The last dream

:: 2020 25 January :: 8.22pm

feeling drunk and feeling invisible

:: 2019 28 December :: 11.52pm

don't like feeling anxious

don't like feeling like a fool

:: 2019 13 December :: 12.54pm

NO ONE FUCKING CARES

just get it into your thick fucking troglodyte skull, self.

you don't matter now and you never will. you insignificant speck of shit.

2 tulips | bloom

:: 2019 15 November :: 10.30pm

rollercoaster today at work... some days I really love what I do and other times it makes me cry and I hate it. I just don't understand why so many people feel compelled to be assholes... like what does it really serve?

I guess everyone had bad days but if every day is a bad day maybe you need to change something..? maybe try a career change first?

I love have been feeling like I want to try to be a manager, but I just love what I do so much... like I would love to be a trainer, I'd love to be a business analyst...

I'd love to be a stay at home mom and active in my community and shit.

I just want to be in a position where we don't have to both work, so maybe we can make more time for fun things. you know... like back in the old days when more parents could afford to have one stay home and shit. TV & tablets raise kinda shitty kids...

:: 2019 15 November :: 10.23pm

:: 2019 27 October :: 11.57am

I've been a solid Rock lately but

I just can't right now.my cup is empty, and no one gives a fuck about my emotional needs.

so why do I kill myself caring about theirs?

:: 2019 10 October :: 2.23pm

I have a very strong force of chill

people get around me and they just melt into the couch and are comfy

I like chilling, and being lazy, but sometimes it sucks cuz I don't always want to be.

:: 2019 3 October :: 9.09pm

I can hardly imagine going to an open casket funeral, but to also dig their hole and put them in the hole you dug?

that is some next level shit. natives don't half ass saying good bye.

I just wish we didn't have to say goodbye at all.

3 tulips | bloom

:: 2019 28 September :: 11.00pm

it is such a secret place, the land of tears

:: 2019 26 September :: 2.29pm
:: Mood: crushed

https://youtu.be/jWFWazj7Ud8

we won't let you slip away....
but we did.

good bye friend. I wish you could have stayed longer.

:: 2019 16 September :: 11.05pm

I hate those God damned electric scooters being used in pitch black by drunk assholes dressed in shades of grey

I have been worried sick about hitting one and then one plows into me! and scoots off into the distance. ugh.

:: 2019 6 September :: 8.56am

Prozac has me like

https://youtu.be/0BS5lRJfJgQ

:: 2019 3 September :: 7.29am

we are arriving at the final warm days off summer, soon it will be fall and then it will be winter.

I feel like I'm moving in show motion as time hurdles past me.

I don't know what I want. I don't want anything, but I also want it all. I miss feeling like there was real adventure in my life.

maybe there never was. I want to move to a new city and see what different and exciting things I can find. I want to move to the country and never love in a big city again. I want kinda kids, I want to be a kid myself forever.

I honestly don't care, either things will happen or they won't. why fight against the current when I can just enjoy the ride until the waterfall throws us off to our deaths?

that is, if the river doesn't dry up first... like my optimism about the future.

:: 2019 27 August :: 8.27am

shake shake shake seniora shake your body line
work work work seniora work it all the time

:: 2019 21 August :: 10.58am

FUCK CAPITALISM

:: 2019 30 July :: 9.35pm

Kind words, kind looks, kind acts, and warm hand-shakes, - these are means of grace when men in trouble are fighting their unseen battles. -John Hall

:: 2019 30 July :: 7.05pm

I thought for the longest time capos were called "catbows" and I couldn't for the life of me understand why they were called that

:: 2019 23 July :: 10.44pm

being gamey boi with mah boi makes me happy

:: 2019 21 July :: 10.24am

I don't think I want this for the rest of my life.

why is alcohol so important in America and why can't they all just stop being alcoholics?

the bathroom still smells like puke.

bleh.

:: 2019 18 July :: 6.22am

been feeling a lil better lately, like the dark cloud is passing for now.

if only it would go away forever