holiday
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2003 30 December :: 12.20pm
[The garbage truck beeps as it backs up and I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away]
Did I push rewind?
~
I did wake up to the garbage truck today.
Then I watched American Beauty. It made me cry because it seems like the one moment he was happy was the second before he was killed. And I know people really die like that. And I know I should take a shower. And I know I shouldn't lounge around. And I know I have chores to do. But...I'm going to be lazy right now. I already did the laundry.
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 26 December :: 11.52pm
:: Mood: excited but nervous
Remember this night
I know I feel something. I want to say love, I feel it. I know he does too. I hope he does.
Tonight has...wow. Changed me.
Well, in a good way, not in a bad way.
It's one of those things, you can't think of words to describe. I just lay there smiling at him and he makes me feel like it's alright. It's happiness...and sadness. Knowing that we'd have to say goodbye. But enjoying the time we do have.
Anyway, I guess for the most part I can describe it. But there's so much more.
So much more...
blah g'night
oh yeah, I bought Trainspotting today. hehe. funny. wanna read the book though.
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 25 December :: 8.43pm
:: Music: [Rocket From The Crypt- I'm Not Invisible]
I'm not invisible
So Christmas has come as fast as it has gone, just as I expected. I miss being a kid. All the excitement. But you can't have everything you want. Even if it just means family. This year was torn apart. I read everyone's journals and it's sad that Christmas is making so many people sad. All my family problems are being aired out. The divorce. The cheater. The new baby. The sickness. The dying. Everyone is dying. Materialism. Concentration on everything but what is meaningful. I realized even I've become too relient on great gifts. But what can I say...
So now is the que where I dance around like everything is fine. But it's not. I have even come to realize that I could have a problem, but if I cover it up and forget about it for a couple days, at least for the holidays, then it seems very unimportant. But I need to resolve this. It needs to be done. Whether it was the lack of sleep or the lack of food, I couldn't stop crying about it. And I need it out.
G'night.
4 bonus cups |
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 17 December :: 9.51pm
"However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The faultfinder will find faults in paradise."
-Henry David Thoreau
~
I love Thoreau. He is so right at times, at the times I don't want to hear it, but need to.
3 bonus cups |
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 17 December :: 2.03pm
:: Music: [Silverstein- Red Light Pledge]
Yeah...I know you did.
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 14 December :: 1.27pm
So sad this doesn't suit you now...
Hey kiddos. Haven't been on here in quite some time. How's everybody doin'? Grood. I mean, great. Great and good. Anyway, I don't really have much to say...so I'll leave you with this...
I have to stir the potatoes in a half an hour.
Do with it what you will. er...whatev. ahaha.
:-P
2 bonus cups |
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 3 December :: 8.15pm
:: Mood: indifferent
eyes looking dry looking for an easy target
Savor the moment, because a memory's fleeting. Take a photograph as the last train is leaving.
Yep. Long day. Kind of feeling...well, tired. Tea=good.
8 bonus cups |
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 2 December :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: [Fenix TX- A Song For Everyone]
==yes. happiness.==
[well i know that it's late, but the words wouldn't wait. I'm really sorry that I woke you up I don't know what's come over me. If I'm wrong, let me know. Do you think I should go? But before you give an answer, think of somewhere you'd rather be...]
All my problems right now are SOLVED. Everything has turned around from one phone call. Everything that's been on my chest has been lifted, and I am so extremely relieved. Things are going great.
G'night.
[All I wanna know is do you wanna come with me?]
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 2 December :: 4.48pm
:: Mood: confused
I'm having problems
3 bonus cups |
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 2 December :: 2.54pm
Untitled
I'm falling apart but keep telling myself keep your feet in the air and your head on the ground or maybe the other way around
I don't like this waiting by the phone I know you have something better waiting for you I know you have something to look forward to.
But I'm alone.
And I'm falling apart, Walking example of discontent, fighting worse things of detriment. Wasting so much time again I'm wasting so many words without a plan. But it's time turn off the engine This is the end where do we turn now
that we're lost I don't know how
you want to leave
But I'm alone
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 2 December :: 2.41pm
:: Music: Billy Talent- Try Honesty
Your well of lies ran dry
Forgive me father, why should you bother?
Try honesty, Try honestly
Hop in your dumptruck, Reverse for good luck
Right over me, Right over me
...
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 1 December :: 6.38pm
Keep your feet on the ground
...
I love your eyes
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 30 November :: 10.31pm
You remind me of the times I knew who I was...
But still the second hand will catch us like it always does...
~
Hmm...
2 bonus cups |
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 30 November :: 10.53am
I
Am
Happy
I'm not going to explain my feelings anymore, i don't have to, and this whole thing feels better between just us- and I am going to enjoy life starting... now.
will that be ALL?
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holiday
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2003 27 November :: 10.32pm
Some of the best concerts are coming up. I'm so excited. Silverstein and Spitalfield. At ONE concert. Yayyyy. This vacation has been one of the best. Gosh. Things are just...yeah. :) great. I hope everyone else is having a good vacation too.
will that be ALL?
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