godessalthena
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2016 28 September :: 7.36pm
breaking up
the worst feeling
anchors pulling at the pit of your stomach
you feel the weight of oblivion dragging you
into the murky impossible depths
your soul a rotting carcass in the mariana trench
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godessalthena
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2016 27 September :: 9.40pm
what is real
and just a dream
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godessalthena
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2016 27 September :: 6.04am
after the shit storm that has been the last few weeks, there is a light on the horizon.
finally finished the office. i've never experienced office life quite like that, but i can relate at least a little. excellent show.
now to finish quantum leap.
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godessalthena
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2016 24 September :: 12.28am
definitely not getting any sleep tonight
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godessalthena
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2016 22 September :: 10.12pm
if i close my eyes and imagine laying in my favorite field of clover and sunlight with you, will you ease my pain?
if i hold out my hand in the dark will i find yours there next to me?
i wish i could cuddle with you again, in the early morning hours in your leather chair. could i forget all that's happened since then? can we sit in the golden montana sun and snore our lives away? i miss you so much. i wish i could have hugged you one last time.
why are things always so fucking painful? why are people so terrible? why does everything turn into a burning pile of charred ash and cinder..
i just want to sleep forever. i feel so dead inside.
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alexithymia
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2016 22 September :: 6.03pm
If you want something broke you better give it to me
Got a way of disappointing that you wouldn't believe
I can take a good intention and turn it on its head
I can make you pray to God and wish we'd never met
Nobody knows where this razor has been
If you want something broke you better give it to me
Because I can make you hurt
I can take you down so low I'll make you want to cry
I can make you say goodbye
I can make you hurt
I can take you down so low and then you'll know that maybe
You'd be better off when I'm not around
You'd be better off with somebody else
So put me back on the shelf
See I'm the kind of person who can barely be loved
I solve every equation with a push and a shove
Now that I love you I'm afraid it's too late
If you get too close I'll only push you away
I can make you hurt
I can take you down so low I'll make you want to cry
I can make you say goodbye
I can make you hurt
I can take you down so low and then you'll know that maybe
You'd be better off when I'm not around
I was better lost before I was found
I've got a history of misery so baby listen to me
Put me back on the shelf and give this pain to somebody else
Cause I can make you hurt
I can take you down so low I'll make you want to cry
I can make you say goodbye
I can make you hurt
I can take you down so low and then you'll know that maybe
You'd be better off when I'm not around
I can make you cry
I can make you say goodbye
I can make you hurt
I can take you down so low and then you'll know that maybe
You'd be better off when I'm not around
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godessalthena
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2016 22 September :: 8.24am
:: Music: FIDLAR bad habits
sometimes i really want to become a drug addict
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friend?
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godessalthena
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2016 22 September :: 6.56am
the sun is no longer up when i go to work :(
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godessalthena
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2016 21 September :: 9.17pm
a lil drunk
feelin pretty grood
not worried about too much besides my internet being a fucking bastard
y u no netflix & chill, vizio?
going to portugal. the man in november. bought everyone tickets for their birthdays. i love me some scorpios man.
what da fuq for halloween doe.. dayman and nightman? harambe and a banana? the fox and the little princess?
i don't know man. i just don't know.
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godessalthena
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2016 16 September :: 2.11pm
gotta take a picture.
but first gotta find the damn thing.
still haven't unpacked from my move a year ago.
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godessalthena
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2016 14 September :: 8.07pm
I don't like the way I'm feeling right now
my stomach sinking
all the blood rushing to my trunk
I just feel so frustrated that you won't talk time about anything.
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godessalthena
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2016 13 September :: 12.04pm
this dead heart of mine is a heavy burden to carry.
I used to think maybe I wasn't meant to carry it alone
but every day that passes it seems more and more like a fact
I am not made to be happy. I am not made to love.
I am not made for anything. I am a tamed animal that's been left alone to waste away.
this hollowness I feel grows more every day. temporarily am I filled, but only to have it slip out of my cracked base.
i watch the wind through the trees and feel the brisk autumn air against my exposed flesh.
I feel nothing but meaningless inside.
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godessalthena
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2016 13 September :: 7.52am
disappointment
why can't you be a little more responsible?
or why am I such a responsible old windbag?
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godessalthena
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2016 8 September :: 10.05pm
I can make it if I tired
I closed my eyes I kept on swimming
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godessalthena
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2016 5 September :: 11.13pm
splurged on some new clothing today. torrid was having a buy one get one free clearance so I stocked up. a lil reward for paying off my car! I deserve it!
I just hope it all fits. the shitty thing is no returns... but let's be honest I'm too fucking lazy to go into a store.
I have some Blazers that never get worn.. I want to start wearing them more often just because. I'll dress up on Tuesdays, since men have tie Tuesday.
and maybe I'll get some new lipstick too...
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godessalthena
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2016 31 August :: 9.07pm
maybe I really am just not ready
I fucking hate that motherfucker. I hate who I've become. who he trained me to be. I am so weak. still a slave to those putrid habits.
I am broken indefinitely. with broken strings it's hard to fix oneself.
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