[(Hold Me For All Time)]

:: 2005 20 April :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: staind

longg timeee

wassup!?! well its been a year and a day since i updated. yes i know ive been neglecting woohu but i guess its because i have a myspace now too and that thing has something new everyday, plus ive been completely bombarded with plans and homework. anyway, heres whats been happenin'.

so there was this kid at my school named bobby that i thought was pretty hot and i told myself that before the end of the year i would go up to him, tell him he's hot and just have that be that, just so i know i did it lol. i ended up finding him on myspace and we've been talking ever since. no, i dont like him or anything, i just think its kinda weird yet cool, and im glad we're talking bc he seems like a fun person to chill with. anyway, so yea, ive been talkin to him a lot and we're gonna chill soon.

friday after school lauren came over. we all ordered chinese because i wanted it lol =) .. then john drove me paul and lauren to my school play [grease]. when we got there we got seats, thanks to paul we were in row X out of A-Y lol. we had the bitchiest lady sitting in front of us, i wanted to ring her neck.. the play in itself was okay, some of the singing could have been better and they took out good parts of the movie, but for a francis lewis school play, it was good. i saw shannon there, haha that was a trip.. then john picked us up, we "rolled out" to some funny songs, dropped lauren off, and then headed home.

saturday morning lauren came over. we just hung around for the most part, i did my homework n shit. john came home around 1 and brought home some sandwiches so we all had lunch. then after that john washed his car outside and blasted the music while me and lauren played volleyball in the street. it was great, we listened to all sorts of music, then we did the electric slide haha fun fun. then me lauren and john went to the store and got shit to barbeque. we got back home, put on music in the jeep, john cooked, we played volleyball, then we ate. after dinner john took me and lauren to college point movie theater so we could see amityville horror. bobby called about 10 min before it started bc he just got off work n wanted to chill, but he wasnt able to get to the theater on time, so i told him id call after the movie.. fuckin annoying ass people sitting behind us, the whole row full, i swear i know their life story now. after amityville -- which was a kickass movie - laurens pops took us back to my house. we called bobby back, he was going to play pool and invited us, but my ride was a tad too drunk to drive me and it was getting late anyway. so we went back to my house, talked for a lil while and then passed out.

sunday we woke up around 10, had breakfast, lauren went home to shower n shit, then she came back.. we did each others hair, had leftover chinese food for lunch, watched the italian job and oceans 11. then we researched the amityville horror bc we were bored, that shits whack. aroudn 630 my pops picked us up and took us to get pizza and italian ices, it was okay i guess. then we dropped off lauren and i went back home.

we had some guy over this wk to fix our computers, mine crashed, aunt lee had 500 viruses, and pauls was fixed already. i got a new computer and thats the story. this friday im gonna chill w/ bobby, lauren and a shitload of other people and play pool for bobs birthday. [happy 17th]. then lauren leaves me and idk what im gonna do during the week.

i guess thats about it, oh yea, im still not over him. : \ whatever
good luck in orlando ECE!!..

two days left :: then SPRING BREAK!
woot

:: 2005 3 April :: 9.59pm
:: Music: daddy yankee - gasolina

its been a while

Yo Yo! Well its been forever and a day since I wrote in here .. sorry .. Ive been so busy dilly dallying with my myspace and doing homework every time im online. Anyway, I'll try to pick it up where i left off, but i cant promise ill hit every detail.
WARNING :: Long Entry :: :p

Saint Patricks day was great! At school we were supposed to dress up in green. Me being me, I went all out. I got a cat in the hat ype of hat with green nd white stripes. On the white stripes, there were green clovers. I had a green tinsel thingy wrapped arond my neck, 2 clovers glued next to my eyes, green shirt, stickers all over my body and jeans and shoes, a lei wrapped around my waist, and an irish flag. For a real italian girl I went CraZy. So that was fun !!

I honestly dont remember what i did for the rest of the weekend or the nxt week. But we got report cards, letter grades, not number grads. I got 5 "s'' and 3 "e". i did alright i guess.. Easter was good, family came over, fun times. I bought a volleyball. :) Bookd my flight for florida :D .. I saw hostage, pretty good movie. uhh the scleroderma walk is in june nd im trying to get as many sponsors as possible so please sponsor me..

all these things are in random order bc i cant remember nething special that i did. LAtely me laur and john have been going to 194 and playing volleyball after school which has been fun.. Rob made a mix for me.. hung out w/ mike and shannon after school... hug w/ rob andd kris fri night nd sat n still lookin for houses.

WHOAH -- had a great day friday 9th pd -- wont get into it .. but -- WHOAH lol

I <3 you .. how do you still have ALL of me

cant remember nething else, maybe i will by next entry. peace

:: 2005 29 March :: 3.07pm

Quizzes
Heres some quizes 'cause im sick n bored!!

You scored as Goofy. Your alter ego is Goofy! You are fun and great to be around, and you are always willing to help others. You arn't worried about embarrassing yourself, so you are one who is more willing to try new things.

Goofy
69%
Cinderella
69%
Peter Pan
56%
Donald Duck
50%
The Beast
44%
Sleeping Beauty
44%
Cruella De Ville
38%
Ariel
38%
Pinocchio
38%
Snow White
25%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

Beer
Beer

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

-Yerp-

7 Held on | Hold on

:: 2005 21 March :: 8.47pm
:: Music: story of the year - ntil the day i die

lalal

going to florida!! June 30 - July 14. I cannot freaking wait. woop bring em out bring em out.

fl aint ready

2 Held on | Hold on

heartsbroken

:: 2005 1 March :: 3.04pm

last weekend was great! friday i spent the night at Kts and we had a "girls"night but we ended up hangin out w/ these 3 black boys.. and omg they were sooooo funny ... sat (my b-day) i went to my competition then wess picked me up and we got trashed at his house. sunday didnt do anything but go to kts house.. i was only upset i didnt get to see my heather.. for my birthday my mom got me a mustang.............................Hotwheels lol.. were lookin for a car for me so if anyone knows about any nice cheap cars let me know..i almost got a job but ididnt cuz i cant work every saturday.. my mom said if i can get my dad to help w/ the car she will pay for my insurance and gas for a year and i can get a job and save money then.

Hold on

:: 2005 27 February :: 8.55pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: linkin park - reanimation cd

filling you in

Well, this week there was no school because we had mid-winter recess so it was pretty cool, the only things that sucked were that 1. i was madd sick and 2. it went by madd fast. anyway, heres the break down of what happened WARNING: long entry

friday after school i came home and lauren was at my house. i got home and dont think i was in the best of moods. i started to clean up all the glitter on the floor from my english project and lauren and my gramma helped me, then i had some oreos. After that john came home and he brought me and lauren to wendys, i had been craving it for the longest time, anyway, so he brought us to wendys and we ordered so much damn food they made us park for it. and of course they still didnt get everything we ordered. bastards of course they forgot my meal. we stopped at abbie doos to get lotto tix and candy for the movie. We got back home and ate and then john brought me, lovie and paul to the movies to see Constantine oh lord -- sick ass moviee! Then Laurens momma brought us home. tankies Rose <33

Saturday morning i called laur bc she was coming w/ me to my dads. she came over around 11 or so, then she ironed my hair for me <33 and gram came down bitching as usual. After that laur me paul and john watched "Master of Disguise" and then my dad showed up. He brought us to fishtown and he got two clownfish, one that looked like nemo and one that was black and white, soo cute! it only took 2 hours lmfao. pain in my ass. After that we went back to his house to celebrate his birthday. Dick and Kelly came over and danielle was declared slave again, me and lauren watched a cinderella story - lordy cmm is gorgeous! then we watched fear of the dark and tower of blood, i fell asleep during tower of blood tho. the start to my movie marathon!

sunday was brunch with my family. me, lauren, grammy kat, cynthia, uncle terry, aunt lauren, uncle jake, and my pops all went out to eat for brunch. was good i loved my fruit cup and of course eggs benny. The waiter patrick was adorable hehe. He "taught" or at least tried to teach us how to fold napkins the professional way, but i think he was nervous lmfao. When cynthia was ready to leave everybody left and then lauren came back to my house, we ordered pizza and watched like 15 min of freaky friday. after that me lauren john and aunt lee all played texas holdem, aunt lee won. and then me and john went to carvel and then lauren went home. it was a fun night, oh yea, and we also did some damage on our movie candy.

monday i just hung around the house, watched tv, movies, usual stuff. i went food shopping with johnny boy and just relaxed, was a nice stress free day

tuesday i went to my cousin kristinas house. we got candy for the movie wednesday and watched a few good men w/ rob and willy. they made me a sandwich [whipsht .. *whip sound*] lol jk jk We played ddrmax and cards. We had pizza for dinner again and watched american idol [go carrie and amanda] we had a balloon game going which was actually fun haha. playeed work, talked and decided that we could not think of one adjective/characteristic that does not describe my family, it was soo weird. slept over.. passed out around 12.

wednesday we woke up around 8, got ready, did some more ddrmax and then went to pick up the grls for the movie. we pickeed up amanda, lauren, then alex and krista. We went to cp movie theatre and saw because of winndixie, to my surprise it was a cute movie. After that we went to 711 and all got slurpees and then headed back to kristinas house. we all played twister and ddrmax and nancy drew and just dilly dallyed. we watched american idol again and then we startd a game on sims2 making a family lol its so funny. we only did it til about 11 tho cuz we were extremely tired so we went to bed early again.

thursday we woke up around 11 and got ready and stuff, kristina packed cuz she was coming to my house and then we played more on sims two and kristina had twins lolol. u had to be there to see this thing have a baby. after that we finally got to my house and me and kris met up w/ lauren and jess to go to johnnysto get our nails done and there was the most annoying ppl there i wantd to shoot myself. the nails took forever and after that john picked us up and we ordered chinese food, then the grls came back over and we played holdem and i won. after that we went to bed

friday me and kristina hung around the house, watched movies and tv, played on the computer, read a lil bit, and just relaxed again, was another good day

saturday we played sims for the duration of the day, got our family going.. gram made soup for us all so we went upstairs to eat, after dinner me, kris, rob, paul, aunt lee and john all watched the village and the seventh sign. i was coughin up a lung bc at this point im xtremely sick. so we watched the movies and then after a while i tried to go to bed. btw the village was retardeddd! lol

today we were all supposed to go out to breakfast but of course i was too sick to go so my loving cuz kristina stayeed home with me and we did hw for a lil bit then played sims and watched a lil beetlejuice. they brought me back eggs benny from ihop <33 and around 1230 rob and kris left. after that i layed around on the couch while john and aunt lee went to look at a house in ronkonkama [dont that sound familiar lauren??] and we'll know whats going on w/ the house tomorrow. fingers crossed! i didnt have dinner, took a shower, did my labs and have been bummin it ever since. still not feeling that great but imma go to school tomorrow. but i should try to get to bed, school tomorrow. much love. mommy i love and miss you

its so weird, my aunt says she knows my moms visiting me at night bc the nights i sleep in my room my aunt can smell my moms perfume but when im not home it never smells like that. she even kept the bathroom door closed to make sure it wasnt the air freshner shit. soo weird, but i believe it. god how i miss her

and lauren, u gotta admit it was weird, everything that relatd to truffle. i mean kelly said something about the age 21, then a shitload of billyjoel songs, then cant hurry love, then the song that comes on the second we get in my dads car is mr brightside - his fave song. i mean holy shit, then a main character in the seventh signs name was jimmy... oye vey. oh yea and the real estate agents name is jim.. im going nuts haha. well im out much love, and i miss alll the fl ppl!

c u soon!

xoxox

| x o x o | d a n i |

:: 2005 23 February :: 9.46pm

work= no fun!!

cept.......Ashley is mucho-funny

thanks for the ride sweetie it sucks ur leaving imma be lost!!!!

tomorrow training again... same time but with Nikki umm yeahh well see how that is

Brett is a big fat ? n i hate it....

got an e-mail from Rachael n im beat...off to bed....

<3 Heather

6 Held on | Hold on

:: 2005 22 February :: 8.42pm
:: Music: rich girel-gwen stephanie

update
well well here's a brief!! update 'cause i have a shit load of homework to do......

got a job :-]]

got my grades up 5 A'z 1 B -n- a C

Been Chillin' with Nikki of course Josh Brooke n <3Brett<3 latly ughh i hate being me -n- having such a hott bestfriend untill she got a boyfriend!! lol but idk lifes goin' kinna good talk to ya'll soon......

Heather Lauren

Hold on

heartsbroken

:: 2005 20 February :: 6.31pm

i hate myself
i never thought i would hate myself but i do. i hate the way my life is going.
i miss hanging with my old friends.
i miss how close me and heather use to be . we were together everyday, we knew every little thing about each other.
i miss having my dad in my life. it was better having him in my life even though everything i thought about him was lies i was still happy.
i miss having that guy friend that i could tell EVERYTHING to.
i miss all my old friends,
i miss my old life,
i wish i could go back to any point in time before this school year because ive lost all the things that made me happy and ill never have the people i care most about back in my life the way they were before because they moved on and seem to be happy .

anyways... update...
i got really sick last week and missed a week of school so i am curently failing 5 out of 7 of my classes... next sat is my bday, im not doing anything for it cuz i really dont give a shit about my bday cuz it sucks everyyear anyways. also have a competition at santaluces next sat. hopefully i can learn all the new shit i missed while i was sick for the 2 weeks that way i dont make an ass out of mysef again.. i dyed my hair a blue black i love it! but i might dye it again soon idk... i might just dye it black so theres no blue. i havent really been doing anything.. i mostly hang out with adam now cuz hes always home and wess is always to busy with kt for me. lol i guess thats karma.

life sucks but you gatta suck it up and deal with it

-michelle

3 Held on | Hold on

:: 2005 17 February :: 6.51pm
:: Music: candy shop!

whats new w/ u?
heyy well whats up??

nm here umm heres a lil breif update 'cause im about to leave...

v-day sucked......untill Mike n John picked me n nikki mike got me this teddy bear its so cute n john got me this bracelt its really nice white gold n gold but yea not gunna get into that

john n them have been shady latly n sellin' out so not much has been goin' on but tomorrow im goin' to josh's for this thing cause the other fine assssssssss Josh their both hott but ya Josh is moving to Ohio imma miss him mucho but i gtg bye

sorry about that i got picked up but yeah back to what i was saying....

just read dee's journal well before but yeah very upsetting and mind boggling idk but im fuckin' beat so there was no point in coming back n updated or editing more

peace out

Heather!

3 Held on | Hold on

:: 2005 16 February :: 9.31pm

well whats new? valentines day sucked, but who gives a shit because ::
NEWSFLASH :: so did a shitload of other peoples

plans for the weekend fell through, figured they would and im starting to not trust who i trusted before. I realized almost everybody talks shit and when its possible for you to get caught in anything you always point fingers.. always.

Ive been sick since monday which sucks, but eh what can you do? didnt go to school today for the first day this year. Stayed in bed all day and watcched movie after movie. [italian job, oceans 11, a cinderella story, freaky friday, and getting there] My cat was with me the whole time, almost like he knew i was sick. hmph.

ive decided to MOVE ON. Theres obviously not the same amount of feeling coming from both of us, so whats the point of me wasting my time. Im not gonna dwell over a guy who isnt even worth it. Friends, yeah of course i still wanna be friends, but other than that, i expect nothing. and what ive realized is .. his loss, not mine.

The only thing i wish is that this fight between my family would get resolved because i really miss rob and joe. but foreal, i dont know why i let myself cry over a guy. A guy who is being persuaded by a bunch of people who wouldnt know the truth if it hit them on the head. but thats okay, because i have my friends and even tho theyre far away, theyre still there for me. [zach i was almost ready to say fuck everything i dont give a shit, but i just needed one push to get it overwith - and u did it, like u always do, and i love you] im finally ready to say FUCK YOU and move on.

so lets be honest now
fuck you pops for never being there for me when i needed you, and now im being there for you. it killed me for years that you werent a real father, but you know what, i cant change you and i have no desire to try. so heres my new slate. fresh and clean. i forgive you

fuck you all at jfk for not being there when my mother needed you. i cant go back, i cant make my mother here again, but i forbid to hold a grudge on you fucks who have hearts blacker then night, i forbid to let ur faults stay in the back of my mind and drag me down, i forbid to let u make me feel miserable. i forgive you

fuck you alex for being a dick, fuck you mo for being the stalker you are, fuck you mike and christine for mindfucking me, fuck you jimmy for being a tease and letting people get to you and for making me hear shit from the grapevine, but you know what. i pity you all for the bullshit you put me through. but i forgive you

fuck you you bastards who broke into my house and stole from me and my mother while she was on her deathbed. but more then disgust i have in you, i again hold pity. but because you dont matter and you never did i forgive you

and God, i hated you for taking my mother from me, i hated you for taking her the way you did, making her suffer, and me not being ready for her to leave, i hated you for the life i now live and i hated you for not letting me get one last hug, but you know what, she's in a better place, and she's happy, and she's looking down on me always. of course i want her back, but shes not coming back, and i think ive finally accepted that. and God i forgive you

and last but not least
fuck you danielle for letting all these people get to you and for spending nights crying and feeling sorry for yourself, nobodys life is perfect and nobodys ever will be. fuck you for feeling inferior and for holding on to things that cant change. fuck you for holding back feelings and not doing what you want when you want to, but even more then that, fuck you for not letting go and not being yourself. but it all doesnt matter because i forgive you

i finally forgive myself, and im finally going to take a leap and let go. i have to, because denial is no better or easier then the real deal. God help me and please help me to get through the rest of my life, dont let me sell myself short, bc that is something i do easily. help me to stand up for myself and be a strong independant woman.

forgiveness is beautiful. much love to my friends and family

8 Held on | Hold on

:: 2005 13 February :: 10.25pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: lohan - rumors

asdkfljas

____ the world. you fill in the blank.

anyway, so im not in the mood to update anybody on anything right now. I am so pissed for so many reasons I'm shaking. lauren - we NEED to talk, lets say by that one link you gave me, I found and saw a lot of information i didnt want to read and see.

i dont know what i feel, or what i should feel and frankly i dont know what to do anymore in this situation.. well im so shaken right now i cant concentrate or say what i want to say so ill just write about this when i have more self control. i dont want to say anything ill regret or anything i dont mean.

Im a strong girl who keeps my shit in line, even with tears streaming down my face i still manage to say [I m F i n e] .. fine .. freaked out, insecure, narotic, and emotional. [the italian job, so true]
love no nigga' . trust no ho'
dont allow someone to be your priority .... while allowing yourself to be their option

you gotta live your life no matter what comes along, its gonna be tough, but you gotta stay strong.

4 Held on | Hold on

:: 2005 8 February :: 9.08pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: bs - dont let me be the last to know

soooo anxious

kk. well lemme check my last few entries to see where i left off...

iight, well last weekend on friday me and lauren hung out. uhhm what did we doo?? oh yeaa haha. friday me and lauren went out to pizza classica and got some food and talked about a lot of shit, then we went to her cousins play out in long island. it was great, they performed bye bye birdie.. [we love you connnrad] [[SUFFER]] lol. I guess one of her family members wanted to "slap me in the face" because i laughed too loud or some shit, whatever. After the play we went back to laurens and passed the fuck out.

saturday we woke up around 8 because she had a dentist appointment to go to. after the dentist we went out to eat at omega. i finally got my eggs benedict which was greaat. Then we went back to my house so we could get my money and shit and then went back to her house and then we went to roosevelt field. Me and Lauren got john a valentines day present [cds] and then i got jimmys present. Its sooo nice. I got him fierce cologne w/ a keychain that has his name on it. And a cute stuffed animal and a card, im also going to get him a rose. I also got two shirts for myself from the mall. After the mall I went back home. Kristina came over and we watched A Cinderella Story --- cuuute ass movie, CMM is sooo hot! After that we played cards n stuff and went to bed.

Sunday morning was b e a utiful! Me and Kris woke up and ate breakfast, then we got in touch w/ lauren, went to abby doos and got some cards and then we met up with laur and went to bowne park. There we went on the swings nd i gave my adolecence speech, it was soo funny, good times good times. dont make me get into it hehe. After the park we went to mcdonalds for lunch and then playeed texas holdem on my grandmas patio. It was fun. after that we watched lake placid and had dinner. My cousins left and me and lauren wetn downstairs. We did our hair and watcheed the superbowl. We wnt to pick up paul around 830 and droppeed off lauren. that was about it.

hmm yesterday was school, nothing special.. days are dragging on like all hell. i guess its cuz i cant wait til sunday! i want to see him so bad but im SO nervous about seeing him, idk why, its like im scared. I duno. I cant wait, no matter what we do its gonna be fun.

Anyways, i was going to get shit off my chest, but i dont feel like complaining in this entry, soo im just gonna go and save the rest of the babble for another entry.

full week -- tomorrow go to rainbow and west coast video [gotta get something for lovie], thursday - go to johnnys with lauren n get nails done, friday - grams pickin me n lauren up to go to the city so i can get my hair done, might sleep there might not., saturday - kids should be coming over, chill w/ them, maybe s/o laurens. sunday go to a.n.s and get the flowers then head over to ronkonkamo. this week needs to go by a lil quicker - - - its only tuesday!

toodles