nothing-- as usual
People that do exciting stuff everyday are lucky. Waaay lucky... Mad lucky. W/e, u want it to be. I did nothing for the past two days, at least nothing that excites me. I consider myself pretty enthousiastic and outgoing when I'm around the right people. But these days, it seems like there's nothing random or fun to do. I'm the girl who dances in the rain, when everyone sits inside. I'm the girl who dances to the Mexican music outside Casa Maya. I'm th girl who throws popcorn at the fat people. That's me! I don't feel like I can live my true identity these days. I'm way bored, and I feel like I'm growing. Growing away from my friends, not with them. One of my best ones here, I feel we're growing apart. She's finding new friends, and it seems like she wants to be with them rather than me. She has more of a craving to be accepted than me, that's probably why. I really don't care that much what people think, I do what I want when I want to. I guess that's why people hate me so much. But my friend, she really wants to be accepted I think and these new people she's hanging out with are considered cool. I think they're nice and stuff, but they don't have a desire to become friends with me. I know where to step down, and I don't look for people. People look for me... That's probably why I have no friends.
Summer is great though, except for all of these emotions running through my head. Each day seems to grow more challenging. I wish I was the little 5 year old once again, with 5 different boy friends and no worries at all. I kinda enjoy sometimes just sitting at home doing nothing. I guess in that aspect I'm kind of a loner, but that's ok. I hang out with my friends anyway. I went grocery shopping with my mom, just to be nice. And it rained so hard, and of course I went out and just stood there. It's pretty refreshing actually, it wasn't that cold either. Rain is my good friend, even though it has kept me company long enough. I think it's being selfish, shouldn't sun be able to chill wit me too? Huh huh huh? What up wit dat, huh Rainy? Alright, I'll stop acting like a dork. I'm not saying this for attention, I hate people that do that. For an example, durng Science about two weeks ago we were talking about people being different. And the guy that thinks he's waaay different comes up and goes "well, then I guess you can't look at me" or something stupid like that. First of all he's not different, and second of all if he really was different he wouldn't be saying somethin dumb like that. It's not about how you dress, or how you act really. It's mostly about what you think, and what do with those thoughts. Well, I guess it's his problem I don't really care. Oh, and by the way I'm getting really annoyed with people always telling you what to wear and what not to wear. It doesn't matter, not that I have the most "different" style. But it doesn't matter, people should do and wear and say what they want. No restrictions. It's stupid. Well, enough about my chattering...
Today was boring, got Harry Potter of course. Graaand book, I'm already on Chapter 15. It's pretty amazing, Harry seems to have finally gone through puperty. Finally, he's fifteen damnit. So I just read all day. Then at seven or so, I left to go to Shruti's surprise party. Most boring ting I've ever gone to. Wow... Pretty crazy. All we did was eat, and she already knew we were gonna do it for her. And there were only like five people there. Boredom. Right now I'm at home, watching my brother as usual. I should start charging my parents for these services, but oh well. Tennis is starting monday, and I'm excited. Love all of u guys: Excited to c all of u. C u soon, love to the brothers; Gerhard, Kern, David, Steven (even tho I don't know if you're still there, call me I miss you), Tomba (yaa boy), Alb, and Nick too. We'll have more fun this year. Some are missing out, like Dorina, but she'll realize at some point (I hope) what she missed. Anyway,
Peace
I'm out...
Once again, have an AMAZING summer all of you!

nothing
Ya, I'm bored. Today was another day of doing nothing, except today I really didn't do anything at all. I woke up, with a very pleasant phone call from Mrs. Eves that I haven't handed in my Spanish text Book... I guess I gotta pay her $50 for that damn book, even though it ain't even worth $10. But w/e, life goes goes.
My mom made me stay in all day, she made me clean like the entire house. Pretty horrible, she's mad at me for no reason. We went to Lord & Taylor, cuz my mom had to return some shyt, and just when I actually foudn soemthing in there that I liked we had to elave cuz my darling little brother had some kind of play date! We picked him up, and basically I spend the rest of the day playing the Sims. Just like Maxi actually... Tomorrow, hopefully, will be a little more well "fiesty". I don't know, just bored. And it doesn't even feel like summer. BOO HOO!

bleeh-- stuff I wonder about
You know I wonder sometimes... I wonder about life. I dream about life, whatever I do it tears my brain apart. These are the thinfs I often wonder about
1. Why are people never happy?
2. Why do people take what they have for granted? (We all live in Edgemont, deal with it)
3. Why can't everyone just get along?
4. And why doesn't the "superior" race be happy for once?
5. Why is love stupid?

There's a lot more I think about, but these are the main ones. Let's start at number 1. Why are people never happy? yes, please why is that? No matter how you have, how much you spend, how much you do, you can never seem to just be happy. I know I have moments when I come hom and feel extremely happy and hyper, and other days I come home and feel depressed. I guess that's normal. But a person is never just happy. I guess it's impossible. I wish I was 4, everything was so easy then.
Why do people take things for granted? yes, why is that. I do it too, I'm not saying I don't but it still freaks me out. I, and most of us, live a really good life. Most of us can basically buy whatever we want, whenever we want. Sometimes when I see people on tv that have nothing, I think about it. People should be more happy. You know you could be a sick child in Africa with HIV right now, I know that's a horrific example but you hear me right? It's discusting, I hope everyone realizes this. You have a good life, get over yourself everyone!
3. Why are people always in fights, and why can't we just all get along? Why is there always so much drama. Nothing is resolved, and no one is happy. I always feel like screaming "Shut up, you won't remember this when you're 80", cuz you won't. The drama has to stop, people, no one likes it. It's good for nothing, and rotten.
4. I got the scoop I think on everything going on at my school, between the superior races. You know who you are, popular people. They seem to have more drama than me and my friends. It's crazy, they all live amazing lives and I don't know why they are always so dramatic. The Notorious (vocab word...) BIG once said, "more money, more problems". And he's right, only I'm gonna use different words. "More friends, more problems". I guess it's like that, I'm just telling of you: stop it, you don't know how many others are jealous of you.
5. Yes, and WHY oh WHY is love stupid? Just plain stupid... There's really nothing more to say about that, except that I know what it feels like...
Peace, have a great summer everyone. I know I will!!
<3 Kern