godessalthena
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2016 10 October :: 9.41pm
sometimes you just gotta give a lil
you gotta learn to bend so you don't break(snap)
hatreds fester with the pus of tainted grudges
fizz it out with the peroxide of a new day
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 5 October :: 10.13pm
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.
- George H. Lorimer
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 29 September :: 8.42am
what does the sun keep a' shining
what does the sea rush to shore
don't they know it's the end of the world
it ended when i lost your love
i wake up in the morning and i wonder
why everything's the same as it was
i can't understand no i can't understand
why everything goes on like it does
i just needed it to stop. i'm worth more than to feel like shit all the time.
no matter how shitty being alone was, being hurt by someone who loves you is worse
i really hope you can get better. i shouldn't want to change you, but if you want to be with me you have to hit my bar. harsh maybe but how else will we get what we deserve...
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 28 September :: 8.48pm
timing is everything and mine is terrible.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 28 September :: 7.36pm
breaking up
the worst feeling
anchors pulling at the pit of your stomach
you feel the weight of oblivion dragging you
into the murky impossible depths
your soul a rotting carcass in the mariana trench
1 love |
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 27 September :: 9.40pm
what is real
and just a dream
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 27 September :: 6.04am
after the shit storm that has been the last few weeks, there is a light on the horizon.
finally finished the office. i've never experienced office life quite like that, but i can relate at least a little. excellent show.
now to finish quantum leap.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 24 September :: 12.28am
definitely not getting any sleep tonight
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 22 September :: 10.12pm
if i close my eyes and imagine laying in my favorite field of clover and sunlight with you, will you ease my pain?
if i hold out my hand in the dark will i find yours there next to me?
i wish i could cuddle with you again, in the early morning hours in your leather chair. could i forget all that's happened since then? can we sit in the golden montana sun and snore our lives away? i miss you so much. i wish i could have hugged you one last time.
why are things always so fucking painful? why are people so terrible? why does everything turn into a burning pile of charred ash and cinder..
i just want to sleep forever. i feel so dead inside.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 22 September :: 8.24am
:: Music: FIDLAR bad habits
sometimes i really want to become a drug addict
1 love |
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 22 September :: 6.56am
the sun is no longer up when i go to work :(
<3
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labyrinth
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2016 22 September :: 4.11pm
Midwest
I have plans that may or may not happen, but I thought it through last night. I thought about it a lot, not just yesterday. In 5 years, I might go back to the states. But I want to go to another state. Maybe Minnesota because my friend lives there. I really really want to go to the midwest and I'm going to make it my goal. I have 5 years to prepare myself. Of course, I already have a college degree, so it's no problem.
If the Lord wants me to be there, I will know then, but if not, I will know also. The Lord God is the creator of this world. It doesn't matter where I go, he'll always be there.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 21 September :: 9.17pm
a lil drunk
feelin pretty grood
not worried about too much besides my internet being a fucking bastard
y u no netflix & chill, vizio?
going to portugal. the man in november. bought everyone tickets for their birthdays. i love me some scorpios man.
what da fuq for halloween doe.. dayman and nightman? harambe and a banana? the fox and the little princess?
i don't know man. i just don't know.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 16 September :: 2.11pm
gotta take a picture.
but first gotta find the damn thing.
still haven't unpacked from my move a year ago.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 14 September :: 8.07pm
I don't like the way I'm feeling right now
my stomach sinking
all the blood rushing to my trunk
I just feel so frustrated that you won't talk time about anything.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 13 September :: 12.04pm
this dead heart of mine is a heavy burden to carry.
I used to think maybe I wasn't meant to carry it alone
but every day that passes it seems more and more like a fact
I am not made to be happy. I am not made to love.
I am not made for anything. I am a tamed animal that's been left alone to waste away.
this hollowness I feel grows more every day. temporarily am I filled, but only to have it slip out of my cracked base.
i watch the wind through the trees and feel the brisk autumn air against my exposed flesh.
I feel nothing but meaningless inside.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 13 September :: 7.52am
disappointment
why can't you be a little more responsible?
or why am I such a responsible old windbag?
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 8 September :: 10.05pm
I can make it if I tired
I closed my eyes I kept on swimming
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 5 September :: 11.13pm
splurged on some new clothing today. torrid was having a buy one get one free clearance so I stocked up. a lil reward for paying off my car! I deserve it!
I just hope it all fits. the shitty thing is no returns... but let's be honest I'm too fucking lazy to go into a store.
I have some Blazers that never get worn.. I want to start wearing them more often just because. I'll dress up on Tuesdays, since men have tie Tuesday.
and maybe I'll get some new lipstick too...
<3
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labyrinth
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2016 4 September :: 5.36pm
I felt better about my life, exactly today. I went to church, and I see a new crowd of people. It helps me to forget the bad part of my life that already past. This is exactly where I needed to be, with the Lord. Today was the Lord Supper, and it went by quickly. It's a new start for me today. Some things I learned about life. Don't believe in people's words too easily, don't be too kind or helpful if unnecessary, don't get drawn in easily with what you think is appealing, don't open up to easily or else you will end up losing more than you will gain, most importantly, don't let anyone take advantage of you in an evil way, if you sense there is something wrong with them, back away immediately and stay away even if it means you won't have any friends.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 31 August :: 9.07pm
maybe I really am just not ready
I fucking hate that motherfucker. I hate who I've become. who he trained me to be. I am so weak. still a slave to those putrid habits.
I am broken indefinitely. with broken strings it's hard to fix oneself.
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 30 August :: 8.05am
reasons I hate work:
- nothing ever works
- offshore processing
- NOTHING EVER WORKS
- OFFSHORE PROCESSING
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 28 August :: 10.27am
oh my god I am tired
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 25 August :: 10.08pm
off to the tri cities for another Mexican birthday celebration and the taco guy
he makes the most delicious tacos, and to watch him prepare them is a treat
camping out in the back yard in a tent
it's going to be how you say
el mejor
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 24 August :: 12.51pm
I never have been
And I never will be
good enough
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 22 August :: 9.52am
probably the best thing growing my hair out has going for me:
EPIC HEAD BANGING
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 20 August :: 3.28pm
he's sawing adorable logs on the couch next to me
I gently touch his butt
he wiggles and makes the cutest sleep chuckle
I could die so cute
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 19 August :: 9.30am
so some good news after the terrible horrible no good very bad day yesterday...
I PAID OFF MY CAR NOTE
now to just get the title and she's mine ALL MIIIIIIINE
1 love |
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 18 August :: 11.42am
I live fat ugly and stupid
I'll die old alone and unloved
I try so hard to be seen
but I've never been more invisible
<3
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godessalthena
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2016 15 August :: 5.25pm
I fuck up too much to be a good relationship partner.
I can't feel enough to be a good relationship partner.
I will always be weird inside, I will always be lame.
<3
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