godessalthena
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::
2017 19 August :: 8.48am
the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that a couple people would be devastated if i stopped
but another 50 years of this? another 50 years of living the same bullshit every single day.
the sad eternal sorrow lodged deep in my heart
knowing this stone in my chest will never start beating again
i am an empty husk of a person, bland, boring, vanilla
a waste to time of space of paint
Thank You
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godessalthena
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::
2017 19 August :: 1.11am
SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY
Thank You
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godessalthena
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::
2017 17 August :: 5.39pm
looking forward to the future exhausts me to no end
thinking of all the days marching before me
looking at all the days that have marched past me
it's too much
it isn't enough
to keep me
Thank You
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godessalthena
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::
2017 17 August :: 2.09pm
i just want to know if i got the job
so i can tell this place fuck you very much
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2017 9 August :: 2.11pm
ugh
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2017 4 August :: 8.07pm
dabs drinks and r&b from the 2000s with friends
dreams really do come true
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2017 4 August :: 4.47pm
life is too short
to voluntarily enslave yourself
to misery
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2017 3 August :: 10.53am
today started really rough
had a mental breakdown right before my interview
hurt my back sitting on that orange couch last night
late payments and shitty IVR and customer service representatives
Now everything is squared away, i wish my belly would settle down
i really hope i get this. i need out. i'm breaking up with you, work, and it hurts me more than it'll ever hurt you.
why do you have to keep breaking my heart?
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2017 2 August :: 11.46pm
why do the hide men's faces in porn?
1 Kelsey Grammer |
Thank You
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godessalthena
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::
2017 28 July :: 9.07pm
i know im not alone in the way i feel
but how many other people feel this way
how do they cope
just one foot in front of the other?
it feels that simple but is it really?
i am losing my mind but i'm terrified to make a change
i settled into quicksand and i don't know if i can claw my way out
when i started at liberty it was a shining beacon of hope. i finally made it. i finally am going to make enough money to pay my bills and see the doctors i need. 7 years later and all i see is a dark moldy ship crawling it's way along a roiling black sea cannon shells marring the hull and we are all furiously bailing the toxic water out. i cry at work.i try to be a cheerleader because everyone is so buried in misery. and we just keep bailing while our muscles tear from the ligaments and the ligaments from the bone. and they tell us to smile "it could be worse". but hell is different for different people. and i can see it in everyone's eyes the trapped feeling they have. this suffocating doe eye expression claustrobia overtaking them the paper walls are tumbling on us and we and getting lacerated in the avalanche
how do we all keep going? how has no one snapped yet?
it's just too much.
Thank You
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godessalthena
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::
2017 28 July :: 4.15pm
my soul
l(a
le
af
fa
ll
s)
one
l
iness
Thank You
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godessalthena
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::
2017 28 July :: 4.02pm
the mountains of pain
with roots wrapped deep
tendrils in my heart
squeeze out the joy wasted on the ground
face the fears and follies
all alone
tears stream
and i hold my own bucket
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2017 27 July :: 12.55pm
liberty ain't cheap and freedom ain't free
im a millennial, blame it all on me
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2017 24 July :: 3.41pm
didn't get the supervisor position i applied for.
not surprised not really disappointed just kinda meh
im ready for a new chapter im ready for a change but i'm just stuck stagnating
maybe a few more years and it'll be my time
Thank You
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godessalthena
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::
2017 23 July :: 1.00am
i just want to give myself to love completely
but there's something holding me back
as of yet a nameless creature stalking me silently from the shadows
went to a beautiful wedding today one where i felt the desire to share my heart in front of those i fear the judgement of the most
i want to bear my heart to someone
but fear leaves me standing in shade waiting for the beast to take me
Thank You
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