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2005 17 January :: 9.50pm
yakyakyak
alrighty well.. lets c, this week at school was okay i suppose. i had a meeting with my guidance counselor, we talked about regents, grades, college yadda yadda.
Friday after school i met up with lovie* and we went to her house for a little bit. Then we went to my house, i did my chores and what not, then we checked movie times, went to pizza classica and had some chicken fingers which were damn good, and then we went to go see "white noise". i thought it was a good movie, but the ending kinda ruined it. but all the people in the theatre were screamin so loud, it was hysterical.. after the movies we met up with her brother matthew and his friends anthony and nick bc they picked us up from the theatre. we started just driving around looking for .. get this :: exotic fruits haha. we got kicked outta waldbaums - thanks lovie* then we went to taco bell, and they brought us home. we wanted popcorn so we asked matt to get some, so he dropped some off and then me and lovie watched poltergeist and went to bed!!
saturday we woke up hella early to go to the dentist. we got there, lauren and rose - her mom got their appts and we played cards a lil bit - ghetto texas holdem and some blackjack, plus an intense game of war hehe. then we went to mcdonalds, had some grubb and then went to my house, after that we went back to laurens for a bit n then went to johnnys.. after that we went out. thats all ill get into with detail about that night, but it was a fun night right laur haha. i swear, the balls went crooked!! got home at 11
sunday got to sleep in, just hung around for the most part, then i found out my cousin joey was here from college so some of my family mnet up at the clintonville for dinner. that was nice, then when i got back home lauren came over. we watched poltergeist and uninvited guests with my aunt, then me and my aunt had a put down contest like cursin each other out . was pretty funny. so lauren slept over. fun night
sunday we woke up and watched bourne supremacy, got bagels, went to her house and got online for a little bit then went to this eyeglass place so i could get a pair, but too expensive for my blood lmao. then went to johnnys n back to my house. we did some homework and just hung out, then she went home and i did my own thing.
just got done talkin to jimmy lol and his ex situation. he kills me but he keeps me going i swear. i dont wanna get into it, but i still duno wtfs going on .. wish i could get in his head, but i dont wanna get into it as i just said, but hes still got me all the way. gonna get some shut eye, im out.
ended this really short, but im getin some advice from jay andd talkin to ppl .. siegel siegel.
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heartsbroken
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2005 13 January :: 11.18pm
haha already did that!
-- so my life is shitty and i didnt think it could get anyworse..... well i was wrong... my mom had another one of her episods had had me arrested for no reason literly...it was kind of funny though because i couldnt stop makin jokes and i pissed off one of the cops it was so funny.... and one of the cops was really cool but it sucked havin 3 cop cars comin to get me.. my mom broke all my bottels my room looks so empty... she tryed to say i cant ever see wess again ...but me and her talked today and its all straight.. but noooo 2 seconds after that more drama had to happen.. i swear everyone is trying to keep me and wess from each other and i wont let it happen....
me and wess are gunna kill andy cuz hes a lil fuckin dick
wess hates my mom and wont come in my house anymore
i hate his mom and i dont wanna see her again
i just want to be happy
-michelle
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strawberrie
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2005 11 January :: 6.37pm
wow!!
hmph
yeah boy!
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strawberrie
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2005 11 January :: 6.21pm
Oi lets see what this brings..
Post anything that you want here, and post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love... anything. Make sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you'd like. Then, put this in your Journal to see what others have to say.
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strawberrie
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2005 10 January :: 6.08pm
back to school tomorrow...:(
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heartsbroken
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2005 10 January :: 3.33pm
:: Mood: confused
grrr i dont know what to do i want Him so bad why couldnt i relize how much i do love him when i had a chance. ive waited to long and now i dont think he can ever be just mine and i dont want to share him. why was i so dumb. i finally know what love is and its to late. he loves me but he also loves someone else and just knowing he loves her and she loves him hurts so bad cuz i want him!
IM NOTHING BUT A FUCKUP
<3my heart keeps falling faster<3
--Ryan Cabrera
-michelle-
..::no one truly understands how i feel inside::..
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heartsbroken
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2005 10 January :: 1.18am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: on the way down/ true
vacation
me and erik broke up.. he got the biggest attitude with me for putting him on hold for 2 seconds.. fuckin bullshit.. but im kinda happy.. i was planing on braking up with him anyways.. he came to my house today when i told him he couldnt because he wanted to say sorry and he wants me back...
ive had the best vacation and worst at the same time... ive learned my life is nothing but lies and mistakes.. i fuck up everything that would be good for me....i also decided that i wanna make one last trip to my dads just so he can see how mad i am at him and just so i can let it all go but i dont want to go by my self.
im so confused when it comes to guys i always fuck it all up.. im torn between 2 guys now and i know who i would choose over the other i just dont know what to do... life sucks
<3my heart keeps falling faster<3
-michelle-
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innocence
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2005 9 January :: 8.43pm
:: Music: the killers - mr. brightside
blahh
well i dont really want to get into everything thats been going on, because it hasn't been that great, and some of it is just too whacky to talk about..
still havent my gift from jim, and at this rate ill never get it from him or my uncle aunt and cousins, cuz at the moment, im not allowed to see any of them. dont ask me why, because i dont even know the full reason, all i know is anything that makes me happy gets fuked up right away.
this weekend was pretty cool, for the most part, hung out w/ lauren everyday and we did some stupid shit haha. saturday was .. oo lets say -- uneventful.
my hearts breakin right in front of my eyes, and nobody sees it happening, and nobody tries to fix it. the first boy who i think is truly good for me, who will make such a wonderful addition to my life, who is truly genuine.. gets taken from me..
not to mention, im in total denial about my mom. i dont think shes dead, and im just now realizing it. i cant explain it, but its like i think im here on a vacation gone bad and shes still at home waiting for me.. then i really think back and realize shes not coming back, so i cry.. and cry .. and cry until there are no tears left, my life is a nightmare
anyways, i dont wanna talk about this anymore, and im trying to persuade my aunt to cut my hair, so ill get going. hope everybodys holidays were good, back to school tomorrow.
its hard to tell your mind to stop lovin someone when your heart still does..
i wish you'd realize im all for you, i wish you'd realize i wouldnt hurt you.. i wish you'd realize that i wanna be with you.. i wish you'd realize you wanna be with me too..
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strawberrie
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2004 31 December :: 11.38am
Happy New Years Eve....
Get Fucked Up!!
<33 Heather
Single__-n-__Ready__to__Mingle!!
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heartsbroken
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2004 30 December :: 2.51pm
:: Music: emienm
Im hangin from a string for dear life
everything i truly care for and love is almost lost
ive never hated myself more then i do now
im slowly losing -my family- -my friends- -my self-
theres no way out and i dont even know how i got here
* please god, give me the strength to have what it takes to carry on*
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strawberrie
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2004 29 December :: 4.51pm
heyy peoples...
what's happenin'?
recap--
John n Nikki broke up..
Frankie n me are still together...
Mike's still here...
Kaytes over!!
waiting for john n mike to get off of work n pick us up to go chill -n- shit...that's all for now..
<3Heather Lauren<3 xO*!!
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heartsbroken
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2004 28 December :: 4.07pm
:: Mood: ups n' downs
:: Music: eminem
past couple of weeks.
So as everyone knows I HATE CHRISTMAS and aslways will...last year was the whole drama w/ my sister this year everything is out of control....
I now dont have a father.. it hurts so much but it hurts more talking to him... i think i would rather him kick the shit out of me .. that way i would only few days... but thats not how things are...
Wess--- i love that kid to DEATH... i think i know what its like to actully love someone... when i saw what i saw ive never cryed so much.. but ive been there everyday for him since.. i didnt leave his side for basically 10days... i also havent been sober for 11 days straight till now..well yesterday there was that few hours but you know what i mean..
Erik- I care about erik ALOT ... and sometimes i think im not good enough for him cuz im so much of a flirt and i cant help it ... I LOVE GUYS..plus... ive
"Downstairs"- he is sooo gorgeus!! and he has a tounge ring!
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strawberrie
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2004 28 December :: 3.28pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: nikki n mike babbeling
Bordem...Kills
Hey peoples what's happenin'?
nm here chillen over at Nick-ayz with Mikel lol wow
just given a breif update Im with Frankie<3 since basically christmas n were just taken it day by day Nikki n John broke up again **asshole** but we'll see how long that last...
goin' to the wellington mall 'cause Nikki's depressed n wants to shop so yeah should be interesting im draggin' Mike with me n then we'll see what the rest of the night brings..
tata 4 now!
Heather Lauren<3**
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innocence
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2004 24 December :: 11.32am
xmass
im not going to update about whats been going on, because.. well because i dont have time to do that today.
but.. first things first
Merry Christmas Eve everybody!!
I have a ton of stuff to do today!! woohoo lol. I hope everybodys day is nice, calm, and one to remember.
I'm going to Aunt Dee's for this vacation, which I am so excited for because I wanna see them, toni, the kids, n jimmy*.. plus ill get the hell outta here lol.
just a quick update -- hung out w/ beanie yesterday, then went out n saw phm and a bunch more ppl.. and things are coming about that i never thought would.. but i gotta go
time to start cookin! woot! lol. carly -- ur presents just a tad late lol sorry babe, i love you sooo much!
toodles!
Feliz Navidad ... eve =]
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heartsbroken
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2004 19 December :: 9.25pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: radio
weekend
Friday- bunch of bull fuckin shit happend... crappy night
Sat- went to brennens... grrr.... then went to travis's house... soooo much fun.. got wasted ... never liked whiskey b4 till yesterday..his dad was sooo funny! (the grinch and the dog having sex lol!) i played erik in pool cuz no one could beat him and haha i beat him and he didnt let me win lol... i got 3 balls in a row at first but then i didnt get anymore in lol but i won cuz erik got the cue ball in when he got the 8ball in.. lil joey is sooo cute! hes only 6 years old lol... travis was nice when we were leaving he comes and gives me a hug and is like " your welcome here any time, come by when ever you want" lol he so funny we were fuckin with each other the whole night lol... spent the night at eriks house that night.. i was a lil to hyper on the ride home... mostly cuz i was soooo cold cuz i had the window down lol
sunday- got home at like 2... was a bum all day, got ready for school... i took the facclin (ridalin) lol i was so calm it was nice... but of course i can never be happy for more then 5 mins.... right when it was kickin in i had to bring my mom the phone... shit happend and now im pissed and im not really talkin to her...
-- i dont know where i would be if it wasnt for my friends--
*-Michelle-*
<3Erik
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