Black roses and Silver tears

:: 2004 30 January :: 6.51am

It's all for you
You've got me where you want
It's all for you
Just stop breaking my heart

:: 2004 29 January :: 5.02pm
:: Mood: discontent

When you break me down
I fall apart and wrestle with myself
Inside
I'm nothing

I don't feel that confident about myself today. I feel...

I don't know. Worthless.

I'm nobody really. I am nothing.

This is an entry I should put in my private journal but I feel like putting it in here.

I don't want your pity.

My day was boring. No anime club today so that sucked. We're almost done with our movie in French class.

Only one interesting event occurred today: I just bought Les Parapluies de Cherbourg and the hardcover Shirahime manga.

That's it I guess.

I love you all.

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 28 January :: 10.25pm

More presents?
I checked my e-mail and I got a $50 Amazon gift certificate from my whole family.

I have no idea what to buy with it. I really want Shirahime like you have no idea but I don't know...

I guess I could buy a couple CDs too...

Wow. Buying CDs. What a concept.

Went to Katie's earlier. Katie gave me a William Shakespeare action figure and a necklace she got from her grandparents. I really feel loved.

Kelly gave me a Cat Stevens album (my parents informed me that our record player is broken so I have no idea what I'm going to do) and 'The Best Mix' CD that we found in the hallway one day.

Ben gave me a pretty necklace. Hee.

Thank you all. I love you so very much.

11 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 28 January :: 10.30am

It's my birthday and I'll dance if I want to
Dance if I want to
Dance if I want to
You would dance too if you got a snow day as a present!

I cannot believe we actually got a snow day. My father came in at 5:15 and said, "You have a snow day today." I kept saying, "What?"about 400 times. He just kept saying, "Snow day." I stumbled to the bathroom and couldn't fall back asleep. I stumbled into the living room and went online to see if it was true.

But, blasphemy, the internet was down! We just got it up a little bit ago.

New quote: "I vote chinese food for president of good good."

I got the Pocket Dalai Lama, a book stand (so I can read while I eat cereal or for heavy books), a solar powered rainbow maker, Lovely Bones, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare and, this is great, a CD player with software that lets me burn 490 SONGS ON ONE CD and shows me the names of the songs on a little LCD display. I am such a geek.

I think it's my fault we have a snow day. Last night I chose the outfit I was going to wear today and what I wanted my hair to look like.

Well churl. I'm gonna go uh do something.

I love you all! Thanks for the well-wishes!

9 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 27 January :: 1.56pm

Who called it?

We're home early.

Stupidly.

I'm gonna go eat then play DDR.

Tomorrow I turn 17.

:: 2004 27 January :: 6.15am

Cedar didn't even close yet.

Are all of the schools insane? They're going to have to send us home early if they don't cancel.

Then what'll all the little kids do?

It makes me mad. I want a snow day already. At this rate we won't ever get one.

Erg.

They're going to send us home early I just know it.

:: 2004 26 January :: 9.04pm

Q and stunkel have taken up residence in my house...i think ill die now...not really, they arent that bad...i think its more to show off when theyre being insane...theyre actually pretty cool...later...

Are you crying?

:: 2004 26 January :: 8.53pm

SMURFING SMURF FOR SMURFING SMURF!
I finally, after what seems like forever, got the mp3 of the remix of It Don't Mean a Thing (the if it ain't got that swing one... you know you know it)

It is 73h r0x0rz.

Download it or you shall hear it on the next CD I burn for you. Well wait. You'll hear it either way. I WIN.

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing
It don't mean a thing all ya gotta do is swing

I'm gonna learn how to swing dance again.

I love you all.

:: 2004 26 January :: 5.21pm
:: Mood: awful
:: Music: "we are under a winter...um...storm advisery"

pudding
i made pudding.

chocolate cherry!

im eating the whole bowl

then ama do some hmwk

then ama call jen and were going to paint patrick...then ill come home and do more hmwk...cuz guess what guys

im doing it

amazing i know. im st ill eating pudding...

its a lot

ooh empire commercial is on.
my head really hurts.

okie...bye...

::hug!::

:: 2004 26 January :: 6.18am
:: Mood: tired

Dream to Make Believe
Let me sleep some more...

I'm tired.

I love you all.

9 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 25 January :: 4.55pm

too much is like not enough, but more.
Two! Count em -- TWO obsessions acquired in one week.

I posted Eisley lyrics o'er in Woohu Lyrics.

Obsessed I be. My obsessions ne'er go away until someone else acquires the obsession.

So unless you all want to hear about Guster and Eisley for the rest of forever, I suggest you get obsessed with them. Now. Or at least look at them and listen to them. I've got mp3's if you need them.

You do need them. You need them like you need air!

Um. Right. Sounds like Buddy and Hannah are watching a movie so I'll probably go watch it with them. And eat. And maybe play DDR again. Yes...

OH! Before I go, it's reminder time.

MY BIRTHDAY IS THIS WEDNESDAY. I WILL BE TURNING 17 AT 9:20. DO NOT FORGET IT. I DON'T REALLY FLOOFING CARE IF YOU GET ME A PRESENT OR NOT. HUGS ARE GOOD TOO.

I love you all.

What Do You Think Of VHHS Doing JatTDC

:: 2004 25 January :: 2.17am

:: 2004 24 January :: 8.01pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: cell phone rings

stunkel and Q
im not really annoyed...cept theyre playing with cell phone rings...were waiting for the chinese food...star search is on...i watched big fish...its really good! it made me smile and cry and jen, do you want to see the butterfly effect with me? okie thats all for now...i forgot what i was going to say...lol Q plays drums for a band htat contains kurt, shavel, devon, fritz, and farrell. lol...i laughed...

:: 2004 24 January :: 1.54pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: tv movie music

dream
so i had a dream. you know how you have deja vu dreams? well i had one of those a long time ago...where i was in an elevator with two other people and i just knew the elevator broke and i was going to die. but that was it. i just knew it never happened. last night i had a dream and i was eating something with shrimp in it and i left the table and took the plate i think to go to a hotel room and i was eating it with my fingers. i got in the elevator and the door closed and it started going and i realised it was the same as the dream before so i threw down the plate and screamed (or maybe it was in my head) we're going to die! the elevator stopped and fell. i was in it until it was almost to the bottom and then the view was from the top of the shaft and i saw the elevator smash on the floor...which is weird cuz if you know anything about elevator shafts, they usually go a floor lower than the last floor, not just stop on the floor, unless of course it ended a floor before the one it landed on...i dont know...well anyway. somehow i ended up out side of the elevator and sort of wondered what happened to the two guys (there was one on either side of me and the one on the right had a business suit on that i ruined with the shrimp) but the floor was cold, white and empty...i tried to hold on and when i was about to give up, a man and his two little girls came. i knew them, but i was still a kid so it wasnt my husband and daughters. i erm...cant think of word. well i dragged myself toward them and the little girl sat next to me. i told her that i needed help, because you know, it wasnt completely obvious. so i ended up in a hospital bed and my mum and the nurse were in there and my mum was catering to me like she always does when am sick. everyone was there. my friends i noticed patrice and jen and sandy...but everyone else had their back turned. one day, i was laying in the bed and i heard the doctor say soemthing to my mum and i didnt like it. i waited until they were gone and went out. i went down the hallway which looked oddly like a white vernon hills high school hallway with lockers. i dont know what happend after that...the dream is diminishing from my brain.

:: 2004 24 January :: 12.08pm

I finally watched Eisley's music video, Kyle.

I love that song. It's... I don't know... hauntingly beautiful. The music video is awesome. It's nothing utterly overdone or anything. I love it.

Newest obsession: Eisley.

:: 2004 24 January :: 12.08am

If you ever need someone to talk to or you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here.

6 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 23 January :: 9.57pm

The snow is so beautiful...

:: 2004 23 January :: 6.29pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: She will be loved by Maroon5

I know that goodbye means nothing at all...
She will be loved...

I really love this song.

Take me away from this house! Please! No matter what, I'm getting out of here tomorrow. I'll ask to be dropped off downtown or something. I don't care.

I need social interaction.

I want to spend time with you like we used to. I never get to anymore...

"I want to be where I've never been before
I want to be there and then I'd understand
Know I'm right and do it right
Could I get to be like that
I'll know what I don't know with nothing more to gain"

I love you all.

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

:: 2004 22 January :: 10.38pm

Proved your theory wrong
Follow your heart.

Are you crying?

:: 2004 22 January :: 6.46pm

Happy birthday, Katie. I can't say it enough.

I'm scared that I'm going to do something I'll regret. Pray for me.

I love you all.

P.S. Guster is coming to the Orbit Room on March 13, I think it is. Who wants to go?

5 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

:: 2004 22 January :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: "soundscapes" from my satellite provider

turnabout
this whole turnabout thing is pissing me off. ive got to talk to neil...maybe we'll just go by ourselves.i dont want to go to an italian place and i know im going to lose that battle. jill wont go if its crazy, jackie wont go if patrice doesnt go and the person patrice was going to ask (or so said jackie) just got asked. why does this cause so much shit. why cant we all just ask who we want and go in groups of four! ::hff:: my dress is pretty tho...that im happy about. and ill smell nice (ama take a shower) thats always a good thing.

:: 2004 22 January :: 6.18am

Cedar got a snow day. Yay for them.

I'm gonna go get ready...

:: 2004 22 January :: 12.57am

oh fuck. i forgot waht i was going to type in here. ooh yea thats right! um...i probably already talked to you about this, but eh. i think that i want to major in psychology and minor in scenic art....thats theatre art and psychology without a double major! woo! now to find a college that does that...

Lavitz1985

:: 2004 22 January :: 12.24am

Not that anyone cares, but I've a new community for people who like to Role Play.
RPGamers

:: 2004 21 January :: 11.55pm
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: david letterman

turnabout
so seeing as everything is already planned (rarr) my mum is trying to plan everything and arg! shes making appointments and i had everything all decided and now shes confusing me and i dont know what to do and now im getting frustrated. so i tried to decide on a hairstyle...and cant. can you help me?

my favourite

pineapples!

i think it looks cool...

this ones pretty

a load of different things the sixth row to the ninth on the left i like.

eh thats it. if you guys like anything tell me! please!

:: 2004 21 January :: 4.39pm

I don't know... sometimes I wish I was... I don't know if I am
Angel
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 2004 21 January :: 4.21pm

I find a need to be a demon
A demon cannot be hurt

Today was pretty fun. I love my History class so much. I didn't go to anime club because it was snowing too much. My mom said she wouldn't pick me up if the snow was bad.

Tomorrow, listen to this carefully, we are not going to have a snow day. You all are jinxing it if you think we are.

We are not having a snow day.

If we are not having a snow day, who wants to hang out? It's Katie's birthday tomorrow so I'm sure if we don't have a snow day she'll be hanging with Tom or her family or both.

Anyway. I need to get out of this house.

I love you all.

:: 2004 20 January :: 1.25pm
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: ::chit, chat::

ooh...has been time...
Hello to you all�ive been really hyper lately�and jen has been bugging me to update so I figure I should. I kinda miss this journal; no I haven�t moved on or anything its just the computer holds less entertainment than it once did, owed mostly to the fact that my computers don�t fucking work. So sandy�I reset it. ::hug:: how did he find it? I asked jill�

Jen got a hamster! Her name is GODIVA MILK CHOCOLATE�we think shes pregnant. I want a doggie. But I don�t have a doggie. Last night I watched independence day at neils�he watches that movie soo much its like me and harry potter holy geez�I mean�cheese and rice! Lol (see just married) ooh I watched loads of movies which I put in here�I shud probably finish telling you about theatre fest, but another time. Um�last night I was playing with neils cologne cuz he has adidas, tommy, and calvin klein and I wanted to smell them all�well I sprayed calvin klein on him cuz he already had some on and he wasn�t going anywhere so it didn�t matter if he smelled too much�and then I put tommy on a Kleenex and just about died cuz it was so strong at first�and I got up to get the adidas and opened it and it poured on me! Eep! Cuz it was a pour top rather than a spray bottle and I didn�t know that so I smelled like sweet shit all night and bahhhh�so I don�t like that one that much. Its good he uses calvin stuff that�s my favourite�but I think he smells better by himself anyways��eeehh�that sounds wrong but you all know what I mean. My eye hurts. Its being weird.. like watering and heating up and shit its strange

::blink::
::blink::
::blink::

so I tried to change my gym because they only have the option of weight training and team sports every other day. Plus I�m not amazed at the people in there. I love Katherine but I don�t really know tim or tiffany and jackies changing and goli�s there too but I didn�t find that out until I had already decided. So I went to mrs. Firnbach to change it and she said that shes not supposed to but shell talk to bauer. And then told me to go ask bauer cuz there was time left in the period. So I wnet and she asks �why� and am like eep what to say?! �because I don�t know anyone� �too bad, youre going to have to make some new friends� ARGG!! ARG TO YOU BAUER I DESPISE YOU! Okie so caps lock off�

I passed art. I got an A on the final even though I did something totally different than the assignment. It was supposed to be a campaign poster to campaign yourself for president. I campaigned a neighbourhood watch act lol. Okie well�I passed all my classes, the real ones all with D�s how lucky. I passed. That�s sad when you can say youre lucky with D�s. ::hug:: to everyone who is either having a bad day or just feels like a hug! Adios.

Are you crying?

:: 2004 19 January :: 10.38pm

If that's all you will be
You'll be a waste of time
You've dreamed a thousand dreams
None seem to stick in your mind
Two points for honesty
It must make you sad to know that
Nobody cares at all

And all the people who've seen it all before
And all the people who really understand
Know they're right
And have done it right

:: 2004 19 January :: 6.42am

I totally forgot about this, and it's already late, but last Sunday (the 11th) it was one year since I joined Woohu.

w00tchu!

Andy, thanks a ton for making such an awesome site. I love it so much. My life revolves around it sometimes. Checking who updated and updating a thousand times myself.

I love you, Andy. Thanks for making such an awesome site. You do such a great job with it.