one girl whose pages tore

8 paid close attention... | see beyond what is

:: 2002 20 August :: 5.04pm

put a smile on a dying face.

waiting for someone to see between the lines.

this is no gift. it's torture. knowing the truth.

knowing you.

:: 2002 17 August :: 11.54pm

severence.

:: 2002 13 August :: 9.46pm
:: Mood: safsafff shit shit
:: Music: 311-freeze time

fuck school. gah. love you heather. <3 nite.

14 paid close attention... | see beyond what is

:: 2002 5 August :: 3.17pm
:: Mood: no clue

master. master.

master of puppets im pulling your strings.

twisting your mind and smashing your dreams.

blinded by me you cant see a thing.

just call my name cause ill hear you scream.

master.

:: 2002 20 July :: 12.52pm
:: Mood: bouncy

hey all. im in seattle me and reid just came back from swimming. cold as hell swimming is in seattle. its good stuff here, i feel like im still in florida. its nuts. i miss you kids, ill be home in like 10 or 9 days, i dont know. ill call you tonight heather. <3 bye kids.

7 paid close attention... | see beyond what is

:: 2002 15 July :: 12.08am
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: 311

fuck
fuck you. liar. pathetic excuses. verses in a useless rhyme. learning through loss. is what you are learning.

and you. i dont know what your deal is. but im tired of trying if you arent with me. so i guess the idea is to stop trying. i dont know what else to do. because caring with the feeling of none in return is only bringing me down. and it hurts.

:: 2002 11 July :: 11.24pm
:: Music: 311-fuck the bullshit

that face oh so gorgeous.
jettisonning all rationality within our complacent minds. a stitch in time in which my world is frozen all around you. your beauty. your love. ive caught the endless beauty of you. and i couldnt be happier.

:: 2002 9 July :: 12.34am
:: Mood: Not a worry in sight
:: Music: 311-Freeze Time

appreciate what you have. dont take things for granted. because everything ends. and you dont want to be kicking yourself when they do, wishing you had done things differently.

:: 2002 1 July :: 9.34am
:: Mood: gGgGaAaYyY
:: Music: fairweather

reid's down. Mike's leaving. My fingers hurt like hell (sorry, none for you heather)Har Har Har. I haven't written lately cause everything's been very good. Except this @*&EQW with my mom. But that's a done deal. Taking showers with girls is really fun. They don't cushion your fall very well tho. Damn lots of memories in the past week. All in all life is very good, i feel very complete, thanks to Heather and Reid. My love(s). Well i'm out to the doc. <3.

(Here's a sick joke)

JOKE: What's the worst thing about eating bald pussy?

Answer: Putting the diaper back on.

:: 2002 25 June :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: anxious to see you
:: Music: FATA

i dont think anymore. so i pretty much have nothing to write. i dont think because i know. i. love. you.

<3 you heather.

4 paid close attention... | see beyond what is

:: 2002 22 June :: 4.03pm
:: Mood: just fucking kill me damnit
:: Music: Thrice-trust

the phone rings. on the other side a voice. not sweet. not somber. a cold voice. a voice telling you of betrayal. a voice telling you all you have worked for has been thrown back at you. a voice basically telling you you're a piece of shit. which is what i feel like. for anyone who may give a shit about my piece of shit self, my dad just called and told my i have to go to court tuesday cause im being charged with domestic battery over some delusion my mom says happened and it never did. its funny how her b/f can hit me and get off the hook, but i can fucked in the ass for some fabricated lie that i never committed. fuck this world. seems those who i love always seem to hurt me. it's hard to accept love when the only love you've known hurts. so bad. thats why im so scared. save me.

:: 2002 21 June :: 12.55pm

even more beautiful then your body is whats inside it.

a beautiful heart.

a beautiful you.

:: 2002 20 June :: 2.21am
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: THrice

haha wouldnt you know it: i upset you again. if i upset you everyday, tell me so i can feel even shittier. i guess i'll go pee on myself, i feel pretty worthless about it.gdghhhgfsx