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godessalthena

:: 2021 17 April :: 9.46pm

had a really good birthday, just feeling pretty good about life when not looking at the parts I don't like.

it's going to be hard going back to work on Monday...

Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 3 April :: 10.44am

when you realize you've become a shallow dish of the great lake you once we're

drying up like a river in california

molecule by molecule you've been dissapating into thin air

and everyone can see straight through you and none of them like what they see

vacuous space where a heart used to be, cold fingers, clammy hands, glass eyes and plastic beads for stuffing

you become one with the icy artic winds blowing over this fucked up landscape. a numbess enters you, fixing to your very core. labored breathing and far away eyes, trying to capture the warmth from you nostalgia.

just another deep emptiness of a human. wasting polluted air, generating more filth and trash. a creature so utterly lost from their home, trapped in artificial mazes of their own creation. dizzying and pointless, their minds grasping at foolish ideas of gods and cosmic flow.

when we all truly know what we come from and what we return to... endless quiet nothing. no sun, no water, no breeze or bushy trees bowing in the wind. just the end. the nothing. the nowhere. the deepest sleep.

Thank You


spud

:: 2021 1 April :: 10.30pm
:: Music: The Great Outdoors (1988)

life goes on, man.

finished a painting gig today. gonna try to hold off on any more work until after the trip to phoenix. aside from the laundry list of chores amassed for me by past chris. occasionally he surprises me, but usually he just kicks the cans down the road for future chris to deal with. hopefully some dedicated time will help future chris in his efforts.

-----


the spirit of god is alive wherever people are helping others, and growing in understanding. in places where people are wrongly harming others, the spirit is dead. even if that place is a church. or a school. or a home.

this may sound like a bummer, but it is actually very encouraging to witness the spirit thriving in many diverse and unlikely places. don't let the trimmings fool you. look at the people. see who's helping. join them. doesn't really matter where.

<3

4 Kelsey Grammeri | Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 30 March :: 6.56am

so excited for birthday plans I could explode!

visit em in seattle
go to the actual ocean
staying in a fancy condo
sushi with the bestie
a whole week and change off work

oh I forgot... and getting some ink done
and the dogs are getting groomed

ahhh cannot wait

ugh so so ready for a break

1 Kelsey Grammer | Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 23 March :: 9.02am

sometimes I worry I'm broken

cuz I can't cry anymore

1 Kelsey Grammer | Thank You


spud

:: 2021 13 March :: 8.43pm
:: Music: Breaking Bad

There's a Martian yelling, "CUT! BOOM IN THE SHOT. EVERYBODY BACK TO ONES!" but you can't hear it above the wind noise.

Thank You


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 1 March :: 10.17pm
:: Music: Blues Traveler- Hook

"I wanna bust all your balloons/ I wanna burn all your cities to the ground..."
It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel I'll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks
Because the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don't mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow
Was that Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
Suck it in suck it in suck it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also of rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute diddys
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all your cities to the ground
I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day. Hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because
The Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hoooooook
On that you can rely

Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 25 February :: 6.32am

next month is unofficially 11 years with my employer.

11 years of misery, but I'm still here.

1 Kelsey Grammer | Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 21 February :: 12.19pm

I'm just so BORED

Thank You


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 9 February :: 10.53pm
:: Music: Dominic Fike- Phone Numbers

Keep my name out your mouth like some wisdom teeth/ (And you wonder why) Why I'm not there with you...
Can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Woah, Kenny!
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Yes I flew my shorty from Florida to Hollywood
Thought some gold shit looked big on me
Got some goals, it's a list on me
Yeah lil' bitch, I'm rich, I fuckin' roll you
This strippers and the stroll playin' tricks on me
The stones hittin' different
You're supposed to be pissed at me (No!)
They from Tiffany (Please)
Keep my name out your mouth like some wisdom teeth
(And you wonder why) Why I'm not there with you
(I ain't answer my phone in so long)
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Can you break bread with me?
Break break bread with me
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Can you break bread with me?
And yes I moved lil' shawty from 'round me
She been all in my business as of late
I got rich so goddamn fast, they want this bread, can't catch a break
And yes I know you're tired of hatin'
I'm tired of staring at your face
And if a bitch retaliate we can go tit for tat today
That's on my momma, that's on Big Sean, that's on Lil' A from FLA
Out here in L.A. trying to make shit shake, tryna wrap this case, ho
That's a whole 120k to the magistrate, for my parent's sake
And you still talking about sharing cake
Shut the fuck up
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Can you break bread with me?
Break break bread with me (Okay)
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me

Thank You


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 9 February :: 10.50pm
:: Music: The Backseat Lovers- Kilby Girl

She's playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do...
We're both throwing smoke into the night
It's raining, I suppose you need a ride
She said I've got nothing to do and neither do you
There's a place down the road where we can waste the whole afternoon
I overheard she was 19
She's got a fake ID and a nose ring
Those kind of girls tend to know things better than I do
And I'm dying to figure out what she's hiding
She's just playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do
Feels like a night to carry a tune
I've been carrying yours since you've wrecked my room
And I've got nothing to do and neither do you
So let's chase after love and waste away the whole afternoon
I overheard that she was 19 with a fake ID and a nose ring
Those kind of girls tend to know things better than I do
And I'm dying to figure out what she's hiding
She's playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do

Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 9 February :: 7.48am

I hate when shows are cancelled with no resolution

Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 1 February :: 8.13am
:: Mood: crushed

had to quit d&d because someone was being paranoid that I was trying to get him killed and fucking tried at me for how I play the game.

if it was the first time is be like whatever, even if it was the 3rd time, but this shit has been going on at least a year and I'm fucking over it.

I'm not really used to people hating me like that for no reason. I'm not great at the game, the rules are convoluted and boring, I just wanted to role play. but I couldn't even do that without someone always talking over me.

just like in my real life. I'm so fucking boring people can't even wait until I'm done talking before they start their own story.

I'm so boring even my bf constantly ditches me.

I'm literally the most boring doormat. you just want me money and my effort, you don't want ME.

it feels like no one wants me.
rejected toy painted with lead paint
repugnant petulant

MUNDANE, MOROSE, TEDIOUS, DULL, DISAPPOINTING, CHUCKLEHEAD dumb ass bitch.

I hate every day.

Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 29 January :: 11.47pm

had to quit d&d

I'm bummed

but I'm done wasting my precious time off dealing with that asshat.

Thank You


godessalthena

:: 2021 27 January :: 8.25am

in my freshman year in college I had a lot of feminine issues and saw SEVERAL doctors

but the one I remember the most was the one that handed me a mirror and let me watch the exam and told me what I was looking at.

that woman made a fundamental difference to my life, and I wish I could thank her. I hope she's alive and well and doing well.

Thank You

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