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m&ms487
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2007 7 March :: 8.25pm
Oh god. My mother.
Rueben and I are moving probably moving in together next year up at Mt. Pleasant, and for many reasons, but the main one being money. It's so much cheaper to live outside of town than in a dorm. My mother doesn't like the idea of us living together because we aren't married. She has told me flat out that it's immoral and she doesn't understand why we have to live together. She also said that she thinks if we live together now, we won't get married, or if we do, we won't value it as much.
I could not disagree more. We are from two very different generations. If she wanted me to be conservative, then she should have raised me like she was raised, being Catholic and getting yelled at all the time for doing things that weren't normal. How can she pass judgement on my life, what I want to do, when she all she does is complain about her life. She complains about my dad every time I'm home. All day. Every day. She complains about how my brother and I don't do enough around the house (and I'm not even there). She complains about work and drinks way too much when she's alone here because my dad works third shift and she works first.
My feelings have been clashing so much lately. I've been at home, work, and observing at school. I feel like I'm being drawn back and reliving the past ten years of my life. It's nice, it's comfortable, because it's what I'm use to. But then, being here for only a couple days reminds me why I was so anxious to get the hell out of here. It's things like that which made me move sixty miles away and limit contact to a few ten minute phone conversations a week. I don't miss it as much as I thought I did. It's not worth feeling "normal" to be here and having to consider any other people's judgement but my own. I know I'm young, but I know what I want in life. I know the difference between right and wrong, and I know how to treat others with respect. I don't need other people telling me how to live my life, especially when they don't know what kind of situation I might be in.
Rant is done.
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m&ms487
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2007 4 March :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: blah
I went and saw Beauty and the Beast last night at the high school. It was really great except for the little kid who would not shut up. We know that it looks like a lion, and no, after the twentieth time, we don't think your kid is as cute and precocious as you think he is.
I'm observing at the middle school tomorrow and the high school on Tuesday. I also work both of those days. It reminds me of high school. Leaving at seven in the morning, working until ten or eleven at night, going home, doing homework, and then doing the same exact thing the next day.
yep. I really have the need to let loose sometime this week. Any takers?
I'm reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. It's really quite good, but it's a bitch to read. I have a bad habit of skim reading, but with good pieces of literature, I can't do that. I can only read three or four pages at time, and then think about them, and then read three more pages...
I think I might start making an outline of a course paper for my literary criticism class. I'm writing on "Lust" by Susan Minot, a short story. She's modern, and it's well written, but devices and forms and their relationship to themes are a bit harder to pick out in modern works. I still have to figure out why she lists all of the guys she slept with. How does that contribute to the theme? That's what I'll be mulling over during spring break.
Almost done with laundry. Prepared for tomorrow. Hopefully going to bed a ten. Listening to the Counting Crows. So nineties.
"she's looking at you? I don't think so; she's lookin' at me"
Michelle
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m&ms487
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2007 1 March :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: chipper
Weather sucked today. They closed campus at one because of the "inclement weather." Even the weather channel was bold enough to use an adjective such as "treacherous." It was exciting.
I went to the Cabin with Steve and a few other people and ended up getting my interviews with Steve and Joel done. I only need one more for the next check point, and I'm interviewing with Amanda tomorrow afternoon.
I have mixed feelings about spring break. It's going to be great to have a break from classes and the like, but I have a lot to do. Everyday on my calender has something going on, and, I haven't even gotten my work schedule yet.
I'm observing at the middle school on Monday, and the high school on Tuesday. So I might be seeing some of you guys (Jenny!).
I talked with one of the professors for education today about getting a middle level education minor. I think I'm going to do it, but it's an add-on minor, so I'm going to be double minoring, which is fine if it'll help me get a job. It's only an extra 18 credit hours because most of the classes double count toward my education degree requirements.
It was thundering and lightening out earlier. It was really pretty. Our electricity kept flickering and my computer wasn't too happy about it, since it got restart four times before I realized what was going on.
Working on scholarship stuff is draining, but if I don't get some new scholarships for next year, I'm going to have a big problem. Rueben and I are looking at moving ten miles outside of town to a trailer park on M-20. I called last weekend and the rent is only 300.00 a month, so, between the two of us and utilities, it's like 200.00 a month per person. Much, much better than the almost 900.00 a month between housing and a meal plan here on campus. Even the apartments around are crazy, the lowest we've found is 235.00 PER person, and that's with having like eight roommates. It should all work out. There are tons of scholarships that I'm eligible for because my gpa is a 3.93 and I'm going into teaching. I just hope that my credit standing isn't going to affect me much, since they give preference to upperclassmen (but only after financial and academic merit). We'll have to see.
For now, I'm content to sit back and read the millions of pages of literature a night that I have assigned and being involved with Kappa Kappa Psi. I have to keep reminding myself that next year, and five years, is a long way away. I always have good insight and planning skills, but sometimes I get a little nutty with worrying about what's going to happen.
I'll be home tomorrow, until the eleventh, if anyone would like to hang out. Call me, or leave a comment.
Michelle
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