izntlifesojuicy
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2004 15 May :: 11.08pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: So Simple by Alicia Keys
me and my mom: well... we havent been goin that great... last nite i w uz online and at 11 i went to go lay down cuz my back hurt but i ended up falling asleep and at like 11:45 she busts in my room and started yelling at me about everything and she wuz screamin about my room beeing a mess... and she shut my computer off and then started yellin about more crap and i wuz trying to get her to calm down but i started bawling and i couldnt stop crying... so then she told me how stupid i was and that i needed to stop acting like a fucking baby and she told me not to get back online... of course i did and then she busts in yelling at me when she found out... and so i went to my bed and turned my stereo almost all the way up and she came in yelled at and unplugged it... so she got me rly upset... and i felt like no body cared about me and i just wanted sum1 to talk to and tell me everything is gonna be ok... cuz my mom hasnt been going to work bcuz of her back (she has 2 herniated discs) and her and my dad have been getting into more and more fights and theyre talkin bout divorce... soo... yeah...
todai i had to wake up early and go to dance rehearsal... i did perty good... until erin kicked me lol.. and then my ribbons came out and my toe turned black.. but other then that it wuz ok! carlos is in our recital too which is kool... but thats the higher class...
my dad picked me up and we went to publix and i got cookie mix and icing... to make cookies... and it took freaking for ever to get icing on all of those cookies... theyre good too.lol... i cleaned up... but i guess not good enuff bcuz guess wut... my mom started yelling at me... again... and i wuz trying to be nice to her todai too... but then she started yelling at me for being good for nothing and not doing wut i said i would or wut im supposed to... and she blamed it on me being on the phone.. but she wouldnt let me talk until finally i wuz yelling at her and told her i couldnt clean up as much bcuz i am in pain.... constantly my hips grind and it hurts so bad.. and my back is starting to hurt a lot like it did last year when i had a slip disc... and now my toe... and so she started telling me i needed to stop dancing out of skool... and i told her i cant go to da and not dance out of skool.. i would never be able to achieve n e thing... so she told me i need to start thinking about going to a different skool... and that i should might even start thinkin about going to terry parker next year.... bcuz she doesnt want me in 11th grade having to not be able to walk real well... and i knoe i hardly ever want to dance like i used to and im tired of dance and stuff... but i cant see myself not doing it... so then i started crying again... and ... yeah...
but then me, emily and ryann went to see new york minute and amc, i saw victoria while we were getting tickets and she wuz with this kid hoo rides my bus and i think they were going out... and then they were with most of rachel's and jarrods neighbors... i hadnt seen vic since 8th grade cuz she goes to lavilla and b4 taht i hadnt seen her since 5! shes a year younger but she looks so different! ne wayz... even tho the movie wuz a typical stupid... u knoe wut the ending is gonna be oleson twins movie... it wuz surprisingly rlyrly funnie! hehe yeah i always have fun with ryann and emily... while emily went into troy for a couple minutes me and ryann waited by the door and she wuz just staring out the window and this group of people thought she wuz staring at them... so they all started turning around and talkin about it and i told ryan and so we started laughing and then all of the people started laughing and looking and pointing at us... it wuz perty funnie. after ryann left, me and emily hung around inside and i saw kayla and melanie ( who is so gorgeous). and after awhile i didnt wanna be inside n e more so we headed out and emily told this man he had a big mustache and it wus soooo funnie! ahaha so we walked out laughing and i turned around and i saw aj. which wuz rly weird cuz the other day he wuz telling me he never goes to the movies so... but it wuz kool and then his friend and his brother came over and we started talking and emily wuz alrdy rly hyper.. but um she got worse and she wuz acting rly dumb... and i love her and all and i felt bad bcuz his brother and his friend were making fun of her so bad rite in front of her face and she didnt even realize it... but then my mom came and i pretended not too see her and she called my cell and started yelling at me... again... asking where i wuz and stuff and told her i wuz rite there but she kept saying no i wuznt cuz she didnt see me... so she started cussing at me saying "where the fuck are u, im never fucking doing this again.." blah blah blah i wuz trying not to listen so i wouldnt get upset and then she told me i could never go out again... and yeah... so then i told aj that i had to go cuz i wuz in trouble and we said bye to everybody and he gave me and emilay hugs and then we left... my mom didnt say n e thing other then complain about the curfrew security and we took emily home... on the way back she cooled down and started talking about sumthing.. actually she talked... but i wuznt rly listenin... i wuz thinkin bout sumthin else...er...
when i got home i got online and i talked to jonet about stuff and she tole me that ryan wrote me sum rly sweet notes and stuff... and then awhile later he signed on... and i said hey... but me and him rnt getting along very well... hes hurting me.. a lot... and everynite b4 i go to bed i read all the notes hes ever given me... and sumtimes they make me feel better and other times i end up crying my self to sleep... and i dont knoe but he isnt treating me very well and it tears me up bcuz sumtimes he is so sweet and nice and other times hes kinda.. well... mean and it gets me rly upset.. and thatz how he wuz acting lately and i wuz trying to get sum advice from jonet and she told him off.. and i felt bad she did, even tho she cares about me and wanted to stick up for cuz she says i dont need to be treated like that... but i told him i sorry and that i wuz gonna let him have his space.. which means i wont be talkin to him for awhile cuz he needs to figure things out... which is gonna be rly hard for me.. cuz not talking to him for a couple days is hard... and then jonet wuz saying all this stuff to me and i wuz crying rly hard... and im trying rly hard not to cry rite now bcuz i dont knoe wut to do...
but im not gonna type up everything i feel.. especially about .. er.. sum1.. cuz im so tired and sumtimes i wish everything would go back to the way it wuz... when we were back together but i knoe everything happens for a reason... but this better be a damn good one cuz im tired of this...
im out
my toe hurts
goodnite
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2004 14 May :: 10.46pm
:: Mood: sickly
:: Music: Sidewalks by STory of the Year
i had a lot to say earlier... but i kinda forgot... ill remember later... ive been rly busy and rly lazy thats y i dont rly update this thing the way i used to... me and emily r pretty much ok now.. i wus mad at her a lil todai for tellin aj sumthin but now its kool... i dont the way ryan is treating me tho... um yeah.... me and jonet get closer every day.. i love u gurl! lol.. well im tryin to get everybody to sign my bo bo yrbk but i keep forgetting...
there has been lots o drama in my life lately.. i dont wanna talk about it tho.. it sux... dance is going down hill... i screwed up my toe rly bad.. i dont knoe wut the fuck i did to it but i first i thought i broke it. but now i dont think so cuz i can move it... i knoe i cracked my toenail tho.. and everytime i dance it sweels up like a balloon.. and its purple. thursday i wuz stupid and did pointe and the nail turned black. gross. but now its just a pretty color of blue and purple. lol and it hurts like hell... it got caught under a door b4 first period wed going to ethnic... its bad luck!!
i didnt rly have a good day todai...i had a rly long lunch tho which wuz kool... and kirby made me feel better... i went to jonets class in 3rd period and kirby called my name and said he thought my shirt wuz rly cute and i didnt even knoe he knew hoo i was lol.. and then sumhow me and becky started talking about him and she told me that he thought i wuz perfect... she said i wuz in the courtyard where he was sitting once and he told her "wow she beautiful and smart.. to me that is the perfect person" i thought that wuz soo sweet! i didnt even knoe he knew hoo i was.. usually when i hear things about me its bad stuff... but that made me happier.. i dont rly talk to kirby but i hate it when people talk about him cuz theyre always like "oo is he a gurl or guy?"...
yeah but im gonna go
i dont feel so good...
nitenite
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2004 14 May :: 5.42pm
not a good day....
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2004 10 May :: 4.51pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: er...
my day didnt go so well well and i dont have enuff time to explain y cuz i gotta bounce for dance soon... but since i can waste 5 minutes rite quick...
heres an assignment we had to do in english today...
*******
An edible peanut made of wire
An elephant light as a feather
Circus clowns acrobatting in the intersection
Laughing with tears..
My life balancing on a trapeze wire
My senses loosing balance along the seas
My thoughts feeling like popcorn
When you're the only one on my mind
But really you're not the only one of my mind
and I'm actually thinking of someone else...
The intriging mysterious and quiet spector,
sitting to my right.
And as it feels like
I'm constantly jumping through rings of fire
You're the only one,
who could have brought this circus of torment in my life.
*******
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2004 7 May :: 11.29pm
:: Music: Fuck you by Luda
**pRoM nItE!!!!**
AHH!!! it wuz so much fun!!! loads of fun... but hell to get rdy... and well.. im not gonn say... cuz wut goes on the limo... stays in the limo.. and dats all im gonna say... cept devon singin wuz perty funnie...but i had a perty good time.. cept i felt like the goody too shoes.. but wutever i wuznt bout to get my ass kicked by mom so wutever.
holla back at cha bo
tahtah
quotes for da nite
"fuck u!"
"i would like sum sparkling water yes"
" i did not order this take it away"
"be gone leave our circle"
"fucking lesbians!"
"damn rednecks"
"maxville mafia"
"wut goes on the limo stays in the limo"
"strippin in da sea"
"going at it like fucking rabbits"
"did my date go?"
"give me sum fabreez dave"
DAVE WUZ OUR DRIVER AND HE WUZ DA COOLEST!!!!! love ya!
That would be for me
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Izntlifesojuicy
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2004 5 May :: 7.40pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: What It's Like by Jagged Edge
CINCO DE MAYO!
wweellllllll........
lots of things have been going on lately... on friday i saw ryan! i didnt think i wuz gonna cuz it poured rain and everybody had water fights at skool lol... aaron pushed me into this water fall and i got soaked. i wuz soooo cold it wuznt even funnie... and rico comes up to me "hey u knoe i can see throo ur shirt" um... lol... he wuz trying to get all up on me and i wuz like back away. haha just playin i wuznt mean. he told me hes not "over" me... err... but back to the important stuff yeah i saw ryan and it wuz perty kool cept he wouldnt let me see his hair, i wuz freezing, i looked like crap i wuz a mess... and i had to pee so bad u wouldnt even knoe. haha. it wuz great n e way tho. later that nite josh posed as sumone else and called me a slut and all this rly mean stuff and then told me to call him cuz he would pic up that time... but guess wut he didnt so wutever. i also saw mean girls with ryann. that wuz rly kool. we saw a lot of peepz we knew, marcelle, lucy, charley, susanne, andre, kelly and his friend.. and i saw erin and then met her brother (he goes to stanton and knoes andrew simak) and her mommy. her mom thought i wuz over 18... *oh my* saturday i went to ryanns and we were supposed to go to the beach but we didnt... just hung out.. only i wuznt supposed to be over there cuz my mom was pissy and my room wuz a mess.. and my dad "didnt knoe" i wuznt allowed... so i had to go all the way home... clean my room in less then an hour (it wuz rly messy.. u couldnt even see the floor it wuz so bad) and then i got my stuff together, got dressed and went to her house. we went out to eat at Cross Creek with her parents and her grandma and grandpa. AKA nina mama and deedith. hmm... oo we saw a prom couple getting rdy to go to prom and got picked up in a car with a driver hoo came out with an umbrella and aawww it wuz so cuhute. it wuz a nasty day tho with it pouring rain and all.... it wuz also DA's prom but of course i didnt go. i heard it wuz good tho. i slept over and fell asleep early and then the next day i woke up at 10:30 and then we left at 11am and went surfing! we went to hannah park and it wuz kinda cloudy. u knoe. the waves were rly choppy and it wuz rly hard paddling out when there were waves crashing into u every 2 seconds. i went on her dads board... it wuz my first time ever and i wuz kinda freaked out but it wuz rly kool.. had sum troubles tho... the hardest part wuz staying on the board while i wuz paddling. i kept slipping off it wuz weird. i stood up my second try for a few seconds and then i fell off and then the second time i stood up it wuz only one foot and then i fell off... a couple other times i chickened out. i knew it wuz gonna be hard but i didnt think my arms were gonna hurt that bad from paddling. i have no arm strength at all. lol gonna to do sum push ups and sums raising the roof, pushing the wall *lol ryann!* we got back after 2 hours and went in the pool and then tanned. *me topless lol ryann* ryann made us sum yummy pina colodas... mmmm. my mom wuz bitchin tho and i had to go home and go out with her to get sumthing for my dress. o gosh wow prom is friday.... yikes! i have no idea wut to do with my hair i hate it... im excited tho.. i hope i have fun... i better... cuz im sacrificing alot just to go... with spring concert and all that work and stuff.. im not going to skool friday. haha
well lets see at skool... lots o drama... me and emily aint so great these days and it hurts u knoe but i dont knoe wut to do... i tried talking to aj bout it todai and stuff but... i ono. itz like the seasons yo...
ive been reading lots of ole things... old emails, convos... old journals... got me thinking... and cryin.. im so stupid i always expect myself got to get sad when i do that stuff but i do n e way and i knoe i will.. soo... yeah....
me and my dad been getting into fights lately over u knoe hoo and today while i wuz eating dinner i wuz trying to talk about it but they just got me upset while i wuz trying to stick up for ryan.. but they dont rly understand and i keep telling them to open their eyes and look at their juvenile deliquent hoo needs sum serious therapy and medications...
gotta blast!
tahtah
-: im over sumthin. started sumthin... finished that... started sumthin... got over sumthin ... started sumthin again.. and tryin to get over it... :-
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2004 27 April :: 5.17pm
:: Mood: sAd
well ive been thinkin... and well u guys... u knoe those friends that u have on ur buddy list but u just never talk to them n e more. friends that used to be rly close to u, but now u just dont talk to n e more? friends hoo used to go to skool with u, friends hoo used to be ur neighbor. friends hoo used to call every day... friends u used to eat lunch with or friends u would wave to in the hall. the person hoo sat behind u in 1st or 6th period and u would joke about the stupidest things and pass notes while the teacher wuznt looking... friends hoo r on ur phonebook in ur phone and ur like "hey i havent talked to that person in forever. i wonder how they're doing.. maybe i'll call them later..." and yet u never do. friends hoo used to always be there for u. friends u would laugh with. the friend u would call when u were down and they knew exactly how to make u feel better. friends u would spill all ur problems to. friends with inside jokes. friends who will always give the rite advice. friends u would go out with to the movies or the mall or just hang out around the house. basically wut im saying is that u can never have too many friends. and all those people hoo used to be ur friend can be ur friend again. give them a call or IM them next time they sign on. trust me u'll be glad u did... and ull remember how much u miss them... friend is one of the best thing that u'll have. dont take them for granted...
A poem I just found... a very special poem written to me a long time ago...
---MY ANGEL MY FRIEND---
I never thought that I would find
a friend so great and a friend so kind
I look up to you in every way
'cause I learn something from you every day.
Without you I don't know where I'd be
but you're still here, friends with me
you deserve so much more than I can give
but without you I wouldn't live.
You've given me more than money can buy
and for you I'd give my all and I would die
This feeling I feel gets stronger every day
hoping not to screw it up, I constantly pray.
I know we have our problems every now and then
but once it's fixed our friendship is better times ten
and I want you to know that I truly do care
even in fights when I say things that aren't fair.
You're an angel from God up above
and I'm thankful for your understanding love
because when you're around everything seems right
and for you, until the end, I will fight.
It doesn't matter what you do or say
because you'll be my friend anyway
I know the real you that's down deep inside
and in you, I'll always confide.
Thanks for being the friend you are
you're my best friend, an angel by far
everything in you is an inspiration to do great
and you'll be loved by all cause that's your fate!
So never stop being the real and wonderful you
cause God shines through in all that you do
and whenever it seems like I'm never there
remember this: I love you and I'll always care!
That would be for me
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Izntlifesojuicy
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2004 25 April :: 10.01am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Screaming Infedelities by Dashboard Confessional
well.. i woke up about 2 hours ago but yeah here it wuz yesterday wuz like...
well i woke up at 12 and got online to see hoo wuz on.. and i realized i fell asleep last nite while i wuz online talking to AJ, and i felt rly bad.. but o well... n e hoo i tried to start on my ethnic paper, only it didnt go so well and i got wuz the title.. so i started to talk to peoplez online.. i decided to clean my bathroom... and i cleaned the whole damn thing and i realized there was a stain on the rug and on the door and told my mom about it and shez like "o yeah i forgot to tell u i spilled hair dye all over the place.." gee thanx y couldnt she just screw up her own bathroom all the time... but then i called emily and we were talking bout sum stuff and then at like 4 i had to go eat... so i went in my mom's room to watch tv and then i hit myself self and i wuz like stupid u need to be doing ur homework. (i have A LOT) so i brought my algebra homework in there and it wuz perty easy this time.. i think im actually starting to understand the factoring stuff we're doing. this is the only thing the whole year ive had trouble with.. itz hard! i would do 2 problems and then watch the move "blown away" and then aaron lee called... and then i told him i wanted to watch the movie. and once i wuz over.. i stared at the phone and i wanted it to ring but it didnt soo... i remembered that i promised myself i wuz gonna call josh today.. since i havent talked to him in 8 months... every time i call he hangs up once he realizes itz me.. or he gets mary to tell me hez not there or hez out with his "pretend girlfriend" cuz hez such a loser he cant get a real one... im sorry but josh has changed... ever since we broke up hez been an ass... especially at skool.. all he has is he marching band friends, and a few others like jay and steven. but n e wayz i dialed his cell number and blocked the number but no one picked up. and then awhile later i dialed it again and mary answered the phone. and that took me totally off guard cuz i called his cell... and so i wuz like "is ryan.. i mean josh there?" i wuz thinking to myself, "wut the fuck did i say ryan for? thatz so weird... i think itz cuz ive been thinking about him so much but n e wayz... but i think that kinda pissed mary off, that i couldnt even get his name straight (but josh's middle name is ryan.. hmm weird) and she got an attitude and is all "who is this?" "alyssa" and so she gives the phone to marissa (shez like 7) to give to josh and shes like "JOOOSSSHHHH joshie! sumbody on da phone for uuu!" shes so cute and i think i heard him say sumthin in the backround and then he took the phone... AND.... then he hung up. lol... well.. i said fuck rly loud... and just stared at the phone for a minute. i decided to call his cell again but he had turned it off so i left a message on his voicemail.. and i hope he feels like shit once he hears it... i just told him that i missed him and stuff and that it always seems like he doeznt want to talk to me at all n e more and whenever i call he ignores me so i wuz wondering y.. and i said to call me back even tho i knoe hez not... o well... i just dont understand how we could go from how we used to be...like the perfect couple.. to not talking at all... i shared so many things with him that i havent told n e body else and itz like that whole year and 8 days meant absolutely nothing... and all those things he said... he didnt even mean.. and ive heard he even makes fun of me... iwuz talking to jay about it and he wuz telling me hez just an asshole... o well...
ryann floyd called me and wanted to knoe if i wanted to go to the movies with her. like on date. lol... well i convinced my mom and then i took a shower and got rdy blahblahblah and we left at 7:30. but when i looked in the mirror i realized my eyes were rly red.. they had been bloodshot all day and i had no idea y.. i looked rly weird... like evil or sumthin lol. we got into the movie theatre (we saw 13 going on 30) and ryann turns around and says alyssa look how people are behing us (there rly wuznt that many but..) then she goes, "carly?" to this gurl sitting behind us.. and shes like "yeah?"
"carly?"
"yeah hoo r u?"
"itz me ryann?"
"um.."
"carly?"
"yeah..."
"wutz ur last name?"
"sparks"
"o sorry wrong carly"
ahaha i laughed sooo hard... it wuz weird tho that there wuz another carly hoo looked exactly like her... n e hoo the movie started and me and ryann were talking about going back to skool and being nice to everybody and say hay to everybody we knew.... and to sum we didnt... but n e wayz... the movie wuz soo good!! i cried twice! and i wuz trying to hard not to but i just started bawling and then i started laughing... but 13 going on 30 wuz rly good.. and it got me thinking.. alot.. and i made a decision like on thursday or friday and well... now im kinda thinking back on it...a lot of people have been telling to do this one thing.. but i dunno cuz well my heart and my brain are saying 2 different things... only i cant tell which one is saying which.. i just knoe there r 2 choices and i dont knoe where to go... but n e hoo we came out of the movie and all these ladies were crying and me and ryann were wondering if our eyeliner wuz running cuz we were both crying. aawww... there were these gurls in the bathroom and they look like 10/11 and they were all dressed up looking like hoochies and i wuz like no ma'am... it wuz like 10 o clock and my dad wuz there yet so i got in ryanns car with her dad and mom and we sat there observing people.. and then my dad picked me up and on the way home we were trying to figure out a name for my dads band.. theyre at the recording studio rite now.. my dad used to be in a band when they still lived in new york and they were together for awhile and my dad likes to brag about how they used to open for big bands.. back in the day... er... they were called the stanlees and the other guys wanna go and call the new band that again.. but um no i dont think so and my dad doeznt want to n e way.. i think itz cause his old band members are dead... one got into a car accident and another wut had a drug overdose. i think? i dunoo... '
but i got online at like 10:30 and i wanted to see if AJ wuz online cuz i wanted to talk to him but he wuznt.. so i went to bed.
and then i woke up rly early this morning at like 8... and i started to do my home work but then i said fuck it and started playing solitaire again.. my mom made break fast and then when i wuz done eating i came back to my computer and when to ryan's website. i hadnt been there in awhile and i decided to read his journal. since the very beginning.. only i read it out of order. o well... i started crying when i read sum entries so i would have to stop for awhile and then start reading it again... there were sum funnie stuff.. sum stuff i had missed... sum confusing stuff.. sum suspicious stuff.. but a whole lotta stuff that made me rly sad... and i felt rly stupid crying but... o well.. when i wuz done i decided to come and update my journal... and here i am.. but i gotta go finish my homework. i wuz supposed to go to the beach today cuz i LOVE the beach.. but i have too much stuff to do and i have to go out with my mom and get a shawl for my prom dress.. im going to devons "prom" at his skool and we got a limo we're gonna share with 2 other couples and i think itz gonna be rly kool.
well tahtah
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That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2004 23 April :: 8.47pm
:: Mood: deeeepressed
:: Music: I Want You by Janet Jackson
yeah... well as u can see... i havent updated in awhile... ive just been extremely busy... and depressed so i havent rly been feeling like writing n e thing. besides no one wants to hear wut i wanna say n e way... a lot of things have been going lately... and a lot of nothing... i dont rly feel like saying everything but... i decided to run for sophomore class president.. and then undecided... i have my appilication filled ....skipped to chase around a guidance counselor... then i tried to chase around all my teachers... and when i finally realized i wouldnt be able to get to them to fill out my recoomendation forms out i just gave up bcuz i wuz rly stressed out.. and the caidates rnt all that great and a lot of people have been ocming up to me and saying that if i ran i would have won... but a lot of other people thought i wuz too stupid.. but n e wayz a lot of other stuff... dont rly feel like mentioning... but feeling lonely... very lonely... missing ryan...
today wuz a horrible day... we didnt have teachers for most of the periods for 1st and 2nd... i wuz practically crying in 1st.. and dead in 2nd... i lost all my dance clothes... forgot my homework...felt rly sick... cussed my self out for not sitting with kristie.. and jt... had a pop quiz in algebra... practically fell asleep standing up... fell asleep on the bus... talked to aj and sum other peez online... went to dance.. did rly bad.. and announced to the class i didnt want dance to be my career... got a lecture... was got on my case my ms tammy cuz she knew sumthing wuz up... cried on the way home.. played solitare for a half hour without being able to win... and now here i am... and i dont knoe if i am going to keep up with this journal... im wanting to say things i wouldnt be comfortable or wutever with knowing people r reading it... besides hoo rly cares about my daay n e way? and i wanna keep it i have to send in money cuz the guy iz making us pay but itz not a big deal itz like 2 dollars and the only problem is, is that i keep forgetting about it sooo....
yeah im just gonna... go.. doo... sumthin else..
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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2004 14 April :: 5.32pm
:: Mood: grrr....
:: Music: Loneliness by Babyface
intresting date we got here...
welllllllllllllllll......... i havent much been feeling like writing lately and i sure as hell dont now either.... bbutt....im doing it cuz i dont wanna do my home work and im totally stumped on wut to rite for my essay..... life hasnt been the greatest these days... my mom is being a total bitch and i've been crying a lot bcuz of her... including this morning. she expects for me to take all this shit from her... sum rly rude, mean and hurtful things she says to me and then she expects to just sit there and say yes ma'am. um no i dont think so. i dont care if wuz a mother fucking queen i dont let n e body talk to me like that... and ur mom is not the one hoo is supposed to be calling u a stupid bitch.
BUT N E WAYZ... im running for class president.... well i think... i wanna run for vice president cuz i dont knoe if i could handle it... sum people tell me they knew i could... and others just look at me like im stupid and wondering if im rly serious... a ton of rly good people r running... soo... i dont knoe.. and i have to write my essay for my application and i knoe wut i wanna say... its just not coming out rite and itz rly frustrating....grrr... maybe itz not the best time...
today wuz ok.....
in 1st period we turned in our storyboard for flamenco and i think my group's is really good... i laughed so hard during this class... especially when dr. penney had to come in and watch us while ms webb had to go do sumthin... and well after dr. penney read our story board she decided to teach us sum combinations or steps or wutever. and i wuz like ''aight thatz kool i never had drpenny teach us sumthin b4'' and then she did this 'thing' i dont knoe wut to call it but it looked like a messed up version of the seviance step... i didnt think she wuz serious.. i just thought she wuz jokin... so i laughed so hard cuz she looked so retarded and well... then i realized she wuz serious... and yeah... then amy, and jonet shoved me into the stagemovement class next door (theatre kids haha) bcuz they wanted me to announce that i wuz running for class president.. and well i looked rly stupid and they started giving me looks and i thought i heard one of them say "is she rly serious?'' sooo yeah...
2nd period wuz pointe and my shoes are way past dead... theyre actually soft after the box and the tip.. and thatz rly bad.. i dont knoe when i can new ones but it sux and it hurts like shit and i had to ask ms jenkins if i could take em off...
3rd period we took notes and did sum crap with sum logo's and stuff, for our family crest... megan chins looked rly pretty.. mine wuz ok... mine had *meaning* but it had nothing to do with my family. haha. my family iznt very supportive rite now...
lunch.. i ate.. and went to go get my teacher reccomendation forms at the office with garrett roberts but i had to fill out the application first so i wuz like crap....
4th period we discussed our literary circle thing about the book anthem we're reading...
i have no back on my chair so i just sit on the floor now against the wall next to my desk... people around me were giving me strange looks and jamison wouldnt shut up and quit talking to me so ms. harrison wuz snapping her fingers at me telling me i had to get up.. and i said "um no" and then i told her i couldnt cuz i had no back to my seat and she said i had to be quiet.. wutever. i dont like ms harrison. n e wayz i think ima sitt on the floor now itz more comfortable for my poor back and itz easier to fall asleep. ms cooper wuz kool about it too. she wuz like "since u like sitting on the floor so much alyssa, itz kool, next time sumone doeznt have a seat they just use urs. but i showed her my seat and shez like "oh" so wutever
but i need to go workon my essay and i think we have a biology test 2moro still.. so i gotta learn on that junk cuz i havent been paying attention... o yeah and algebra.
grrr
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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::
2004 3 April :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: eh i dont remember wut this song is called but its by dashboard confessional
omigosh.... im soooooooo tired... totally exhausted..
well i arrived at kristen's at like 1:45 i dont rly remember... and amy and sam were jumpin on the nasty trampoline lol.. well after awhile the pizza came and we started typing up the stuff that wuz supposed to go on the storyboard. but sam wuz supposed to bring the digital camera so that we didnt have to draw on the story board. cuz dancers cannot draw.. tht is y our art area iz dance.. not art lol but she couldnt get it from her sister.... so after trying to type up the main points... kristen drove us to the park and we brought her regular camera... well first we couldnt park cuz of all the soccer games and then there wuz all this contruction and i had a hard time climbing the fence... but when we finally got to the rite spot... her camera didnt work... so we had to walk all the way back to the car (it wuz a long way) and then we stepped on all this wet tar... ahaha i have it all on my shoes.. when we got to the car kristen drove us to walgreens and we got a disposable. we were about to go back to the park cuz we alrdy wasted too much time and sam had to leave at 4:30 soo... we took all the pictures in either walgreens, the parking lot trees or publix.. we got a lot of weird looks... but after it wuz all done we dropped it off at the one hour photo.. to be picked up in more then a hour.. and we got contruction paper and sum drinks or wutever... dont remember... but we drove bac k to kristens and sam just had to put the country on.. really loud.. with the sun roof down.. today wuz soo pretty i wanted to go the beach so bad.. but noooo.... k well when we got back we tried to work on the script summore... cuz well the project is that we're doing a commercial... and itz flamingo collars... itz rly rly funnie but the thing that we did wuz the story board... and well sam wuz doing it wrong but i didnt feel like arguing so i waited until she left at 5 to fix it. she had a preformance she had to get rdy for... but rite b4 she eft we tried starting the t-shirts we're making.. but we never finished. and then a little after sam left amy left.. at maybe i ono 20 minutes later... so they were gone and we didnt get even half of it done.. so me and kristen were left to do it all by ourselves. *tear*. i had started typing most of the script and then kristens parents came back with the pics we took... well they came out horrible... cuz the lighting wuz bad... they werent tha bad.. cept the ones with me in it. haha
we found out there wuz no double sided tape... and we werent about to go use glue.. so me and kristen went to walgreens for like the 20th time today... we came back and started taping down the title. then i started writing the script in more detail making sum changes and putting down the camera angles... *yawn* me and kristen were getting so stressed cuz we both have other projects we need to do... so we went to spray the tri-fold board with glitter spray and we thought we screwed it up at first but then it dried.. and we were freaking out soo finally we were both hungry and kristen and me decided to go to chik fil a.. it wuz i ono 7... and kristen drove us and we were talking about guys.. wel she did i talked about ryan lol... she wuz trying to explain this guy JC... hez a freshman in college and he treats her like crap and iz always disrespecting her and stuff... and they're not going out they just act like it... and he haznt called her so shez trying to see how long it would take him to call... and then i wuz explaing about ryan... and she said when she heard my voicemail greeting she laughed so hard.. and then she asked me hoo did it and i told her ryan.. but she thought it wuz ryann floyd cuz she said he sounded like a gurl.. um... ok... lol i ono... i dont think so..
we ate at the chick fil a at the mall in the foodcourt and there were a lot of old people... i saw max willman.. but i just waved... after we were done eating we went back home and we played them tunes real loud and i sang along...lol... att like 7:3 my phone rang and it said "home" and i wuz like o shit... cuz i wuz in the car and kristen wuz driving.. and well thats an absolute no no.. and if they ever found out i would seriously be grounded for life and die... so i didnt answer it... but i wuz like freaking out..
when we got to her house i called back.. but it wuz only my brother looking my the dog's brush... whew...
we were running out of time and we really wanted to get this over with so we went to da computer and started typing away.. and we came up with sum rly funnie stuff i rly hope we get an A. cuz we worked sooo hard. seriously. Jone't called...i alked to her alil bit but kristen wuz kinda mad she didnt come... after about wut seemed like forever... maybe 9ish.. we finished all the typin ( 8 scenes and like 35 shots maybe more) and so we had to go and cut out all the stuff and lay it out in the rite places and then tape it down...with the double sided kind... i hated cutting.. not fun.. i wanted to stab myself with the scissors lol... it wuz about 9:30 and we finished cutting it all out and i just had to get sum pictures of anna nicole and flamingos... and so at 10:00 it wuz all layed out and kristen started taping but we ran out so i decorated with glitter stix... finally my dad came and he came to look at our masterpiece and it looks perty good... not as good as it could have been.. but good enuff. my dad said it looked rly good.. i didnt get home till 10:40 and itz 11:45 now and im sooo tired... omg ahh i wanna ddiiiieee... im supposed to be going over to g to da peaks house 2moro.. dand do my paper mache model.. but he never called me so i have to call him 2moro morning meaning i must be up early to finish the 5 page pape to go with it.. ah i am so stressed out and my biology project is due wednesday and kristen told me that i have an ethnic paper due tuesday and i hate this shit i have a test monday... im going to go now tho.. and maybe if i'm lucky i'll sleep well and dream of ryan... yeah i wish..
ok well
tahtah
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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::
2004 2 April :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: yucky
:: Music: The Reason by Hoobastank
ToDaY
ok i got yesterday over with, now tooddaayyyyyyy....
well i went to the cafeteria b4 1st period... and i saw jesse... i never talk or see him n e more.. but he seemed rly sad or rly out of it... he said he wuz just tired.. i hope he didnt go to jerusalem to smoke too... but n e wayz.. o yeah kalid brought in the stereo from his car or whatever and he played "yeah" by usher (me and ryann's song... DO DA MUSCLE!) and everybody wuz singing along.. and then at the end when they do the dance thingies where theyre like "do da muscle" and "rock away" and all that i wuz doing it ahahaha ryann said i wuz embarrassing her.. but she usually does it with me... grrr
1st period-ethnic- we didnt dance thank god.. instead we went over the stage movement class for the theatre kids, where ms bird was giving a lecture with a video on nutrition and all that stuff... *yawn*
2nd period- we had ms giles.. modern.. did a bunch of improv.. it wuz ok...
3rd period-world history- light day.. we took notes and ms hughes read us sum stuff and we were gonna watch mulan but she couldnt get it to work so we had free time. woo hoo..
lunch- i sat with emily and rach and all of them.. but after awhile it wuz *yawn* so i sat by jonet-net, sarah p, austin m, garret r, aaron r, zack m.. and yeah.. we were talking about the ranch dressing for awhile lol cuz its different now.. and then we talked about emily.. and then garret wuz trying to get me to make out with him.. and i wuz like um no... i would feel rly weird about it with nicola and all.. and besides.. i didnt want to.. so..yeah... but i realized i never kissed n e body hoo wuznt my bf b4.. interesting...
4th period- english- oo jamison needs to stop! lol first he wuz trying to get up my skirt and then when i moved away he read my journal. NOT KOOL JAMIE! it wuz a good class.. i liked... perty easy stuff... and i pulled emily out of class to talk to her outside cuz she llooked like she wuz crying and i wanted to knoe wut wuz up but it wuz this whole thing about them guys... so ya..
bus- boring.. i sat next to kellay and he made fun of my for always looking at the window and then cliff built of bus mascot. a wire man with a 3 third leg.. dude looked like i tripod lol... i got home rly late tho.. didnt get home till like 4:50.
so n e wayz i went to jazz at 6:30 and we started working on our piece for recital.. which in May 29th.. and yalls best be coming.... well n e wayz i dont rly like it... itz to one of the old janet jackon song.. so yeah..itz ok i guess tho... maybe i wuznt in the mood i ono.. cuz i had 2 pieces of pizza b4 i left and felt like i wuz gonna throw up the whole time... after dance tho one of the other teachers for ballroom invited us to a class... it wuz from like 8 sumthin to 11 but we only stayed till 9:30... it wuz a class.. and then it wuz like a party with just freestyle ballroom... n e ways during the class... well me and alena are the only ones under 18 and the ones closest to our ager were 2 gurls bout 24... lots of older people.. and old men.. it wuz fun tho. we learned east coast swing. and it wuz funnie to see how every guy wuz different and u could tell hoo never did it b4 and hoo wuz forced to go by their wives and stuff... there weer 3 guys i did ok with.. one wuz gay, one wuz rly old and kept counting like i couldnt count, and one wuz shorter then me... well it felt like it lol... me and alena were talking about bring our guy friends to it and stuff and i wuz like "o yes ryan must come" i think it would fun! hehe.... after the class wuz over.. it wuz just free wutever ballroom and one of the guys asked me to dance... and i wuz like um.. sure y not... he never took east coast swing b4 and wuz rly um awkard? i mean i never took it either but.. yeah he made me rly uncomfortable cuz he didnt rly knoe wut he wuz doing and the whole fucking time we were talking he stare at my boobs. and im like "im up here buddy" i didnt say ne thing but i should i have.. it wuz like he wuz staring down my leotard... alena said she got the same thing too... weird.. he thought i wuz like 19.. eh no im not lol but yeah he thought DA wuz a college... he must have been 30 sumthin or 29 i ono... then the gay guy tought me how to foxtrot and went on about me being a "ballerina".. it wuz weird and he almost stepped on my feet alot... then isaah(one of the teachers) thought me how to do a waltz.. and itz not as ez at it looks... and it wuz my first time ever doing ballroom and it wuz rly weird for me... but n e wayz i had a lot of fun.. but lmao this one man dance with alana doing sum sort of tango thing and it wuz so funnie laughed for the longest time...
im going to go im exhausted...
2moro im gonna be at kristins from like 1 to 5ish doing our ethnic dance story board.. o wut great fun... my cell will be on of course tho..
and on sunday im going to garrett peaks bcuz he's helping me with my model for ms bhomiks project on monday.. im doing the hawaiian islands so were doing a paper mache' model of it.. i hope itz not hard! grr
tahtah
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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::
2004 2 April :: 10.10pm
:: Mood: yucky
:: Music: Love Song by 311
OK this is yesterday...
hmm... well the april foolsing started b4 the first bell... it wuz this fake dead rat.. very nastay... a lot of people were screaming....
1st period- health- we talked about marriage sum more and it wuz very interesting... i wuz passing notes with jay tho... mostly tallking about ryan and i wuz tellin him a buncha stuff and jay wuz telling me how i shouldnt take that crap and he doeznt need to treat me like that.. but i wuz sticking up for ryan.. and yeah..
2nd period um.. jonet didnt come to skool and a bunch of us were worried bout her so i called her.. and she said she wuz saying home cuz she didnt feel good... but wut did we do? o yeah dance we had this weird class with ms. bird and eric wuz my partner.. hez a sophomore and he broke his foot awalla go so he hasnt danced in 4ever... i remember when i tried out for lavilla he wuz the helpers and i thought he wuz like soo cute.. and in the beginning of this year too.. but um not more lol... hez hilarious tho.. n e wayz it wuz this very odd partner massage and partner stretching.. i wuz joking around with eirc saying they all look like weird lesbian posistions..ahaha eric prolly thinks im soo weird.. but o well i am
3rd period-biology- not quite sure wut happened... we took notes.. i knoe that... but it wuz perty boring...
lunch- there were pine needles in the lunch courtyard.. with farm animal figurines.. it wuz so stupid.. people were saying it wuz april fools but .. i ono it wuz perty gay... i ate in the cafeteria and after sitting with emily and ryann i moved and sat with lawrence nelson, zack mccauly, adrianne, and max... for a awhile.. and i saw kristy and erin sitting with the justin and brandon (the trumble twins) and i wuz like "oo i'll just casually stop by and sit for awhile" well one of the friends evan got april fooled... well there were a bunch of guys on this one side saying evan hit this gurl.. so they were gonna beat his ass and stuff.. and the security guy mr bryant said he wuz gonna pretend like he didnt see n e thing.. so they were all up on him bout to pound him and cussin at him when all of a sudden they all jumped back and yelled april fools! it wuz perty funnie..
4th period-algebra- it wuz a funnie class... i got made fun of as always and we reveiwed our quiz.. and then started our test but we only had 20 minutes so i only got to 14.. we'll finish in monday. blah.
on the way to the bus tho one of the trumble twins actually waved. he waved! hopefull they still dont see me as the weird little chinese gurll... i am not no chinese..
-bus- talked to rachel.. dont remember bout wut...
n e hoo.... i didnt go to dance...well me and ryan werent rly talking but he wuz online and i wuz talking to ryann floyd and i wuz like "grrrr ryann his sn iz just sitting there on my bl and i wanna click it so bad.." and she told me to say hi.. but he starts talkin "dont talk to me" so yeah that made me.. not happy.. very hurtful.. i didnt even understand wut it wuz about... and then ryann went all off on him cuz i got rly sad and she wanted to knoe y... but for awhile wuz just rly sad about it i just sat there and stared into space... so we werent talking at all... and grr... but then he IM's me outta no where on one of his other sn.. and sayz..
hackausr [8:36 PM]: Y IS TELLIN ME UR SAD?
Horsemusic [8:40 PM]: wut?
hackausr [8:44 PM]: NVM...FUCK IT...
Horsemusic [8:44 PM]: i didnt understand..
hackausr [8:45 PM]: yea...ok
Horsemusic [8:46 PM]: wut iz that supposed to mean
hackausr [8:49 PM]: Nuthin Now lets go back 2 the silence thing..i liked it better that way... "
-after he said that.. i just snapped.. i wuz alrdy mad about this whole thing and i had been rly depressed about it and when he said that last thing... it rly hurt... it felt like sum one punch me in the stomach and knocked all of the air out of me... and i broke down crying.. not just cuz of wut he said.. but thats wut triggered it all... and i cried soo hard...like rly hard.. and i hadnt cried that hard in like well a little more then a year i think... or maybe it wuz on christmas eve... i dont remember.. well it wuz a long time.. the good thing wuz tho i wuz home alone so i didnt have to fess up to my mom.. she wouldnt rly accept my feelings to ryan.. i dont think she thinks i could actually love sumbody... but ne ways i forced myself to stop crying after about a half hour and i called jonet and she rly helped me out...
but this iz the rest of wut he said..
"hackausr [9:03 PM]: WELL I GUESS I'LL JUST TELL U WHAT I WAS ASKING SINCE I HAVE NUTHIN 2 DO X CEPT WAIT AND DIE
Horsemusic [9:05 PM]: wait and die?
hackausr [9:05 PM]: I ASK '' Y IS EVERYONE TELLING ME UR SAD?''
Horsemusic [9:05 PM]: o ok
Horsemusic [9:06 PM]: hoo iz this everyone
hackausr [9:07 PM]: NVM THAT
Horsemusic [9:08 PM]: o ok
hackausr [9:09 PM]: GRR... FUCK IT I TRIED.
Horsemusic [9:12 PM]: im sorry ryan but u have no rite to talk to me like that
Horsemusic [9:12 PM]: if u only knew..
hackausr [9:13 PM]: KNEW WHAT?
Horsemusic [9:14 PM]: how i feel"
after that i went to go lay down cuz i wuz exhausted.. and well i fell asleep even tho i shouldnt have.. and didnt wake up till like 10:55pm... i had calmed down and i saw that ryan IMed me...
skateventure01 (9:47:17 PM): hey listen we need to talk and decide wher this is going
skateventure01 (9:48:48 PM): r u even there?
skateventure01 (9:49:46 PM): hello?
skateventure01 (9:50:17 PM): im guessing ur really pissed at me and dont wanna talk?
skateventure01 (9:50:26 PM): i understand
skateventure01 (9:50:49 PM): but u wont have 2 put up with me fer long so0o0o yea
skateventure01 signed off at 10:03:14 PM.
IzntLifeSo JUICY (10:58:48 PM): hmm...
skateventure01 (10:58:58 PM): lolololol
skateventure01 (10:59:06 PM): oops wrong im
IzntLifeSo JUICY (10:59:12 PM): whut were u talking about earlier
skateventure01 (10:59:22 PM): oh yea
skateventure01 (10:59:32 PM): that was a long time ago tho
IzntLifeSo JUICY (10:59:35 PM): i wuz asleep
skateventure01 (10:59:35 PM): well n e ways
skateventure01 (10:59:38 PM): oh
skateventure01 (10:59:52 PM): well then gho back to sleep well talk sum other time
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:00:00 PM): no im awake now and i wanna talk
skateventure01 (11:00:15 PM): ok well...
skateventure01 (11:02:10 PM): umm i dont know how to say this but...i dont kno it its me and it probably is but weve been fighting alot and its been over stupid stuff and i started them ....
skateventure01 (11:02:43 PM): and i dont seem like our realationship is getting anybetter
skateventure01 (11:02:49 PM): think*
skateventure01 (11:03:29 PM): its almost as if its getting worse and i really dont think things will get any better
skateventure01 (11:04:06 PM): so i wanna cut my self off from u...cuz im the only one makeu sad and stuff...
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:04:17 PM): um
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:04:24 PM): cut ur self off???
skateventure01 (11:04:34 PM): yea
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:04:35 PM): like isolate?
skateventure01 (11:04:48 PM): not asociat with u anymore
skateventure01 (11:04:48 PM): we*
skateventure01 (11:04:51 PM): e*
skateventure01 (11:05:04 PM): cuz everytime i do
skateventure01 (11:05:16 PM): eventualy i do sumthin wrong
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:05:30 PM): o
skateventure01 (11:05:49 PM): yea i dont kno y i just do
skateventure01 (11:05:52 PM): right?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:05:58 PM): no
skateventure01 (11:06:11 PM): huh y no?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:06:33 PM): bcuz u dont do everything wrong it goes both ways
skateventure01 (11:08:42 PM): what do u mean bith ways?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:08:57 PM): itz my fault too
skateventure01 (11:09:41 PM): not itz not
skateventure01 (11:09:49 PM): when was it ur fault
skateventure01 (11:09:51 PM): ?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:10:15 PM): um yeah i make a big deal out of nuthing and get my feelings hurt over crap
skateventure01 (11:11:01 PM): well those are ur feelings and u have every right to feel the way u do because IT WASNT UR FAULT IT WAS MINE
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:11:22 PM): ugh plz stop saying that
skateventure01 (11:11:40 PM): but u kno its true
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:11:49 PM): no
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:11:49 PM): idont
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:11:59 PM): but wut exactly r u trying to say with this?
skateventure01 (11:12:25 PM): i not gonna talk to u anymore cuz i dont wanna hurt u anymore
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:12:47 PM): well thatz hurting me justthe same
skateventure01 (11:12:59 PM): what is?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:13:12 PM): not talking
skateventure01 (11:13:23 PM): well in the long run u'll thank me
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:13:26 PM): bcuz thats saying u dont even want to try to work throo it
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:13:35 PM): no i dwont
skateventure01 (11:15:06 PM): well i have tried to work threw it and i made it worse
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:15:23 PM): how did u try
skateventure01 (11:15:34 PM): well...
skateventure01 (11:15:38 PM): hmm...
skateventure01 (11:15:59 PM): OOK! maybe i didnt try but it seemed likei did
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:16:08 PM): uh
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:16:11 PM): ok..
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:16:22 PM): my point exactly u didnt rly try..
skateventure01 (11:17:04 PM): oh.......
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:17:05 PM): a if therez sumthing i dont like then thatz people giving up on the sumthing they either feel rly strong about or sumthing they worked hard for
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:18:21 PM): ryan i truly care about about u and i genuinly love so i look past a lot of things...
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:18:27 PM): love u*
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:19:06 PM): and whnever people talk about u.. and how u disrespect me or wutever i always stickup for u..
skateventure01 (11:19:09 PM): fuck u bitch!
skateventure01 (11:19:24 PM): lolol wrong im
skateventure01 (11:19:25 PM): im so sorry
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:19:29 PM): um
skateventure01 (11:19:29 PM): it was for john boy
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:19:33 PM): iwuz bout to say
skateventure01 (11:19:43 PM): VivaLaDeluxe247 (11:18:40 PM): king kong aint got shit on me
VivaLaDeluxe247 (11:18:50 PM): u lode chump
VivaLaDeluxe247 (11:18:54 PM): *lose
VivaLaDeluxe247 (11:19:03 PM): ok im going to bed
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:19:47 PM): that better be sum a[pril fools..
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:20:23 PM): k..
skateventure01 (11:20:36 PM): what were u saying
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:20:43 PM): uh
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:20:49 PM): scroll up to read it?
skateventure01 (11:21:10 PM): i did
skateventure01 (11:21:18 PM): u were about to say sumthin else
skateventure01 (11:21:57 PM): ok y do u stickuop for me thats stupid
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:22:00 PM): o i lost my train of thought i guess
skateventure01 (11:22:04 PM): i so mean to u
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:22:13 PM): well..
skateventure01 (11:22:22 PM): u should atleast be agreeing with thenm
skateventure01 (11:22:25 PM): them*
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:22:33 PM): well i dont
skateventure01 (11:22:55 PM): but u should
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:23:01 PM): see thatz y i dont think u knoe how much i rly love u...
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:23:12 PM): sum people call me crazy
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:23:14 PM): but iono
skateventure01 (11:24:16 PM): o
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:25:19 PM): yeah..
skateventure01 (11:26:54 PM): well u dont want me so umm....maybe u should move on ..theres probably houndreds of boys who like u and like maybe a few of them u might have the slightest feelings for
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:27:25 PM): how r u going to tell me i dont want u..
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:27:38 PM): do u knoe how many guys ive turned down?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:27:42 PM): in the past 2 weeks?
skateventure01 (11:27:50 PM): ???
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:28:17 PM): more then i would have thought... i think like 5
skateventure01 (11:28:35 PM): o well...
skateventure01 (11:28:45 PM): o*
skateventure01 (11:28:49 PM): well...*
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:28:59 PM): um
skateventure01 (11:29:15 PM): maybe i wasnt the right one
skateventure01 (11:29:23 PM): cuz i make u feel bad
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:29:27 PM): no u were
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:29:39 PM): cuz u were theonly one i could spell a real word with eir name
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:29:44 PM): their*
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:29:49 PM): yarn..
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:29:50 PM): lol
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:29:55 PM): ..er..
skateventure01 (11:30:30 PM): hmm....
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:30:53 PM): im weird
skateventure01 (11:31:08 PM): NO
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:31:12 PM): but n ewayz it seems to me like u just want to give up..
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:31:23 PM): and so i guess i ono wut to say but..
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:31:32 PM): i have to go soon tho cuz my mom cant find out im online... ive been ly out of it and i cant tell the difference of wut actually happended and wut is a dream.. so yeah..
skateventure01 (11:31:59 PM): ok well just one more thing....
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:32:03 PM): ok..
skateventure01 (11:32:56 PM): what makes u think that there is hope for us
skateventure01 (11:32:59 PM): ?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:33:17 PM): my feelings never faded
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:33:26 PM): wut makes u think there isnt?
skateventure01 (11:33:42 PM): its been about three months....
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:34:01 PM): 2
skateventure01 (11:34:08 PM): ok 2
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:34:08 PM): and a few days
skateventure01 (11:34:09 PM): still
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:34:16 PM): and?
skateventure01 (11:35:03 PM): thats a long time and nuthin really has changed
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:35:22 PM): ok..
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:35:31 PM): and so ur just gonna give up?
skateventure01 (11:35:41 PM): well....
skateventure01 (11:35:46 PM): if theres no hope
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:35:55 PM): and u think there isnt n e
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:36:03 PM): so u could have just said yes
skateventure01 (11:36:14 PM): yes to what?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:36:21 PM): that ur giving up
skateventure01 (11:36:34 PM): ....
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:36:43 PM): i feel lost
skateventure01 (11:36:56 PM): if u dont want me to give up i wont
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:36:56 PM): i think i missed sumthing
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:37:09 PM): forget about whut i want
skateventure01 (11:37:10 PM): this convo hass gone all over the place
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:37:19 PM): im asking u wut u want
skateventure01 (11:37:31 PM): what do i want?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:37:38 PM): yeah..
skateventure01 (11:37:44 PM): i want to back
skateventure01 (11:37:49 PM): u8
skateventure01 (11:37:50 PM): *
skateventure01 (11:37:59 PM): i want to hold u agian
skateventure01 (11:38:06 PM): and look in ur eyes
skateventure01 (11:38:17 PM): and see sumone who really loves ,e
skateventure01 (11:38:19 PM): me8
skateventure01 (11:38:30 PM): thats what i want
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:38:56 PM): then if u truly feel that way.. u shouldnt give up.. no one gets ne thing with out working for it
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:38:58 PM): trust me
skateventure01 (11:39:19 PM): fine i will
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:39:26 PM): u will wut
skateventure01 (11:39:32 PM): trust you
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:39:37 PM): o
skateventure01 (11:39:51 PM): and not give up
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:40:01 PM): i c
skateventure01 (11:40:36 PM): yea
skateventure01 (11:40:43 PM): but didnt u have to go?
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:40:53 PM): well as much as i would love and stay to talk.. i need to go to sleep b4 im tempeted to take claritin cuz it'll keep me up all nite..cuz well i kinda cried my eyes out earlier and it makes my allergies worse....
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:40:55 PM): yeah
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:41:05 PM): i guess ill just talk to u later then..
skateventure01 (11:41:21 PM): im sorry fer what i did
skateventure01 (11:41:24 PM): ok bye
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:41:26 PM): me too
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:41:28 PM): goodnite
skateventure01 (11:41:41 PM): sleep tight
IzntLifeSo JUICY (11:41:51 PM): dont let the meanies bite
yeah so that wuz perty much it... i guess we're better now...
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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::
2004 31 March :: 5.38pm
:: Mood: oo i am mad
:: Music: Rocket by Yellowcard (i love this song!)
ahhhh... skool sux so bad. i hate skool. but i suppose it could be worse... i could hate my teachers and friends too.. but i dont..
i got to skool after the tardy bell rang but i had ethnic so it didnt matter.. but my poor baby jonet-net and i felt so bad for her!! aw i wanted to cry with her... i dont knoe wut i would do if that wuz me... i tried to make her feel better not sure if it worked... but class wuz rly funnie... i cant wait to start filming our project.. it iz gonna be so cool! STEVE!!! STEVE WHERE R U STEVE!!!!!
in 2nd period um yeah my pointe shoes are too small but i had to use them n e wuz other wize she'll bring it down a letter grade.. i desperately need new ones...
3rd period... um yeah ms hughes put be on the board az a burnt biscuit.. they were making fun of me *tear* it wuz kinda boring... got to sit next to ryann... crap i cant call her ry ry da lobster no more... o well i shall find a new name... oo yeah and i wrote jay a note...
lunch i sat with jonet fer a lil and we got to lunch early so i saw jesse in A lunch and then sarah showed me this note between jay and her.. and then when i found emily i read a note between her and jay too.. but he wouldnt rly talk to me i think he wuz avoiiding me cuz everyone iz telling him to give up cuz of ryan.. soo yeah...
4th period wuz english and boring cept thank the lord ms harrison wuznt here it wuz just ms copper.. i love ms cooper! but today in 1st period in the dressing room all the tap ensemble gurls were talking bad about her and i told her about it and we were talking and stuff and one of the gurls called her a bitch and then ms cooper called her a bitch under her breath and she said they wouldnt listen to anything she said and totally disrespecting her and she had just been having a bad day... i feel for her! but hehe me and jamison have the funniest convos in that class... we played hangman during silent reading and they were all these nasty messages ahaha and ms cooper almost read it.... and then we had to write a narrative from this list and jamie wrote "the ex" on mine and circled it so i had to write about that... so i wrote thus 2 page paper all about ryan.. i would have wrote more but she didnt give us enuff time... and i love yelling out random stuff when itz dead silent... cuz earlier i told emily that i wouldnt go out with her and so jamie wuz buggin about it saying he knoes i have all these fantasies about her and it wuz rly quiet and i yelled out "jamison i am not a lesbian!" hehe...
after skool i wuz talking to rico and he wuz trying to decide on grade recovery or not and i told him he rly needs to do it cuz i wanna see him next year! he rly doeznt want to but he knoes he should cuz he said with his luck at the end of the year he will prolly have like a 1.9 or sumthing... he also asked me if i like jesse... um.. no... lol...
bus: **rachel**
and now i need to go cuz i have this huge biology project i need to start and i have to study for a math test and draw all these cycles for biology. sux booty but o well life sux wut can i say
tahtah
That would be for me
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izntlifesojuicy
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::
2004 30 March :: 6.43pm
:: Mood: grr
:: Music: The Reason by Hoobastank
lOvE tHiS sOnG...
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
That would be for me
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