreamed it would be.

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godessalthena

:: 2018 22 January :: 6.49pm

Big birthday plans for a special work friend

I'm kinda hoping she's kinda underwhelmed with the stuff and then when she comes back she's hella surprised!!

But I didn't want ta make her too sad that we "forgot" her birthday so I'm bringing french macarons and we got her a beautiful card and some flowers... Then on Wednesday she'll have 12 rainbow balloons 2 unicorn balloons and a desk covered in streamers and confetti!

I don't usually go too far out, but we always kinda forget her birthday when she always goes all out for our birthdays... I love her so much, and her family doesn't appreciate her like they should! So I want her to feel appreciated at least once this year!!

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alexithymia

:: 2018 20 January :: 8.17am

My favorite thing I've learned since finding my birth mother. My addiction to gummy bears started as my mums pregnancy cravings and apparently my adopted dad went to get her more in the wee hours of the morning the day I was born because apparently I was demanding them even then according to mum.


*Really this is just posted so I will remember this story*


godessalthena

:: 2018 10 January :: 7.31pm

Watching the land before time, not even 10 minutes in and I'm all ready bawling

Brings back a flood of memories... What would my life be like if all that stuff never happened to me... Who would I be without little foot?

The sense of loss is definable now, back then I resonated so strongly with this movie.. growing up way too fast, but never losing the kindness inside.

Now I'm a hedgehog, prickly with you get too close. I'm hard to hold and even more difficult to grab onto

Impossible to keep close...

I just wish I could go back and do it over again without everything else. I don't think I would be very different. Maybe I'd just be better.

friend?


godessalthena

:: 2018 10 January :: 6.47pm

feeling small and a million miles away

I just want to shrink until I cease to exist

The thickest dirt and the darkest mud
Deepest charcoal soot and dirt
Mix up the ashes until I disappear

No warrior no Amazon no savior
Just weak and pathetic
Minimalist imprints breathless walking

Leave me behind and forget
I am gone

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godessalthena

:: 2018 10 January :: 7.53am

I've been sleeping a lot lately, but not the nice restful kind, rather the kind where you just spin all night then wake up 2 hours early and can't get back to sleep.

I'm sad today. I just want to hide under a rock and pretend I don't exist. Hopefully I get an early out today.

My last check was $200 short, which hurt a little, but it's nice not having to worry about rent or a car payment. What are student loans going to do? Rape me and steal my dog? Well maybe with this new president.... Should I worry? Haha

But 2 appointments with my therapist costs about $200 and having so much time away from work has really helped my mental health lately. More than seeing my therapist, so I'll take the loss and mark it as a win.

I just have to say, after spending close to $500 on gifts for my sweetie for Xmas if he doesn't get me a good damned bathrobe for a super late gift I'm going to he so mad.

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godessalthena

:: 2018 2 January :: 8.46am

I hate feeling like a conspiracy theorist but the older I get the harder it is to ignore that every problem in America was and is manufactured by the government/the wealthy to keep the masses controlled, weak and leached of any resources.

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godessalthena

:: 2017 31 December :: 8.28am

there ain't nothing better than blowing smoke screens into sunbeams on a lazy weekend morning

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godessalthena

:: 2017 30 December :: 7.34am

Discovering my dairy allergy has been the single most depressing thing that has happened to me in a while.

I miss cheese. And eating food like a normal human being. I miss not waking up to a nuclear holocaust in my GI tract for having some cheese & cream sauce.

I miss cream cheese on bagels
I miss cheese bagels
I miss food.

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godessalthena

:: 2017 18 December :: 10.53pm
:: Mood: pensive

Freedom is what you do with what is done to you.

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godessalthena

:: 2017 18 December :: 10.59am

When I say the bridge is burned it stays fucking burned

When I say things are over they are over.

If you all want to waste your time worrying about what I'm doing, help yourself, but I don't give a fuck about you or what you think.

Leave me the fuck alone.

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godessalthena

:: 2017 3 December :: 12.58am

You insist I stay home when you go out to have fun

Makes me feel like I'm the secret

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godessalthena

:: 2017 2 December :: 9.48am

when the puzzle is made of squares and you are a hideously deformed circle piece

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godessalthena

:: 2017 30 November :: 12.06am

the warm embrace of a friend

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