.j.e.s.s.
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2007 12 February :: 8.21am
yeah i'm pretty sure i'm gonna fail this test.
...hmmm...
oh well!!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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m&ms487
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2007 12 February :: 12.17am
:: Mood: cold
Sometimes I just want to scream out in warning.
Sometimes you have to learn it for yourself. It's painful. It's heart-wrenching. But it must be done.
I should be going to bed, but my eyes are wide-open. My searching is inconclusive, and I'm sure someday I'll die because life has become stale.
Like stale popcorn that tastes of textured air. Air that rushes in and turns my lungs beet red. Textures like the mucous in a lung with emphazema. Stale. Old. Hindered.
Who could have calculated her thirst that night? Not a one, not even herself. She began preparation in the sunny afternoon, considering her pores in natural light. Covering, clogging them with her make up as the light dimmed, and the fluorescent lights casted unnatural shadows around the room.
She strode out the door by the light of the moon, subtly wavering in each step. She rode to the party in the darkness of a promising night, her face shining with possibility.
Arriving, entering, and swaying under the light of a miniature disco ball, the night climaxed around her. Later, he saw her by the flicker of his flame and the glow of his non-filtered cigarette.
He carried her down the flight of stairs to his bedroom, basking in the warm glow of candle light. He left her there, in darkness, and slept in the other room.
She was revealed by the new sun, filtered through a topaz curtain, that cast a long shadow with deep valleys of heliotrope.
2 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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m&ms487
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2007 11 February :: 2.29am
I don't have time for the trivial.
So serious, always.
I'm still in my 'mood'. I'm not sure where to seek a cure.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 10 February :: 10.24pm
i am so pissed!!!!!!!!!!
I have an online class and we had to write a paper and we had to send in the draft yesterday. Well it is worth 75 points and I got my grade on it today and my teacher gave TEN out of 75. The reason for that is that she says that she put my paper through turnitin.com and she says it "came back with a big red spot" whatever the fuck that means. She says 90% of my paper is "directly from the internet"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!??!? Anything that I copied is QUOTED and cited. She is full of shit and i am so fucking pissed that she is trusting a stuipd computer site saying that I fucking plagiarized!!! She says that I have to redo the whole assignment. Has anyone else ever been accused of plagiarizing when they really didnt?!?!?!
I am so pissed. I need my grades to be kept up or I will lose my scholarship. I am so angry right now. I wrote my professor an email and I told her how mad I was and that I DID NOT plagiaize . I know that she and most professors use that website and i'm not that stupid to copy shit.
GOD I AM SO MAD. has anyone else had this happen? Please tell me.
2 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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m&ms487
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2007 10 February :: 3.08pm
:: Mood: pensive
This is the moment that you know that you told her that you loved her, but you don't.
I felt so much better, but it was wrong. Not enough time for self-reflection. Too many people that aren't here.
I've been going through so many different 'moods'. I can't even explain.
...all i see are grey clouds...so when you asked if there's something wrong, you're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now.
But it was vile, it was cheap, and you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.
but you have to trust me, that i don't mean You.
4 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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brokenmentality
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2007 9 February :: 6.47pm
it sure has been awhile
i was just reading my old entries. i used to be so happy.
he did that. made me happy that is.
i love him for that.
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 9 February :: 2.48pm
okay okay i'll fucking admit it already. i'm not happy i fucking hate myself i want to quit school and i swear to god i want nothing more than to move to a different country. ANY different country. anywhere. i just want to GO AWAY. for a very very long time and i dont want to have to worry about money ever again.
i am fucking going in sane and i am about to sanp. to put it lightly.
i have got to get out ofhere.
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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m&ms487
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2007 8 February :: 11.31pm
I'm really quite anxious right now. I'm not quite sure why.
I have to take a fourty question test and write a one page paper
before i go to bed.
but it's okay, because I'm really anxious and I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.
ello.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 8 February :: 8.33pm
beauty
What is it that makes us pretty anyway? Why are one sort of looks more appealing than another?
I don't get it I guess.
I cut my bangs. I just went away chopping and now I have more bangs and a new style going on with my hair and I enjoy it. Yay for me for not effing them up.
I have to figure out how I'm going to quit Beaners. I told one of the girls I work with today that I was quitting because I have a hard time keeping secrets about myself. I can keep other peoples' secrets but not my own. She says Louis wont care that much and not to worry. But I think everyone is going to hate me and I'm scared to quit.
But I'm SO excited that I am going to work at Kindercare. I met with Heather, the director yesterday and she said I will work in the infant or toddler room YAY. Babies!! I love them.
Tomorrow I work at 5:30 am to 12. Bleh. I don't want to get up that fucking early. Stupid. Oh well.
I have a paper due tomorrow. 7 pages and I haven't started it.
Blehhhhh. My apartment smells. I'm not sure if it's Roman or if I need to take out the trash.
haha, I kid. I know it's the trash. I really need to take that out... hmm.. but the snow.. and it's a long walk .. and ... and... it's dark...and i dont want to.
I wish I was a millionaire. I do I do I do.
When the lease is up me and roman might live with people of our own sexes for a change. We don't know if we should be living together because then when we get married... it will feel like nothing has changed... You know? We'd get back from the honeymoon and go back to our same life. And we don't want that. I duno. And part of me really wants to live with jess and maybe some chicks. I duno. At the same time I love living with roman and I would hate to think of the people he would live with. guhhhhhh it makes me cringe to think of it. Well, i mean. only one person i am thinking of. i dont know who else he'd live with.
anyway. gosh i'm writing a novel. i want to lose weight. i have not bought "my" little debbie brownies (aka my favorite food ever in the entire world ever) in like a month. Yes, feel free to congratulate me. Seriously, there was a time ( like 2/3 months ago) that it was like if I didn't have my brownie that day, I couldn't function. sick . so i just try to think about how gross they really are in reality. so processed and rich and sugarry and all ... packaged and stuff. stop eating them. So I resist.
I can't wait for grey's anatomy. The good thinga bout working so early is that I can see grey's. lol.
And the daycare closes at 6 so i wil never have to miss Grey's ever ever again.
What do I want to do with my life?
I want to travel to tons of countries before I die. I want 15 minutes of (good) fame. I want to live comfortably and I want a perfect family.
If I named my kid Paja would I be a horrible mother? I like that name. Pajha maybe? Paja as in "Pay-sha" well kinda. i dont know how to spell the last part. ja . jha. like how in austin powers they say faja. it's like that. lol paja. I duno. I'm werid. I want my kids to have original names because I always hated how a million people had my same name.
Someone leave me a comment puhlease.
Goodnight children.
-Jessica michele
4 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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lynds4090
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2007 8 February :: 6.27pm
I look at my last entry and cry... most of the stuff is still true. I also laugh though because it is in a list form... what isn't in my life in list form?
I forgot about woohu... i should write more and maybe it will help relive so stress and issues.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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tuwang
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2007 8 February :: 3.39pm
So I had this dream, and I think that it's kind of relative to my life and my current mindset...
so I'm in a room of mirrors... and I see a bunch of things, what they are is irrelevant to you. THey were all things that I desire (make jokes, go ahead). I try my hardest to get a hold of everything I see, but no matter how real it looks to me, when I try to grab it it just ends up being the reflection. I cannot, for the life of me, find the real things.
you can imagine how frustrating this was for me.
so , to make me feel less wierd about this, lets make a joke...
Kevin, you were trying to get a hold of (fill in the blank).
2 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 7 February :: 1.26pm
i dont want to go to school.
bleeeh i think i have to give a speech today. i'm not even sure.
i'm so mad at myself because i was really scared of the test i had to take today and then before i handed it in, i cahnged one of my answeres and it would have been right if i had just left it as it was. ughghghgh! i hate that feeling.
i wish i could just be a tall skinny model on the janice dickenson show and never have to go to school again. but only models on that show because they dont seem really bitchy.
i'm sick of people stealing money from me and roman
realy fucking sick of it!!!
we had plans for that you stupid bitches. we had plans for all that money and now it's gone. stop stealing our money.
3 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 6 February :: 1.28pm
ughghghghghghhghg all i can say is
shut up!!!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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