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godessalthena

:: 2010 7 October :: 6.28pm

I haven't felt this used or repulisive in a long time.
Thank you.

labyrinth

:: 2010 7 October :: 4.36pm
:: Mood: sick

Midterm tests soon
School's been alright so far, not great because it was hard for me to stay awake in class. I get bored easily when I don't understand something. It was early in the morning. I woke up at 6am, felt exhausted and had to try my hardest to stay awake and understand a subject that I don't understand. Midterm is next week, and I have to get to studying soon because my first test next week on Tuesday is advance pastry + baker's math. That's just great because I already suck at math. Then Wednesday is the Management test followed by a math test close to noon. Then on Friday, I have an accounting test. Good thing it's on Friday because then I'll have enough time to study. So I'm holding off "My Soul to Take" and probably will watch it next Friday. I've got several movie certificates. I usually don't do this, but school comes first. I wasn't super terrible in math, but I can't get out of the mindset that I wasn't good in it. I have my graphing calculator so that will save me from failing, I hope. Just need to believe in myself more and be optimistic.

It is Fleet Week and there's too much noise outside my window. I need peace and quiet to rest today!

godessalthena

:: 2010 7 October :: 1.48am

:(
I feel very blah.
My Friday so far has been very disappointing :/

3 loves | <3

godessalthena

:: 2010 5 October :: 11.58am

My belly has been aching :(
and my dreams are full of blood, violence and tornadoes..
Kinda sucks haha

working out everyday is hard.. Hopefully it pays off eventually.

godessalthena

:: 2010 4 October :: 10.47pm

What I want for chirstmas:

world peace
smoked salmon
a trip to Seattle
assistance in moving to Seattle
to be debt free
a puppy
a ragdoll kitten
money
a necklace
anything hello kitty
clothes/giftcards to clothing stores
an iPhone 4
anything giraffe related
a family
cuddles

godessalthena

:: 2010 3 October :: 2.05pm

Working out is kicking my butt :/
and I drank spittle too much last night :)

I can wait to reach my goal and get my tattoo :)

godessalthena

:: 2010 3 October :: 3.08am

I miss you I miss you I miss you so much..

I feel like half of me is missing.. I don't want to go to bed cuz I know you aren't here..

There is no subsitute. No one loves me like you do.

I am SO glad you were born today.

godessalthena

:: 2010 2 October :: 4.48pm

Is it tomorrow yet?
We haven't spent more than 10 hours apart in 2 years.
This is fucking difficult :(

godessalthena

:: 2010 2 October :: 12.10am

The only problem with these pills:
I can feel anger.

And I am FUCK pissed right now.

godessalthena

:: 2010 30 September :: 7.32pm

I love this optimisim I've found. I love feeling up despite people around me. I feel good and productive :)

I'm ready to get drunk and be silly :3

godessalthena

:: 2010 30 September :: 2.41am

Mmm home made sushi :)
go friends and feeling at home with loved ones..
This family I've crafted may ve slightly disfunction, but i finally feel like in home..
Surronded by people who love me..
I'm making headway in my weight, moving forward with my job, being successful in my relationship and patching things up with my blood family.

I'm finally getting the life I deserve. I'm so happy I'm here living it.
I'm so fucking lucky :)

godessalthena

:: 2010 28 September :: 1.13pm

Yesterday: 1100 cal consumed, 335 cal burned, net 756. Basal rate 1700. Good day :)
Today: so far 110 cal consumed, 400 cal burned. Looking to be a good day ;)

godessalthena

:: 2010 27 September :: 12.43am

I love cooking :)
especially when it's amazing!
Cuz I'm bad ass!

labyrinth

:: 2010 26 September :: 5.12pm

godessalthena

:: 2010 25 September :: 4.47am

I feel ugly sometimes. and I know I'm not good enough :(

godessalthena

:: 2010 24 September :: 8.58pm

This is fantastic! Boobs everywhere and pussy galore!!

godessalthena

:: 2010 21 September :: 7.10pm

I hate my life here. I hate all the memories all the disappointments the cruel intentions and the malice. The spite the filth the poverty the selfishness. I hate how none of these motherfuckers can see past the end of their noses.

I want to run away. To get away to save myself before I fall deeper into this bottemless hole. I hate being a failure.

I hate being myself.

godessalthena

:: 2010 20 September :: 9.25pm

I'm so fucking sick of failing due to other people being gucking assholes.

godessalthena

:: 2010 19 September :: 2.02pm

Really, I just want to be happy. And other people.. Well.. They don't understand that when you're a bitch it makes people unhappy. Then that makes the bitch unhappy because the people get pissed that she's a bitch. Then she's more of a bitch. It's a vicious cycle that could end if bitches would just stop being bitches, you know?

labyrinth

:: 2010 15 September :: 6.41pm
:: Mood: tired

:/
I might have to go to the movies alone tomorrow because it seems like everyone is busy. It would be the first time since October 2009.

I took my test yesterday, but I don't know if the answers are correct. I pray that I pass this test! There are 4 tests in total and I cannot fail this! I need to get at least a C- on all tests. I wonder if that's possible. In my whole life, I barely get a C in math. I actually practice doing different math problems, checked my answers and got them right.

labyrinth

:: 2010 13 September :: 6.04pm
:: Mood: worried

I won a couple of Blu-rays, but I don't have the player. I would like to get one, but I'm a student and nearly broke. I'll just keep them until I get a player. Possibly next year, when I finish my internship, graduate and work full-time. I really look forward to that because I'm super impatient. I can't deny it. I just want to do all the fun stuff I'm missing out on. I guess it doesn't do any good to have a Blu-ray player right now because I'm still in school, and I can't spend all my time watching movies. So I'll just keep them and maybe watch it at a friend's house when it's close to Halloween because I'm waiting for The Evil Dead to arrive in my mail. This definitely reminded me of the times I didn't have a boombox or a CD player, but I got a free CD, but couldn't play it.

godessalthena

:: 2010 12 September :: 7.04pm

I don't know what I'm going to do..
But I'm so crazy about you!

labyrinth

:: 2010 12 September :: 6.13pm

I looked through my old music playlist on myspace. It just reminded me of the times I didn't have much friends. I listen to a lot of music and watch post-apocalyptic films. I miss listening to gloomy 80's music. It sounds nice. I like that "Going the Distance" played Berlin's Take My Breath Away. Watching that in theatre at an early screening was great!

I took a picture of this billboard ad in Los Angeles on August 19th.

labyrinth

:: 2010 9 September :: 1.08am

Phantasm is such a great film.

labyrinth

:: 2010 8 September :: 4.30pm
:: Mood: sleepy

Math
I always write about Math, and that's annoying, but it's what I always struggle in. Math test next tuesday, so I'm skipping movies. If I pass the test, I'll feel better than attending a movie screening. I made a goal to not let movies get in the way of my math studying time, and I have to stuck with it. I always like to leave at least 2 days to study because I need to prepare my mind to sit down and do it. I like to study when the days get closer, so everything I look at would still be fresh in my mind. I don't want to study today because I might forget. Math has steps, and I usually try to memorize it. No other way. I guess I'll start this on Saturday, but before Saturday, I'll do other readings first. I have no trouble in ethnic studies because that's easy to remember. Pastry is definitely easier too, so that can wait since my midterm is on Oct. 12. Plenty of time to study baker's math.

aerii

:: 2010 7 September :: 8.29pm

"The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you."

labyrinth

:: 2010 6 September :: 11.00pm

2012 was ehh
I watched the first half of 2012 on Saturday because I finally got the chance. I originally planned on watching it in theatres, but waited too long so I missed that chance. Then I watched the second half on Sunday. I was disappointed because 2012's version of "the end of the world" story is sort of dumb and slow. I think I prefer watching movies that take place after the apocalypse, preferably with zombies make it more exciting and creepy. I'd rather watch "A Boy and His Dog" again. I don't get how 2012 is an apocalypse film when the waves wait for the characters to survive.

godessalthena

:: 2010 3 September :: 8.38am

After all the steps I've made to improve my mental health I'm still just as depressed as I've ever been.

I was really hoping that telling my parents about Ori would fix everything, but it hasn't really changed a damn thing. I still feel alienated and less loved and I still have all my horrible memories and I still cry if I don't take my medicine.

I've come to the conclusion that even though I have a great life with a good job, a good lover, growing number of friends and all the other things I have going for me I am unhappy because I am stuck in this hellhole of a town.

So I am going to leave as soon as humanly possible.

angel_bob

:: 2010 2 September :: 1.16am

HOW IS IT SEPTEMBER ALREADY

This freakout brought to you by wedding stress. For when you really want to stay up all night worrying about shit you could not care less about, there's wedding stress!

3 loves | <3

labyrinth

:: 2010 1 September :: 8.26pm
:: Mood: blah

Tired
Haven't been going out that much for movies lately.. The last screening I attended was Going the Distance. It was an interesting film to watch, but the jokes are dirty/inappropriate. I miss movie screenings, but I also don't want to get home late. Resident Evil and The Town coming up. I hope I get to see both. If not, I'll pay for Resident Evil, but 3D is expensive. It's filmed in 3D, so it should be seen in 3D. If I can't see it in 3D, that's alright I guess. School's good, but just been tired. Although this semester is sort of better. A math test coming up. Gotta practice doing the problems! I've been feeling down and tired a bit. My math classmate actually felt the same way about math. She's been putting it off for many semesters, then decide to just take it. I guess I'm not the only one. Many people I talk to are taking math. We all suck at it.

Facebook - I don't have much use for it anymore, but I'm just going to leave it like that. I use it to enter contests and receive samples.