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Black roses and Silver tears

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angel_bob

:: 2007 3 July :: 2.17pm

I got contacts.

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angel_bob

:: 2007 27 June :: 3.01pm

Did I tell you that you all suck?


Because you do, losers.

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angel_bob

:: 2007 26 June :: 6.33pm

Did I tell you about when I saw Mark Ruffalo in Prague?

It's a good story.

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angel_bob

:: 2007 20 June :: 4.23pm

Things I forgot about:
Read more..

Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 14 June :: 2.18am

I feel kind of bad because everyone else is reverse culture shocking it up and wants to go back to France.

But then I think about it and it is okay that everyone else loved France and wants to go back.

I am more happy here than I have been since maybe November or before whenever leaving for France became real.

They can have all the France they want.

Because it sucked and I hated it.

I seriously am surprised when men don't yell at me, check me out or honk at me when they drive by. And that is not a good thing to be surprised about.

For clarification, when I was in the airport in France waiting for my plane wearing khakis that I'd slept in and an old comfy shirt, airport security guards clicked at me. It's this thing that French guys did. They clicked at girls like you would click at a cat or dog to make it come to you. When I was in Texas and wearing a shirt white dress with a tennis skirt that snapped in the front, a guy looked at me and moved on. Like a normal person.

I am so glad to be home.

Plus there are stores open later than 7 at night. And I understand everything people say.

Seriously, this is the best country in the world. And you know how I hate this country.

I just wish I had my car and my job.

I love you all and I am so happy to be home. Beyond happy.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 9 June :: 8.49pm

Buddy and I found a ribbon generator:




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angel_bob

:: 2007 4 June :: 7.45am
:: Mood: jubilant

I AM HOME!

Things that are going to be hard to get used to: keyboard, McHenry now falls over.

I am home!!!

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angel_bob

:: 2007 18 May :: 12.47pm

Ready to come home.

16 days.

Might go to the beach, I really don't want to.

I miss Nick now more than ever.

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angel_bob

:: 2007 15 May :: 5.21pm

19 days until I am home.

I want to punch someone.

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angel_bob

:: 2007 11 May :: 12.43pm

My dad also went into the hospital Sunday. HE called me on Wednesday and told me.

Thanks for keeping me updated, Mom.

Next week is our last week of classes and then we have exams then a week of nothing before HOME SWEET HOME.

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angel_bob

:: 2007 25 April :: 12.25pm

39 days, bitches!

I am so excited to come home!

So at the u here there are four or five levels of classes. At the beginning of the year, we took a placement test to get into a level. Most of us got in level 3 but two of us were placed in level 2. Anyway, the only test we have is at the end of the year. In France, doing well on the exam means getting 50 percent but at home, that transfers back as a D. On everything. So last year's group made a stink and this year, one of our professors here expressed concern for our sucess on the exam. She signed us up for level 2's exam so we could actually pass. I still have to take level 3 but they take the best grade you get anyway in the end.

So I am not worried.

Just waiting to come home.

I love you all.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 18 April :: 12.04pm

I am done with fucking France. I hate it here. I am ready to come home.

Oh and our wandering across Europe had us go to Budapest, Prague and Brussels. It was fun. And the weather is really nice.

But i just want to come home.

Oh and Kurt Vonnegut's death upset me. It made me think about Katti and Oliver and I just heard him on the radio before I left...

Then this school shooting. The world is falling apart while I am gone.

And why isn't anyone awake and on msn at 6 in the morning?

I want to come home.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 3 April :: 8.15pm

I am in Italy. We went to Rome and now we are in Florence but we leave tomorrow for Venice. Then Laura, Bekka and I will drift across Europe like crazy backpackers. I am excited for it.

I love you all.

And, Nick, I miss you oodles. And love you even more.

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angel_bob

:: 2007 15 March :: 3.56pm

I hope your meeting goes well today, Katie!

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


mudpiegrl

:: 2007 15 March :: 12.10am
:: Mood: angryannoyedbusyconfuseddepresseddistressedexhaust
:: Music: edjealousmelancholyrestlessrushedscaredshockedsleepystressed

JustEverything
You know that famous scene of I Love Lucy where she's working the chocolate factory and everything's going okay, but it quickly gets out of hand and the women start to do everything they can to get rid of the chocolates they can't wrap?

That's pretty much how I feel. Like everything's going alright, but it's going too fast for me to handle and I don't know how to take it. Everyday it seems like there's something new that needs a deep breath, but I just try to keep taking it.

Like my speech: Easy and slow does it...I get through most of it. I realise I've messed up. I start thinking. How can I fix it? They won't know why he's said that. Just continue. Oh, gosh, where was I? Keep talking. You know what you're saying. I can't breathe. Talk. Can't breathe. Words. ::Gasp:: Line. ::Gasp:: "Omg, I'msosorry, I'mkindahavingapanicattack." ::sob:: ::run::

It's like that. I want to dunk my head underwater and study the sandy bottom of a pool. Or sit on a wall, feel the wind, read all day, and forget everything else. Or go home and take a long, hot bath and watch a movie before going to bed.

I can't though.

No time. Luckily, Patrice and I are getting along which makes life so much easier. Because she and Ryan talk to me and make living here and being frantic bareable. And they're fun when we actually get to hang out. I just missing having more time to do it.

Mushroom came today. We hadn't talked since winter break. Then yesterday, he texted me, pretty insistant that we get together. Which is weird. He wondered why I didn't call him to tell him stuff. But why would I call someone who's mad at me? And suddenly, because of my family issues, all friend issues with him are forgiven, healed, and sealed? I questioned him on it, and though it doesn't make any sense, that's definatly what he said. It's unnerving and I don't agree with it. It's like in movies when the popular, dreamy guy asks out the nerdalicious chick, there's always a bet or a catch of some sort.

Then there's Kristen with whom I am also having issues. I just feel rejected. And I understand that she's still in high school. But that means it's going to be worse when she moves away to Indiana. I just hate the fact that I feel like I have three family members (Patrice, Ryan, Tyler), a boyfriend and one friend. Other than my mum and dad, she's the only reason I go home and the only reason I actually spend any amount of time there. We have all the same shit and better in Chicago. So it's actually her I want to see, not VH.

Bill's good though. He's a positive in my life, mostly. He's such a sweetheart. He really cares for me. Which is also mostly good. Because I know I dont feel exactly the same. I definatly care for him, but not the way he does for me. He's fantastic to whine to, but that's all I do, as far as I can tell. I think that's annoying though, but he's not much of a conversationalist. I don't know. It's nice to have a companion, but I almost feel that he's not exactly going to be the right kind. Right now, like I said, it's nice to have a companion like that, someone that'll hold me and stuff. It's comfortable, which is a horrible reason to have a boyfriend and most of the reason I didn't want one. It's all very selfish reasons, not simply because I like the guy.

I like my job, too. The new one. I still have to quit the chocolate place. I'm going in tomorrow to quit and try to get the shift for tomorrow covered. Wish me luck. I don't know what to say.

I'm trying to pick a mood with which to head this. It's tough. I'll just type a bunch because there are so many things that I'm feeling.

Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 12 March :: 1.12pm

So my parents are for sure not going to come visit because of some stupid government passport thing. Which means when everyone's parents come to visit the first week of April, Rachel is going to be depressed and alone. In Perpignan, capital of NOTHING TO DO.

We found peanut butter, cherry coke, vanilla coke and taco kits at one store on Saturday. It was a good day.

I got my course schedule in the mail and just emailed the advisors with my class schedule. It is exciting!

Today is Nick and my anniversary so I am sad. He also starts his new job today so wish him luck.

I hope everyone and their lack of wisdom teeth are doing fine. Love love.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 28 February :: 10.34pm

94 days. I can do this.




I just want Nick.

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 28 February :: 8.47am

Hey.

People were right, after three weeks, this thing is so easy. I still want to go home sometimes but it doesn't hurt as much.

Today is a good day. Nick got a job, my 8 o'clock class was cancelled and my 11 o'clock might be cancelled too. I am tired but happy.

I think I can do this. Only three more months.

Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 22 February :: 12.40pm

Amsterdam was awesome. I want to live there or at tleast go back.

London is alright. It has a different vibe than the rest of Europe. I don't know.

Getting re-used to the keyboard is a pain.

Nick I am online and you aren't. Oh but I just realised that it is almost 8 there. ha ha that is why.

Stupid time difference.

Anyway, having fun, going to a musical tonight.

I love you.

Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 15 February :: 11.02am

My parents are adorable.

I talked to my mom and dad yesterday. I mentioned to them both that I am usually on msn messenger after dinner so my mom got a hotmail account and had my sister teach her how to use it.

AND THEN my mom offered to buy Nick Vonage so he could call me.

AND THEN my dad said that after he goes to China and everything, he'll stop by and see me. Like Europe is down the street from Taiwan.

I love them.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 14 February :: 9.05pm

I am pretty sure France is trying to kill me.

So far,

I have almost gotten hit by billions of cars (that is sort of my fault as I pull the European and just walk out in the middle of traffic).

I fell down on the bus and now have massive zombie rot on my leg/thigh (so massive that I cannot lay on that side of my body).

I just almost fell out of the 24 yr old's bedroom window (He left his shutters open when he left and it is really windy so I went to shut them. I grabbed one and I sort of left it there and went to stuggle with the other shutter which the wind had an excellent hold of. In my stuggle, I leaned out to get better leverage on the left shutter and the right one swung around and hit me in the arm. Another bruise.)



Maybe the right side of my body is just not meshing well with France.


Anyway, I love you.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 14 February :: 8.55am

Well our first class was cancelled which means I got up at 6 to take the bus at 7 for NO REASON. We don't have class until 10.

The weather here is awesome. It rained the other day but then cleared up and was beautiful.

I love you all.

Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 11 February :: 11.25pm

Here are some videos also.

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angel_bob

:: 2007 11 February :: 11.03pm

I am slowly getting pictures up. I remembered that I have a flikr account.

I am getting tired of naming them. Here they are. I am going to bed soon so I am stopping for the night.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 11 February :: 9.49pm
:: Music: Take Your Medicine by Cloud Cult

You can take it in stride or you can take in right between your eyes
Cloud Cult released a new album! First priority (after chili dogs, cheesecakes and mad makeouts with Nick) once I get back. I hope not all that stuff happens on the same day because I am getting bloaty just thinking about it. Gross.

Anyway, you can stream some songs off their website so that is what I am doing to distract myself from my 8 o'clock class tomorrow (which requires me to get up at 6 and catch the bus at 7:03).

Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 11 February :: 9.24pm

I went to two bars on Friday and a mod concert yesterday. Yes, I am still not drinking. Europe and the legal ability to drink won't change that.

I have been here just over two weeks and people are right, three weeks is the charm.

I am to get my first France period this week. I know you didn't need to know that but it is just one of the many things upsetting me. I would be so happy without this women thing. I think I am going to be constantly pregnant once I am married. Good plan.

I had couscous for the first time today. It was delicious but it is messing with my organs. That might be the impending woman doom though. The food here is beyond good. I will never be able to eat pudding cups or American desserts again.

I am going to eat a chili dog the second I get off that plane. Oh and a cinnabon. I am not going to be able to live this long without a chili dog. mmm Chicago style chili dog... Oh I also miss cheesecake and cake.

France is the best place ever but it can never be perfect without you. Everything is so beautiful but I can't enjoy it knowing you aren't and can't see what I see.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 10 February :: 11.28am

We have a break not this coming up week but the next. Laura, Bekka and I are going to go to London then Amsterdam for a few days then back to spend the rest of the week in London.

Everyone is all 'it is cold in London blah blah' but it is not like we don't come from Michigan or anything.

Anyway, that will be fun. English and all.

6 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 7 February :: 8.05pm

A guy drove by in a nice car with his windows down blasting Ohne Dich while I was waiting for the bus to go home.

It made me think of Katie which made me miss her which made me sad which made me want to go home.

In other news, classes are easy so far. Too easy.

And France, at least where I am, is the best place in the world.


Oh and Nick can't come visit so I am depressed. And I want to go home.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2007 5 February :: 9.50pm

Today was my first day of school in France. So far it is waaaaaaaay easy. But I only had two classes. One, technically since it was the same prof but... they are still two different classes.

I live in the burbs and with class starting at 8, I woke up at 6 to catch the bus at 7. We had class from 8-12 then nothing so we went all over. I didn't buy any clothes today which is a good thing. I did buy a 5 euro crepe though. It was so good.

Anyway, every day is 100 percent better like I said but one thing can bring the whole day down. Today sort of crashed and burned. I am pretty sad now but I know tomorrow is another day and I am not going to die or anything.

Unless I die of a broken heart.

Or a plane crash.

Have fun in the snow, suckahs!

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angel_bob

:: 2007 3 February :: 4.38pm

I miss you guys but not the snow and home. Ha ha. The main street in Perpignan has palm trees.

I miss squirrels.

Loves.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

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