.j.e.s.s.
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2006 15 March :: 11.07pm
Have you ever felt like everything you've worked for your entire life was for nothing? Have you? It's really disapointing.
I had a lot more to say, but Roman just called me and suddenly, it's like I can't complain anymore.
And to YOU: the one i talk about ALL the time I swear. because your HORRIBLE UNAPPRECIATION just burns my soul everytime i hear about it: You think you've got it so bad it just kills me. I wish just ONCE you could be like us. You could be like me. You could know what it's like. UGALSDGJ God I can't even say what I want to. You bug me so much. Someday you'll see. And who SAYS I can't feel that way or say those things or do those things? YOU? is it WRONG and unethical and impractical and impossible because your DUMBASS says it is?!?!? Is that what you want me to believe. Gosh you amaze me in the worst way possible. I dont know how I can even "stand" you. Oh, but sigh... I only wish I could be as GREAT as you.
let go lightly
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spud
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2006 15 August :: 10.42pm
i can't say no.
i can't even say "wait a minute baby, let me lock the door so jim doesn't walk in like last time."
like every time. this whole lack of discipline thing has got to go. but to discipline myself would mean to take myself seriously. and that just aren't happenin'.
alrighty. i should do homework. will i? we all know the answer to that one.
4 hold on tightly |
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sugarmouse0587
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2006 15 March :: 5.29pm
nothing feels right. i'm doing normal things. i'm hearing normal things.
but phillip is dead and gone. and he was only four. and he was so smart and funny and beautiful. i always thought when phillip grows up he's going to be so cute. no. i don't know what to do. i don't want to do depressing things. i don't want to cry. but everything is so shakey.
nothing else is even important today. i love the peepers more than ever.
let go lightly
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JediBumblebee
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2006 15 March :: 4.28pm
Woo! Tax refund to be deposited Friday...plus it's payday!!!
Thank god. Life is too expensive.
Time for me to get a real job...I interview on Friday and if I make it through this time, I get an offer. We'll see what kind of offer though. Plus they have to agree to give me at least a month off because we've already booked our honeymoon...to CANCUN...woooo!
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 15 March :: 1.42pm
It's so fricken easy to say yeah I'm gonna be so great and everything's going to be so great and I'm going to graduate college and become this great thing and earn this great money and blah blah blah but now I realize nothing is ever going to happen.
great.
2 hold on tightly |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 14 March :: 9.25pm
Thank you, God.
Roman got a car. It has honestly been since like July that he hasn't had a car. Do you know how hard that has been for us?
He got a 2003 Taurus only 40 thousand miles on it!! I am so excited it looks so nice and new and pretty and yay I'm so excited.
YAY! We never imagined he would get this good of a deal or this nice of a car. I'm so happy.
Finally one thing good has happened.!
i'm gonna be jealous he has a better car than I do now lol@!!! Pimpin in his sweet ride!
let go lightly
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holiday
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2006 14 March :: 6.14pm
Isn't that awful!? This was on MSN today.
Miss Deaf Texas killed by train
"Witness says engineer sounded horn repeatedly before striking 18-year-old"
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JediBumblebee
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2006 14 March :: 3.58pm
I can really not understand how people can be so dumb.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
It took me a year to believe it was over,
And it took me two more to get over the loss.
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters,
And every time I remembered the taste of your lipgloss.
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But enid we never really knew each other anyway.
There were times when I wanted to hurt you,
And there were times when I know that I did.
There were times when I thought I would kill you,
But can you blame me I was only a kid.
Tell me why we never respected each other.
And tell me why I never believed that you were a person too.
I always thought that you fancied my brother.
I may not have liked it, oh but memory is a strange thing, oh, and enid?
Enid I remember you.
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway,
But enid we never really knew each other anyway.
It took me a year to believe it was over,
And it took me two more to get over the loss.
I took a beating when I wrote you those letters,
And every time you told me to get lost.
Now it’s not fair to say that it’s
’cause I was three inches shorter then,
And it’s not fair to say that it’s ’cause
I was only fifteen years old.
But maybe it’s fair to say it was a lack of communication,
I took a phone message, oh and speaking of communication,
Oh, and enid,
Enid you got a cold.
I can get a job I can pay the phone bills
I can cut the lawn, cut my hair, cut out my cholesterol
I can work overtime I can work in a mine
I can do it all for you,
But I don’t want to.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway,
But enid we really never knew each other anyway
I can teach you how to dance, how to sing, how to knit,
How to make things that you never ever made before
Enid, I can teach you how to use cookie cutters
To make crazy things out of play-doh.
Little houses, little farms, little accessories for your mom,
For your barbie set, for your friends and your family
Enid, I can teach you how to snowmobile, cross-country ski, snowshoe,
But I don’t want to!
Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But enid we really never knew each other anyway
I took you dancing, paid for your nightschool.
let go lightly
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 14 March :: 3.08pm
I don't even know what this means, and don't ask me to explain in depth what a "slowdown" even is. But I just like this and it's making me want to cry.
I must look just like a fool
Here in the middle of the road
Standin' there in your rearview
Gettin' soaked to the bone
This land as flat as it is mean
A man can see for a hundred miles
So I'm still prayin' I might see
The glow of the brake light
But your wheels just turn, down the road ahead
If it hurts at all, you ain't showed it yet
I keep lookin' for the slightest sign
That you might miss, what you left behind
I know there's nothin' stoppin you now
But I'd settle for a slowdown
I held on longer than I should
Believin' you might change your mind
And those bright lights of Hollywood
Would fade in time
But your wheels just turn, down the road ahead
If it hurts at all, you ain't showed it yet
You're just a tiny dot, on that horizon line
Come on tap those brakes, baby just one time
I know there's nothin' stoppin' you now
I'm not asking you to turn back around
I'd settle for a slowdown
Come on just slowdown
I'd settle for a slowdown
I guess you wouldn't understand....
let go lightly
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 14 March :: 2.53pm
I'm just too far, from where you are, I wanna come home.
UGGHGHHGGHg
i dont even know what i'm doing anymore. my grades are getting so bad and this college class i'm taking is/was a ridiculous idea and i have another test today and i dont feel like going because i know im' going to fail it. there's no doubt so why even waste my time i wish i could just drop out of it.
there's no point especially because im not even going to college. just cosmetology school but then again i could always go college later in life so i dont want to fuck everything up but it will be anyway because i'm going to fail all the tests. i passed the last one but that was only because i duno... it was just better.
and yeah i guess the only good thing going on is roman is probably finally getting a car. this rowe city auto place in jackson has all their cars 40 thou and less miles and all 2000 or newer. how good is that? i know i feel like there must be a catch but we've both each called them twice and verified that that is really true and everything and he is actually there right now so hopefully everything works out.
please...
and i am just sick of pretty much everything. i want an apartment and i want to be done with school and my counter disapeered on my woohu page so now i lost track of how many days are left and it's upsetting me.
I wanna go home but oh wait I already am.
Yeah does that make any sense.
Hey would anyone do me a big favor and just comment to me and say something even just hi but not anything mean.
I want to cry and i have no drive.
my 6-8 page essay is due in 6 days and ta-daa i haven't even started it at all.
in fact, my works cited isn't even turned in. i just want to leave school. i wish i could and still graduate. but.
yeah. congratulations: a loser. So how do you like me now?
And seriously, how would you fill in these blanks? It's ridiculous... Just seriously even TRY
Always keep ________ your ________ on your phaser.
That doesn't even gramatically make any sense. Fuck!
4 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
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tuwang
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2006 14 March :: 12.28am
I feel like ranting...
I think I've decided that I totally, and completely hate people of religion, for the most part... well, that's tough to say and is pretty broad so let me do this by expample...
por ejemplo:
I am talking with someone about something. Doesn't matter what subject. Talking talking talking... "Do you pray?"
BAM!!! you don't even see it coming, has nothing to do with anything. It's just that they've been told to get other people to join so they can get enough money to have their lazer tag party and haven't yet figured out how to ease their way into the subject. So instead they charge in like a member of an old germanic tribe and ask you " Do you pray?"
Well, I'm not one to stay on this subject because I only become depressed or angered... so I say " Yes ". I promptly get the response. " Oh, thank goodness..."
Now hang on a minute... what the hell is that supposed to mean? Does that mean that if I don't pray you're pretty sure I'm a bad person and that you've wasted the past 15 minutes having a decent conversation with a human being? Because , heaven forbid, you have a conversation with a mere mortal... And why can't you just say thank god anyway? Are you so scared of this obniscient being that you can't even thank him? It's not like you're dropping a GD... which I can understand being upset over.
And then you get filled with stories about how they had some experience with jesus and a mirror... always with jesus and a mirror...
and lately to me, it seems like everyone is joining the godly bandwagon. Which means I'm either missing something or I'm just dumb. or both. And with girls especially. It seems really difficult to communicate with a godly girl. They just seem to be too high up there and so good that you can't talk to them. And they probably won't talk to you. And it's mostly girls jumping on this god band wagon. It's really depressing when girls won't talk to you because you aren't godly enough, or look at you wierd because you are very open to not godly things. I mean, I'm not going around, jerking off, having sex with whores, doing heroine, and swearing... or atleast all at once... ( that's a joke , to all you bible thumpers)
And really, I'm all for freedom of speech, freedom of religion, ect... but I mean, stop using it as a means of judgement. It's like a competition... everyting is a god damn competition...
That's another thing, I hate competition. Yet I do it. Or atleast I'm always trying to compete. It's just aggrivating. I can't just let things go... I just get in that zone and I want people to say, oh he's good, but it doesn't happen because I'm not at alot of the things I compete in.
and now I've gone and pissed kelly off
(P.S. kelly, I can't go in anyway, because technically I'm not here)
Is there ladies out that that won't press religion on me and won't compete with me? that would be nice...
22 hold on tightly |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 13 March :: 7.37pm
soooooooooooooo.
yeah.
3 hold on tightly |
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JediBumblebee
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2006 13 March :: 6.02pm
Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie dolls for the Metro Grand Rapids Market:
Hudsonville Barbie: This born again version of the previous Barbie comes with a New Testament Bible. Her hands are flexed in the praise position and she gazes upward. While she drives a mini van, it comes with 3 different bumper stickers, Choose Life, Jesus is My Co-Pilot, and WJQ 99.3. As a bonus, she comes with a Crissy doll who was student of the month at the Home Schooled Society.
Cascade Barbie: Has freshness date on package. Do not buy after that date or product may be spoiled rotten. Comes with no appreciation for how the other 95% live. Does not have career or an idea of what makes her happy. When bought in conjunction with Hard Working Ken, she will change her appearance . . .will gain 75 lbs., will cut her hair, and belittle anyone who crosses her. No one, including Ken, is right, ever. Ken's head melts after 17 years.
Sparta Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler Jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six-pack of BUD long-necks, and a Hank Williams, Jr., CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can kick mullet-haired Kenny doll's ass when she's drunk. Purchase her pick-up separately and get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free. Comes with personal concealed gun license.
East Grand Rapids Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with a choice of a BMW sports car or a souped-up H2. Included is her Starbucks cup, credit cards, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
Wyoming Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Sparta Barbie's house. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through halter top. Accessories include a CD player equipped with Bon Jovi CD and a rusty old Ford pickup.
Plainfield Barbie: This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was released in 1982. She comes with shoulder pads, dark polyester skirt, white pantyhose, and a bad haircut.
Heritage Hill Barbie: This doll, made of actual tofu, has long gray hair and arch less feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup, doesn't shave, and has a mutt. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She thinks Paul Wellstone was a Republican.
Rockford Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Lexus SUV or Chrysler Town & Country minivan. Her vehicle is used for youth athletic taxi service only. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
Grandville Barbie: This collagen-injected, rhino-plastic Barbie wears a leopard-print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends at the club. Limited clothing available. Designer mini-skirts and CFM's constitute 90% of her wardrobe. Percocet prescription available. Elderly Ken completes this set. The pre-nup papers are as worthless as the Chinese-made paper they are printed on.
Comstock Park Barbie: This model is only available at the JC Penney Catalog Store or at any parochial school bazaar. It cannot be purchased on Saturday night (because of Trivia nights) or on Sundays (Sunday school class). It comes with a case of Stroh?s Beer, pork steaks, a recipe for Hash Brown Casserole, a 1987 Plymouth Voyager, and one cell phone (circa 1982, big as a toaster) with 15 anytime minutes. She is wearing the latest fashion from Big Lots that she wore on Easter Sunday. It also comes with Ken wearing the latest U of M T-shirt (two sizes too small), a sack of White Castles, and a 72 ounce Big Gulp.
Grand Rapids Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows, and her own Meth Lab kit. This Barbie also comes with 6 children by four different Kens.
4 hold on tightly |
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sugarmouse0587
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2006 13 March :: 1.02pm
:: Music: jack's mannequin-the mixed tape
oh how i hate piano. do do do do do.
nevermind though. i've got bigger fish to fry.
i'm declaring my major monday the next.
i'm doing dsk, big brothers/big sisters and the walk for the homeless.
and i guess i'm going to be voulenteering at the hospital in endoscopy with my dad. and safe on campus when i get ahold of dorris dirks.
no job yet, but at least i'll have things to get into grad school. and i have a place to live. zimmerman: room G15. it's close to the SRC. and that's good for me.
surgury on april 11th. fun fun.
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holiday
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2006 12 March :: 9.20pm
Well, I guess I can say something now!
Charlie and I are having a baby! <3
And we're really excited.
We told his mom and sister tonight, and I could not have a better family. They are so loving and wonderful, I can't believe it. I just...They are so great! :-)
I love you Charlie!
12 hold on tightly |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 12 March :: 12.05pm
so roman's birthday and our 2 year anniversary was yesterday.
it was fun and now i probably... more like definetely wont see him until march 31st.
yeah so great.
and in other news i dont know
3 hold on tightly |
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spud
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2006 12 March :: 10.23am
:: Mood: shitshitshit
fluffy bunnies and rainbows?
sorry about the previous post. had i known that it would be that big a bother, i wouldn't have posted it.
somebody else sent it to me, and i figured i'd share it with those of you who appreciated it.
apologies to those who didn't.
LAN party right now. college later. anal rape soon to follow college.
just thought you ought to know.
8 hold on tightly |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 10 March :: 10.51pm
I'm so invisible all the time.
1 hold on tightly |
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tuwang
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2006 10 March :: 7.44pm
I thought that I would find out what I really am... and this is the shit I get...
no help at all...
3 hold on tightly |
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holiday
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2006 10 March :: 10.57am
242 days
and
17 days
and
12 1/2 hours
and
I love you :-)
let go lightly
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