[(Hold Me For All Time)]

[(Hold Me For All Time)]

:: 2004 15 November :: 11.36am

I think this poem fits alot of people n i wanted to post it.

Have you ever

Have you ever lived my life?
Spent one minute in my shoes?
If you haven't then tell me why
you judge me as you do.

Have you ever woken up in the morning
Wondering if this was your last day on Earth?
Have you ever left your house
Unsure if you'd return?

Have you ever seen your friend get shot
Outside his favorite store?
Have you ever seen a friend die
From drugs he'd never used before? ((playboy Ryan))

Have you ever seen your mom get beat up
By your stepdad messed up on booze?
Have you ever had an unwanted pregnancy
Forcing you to choose?

Have you ever sat beneath the stars
Hoping God will hear?
Have you ever seen your friend drive away
after one to many beers?

Have you ever had a friend
Experiment with weed?
Have you ever covered up guilt
By doing a good deed?

Have you ever considered suicide
As the only way?
Have you ever tried to hide yourself
Behind the things you say?

Have you ever wanted to protect
Your friends and everyone in sight?
Have you ever felt such pain
That you cried yourself to sleep at night?

Have you ever lived me life?
Spent one minute in my shoes?
If you haven't then tell me why
You judge me as you do.

-written by Tiffany Blevins

and zac to answer ur question from the rude comment u left yes i would care if u died 'cause no matter how much u hate me or give a shit less about me n no matter how much i might be hurt by things u say or not want to talk to u u were my bestfriend at one point in my life and if would hurt if u God forbid past away...also to me it doesnt matter how bad you hate me or hurt me i never wish death on someone or want someone dead.

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strawberrie

:: 2004 14 November :: 6.10pm
:: Mood: sad/confused
:: Music: nothing

WOW
Rest in Peace
Scott J. Harris
u r missed and loved very much.

i cant take it anymore...ive never actully been related with people who have past and since this summer its all changed...

Matthew Debien-5.24.04
Holly-07.7.04
Bambina Nella Sucich<3-07.21.04
Ryan((playboy))-a little over a week ago
-n-
Scott J. Harris-11.14.04

-and to all of you who will sit their with the thoughts that i dont know shit about Scotty i do...for the fact that when i moved here they were the first people that talked to me and chilled with me and it does hurt...to an extent...im so sorry Jordan and your family..<3-

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innocence

:: 2004 12 November :: 3.32pm
:: Mood: anxious

::::
WoOt WoOt...iTs LaUrEn*....dani* and i are gonna fuckin have an awesomee weekendd..No DoUbT...Trying to sound gangsta again haha....my parents went awayy and we chillen at my houseee...gonna get our drink on....last weekend it was only 2days and one night...and only 4 movies...this time its 3 days and 2 nights...like a mini vacation away from home for her at my house lol..i luvv her...now we can have like triplee even quadruple times the movies to watch...FuCkiN RoCks...she just left to go home to clean and shit and i miss her already haha...she had to walk home in the rain poor babyy :-( .... her facce was all wet and only her left foot was knumb...shore it wasnt left nut hahaha....candyy is mad good yoo...i feelll whoopiee already lolol...well we will update again later about how much fun we are having lol....lovv yaaa

LiFe CaN Be GoOd..OnlY at ThEsE tiMes ThOuGh WiT uR hOmiEs!!
-LaUrEn*

Hold on

heartsbroken

:: 2004 12 November :: 12.36am
:: Music: welcome to my life

the way to pass is to sleep in class

Algebra 2 - B
Life management skills - B
English 2 - B
Television Pro. - A
Biology 1 - A
Eurhythmics 1 - A
World history honors - B

December 6.....the world as i know it ENDS.... greeeeaaaatttt

- would you rather be paralyzed or blind??-
----- i would rather just die..... but you dont always get what you want....thats just the way it is-------

*michelle
<3 erik <3

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heartsbroken

:: 2004 8 November :: 7.09pm
:: Mood: aggravated

ahh i love this shit!

Tests From last Monday came back Positive... I have to go see ANOTHER specialist.

A
N
Y
W
A
Y
S

Eric wants to meet my MOM...scary hahah w/e.. i met his family... HUGE!!! lol

doin good besides the whole doctor thing lol w/e

<3michelle

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strawberrie

:: 2004 8 November :: 6.34pm

A - Age:15
B - Bra Size: this real cute chick with a real big D cup!
C - Career in future: working with children
D - Dad's name:Abraham
E - Easiest person to talk to: Nikki n mich
F - Favorite song at the moment: Over and Over again--Tim Mcgraw n Nelly n Welcome to my life--Simpleplan
G - Guy/Girls you're madly in love with: shh.
H - Hometown:Brooklyn NY
I - I'd like to own:a car
J - Job title: ...
K - Kids: i want a boy n then a girel n i want them to be like 10 months to 1 year apart
L - Longest car ride ever: umm 2 either marco island or lake city
M - Mom's name: Yvonne
N - Number of people you've slept with: 0
O - Oldest sibling: Nicole, 19
P - Phobia[s]: having my arms unmovable aligators n sharks
Q - Quote you like:" Yeah i've been hurt..but i remain strong me have regrets...ya dead wrong..'cause u gotta take chances your whole life...[L] [o] [N] [g]!"
R - Right hand or left: righty
S - Song at the moment: O&O again-TM n Nelly n WTML--simpleplan
T - Time you wake up: on school days 5:45 or 6:05
U - Unknown fact about me: im not as happy as i may seem
V - Vegetable you hate: brocolii
W - Worst habit: taking things to personal,talking bad about my self
X - X-rays you've had:on my teeth!
Y - Yummy food:lots
Z - Zodiac sign: gemini

haha i took this from u Britt!

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strawberrie

:: 2004 8 November :: 6.12pm

got kicked off cheerin' but i think imma get back on...i hope

grounded...kinda ...confusion n to long to type also not everyones bussiness.

Sean wanted to chill this weekend...didn't happen 'cause i wasnt with Nikki...weird i know! lol umm had no voice....n still dont

that's it

--Abandond one.

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heartsbroken

:: 2004 1 November :: 8.56pm
:: Mood: aggravated

fuckin doctors
I went to the doctors today... first i went to the blood doctor...finaly got to meet the REAL doctor and not the afganistan assistances...the took my blood and for the first time my platelets came back normal so that was good... but then she starts askin me about some test and im like what are you talkin about ... aparently when i was in the hospital not all the tests came back negative.... some shit came back positive so they were suposed to do follow up tests and never told me about it.... so they took more blood and i get the results back by thursday prob.

then went to the allergist.... im already takin 5 pills a day and now he added another kind! hes like ohh this pill is safe balh blah blah,, im reading the shit for it
Most common side effects are:
1. stomach pain ( yeah i already get that all the time thanks ass hole i did need it worse)
2.heartburn
3.tierdness ( fuckin ass hole did i not tell him that the 3 sleeping pills a day are hard enough to stay awake with!)
4.fever
5. stuffy nose ( fuckin ass i just had a stuffy nose for 2 weeks!)
6.cough (ive had a cough for over 2 weeks now dont need it worse!)
7. flu
8. dizziness ( yeah great the other medicines already do that to me)
9. headache( yeah the other shit does that to)
10. rash... (hummmm arnt i trying to get rid of a heat rash!)

ok so thats real safe huhh that 10 major side effects but thats not all thats listed for the most common....
so theres also 22 less common side effects ...
so heres a few of the less common side effects:
1.aggressive behavior ( first ine on the fuckin list... and its gunna make me crazy gggreeaaaatttt)
2.hives ( hummm.. again arnt i treating that with all this medicine...makes lots of fuckin sense huhh?)
3.bad/vivid dreams..( yeah fuck face i already got that .. i dont need it worse)
4.increased bleeding and bruising( witch means lower platelets... witch means so fuckin much for gettin it normal for once)
5. ( heres my favorite one... if you thought the aggressive behavior would make me seem crazy ahahahaha)....hllucinations ( haha im already doing things out of no where and not remember doing it at all mine as well have me see things)
6. irritability( got that hahah.... im gunna have PMS 24/7 )
7. joint pain,muscle aches( got that already 24/7)
8. pins and needles/numbness ( already get that more often then normal )
9.restlessness ( gggreeaaaatttt)
10. seizures
11. trouble sleeping (yeah already got that .. even with the 3 sleeping pills i have trouble sleeping.... its called a sleeping disorder! )

yeah so i swear the asshole is tryin to kill me! sayin this shit is mostly safe! it causes all the things its suposed to cure if you read allll the side effects! hahah so this is gunna be fun!

but anyways! i had a great weekend .. friday after the game i chilled w/ erik at the beach and a few people... then sat homecoming and chilled w/ erik again... the sun. went trick or treating drunk and then FINALLLYYY CHILLED W/ HEATHER!!!!!

but ummm yeah im really starting to like erik and he already told me he likes me so yeah.... something good might actully happen for michelle!

well all the pills are starting to kick in so im gunna go to sleep!

*-michelle-*
*crushin*

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innocence

:: 2004 1 November :: 5.35pm

hehehahahahlalal

hidey ho f-ckers. whats up!?!

well, this has been one incredible weekend.. i dont even know where to begin. let me see....

friday was a half day, got outta school at 943. met up with a SHITLOAD of people, then lauren, duane, and juana came over and i did laurens hair. that night my father took me to an AA party thing, and there was this woman who looked like my mom, really reminded me of my mother, i cried .. a lot. then we picked up carly, i was soo happy. i hadn't smiled like that in SO long. so we went back to my aunt dees house n just chilled for a while, we were tired as fuck so we went to bed.

saturday.. my birthday woop woop! sweet 16. lets see, giuseppe didnt show up, but i had a blast anyway. *jimmy was there and i had a lot of fun, had a limbo contest, chilled w/ my family and friends, danced my butt off... much fun. i had green paint all over my face tho when i got a kiss goodbye. thanks jimmy lol. _________'s girlfriend got tooore uppp, she looked horrible, glad to hear shes better now tho. jimmy got me a nie present, it had my name on it, its cool, got loads of cash, and a really cool ring thx cici. all in all fun day, i missed my mom tho, i really wish she coulda been there.

sunday was a b e a utiful day, played volleyball.. got my ass kicked, but it was fun. went to mandees for a lil bit then my gram mad carly and i a nice lasagna dinner, yumm yumm. then i had to send my baby off to the airport, i miss you already carly..

found out giuseppe's single! WOOT! lol, and i also like this other kid.. but we'll see what happens, hopefully something goes good for me. jimmy and rob were suppoised to play vball w/ us sun, but we all had a miscommunication, then jimmy invited me to the movies w/ his grl *says rob*. who knows?? but john wants to get online, so i gotta go. i didnt get into much detail, but ill finsh later xoxoxoxo..

cruuushin'

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heartsbroken

:: 2004 30 October :: 11.40am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE

ill call you later when i have my cell phone
<3 you

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strawberrie

:: 2004 28 October :: 8.37pm

Got my homecoming dress hollla!!!!!!!!

Hold on

innocence

:: 2004 27 October :: 8.58pm
:: Music: mario bros theme

im talking to marrioo! oh how i miss that kid. <33

birthdays on saturday -- not even looking forward to it!! well sorta.. but even more than that....

im looking forward to friday night -- 2 days! ill see you in two days babe-ay!! xoxoxo

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strawberrie

:: 2004 24 October :: 8.20pm
:: Music: welcome to my life

whats been happpppenin\'

Hey sorry for the lack of updates but ive been busy with school cheerin' n chillin' lol nothing really interesting is happenin' latly but umm heres my weekend.

Friday--Went to Fright nights its was straight it was me <3nikki stacy joe andrew morgan<3 n supposed to be katie but she left n went off with mich n kaitlyn soo w/e umm it was straight went on like all the rides missed 1 haunted house tho...umm we went in this one haunted house called "Afraid of the dark" and andrew knew one of the guys that works in the fog tunnel so its pitch black and foggy n he starts goin' hi joe hi nikki n we all flipped out n shit n then there was this guy n i got scared n ran one way n their was another guy over there so i turned around n ran smack into nikkis mouth got a biggg not of my head but w/e it was fun lol. Then we went on the Haunted Heyride n fuckin decided to sit on the back n we had people behind us n on both sides of us n i was soo scared idk why but this one ladys hair hit me n i was like ur hair hit me thats touching me stoppp n she did it again n i was like shakin n nikki goes "HEATHER chill" so the ladys like heatherrrrrr its ok heatherrrrr dont be scared heatherrrr n im like imma have nightmares n shes like ill be in ur dreamsssss heatherrrrr n finally left ughh i had tears in my eyes n then this other lady jumped on n andrew goes see u done pissed em off its all ur fault n then the lady goes ITS ALLL THIER FAULT n 50 people ran at us n one guy was blowin on mine n nikkis neck its was some freaky shit lol anyways then we went back to stacys n randy had picked us up n on the way there fuckin' this drunk ass dude was swirving back n fourth n almost hit us n we looked in n he was straight chuggin' vodka lol he got pulled over it was funny...got to stacys had girel talk n went to bed at like 2:30....

Saturday-- woke up at like 10 made a barbaque ha that shit was funny then we took out her moms car n got some sodas n then we went on the main road ((me her n nikki)) n went to the gas station n got some shit n went back to her house joe picked us up n it was me nikki stacy joe andrew morgan n we started chillin' drinkin' frank n nickycame over ((Nikki got dissedddd lol love ya girely)) drank a lil n then nikki left stacy stayed at joes n i went to pasco's chilled therei felt really pretty everyone was hittin' on me mike took me home tried to kiss me got dissed lol love ya mike n yeahh umm

Sunday-- woke up at like 10:15 Stac called n around like 1:30 me n nikki went over to joes it was me nikki stacy andrew morgan n then mike these 2 girels came n eric came wayy later n then nicky n catrina...but umm yeah we went to mcdonalds n stacy got pused in a target cart my joe it was so funny one of those had to be their things n then we had a food fight in mickey d's saw ALEX RITCHE she works there god i havent seen her in forever...she say hi dani!! miss ya girely ur b-day is in 6 days hehehe umm home coming in 6 days gotta get a dress but back to today all in all mike to me home but yeah now im here talking to jill-e-beans havent talked to her in a lonnnng time n i get to see her at homecoming...yay! umm i feel like me n michelle arnt friends anymore but not gettin' in to that n me n jess arnt close at all no more but also not gettin in to that oh yeah at joes today i got passedout n i was convulsing n my eyes were wide open n when i came back i thought i was sleepin n i was shaking n all numb it was freakkkky shit but thats it for now xoxoxo*

--1 ladii (me) 1 thug (wishin' for sean) 1 life (holla) 1 love(xoxox to all my friends)--

Heather Lauren

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innocence

:: 2004 24 October :: 4.24pm
:: Music: in my daughters eyes

well ill start off this entry by saying how PISSED i am bc i was in the middle of writing my entry and the computer went cooky on me and erased it all.. damn computers

well, first off, i miss carly, a lot. and i feel like i dont talk to her anymore and we're drifting.. really drifting. i thought she would be the only one that really made an effort to kit with me, and she is, but i feel like we dont talk as much and like shes mad at me. are u mad at me carly??

other than that, ive been setting up for my birthday party. friday is a half day, 815 - 932 .. yupp only 80 minutes, then that night i get carly from the airport and we go to my uncles, then saturday is my paarty.

oh and get this bullshit, jfk sent my aunt a letter saying that there was money that needed to be paid. they said there was an emergency breathing procedure used for my mom before she was put into icu. the thing is, THE ONLY REASON THE PROCEDURE WAS DONE WAS BECAUSE MY MOM WAS FOUND ON THE FLOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITHOUT OXYGEN. ITS NOT OUR FUCKING FAULT THAT U FUCKERS AT JFK DIDNT TAKE CARE OF MY MOM LIKE U WERE PAID TO DO. U SHOULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING HER LIKE HAWKS, BUT YOU WERENT. THATS WHY MY MOM DIED, BECAUSE U FUCKS COULDNT WATCH HER, UR ONLY JOB WAS TO MAKE SURE SHE WAS IN HER BED WITH OXYGEN, BUT YOU CANT EVEN HANDLE THAT. WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT SHE WS FOUND ON THE FLOOR, I WANTED TO KILL EVERY NURSE THAT EVER TOOK CARE OF MY MOTHER. AND NOW U WANT ME TO PAY FOR AN OPERATION THAT WAS ONLY DONE BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY, BECAUSE OF YOUR CARELESSNES.. .NO I DONT THINK SO. i have so much anger towards you, and i swear the first stop i make in florida will be jfk hospital, n it will be a visit you will never forget

other than that, i am completely head over heals with this guy, but i think he has a girlfriend, im actually pretty positive he has a girlfriend. whatever, shit never works out for me anyway.

but now im so mad i lost my train of thought and forgot what the rest of my entry was going to be about. soo im out..

girl.. i love you

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strawberrie

:: 2004 21 October :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: tv

holla
Tomorrow night= fright night with the "peeps"

Tonight= lots of overrrrr do <3 - <3's!!

can't waittt peaceeee

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