The Destroyer

:: 2014 25 June :: 9.37pm

Tomorrow is the big day :D

:: 2014 20 June :: 10.07am

Today is just a sad day.

:: 2014 19 June :: 9.14pm

How did the word "pram face" come into existence? Do you know, Jamie?

3 friends | friend?

:: 2014 19 June :: 2.44pm

Signing my new lease on the 27th :) planning on moving my stuff that weekend! I can't wait to have a place that is all mine.

I feel like now I am really becoming an adult. I'm completely self reliant, single, in school and holding down a full time job with the same company for 4 years! (I just had my anniversary!!)

I'm going to get organized, get on top of my spending habits.

3 friends | friend?

:: 2014 17 June :: 12.44pm

I find the "no make-up" look, involving make up, completely absurd.

:: 2014 17 June :: 12.04pm

Feeling a bit like the rugs been pulled out from underneath me. For the past 4.5 years my bipolar diagnosis has been an odd security blanket and today the new psychiatrist tells me she thinks I was incorrectly diagnosed and that I actually have PTSD, Panic Disorder and Depression. She doesn't focus so much on the labels themselves but the symptoms, and she says while this will be one of the hardest things I've ever done she believes with time and lots of hard work on both our sides I can heal. Here's hoping she's right.

:: 2014 16 June :: 2.22pm

Dropping off my application at a new apartment! It is so retro adorable. I love all the space, and everything will be new, and my bathroom is like 2x's bigger, so is the kitchen. It's just so cute and well laid out. :)

Plus.. Indoor heated pool. WTFFFF HELL YES haha

Sorry, john herer brings out the crazy girl in me. Haha.

I'm so excited XD

:: 2014 15 June :: 11.09am

Slowly getting my apt all packed up. Currently have the stuff under the bathroom sink and the bare bones need it every day stuff in the bathroom left to pack. The kitchen still needs packed and then the last of my need it everyday stuff. Moving on Wednesday, hope to have all of my stuff out of the apt then I will have Thursday and Friday to clean the old place before it is back to work on Saturday. Here's hoping it all goes smoothly.

:: 2014 12 June :: 12.07pm

E and I decided that until her life get's back on track we are separating. We are going to try to relearn each other and be friends and then once life settles we may try again. I was borderline tears all yesterday and today I just feel detached from the whole situation. It has tampered some of my excitement about the changes in my life but I think this was the best choice for both of us since neither of us wanted an LDR and neither of us expected to be separated for a year or more, but life has a way of getting in the way of ones expectations.

:: 2014 12 June :: 6.58am

I never want to go to that apartment ever again. The remainder of the lease is 4 months. Samie had a great idea tho..

Pay Laura the next 4 months of rent, or maybe even pay it to the management company, and then get off the lease and leave. I can't stay there. I don't feel safe.

And 4 months is a VERY long time.

Fuck that ass hole.

:: 2014 10 June :: 6.28am

I saw Rosie and Lauren's mom out for a walk on my way to work this morning :)

:: 2014 8 June :: 8.11pm

I finally got up the guts to tell Laura I'm moving out when the lease is up.

It's going to suck paying all my bills on my own.. Oh well. I think the freedom will really be the reward.

Bleh

5 friends | friend?

:: 2014 7 June :: 6.20pm

wow. just wow. <3

:: 2014 7 June :: 10.56am

i use the same voice for every impersonation i do

2 friends | friend?

:: 2014 7 June :: 1.54am

I'm wide awake when I should be going to sleep for work tomorrow. Instead I'm looking at recipes on pinterest and planning all the ones I will try in my new apt.

:: 2014 6 June :: 3.12pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Brand New

JESUS CHRIST
Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missin' out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
'cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
'cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates, does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up (everyone now)

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you're coming for the people like me
We all got wood and nails
And tongue-tied at hate factories
We all got wood and nails
And tongue-tied at hate factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine