I just need someone to say it's going to be okay. Even if it's not right now. I know some things are okay. Some things are better than okay. You still care, right? You are the best.
I am still sick. It's been about 3 weeks now. I have to go back in 2 weeks. No school today. It's great. I'm just reading and lounging.
But the awful thing about it is, I can't enjoy it. I'm always counting how many hours I have until I have to leave for work. Most all the girls there are wenches. "Oh my gosh, she told him I kissed another guy! It's all her fault! He'll never talk to me again! But I was wasted! It doesn't matter!"
and they all have the "I'm so hot" attitude. And they're all bitches to me.
The guys are all extremely nice. Girls suck.
I worked with Juan and he makes things a lot easier. I don't feel so stressed out. He helps me and doesn't make me feel stupid. Girls were ringing in stuff that hadn't been on the menu for a year. And I didn't know how to make it.
I need to stop thinking about work. And I need to do better in school. It seems like I don't have time because I always get home late and am too tired to do it.

I just want to be done. Dad is talking about moving again. We actually found a house. It's in Kent City though. I don't know. It's nice.
But I just want to be out. And done with school. And married.
I changed my mind. I don't even want to wait until I'm out of college.
Anyway, dad is leaving soon I should go see him. And talking about all this work stuff is giving me a headache. How do people deal with all this crap???

You say you're down on your luck
Hey baby it's a long long way up.
Hold back now, Hold back your fears
You say you're really down and out
And you feel like there's no way out now
Let go now, Let go your tears

How many times have you asked yourself
Is this the hand of fate now that I've been dealt?
You're so disillusioned
This can't be real
And you can't stand now the way you feel
I don't care about what they say
I won't live or die that way
Tired of figuring out things on my own
Angel's wings won't you carry me home

And when you're down on your luck
Hey baby it's a long long way up
Hold back now, hold back your fears
And when you're really down and out
And you feel like there's no way out now
Let go now, let go your tears

And when you're down on your luck
Hey baby it's a long long way up
Hold back now
Hold back your fears
And when you're really down and out
And you feel like there's no way out now
Let go now, Let go your tears

I triumped in the face of adversity
And I became the man I never thought I'd be
And now my biggest challenge
A thing called love
I guess I'm not as tough as I thought I was
I don't care about what they say
I wanna marry you some day
Gonna wake up
It's a brand new day
Angel's wings gonna carry you away
Angel's wings gonna carry me away
Angel's wings gonna carry us away

NOW
But I can't.
And I don't know.
How we're just two men as God had made us.
Well I can't.
Well I can.
Too much too late.
Or just not enough of this.
Pain in my heart for you dying wish.
I'll kiss your lips again.
They all cheat at cards and the checkers are lost.
My cellmates a killer.
~~~~~~~~


Hmm. Today went pretty fast. YAY for chinese. And Becca. And ACF. NAY for homework. Crap. Speaking of.

Why did I do that to myself. Now my heart hurts like nothing else.
DELETE

My stomach feels like it's gouging away.
Gosh. So much pain. Ow. It's not the digestive or cramp kind. I know. Ouchhhh.

I can still smell you.