whenthesunsets
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2003 29 September :: 8.49pm
never have i seemed to care to know what to say. i feel afraid to let me out. i wouldnt want to take a chance of failing to prove myself wrong.
my eyes glow red. their charisma shaded. everytime i open them from my slumber all i see is blur. and beyond what i can see is you. and light flows through my eyes and my body. and beyond what i can feel is you.
never will i hold back to you.
never will you wonder who i really am. or what i really want.
never will you have to question me. because you'll always have the answers.
my bad habits all have new purpose these days. and i love the feeling of my fingertips touching the depth of you. and never do you leave a bad taste in my mouth. and i can taste the serenity of you on the edges. sweet and bitter all the same.
never will i wear dark glasses.
never.
1 paid close attention |
see beyond what is
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whenthesunsets
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2003 28 September :: 11.28pm
times going by slow, its now 9:30
the rain drops are dancing in the street
and i can hear them singing your name
so i think maybe if i lose myself listening to it
the time would speed by
and once it stops, you'd be here
then when its all over i look at the clock
and it reads 9:35, just five minutes later
and i, i wish you were here.
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 25 September :: 11.05pm
when you wake up. i want you to ask yourself "am I happy being a record player?" and then i want you to suppose one day. you threw out all the records. and recorded your own. your own record. and i want you to put that record on repeat. and live as yourself. not some recording of what people want you to be. and if this is too much to ask. you can go back to being just a record player.
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 16 September :: 10.25pm
i've quit drugs, save for times with a few people who i have a good time with on them. I find that mindfucking myself on an occasional basis can be more enjoyable than on a daily one. or maybe its this sort of old weed i have. its pretty funkass shit. or maybe we should learn the art of shutthefuckup. and get on with our lives.
1 paid close attention |
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 14 September :: 10.58am
we went downtown on an uptown train.
went up the down escalator to the street.
took a bus in reverse to 16th street.
floated around on a suitcase full of nothing
until we met up at our final destination
we had taken all the wrong paths
to all the right places
1 paid close attention |
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 10 September :: 6.42pm
indeed we have come
across an arid plain that was lacking in morals and concious
to this treehouse far above in a deep forest. where a smile accompanies every rising sun
and you are my night light, my soul medicine, my sustainer and giver.
and on the way to this place we passed a sign. it said "this is not a dream."
5 paid close attention... |
see beyond what is
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whenthesunsets
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2003 8 September :: 3.36pm
:: Mood: optimistic
its these days im given
each none like the other
and they tell my story that you wont forget
carved in my soul
each page written in gold
and marked by your fingerprints
(this is only the beginning of the series)
1 paid close attention |
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 5 September :: 8.05am
the libra sign that was assigned to me was sensible at first. but really i think it should have been cancer. because the name seems just so fitting of me. a dangerous anomaly in your system. and what shall you do?
4 paid close attention... |
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 1 September :: 1.46am
inthe face of mortality
i will declare my infinity
my muscles will atrophy
but i am infinity
my speech might stutter
heart may flutter
vision will fail me
but i am infinity
my limbs may drag
my balls will sag
hearing might lag
but i am infinity
my skin might dry
senses go awry
my body will die
but i am infinity
so my body will atomize?
that is no reason to dramatize
my future lack of physical size
for i. i am inFINNNNNity
~
1 paid close attention |
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 24 August :: 12.00am
baby in this town the sun dont eva' go down
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 22 August :: 6.24pm
friends. ha. what a crock of shit.
4 paid close attention... |
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 22 August :: 12.00am
the modern concept of friendship is almost all but a relic remaining of the greatest concept ever to be. im not sure what compells people to be so cold, but it is so nevertheless. there does exist a moral conciousness far stronger than anything we have thought or made, yet it continues to be ignored for the lack of it's benefit to the power-hungry individual and their personal gain. we are human, none above the other. fixated on becoming demi-gods through our technology, we are leaving ourselves behind in this maelstorm of automation and super-everything. supercars, superchips, supersize, supercomputers, supersonic planes, superweapons. for fucks sake our country prides itself on being a "superpower." there's nothing "super" about having enough weapons to destroy the planet several times over. where the hell do we think we are going? this icy road is downdowndown. compassion is the shit man.
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 19 August :: 6.39pm
damn these days where the world seems to collapse on you and you have to pick it all up.
our lives are like flowers which are like clouds which are like waves which are like butterflies which are like trees. sure the timeframes are different. but the outcome is the same. a timeless ebb never changing, ever flowing. and for those who have been burnt by this flame, never fear, for the one before you and the one after you will be burnt all the same. it is inevitable; a part of life so to say. in birth we are set on a crash course for the flame and all we can do is choose what to treat our burns with after the fact. be it love, kindness, anger, destruction, charity, isolation, hate, or just to take it with a grain of salt and get back up. the flame can never tell us how to heal. unfortunately humanic stupidity keeps us from holding appreciation for the things we hold so dear until it is that we are burnt by those very things. a man truly never appreciates his legs until he loses them. we take so much for granted, never realizing this until it is gone. and too often a time the flame is lost. and can never be relit. so walk soflty with your wounds. they are who you have become. and who you will leave behind.
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 17 August :: 10.21pm
this molecule times two. is for mE and y0u
melt melt melt away
in this chemicular sway
(iahvenothing left to say)}
see beyond what is
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losttt
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2003 16 August :: 11.45pm
Live life with empathy
not apathy
lack despondency
no sad to see
just purely
happy
is what my smile says
as i am shot to pieces
so now im falling down this three mile slope
clinging to a four-mile rope
6 paid close attention... |
see beyond what is
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