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2004 14 October :: 8.56 pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Enter Sandman-Metallica (so got this stuck in my head after last night...MARIANO is the MAN)
Okay so last night was effing awesome. The postseason energy is just incredible. It's amazing. I forgot how different it is in the playoffs. I was at a Yanks/Sox game a couple weeks ago and even though we crushed them then, the energy doesn't even compare to this. I literally felt the upper deck bouncing up and down. No joke.
I can't believe it's 2-0, I'm pysched and can't wait to watch baseball all weekend.
Today felt like winter, and made me ask myself why the hell I've actually been excited for it. But I come home and I still am excited for it. Oh well. I'll be crying over it in a few months.
Soccer's almost over, which is really sad. This season has been so fun.
I've become such a slacker. I don't do ANY work. Ever. I need to get better study habits. Thank God it works out that I don't really have to study that much ever.
Spanish is the funniest class.
I'm really continuing having issues with this one person, it's giving me bad memories of the past and I don't know what to do. It's making me go crazy. Gahhh.
Speaking of the past..........yeah. Sigh.
okay well that's it.
cyaaaaaaaa
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2004 9 October :: 11.36 am
DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2004 25 September :: 6.34 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Switchfoot~Dare you to move
"What can I say? Just tip my hat and call the Yankees my Daddy."
~Pedro Martinez
Hahaha.
Holy Shit. Absolutely classic.
And Lindsay Lohan's new song is the funniest thing I have ever heard. I'm almost embarassed for her.
I was looking at like really old yearbooks from Elise's brothers and it's so funny and so cool.
Okay, that's it. I just had to post that quote, it's amazing.
And I guess I'll just have to entertain myself in making my own posts because it doesn't look like anyone else will get le job done.
much loveeeee..<3
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2004 21 September :: 8.12 pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: No Doubt-Running
Be the one I trust most...don't stop inspiring me...
Sorry that my last post was a little crazy.
This weekend was so fun. The Yankee game was insane. Just amazing. 2 day weekend is gonna be rough.
So my back is just starting to get a bit better and whaddaya know? I get sick...grrr...I was on such a streak too.
I'm already getting lazy with school. It's just that my classes are so lax I can't stay focused...I haven't been challenged enough yet to get me to actually do work. And I guess it's hard to deal with my schedule considering last years was awesome.
I'm excited for this year though...all the extracurriculars, friends, seasons...I love all the changes of the year.
And I've finally gone back to a way I used to use all the time to express myself and use as personal-therapy...write; stories, "novels," whatever...it's amazing what you can concoct when you're imagination is spinning.
Wow this community is slowly dying. Come on guys, update! And more than once a year.
One Tree Hill Tonight ..Sickk
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2004 11 September :: 4.36 pm
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: Buena Vista Social Club
First I'd just like to acknowledge and honor all those who died three years ago today and the brave policemen and firemen who risked their lives. It's a day that I recall so vividly and I will always remember and pray for every single person who was affected by it. It's an awesome thing to have lived through.
It really irks me when people like to pretend tragedies never happens. People just can't seem to handle sadness, it's some sort of disease that we pop a pill for and pretend doesn't exist. When someone loses someone close to them or is going through something very tough, people say: "Don't tell them your sorry or that you're concerned, I'm sure it's the last thing they want to think about." Who the FUCK are you kidding? It's the ONLY thing that they're thinking about. What a frickin lame excuse just to avoid an awkward situation. That's why I was so annoyed after 9/11 when people didn't talk about it...ever. NEWSFLASH: You can't just turn off the world and pretend like there's nothing going on in it. People like that bother me too. Okay, so you don't want to be scared and it depresses you, well um maybe if you payed attention it'd make the things that are depressing you about your life seem MUCH smaller and make you feel even better about how fortunate you are. There are things much bigger than your issues and pretending that they don't exist and that we're trapped in some bubble is ignant and immature. You should be thanking God every single day of your life if your loved ones are safe and that you haven't gone through a tragedy like 9/11 or any other tragedy for that matter. What if you lost someone you love...would you truly not want people to say they're sorry, would you truly want people to ignore 9/11 if you lost a loved one to a similar situation? I'm sorry if anyone is offended by this but it's how I feel and I truly think you're offending our country and the people who work so hard to make your life safe and give you opportunity if you DON'T care about them or the outside world.
I really am not writing this with anyone specific in mind so don't take it personally, but for the sake of our world; pay a little bit more attention, be a little bit more concerned, say you're sorry, pray, whatever, just care about something outside of your own life or your friends own lives. I know I can't change people, all I'm saying is just to care.
On a lighter note, first real night of 10th grade was actually really fun. I love this grade so much. Supporting the sophomore football troops was very cool. After that, some good talks. I love having real talks about everything once in a while and I really think people need to stop complaining that we have a stupid grade. We're cool. And you should appreciate Edgemont too. We're very fortunate to live here. So what we're a little neurotic and gossipy, what suburban town isn't? The grass is always greener on the other side. You're probably a lot happier and could make things much better than you really think.
School is fine I guess. I really miss my schedule from last year...Irreplaceable classes and teachers for sure. But I think I'll be okay. It's just hard to get used to it all.
I'm really looking forward to the year to get going. I hope things change a little bit. I'm just excited to see what happens. I get the feeling it'll be my best year yet. But, that's just one of my silly little inklings.
I hope everyone's enjoying their first weekend...homework yipeee...and can I get a what what? 3 days of school next week....niceeee...The Jews come through in the clutch..jus playin you know I love you all.
I know many people will feel annoyed by this post and think I sound holier than thou and never give me that satisfaction of agreeing with me but I know everyone reading this is an amazing person, and I'm sure many of you care and are concerned about the things I'm talking about already and deep down agree with at least a little bit of what I'm trying to say. But if there's anyone who didn't care and wasn't concerned before reading this or didn't care that much, if I even got them inspired just to turn on the news for 5 seconds tonight, I feel like I've parted the seas.
Much love and peace.
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2004 7 September :: 11.25 am
:: Mood: pensive
Here we are again..
looking back I think I have changed significantly. I've changed the way I handle things and I think I've gotten more mature, and I've really just found myself...but I realize that I still suffer from a lot of the same things and still have that ever present worrying problem.
I associate times of the year with colors, smells, feelings, atmospheres and I'm looking forward to all of those times and changes...it's just a matter of getting into it. The first few days suck but once I'm in a groove-I really don't mind school most of the time. In fact, the Virgo that I am appreciates and likes the organization that comes with school. It's good for me.
That doesn't mean this wasn't the best summer ever though, and losing that is going to be very tough.
There's no looking back though. Considering how fast time flies, another summer will be just around the corner.
So I don't really know what the point of this update was other than to just get my feelings out and clear my head before school starts...Very me.
calm, cool, collected
Namaste<3
..All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again..
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2004 5 September :: 10.24 am
:: Mood: sad
Memo to Pepsi-please stop taking low blows at coke.
Memo to Ms. Gillan-please stop being a horrible guidance counselor.
Memo to the Boston Red Sox-lose a game or two..or twenty-five...please.
Memo to the New York Yankees-Please do not punch walls and break your hands. Thanks.
Memo to Edgemont Boys-Please grow up...inside and out.
Memo to Napoleon Dynamite-You Rock. Please be real.
Memo to rd-Please re-find me. It can't just be over like this. It just can't.
So there's a brief list of the people on my mind...some obviously more of a big deal than others. I guess I'll get to that later.
So, my birthday was amazing, my family being here was amazing. But the time slowly dwindles away and falls to dust and here I am. This weekend was awesome, but I just can't believe it's over. I had to fight back tears on top of extreme laughter all of yesterday and last night. I finally know what it's like to have been at camp and really just love it. The thought of not seeing these people and not being here during this time of year for almost a year makes me sick to my stomach. And to think that I was worried about having to stay here until labor day...now I never want to leave.
It's not that I'm dreading school.
I'm dreading not being here.
I've finally found my little piece of heaven in these six weeks. Everyone and everything is just so different.
And I guess I'm kind of weirded out that everyone seems to have changed so much...and I didn't really that much. Or maybe I did, who knows. And school seems so sudden, even though we've had so much time to get ready for it, it's still abrupt...sophomores..I can't believe how fast time goes.
I have to go...I guess I'll finish later, but I don't really have a computer at home working...so enjoy my quickly typed thoughts.
I'm off.
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2004 27 August :: 6.49 pm
:: Mood: excited
Whole Cow! Anotherrrrrrrrr year
So itzzzz my quinceeee....yay!
Having the family here has been awesome. And my dad's horse won yesterday! And he had another one that came in second.....I just love the game, I can't wait to buy my own horse. Those 10 seconds of them coming down the stretch are one of the most exhilerating 10 seconds I've ever experienced.
And I met Don Zimmer lol!
....And today was great; presents, tubing, jetskiing, massage and now the big partay! And I have to work like 26 hours tomorrow so I'm enjoying the day off.
I don't want this summer to be over.. :(
It's been the best of my life.
Ugh.
Well...much love to everyone...thanks to all the well-wishers!
Btw-my house was burgled and my schedule was found! I have 4th period lunch, 1st per chem 5th global and last spanish--thats all I remember. Comment if u have anything.
Oh, and how could I forget? We got a lawn jockey lol its awesome!
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2004 21 August :: 9.42 pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: aerosmith-sweet emotion
Just a briefer...
Going home sucked for the most part.
I've been able to do some really cool things at work...I got to sort of take a picture of the horses coming down the stretch so I was right next to them with mud flying everywhere and stuff...it was so cool, and then I was in the winners circle witnessing all the actionnn...It was so amazingly fun...I felt so important lol...and I was on espn and abc too...um, awesome!
hsb is good...very good.
Family is coming Tuesday--can't freakin' wait. And hopefully gals next week?
And I'm just having lotsa fun...It's just awesome. This place is the shit.
Funny Cide is racing tomorrow!!!
And my (and justine's) horse Just Gabi on Monday!!!
My best to everyone for the end of the summer...
xox
btw--did schedules come yet?
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2004 16 August :: 11.38 pm
:: Mood: anxious
I like being home a lot less than I thought I would.
..but then again I'm back upstate in 3 days for another 2-3 weeks.
It's great seeing the stellars, really great, but I've really grown close to the people up there in saratoga. They're like family.
It's like I'm in some sort of a fantasy land up there and when I come back down here I'm reminded of all the things that make my life so hard sometimes...but I'm also reminded of a lot of good things.
But I guess I'm glad I'm back for now cos it's showing me how much fun I'm having and how awesome it is in saratoga.
So thank God it isn't over yet--and the best is yet to come.
Here's to summer, it's still very much happening...soon I'm back to the races.
But for the next 3 days...welcome back Edgemont. Hasn't changed a bit.
DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2004 11 August :: 3.34 pm
:: Mood: peaceful
Shit...August 11 already?!
Good God this season goes by so incredibly fast.
Things are good, as I've made some decisions that have been lingering in the back of my mind for a while.
I'm trying to clear my mind as much as possible and asess my goals and wants for the upcoming year.
Every once in a while I go through a time when I'm just so utterly satisfied about everything and I put things in perspective and there's this little twinge of happiness in my tummy...now I think I'm actually having one of those times. Which is weird because a few days ago I was all upset.
Gerspachs are coming in a couple days then family, friends, whoever...And this weekend I get to go HOME for a few days--yay home, I miss home. And I can see Stacey and Kate and whoever is back finally :) I can't wait.
I meet and see certain boys and the way they act and it honestly baffles me how different they are from the boys in our grade--and I look at them, some of whom are younger than us, and I'm just like "Wow, guys really can be like this?" I just wonder where most of ours went. It's good and bad. I'm so happy to have met this kid that I work with but at the same time...it's one month of the year. Who knows though, summer changes people.
I've finally realized who the people are that I treasure and cherish so much...And I'm so lucky to have so many of them. It's such a wonderful feeling to have people like that in your life.
And I know that's one thing everyone can agree on.
..Namaste..
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2004 5 August :: 5.19 pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Los Lonely Boys--Heaven
YES... I got a Ricky Williams jersey--you go smoke that marijuana you stud!
blahblahblahblah...
Once again I feel like I should update...
Yeah so the village DID suck. I was really dissapointed. It was a great idea but it wasn't really thrived on that well. And the "scary" parts were a joke--I was like laughing, parts of it were actually so ridiculously stupid.
Things are getting better. I had the day off today because my boss said it was "going to be a monsoon." It rained for like 10 mins, oh well. It was so funny, yesterday it was this boy's (see prev. post) birthday and my boss who is just old and nuts and just crazy was like 'So it's ya birthday robbie, gabi's gonna give ya a big kiss.' It was really funny and totally random.
Anyway, things are getting better and I'm having fun--I just miss people and I hope all my visits work out.
I totally refuse to watch TV for the next 2 weeks--ENOUGH with the back to school commercials it's still summer...It depresses the crap out of me. But I'm really not TOTALLY dreading school actually.
and i have a birthday coming up--and this year there's things i actually want--yum. can't wait.
ergh, ashlee you are SO not punk simpson screw you and your stupid #1 album. you suck.
big kissss<33
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2004 1 August :: 8.40 pm
:: Mood: weird
Just Got Paid...Fri---Sunday Night :)
Blah, I knew this day would come. I haven't updated in a while, and I just have to update even though I don't really want to. I just have to. Blah.
Where did I leave off? Edgemont? Okay, yeah so I'm here upstate for good. It's been a little slow but I think it's gonna be fun. I've been hanging out with Meredith a lot so that's been cool. I guess it's just hard to break into your second home...I still feel like I'm staying in someone's house. But I'm really excited for friends and family to come up. REALLY excited for things to fall into place.
Then there's work...I work at this stand at the race track selling famous horse photos--sounds horrible but it's not bad--I do a lot of people watching, people come and talk to me when it's slow, and it's very fun when I get sales and get to be all professional. The people I work with are great too. My weekends are a little distorted though, Monday and Tuesday. It's fine but I think I'll love it when it's super busy. I hope so at least.
Plus, my handicapping skills are SICK...I've been winning so many bets and I give tips to customers and then if they're right they have to come back and buy something.
Have I mentioned how much I MISS everyone. It's insane. I need my stellars. I hope people can come visit :-/ ...every once in a while I'm just like "WAIT, why am I so EMPTY-feeling?" It's like a part of me is incomplete :(
How about them Yankees, eh? Adios Jose...and adios Nomah--ha.
I can't really get this lump (metaphorical lol) off of my back...it's like I'm scared to have fun and that I'm not gonna have fun. There's just a lot of things I hope to be able to do and I hope work out. I also miss my tiny jockey friend Rudy...he's so cute/cool. I need to hang out with him more--even though he's like 30 lol. And I think I may be babysitting John Velasquez's kids...that's like kind of a scary responsibility :?)
Bottom Line: It's like I have it all planned in my mind of how i want this trip to work out. I hope it does. I hope it effing does.
Blah, I'm so confused about soccer...It starts so fucking early and I'd miss like at least 2 weeks of preseason and I just don't knoooow. Eeeeeks. And I hate the fact that I have to make a decision.
Tomorrow drive-in to see The Village (even though it sucks, Cheriii)... I think that will help tame the "lump."
Oh, and I think I've acheived the impossible--I've met a really NICE guy...his dad's a jockey--muy cool.
Well, I hope everyone's having fun...miss you all.
anddddddd i'm off...xo
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2004 22 July :: 3.42 pm
:: Mood: good
Raining in Scarsdale?
Beginning of Yankee Game:
Michael Kay: Well we're getting this weather report that its raining in Westchester, but really only in Scarsdale. That's very interesting.
Ken Singleton: Well...It's a good thing we don't play Yankee games in Scarsdale. It'd probably be pretty expensive to build a stadium there anyway.
haha. good god. yeah so it seems like its only raining here (or it was)..kind of strange.
Anyway, yesterday I went to work with my dad. It was great fun even though I had to work. I love going to his office and having everyone suck up to me because they know I can be their boss one day. It's kind of scary though. I'm not used to so many people being so nice to me. I got $100 and a Coach wallet, ha. I went to Coney Island too for "lunch break" and I went on the Cyclone, it was so fun. But really scary because it's so old and i thought i was going to die.
I talked to Kate and Stacey...I can't believe it's been a month since everyone left. It makes me sick to think how FAST this is going by. And I had a conversation with my mom last week and she was like asking me out of all my friends..."who's the most---"who's the least likely to do---" It was a fun conversation and it helped me clarify many things. And it's not like I think "God why are they like that?" I embrace their flaws because I know I have plenty of my own. It makes you unique. And I think finding what you don't do too well in yourself and other people helps you work to a better friendship and teaches you how to react to things and what to avoid and how to say things. It also helps you realize what you love so much about them. It's certainly worked for me. The conversation also made me sad because I miss so many people.
I'm off to Saratoga either tomorrow or the next day...Excited to start the second half of my summer.
Okay well I gotsta go...great Yankee game on.
Big Kiss~GG
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2004 17 July :: 11.22 am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Tamyra Gray~Legend
What's on my mind/happening these daYS
1) So I'm back in Saratoga--We're moved into our house...it's by no means all furnished but it is so precious. I love it...and I can't wait for visitors..it's gonna be a really fun house.
2) I come home Monday and then...I come back like Saturday for good and for work. I'm excited. I love the track and the track people. It's just too much fun up here. The townies are a little bizarre--its that whole upstate state of mind but whatev. Everyone has a summer place--I think mine's a little different than most people's though.
3) And also, now you can't say I didn't try. Maybe we should just stop. And frankly, that's fine with me. It's no longer my fault. I blew my chance and tried to make ammends for it, but now you blew yours.
4) I just found out some unfortunate news about myself. And I really have to keep my composure in times like this....I know it will be okay in the end if I just don't go insane and can do it.
I hope everyone's summers brighten up a bit.
Love you all~
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