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MISTAKING WIRES FOR VEINS

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xxinterrupted

:: 2005 10 March :: 10.40am
:: Mood: moody

Today is my last day at Bentworth Highschool.


new house number for friends: 745-3133
and I still have my cell phone: 986-1260

5 CMNT(S) | CMNT.


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 9 March :: 10.31am
:: Mood: blah

Sorry I haven't been commenting on anyones journal, I will return soon when I get a new computer because the fire trashed mine.

Awww.. I finially saw my new house with all the furniture in it.. it's really cute. I'm doing my bathroom in lime green, and my bedroom I'm not sure yet.. but the whole house is "tropical" theme, except for my bedroom/bathroom/huge closet, and my sisters bedroom. This Saturday when all my BUDS come over I hope my bestest BUD BECKY, can bring her digital camera so I can take some pictures to post them on my journal so everyone can see my house, because it's so rad.

Today is going so slow, we're only in 4th period. I'm going shopping with my Mom tonight to get some decor for my room and bathroom. Also a new crib for Gabrielle.. because her's is in the dumpster.

4 CMNT(S) | CMNT.


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 8 March :: 10.24am
:: Mood: apathetic

Yesterday I came to school and Mrs. Downing [guidance counsler] called me into her office.. I guess her and the other guidance counsler [I forget her name.] got me an exersaucer for Gabrielle. I was tearing up.. so I have to pick that up soon.

Girls- party at my new house this weekend.. you know who you are! Bring your sleeping bag/pillow because I don't really have any. I'll give you directions, don't worry!!

2 CMNT(S) | CMNT.


Impersonality

:: 2005 7 March :: 9.51pm
:: Mood: guilty
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World - Claire

the things you buy may someday leave you

One chance to show your face
This one shot--all you get.
Pass by your one good thing
Lift your hand back, shoot, and chase.
Never hear you laugh like that, so full
Not since you were nine.

Unsettled, severing
Always severing old ties
One last goodbye...
May last ther rest of your life

Learn you restricted ropes
Paint across on your left hand
One good thing's under way
And with it, your only hope
Attention focused on today
So quiet, slip behind my back

Unsettled, severing
Always severing dead ties
One last goodbye...
May last the rest of your life

One way trip can work both ways.
Loose ends kept untied make better friends.
The things you buy may someday leave you

Can you say full ride? Can you say...?
(I'll still see you...I'll still see you)
Can you say full ride? Can you say...?
(I'll still see you...I'll still see you around...around...)

Claire


CMNT.


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 7 March :: 10.11am
:: Mood: cranky

Yesterday we went down to the house to get what we could out.. we worked from 11:00 in the morning until about 7:00 at night.

All of my mom &Georges friends, and Matts friends come out.. none of our family really helped us except for my Uncle Don.

Our furniture will be in our new house today.. we're all moving in this week. New school next week.

4 CMNT(S) | CMNT.


impersonality

:: 2005 5 March :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: Dir en Grey - 304 goushitsu, hakushi no sakura

yurari to...yurari to...yurari to...yurari to...

eh. No particular reason for updating, as nothing much is new. I just feel I have to fulfill my duties to this blog, I guess. The nurse called my mom, yelling at her a few days. Something about my "horrible" eyesight. My mom said that the nurse said it's so bad I shouldn't even be able to see the board. That's odd, because I can see the board pefectly. Hmm. Maybe my bad eyesight is explaining all my headaches at the end of the day. Who knows. So I have an appointment with the optomatrist sometime. I don't particularly care whether I get glasses or not. My mom said I could get whatever type of glasses I want, as long as the insurance covers it. I'm thinking about maybe seeing if I could get colored lenses. But I'm just getting ahead of myself now.

Well, my mom doesn't have to work at nasty ole' Sheets! She got trainging for some other job doing touch-up painting on cars. She said the training alone starts at 400$ a week, and just goes up from their in the summer. My mom is worried if she can do the job or not, but she's pretty good with that stuff so I hope she can. When she starts to work she said we could set up a chores/allowance system, since she'll be working most of time. yessssah!

CMNT.


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 2 March :: 7.36pm
:: Mood: distressed

So we've been staying at the Spring Hill Suite in Washinton by Wal*Mart for about the past week..I just came out my Aunt Loraine and Uncle Dons for the next two weeks until we can move into our new townhouse in Cannonsburg.. it's like a little community of townhouses called Southpoint or something like that- it's right by a golf course. We can actually move in this weekend.. but I told my mom that I wanted to wait another week to make sure that I was caught up in everything. So I'll be going to Cannon Mac.. I don't really want to move. Okay, I really don't want to move. But what can you do if your house catches on fire? It's a really nice house. My room will be the "loft" with a huge closet that will fit Gabrielles crib/dresser in, and my own bathroom. That is definitely awesome. Not this weekend, but next weekend- party at the new house! haha, definitely.

So everyones been giving me baby clothes, I swear Gabrielle has more clothes that anyone can imagine.. she has more clothes than what she has before- but I don't really need clothes, I need toys and a highchair.. all the expensive things. My Aunt Loraines office chipped in and gave her $100 dollars to buy a playpen/highchair.. which was really sweet. Everyones buying her clothes, and giving me some really cute used ones.. they look like brand new. I went shopping, I got a few things. Nothing will ever replace some of the clothes I had. But we're slowly getting our lives back together.

Everyones asking me "Is everything okay?" Yeah, everything's fine- I lost my house, everything in it, but yeah. Great. Lol, I guess I'd do the same thing if someone elses house caught on fire.. so I really shouldn't say anything. Already there are rumors that I'm moving to California?? Okay, no, I'm not moving to Cali. Sorry.. can't get rid of me that easily! [BECKY!] haha.

Thanks to my friends who are also helping.. you know who you are- I don't have to name names. I love you girls. I couldn't do it without you.

5 CMNT(S) | CMNT.


Impersonality

:: 2005 1 March :: 8.22pm
:: Mood: aggitated?
:: Music: Dir en Grey - Embyro (Single Version)

deadly sweet mother

god that sucks.. first of all, i intended that list to be private (my my reference only, obviously) and when i try to change the settings, it's says i'm not authorized.. but only if i want to restrict the entry...stupid woohu...

and THEN i was going to copy that list, then delete the entry and make a new restricted one.. but i accidently deleted it instead, so i gotta go through and make that whole damn thing over again. fuck you all.

CMNT.


Impersonality

:: 2005 27 February :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: Triumphant
:: Music: Dir en Grey - Increase Blue

cherry strawberry very very good sa
http://www01.quizyourfriends.com/scoreboard.php?quizname=050224231545-588207&c=1&a=18

take this quiz to see if you know Brooke.

well... things rock... hard. Kisou has been ordered on saturday, will get it probably 2 tuesdays from now (as predicted from my last order) Having a job rocks... especially now, since i have no taxes or rent or anything to pay :P i really don't want to grow up. Well the week Withering to Death comes out, i will be payed again, so boys and girls, you know exactly where that's going :3

R to the Core

You're the one that's stupid
You're a pig, acting all honest but you hide your true self
Can't hear anything, Can't feel anything
This is a place of contradiction
My heart screamed out, you made fun of me like you do my deaf left ear
I know everyone isn't like that, but i can't accept everything
So i still, even now, scream out in a hoarse voice to all you rotten people...
There is an answer, so writhe in agony and let your will to live come out.
Everyone's the same once thy sin

Dir en Grey

CMNT.


dakishime

:: 2005 27 February :: 12.01pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: The video thing that Kikyou posted about MARS. [= it`s a DANDY song

I LOVE YOU. <33~
yeah . can`t upload any icons since stupid photobucket rebuilds their disks i sound so frikken smart. ahh. yeah I keep on saying yeah. well `nyways it`s sundae o_o one day before school starts agen; `nd half a year passing. D;. but i`m not gonna cry. at least not in the open like right now. maybe tonight at 11.05 D; he left so frikken early in my life. i mean he doesn`t even get to see my brother graduate from school for the first time. I mean he never got an education so he would be really happy to see us graduate. but he doesn`t cause he left. and I hate it. i realized that when I was little, I used to hang out with my aunt a lot. but when i`m not with her I`m always with my dad. and as I grew older, i never spent that much time with him. I mean people say that i`m so happy, that i act that my dad passing away doesn`t even bring a burden to my heart. but it does. I can say my dad passed away so easily but if I really think about it . I`m alone and i`m looking for him. i`m always thinking. where is my dad ? why isn`t he here? and then I remember. that he`s gone. that i`ll never hear his voice again. I mean a lot of people dad passed away. but that`s mostly because they were old or because they grew up and had their own families. but i`m still a kid. and I still need him.

none of my friends know how I feel. I never tell them. all they know is my happy side the side when i`m smiling and happy and hyper. but i`m not trying to sound like i`m a frikken emo kid or stuff like that. it`s just that. I feel that I can`t talk to anyone because noone knows how i feel. and they don`t understand. and i have to keep everything inside and it kinda hurts but i`m not going to frikken suicide for it. o_o but i`m okay now. this kinda hit me harder than i thought because I told myself that i wouldn`t cry. but i did )=


the only thing that I could say in the hospital when seeing my dad for the last time was i love you, daddy over and over again. and I truly mean it. [= with all my heart and i always will. (;

6 CMNT(S) | CMNT.


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 24 February :: 2.56pm

Well, as some of you might have heard.. yes, my house did catch on fire. Everyone got out except my dog Zeus, and my bird Corona. Please pray for them, because we loved them just as much as we loved anyone in our family.

It still hurts to bring all this up, but I wanted to write it down as soon as I could, not for anyone else, but formyself.

My mom woke me up two nights ago, she turned my lights on in my room. My first thoughts before she said anything was "Oh God, she's been drinking- I'm going to KILL her for waking Gabrielle up." It was a Monday night, so I was in bed for school. I remember this all so clearly because I felt as though our lives were ending, this all happened in a few seconds but it seemed so much longer to me. My Mom started screaming "FIRE, FIRE, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE." The only thing I could think of was to get Gabrielle out of the house. I didn't think about taking anything with me, I just automaticly got my comforter off of my bed, grabbed Gabrielle and got out of the house . My Mom got my sisters, they were right behind me. It took her a few minutes to wake Anna up, she must have been in such a deep sleep. I remember as I was running through the house that George was running for the sink to get water to try to put it out, but our water was out so that idea was shot. I found out later that he also tried to find a fire extinguisher.. but couldn't. My Mom wouldn't come out of the house, she was trying to save Corona, see heres where it gets kind of messed up. I remember running out of the house, Samantha was in front of me. I told her to take Gabrielle and to go up Aunt Loraines-- but then I changed my mind and took Gabrielle back into the house. [I know, that was stupid.] I started calling for Zeus, but he didn't come.. George started screaming at me and Mom to get out of the house because the fire was really starting to get terrible and the smoke; you could hardley breathe. So I ran up my Aunt Loraines and Uncle Dons, my sisters were already up there.. then I could hear George screaming for help because my Mom wouldn't come out of the house. She was in like total shock. My uncle Don ran down to help, while I called 911. I swear to God it took them like 20 minutes to get there while I just watched my house go up in flames. In all that time my Mom was screaming and making it worse for my little sisters, especially Anna. Gabrielle was up, but she was laying in my Aunt Loraines room. I just kept saying that everything would be okay, and the animals were doing great. But it never really sank in that the house was on fire until I saw the flames that came out of the roof. I just started crying. I cried for about 10 minutes straight. Jim showed up about 4:00 AM. [This all started at 3:00 AM] I just cried on his shoulder for a couple minutes. Our house was just going up in flames, the fire fighters couldn't even get through the front door because of all the smoke. It took them about an hour to just get the fire under control, and even when they did leave, people just kept coming and coming. We had the parametics check everyone out, everyone was okay. Then Red Cross came, and they gave us $680 for clothes, $500 for food and until Monday we have 2 rooms at the Red Roof Inn [where I'm at now.] Jim left around 7:30 AM.. I tried to sleep but in the end I just kept remembering everything and it just like haunted me. Around 8:00 my Mom and I went down to look at the house. Oh my God. You can't even image how much damage is actually done. The fire started in our back computer/office room. It was an electrical problem that started the fire. In the end we lost everything in the computer/office room, everything in our laundry room [which included almost all of my Mom, Georges, Sam and Annas clothes] our dog Zeus, our bird Corona, and everything else in the house is basicly ruined because of smoke damage.. I can't use anything of Gabrielles because the smoke/ashes are toxic to babies. All of my clothes are ruined to unless we get them dry cleaned- which isn't worth it. All my purses, coats, hats, scarves, boyyds bear collection, basicly like I said everything we can't use. We are going back to the house tomorrow to salvage what we can.. which will be very limited. But already people are giving money, clothes, food to us to help us out. We've been here for a day now.. I don't know when I'm going back to school. Hopefully never. It's to depressing.. I don't even have anything anymore. I have nothing.

I'll update when I can.. I'm on the laptop that George brought in from the Sand Bar, so I won't be online.
The number for my room: 228.5750 EXT. 227

Thank you to the fire fighters who risked their lives to save our house, the parametics who made sure we were okay, Red Cross who gave us money for clothes, food, and somewhere to stay, my Mom and Georges friends Tom &Mary Lou and Terry &Karen, Annas Girl Scout leaders Kelly &Kristy, Jim and his mom Donna and our whole family.. we couldn't do it without you.

9 CMNT(S) | CMNT.


Impersonality

:: 2005 23 February :: 8.54pm
:: Mood: off-center
:: Music: Dir en Grey- AKURO NO OKA



"Days Are Blood"

The days are blood
No beginning, no end
Bleeding like a fountain pen
The days are blood

Alarm clock rips open my eyes
I'm so tired
Staring at the black spots before my eyes
Am I alive
Mirror showing bloodshot eyes
It never lies
Another day on the 9 to 5
No whens or whys

These days of blood, eyes of fire

I gave at the office
I gave at the bank
I gave to my friends
I gave to my enemies
You tell me it's better to give than to receive
So tell me why is it you that's bleeding me

7'o'clock - got to wake up
Wake up
Look in the mirror, see my face
See the traces of yesterday
Oh, for yesterday
Oh, for tomorrow

The days are blood
Bleeding into each other
The days are blood
And I'm drowning

And as I watch the evening news
I realize
Telling me of the day's slaughter
I realize
Spilling innards on my dreams
I realize
As I bleed cold sleep sweat
I realize
The nights are blood too



"Iceman"

He's not alive, he can't dream
Stone cold monster, thinking machine
Never feels anger or pain
What's left of his heart is inside his brain

Get down on your knees
Say pretty please
Or do you want to freeze?
The iceman cometh

My pretty pretty thing
Do you do you want to freeze?

Born without a hug or an ounce of love
Doesn't know how much he can hurt someone
Do you feel the chill in his calculated prose
His words will kill if you leave yourself exposed
He is part of our generation
Let us mourn
It's too late to save this child
It started when he was born
The iceman cometh

Keep your distance, don't get too close
A beautiful girl once made that mistake
She froze


both by Descendents

CMNT.


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 22 February :: 7.00pm
:: Mood: bored

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think Im happy but Im not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You dont know what its like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when your down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no ones there to save you
No you dont know what its like
Welcome to my life


Uhhhhhh.. welcome to everybodys life.

2 CMNT(S) | CMNT.


Impersonality

:: 2005 22 February :: 6.28pm
:: Mood: Stoked
:: Music: Dir en grey - AKURO NO OKA


Dir en grey pwns j00r a$$!

CMNT.


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 21 February :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: petey pablo - raise uppppp

Well, I really just have 2 things to say in this entry.

1. I do not think it is fair to people like me, that everyone takes things out of my AIM info. I do not do it to you, so I expect the same respect.

2. It bothers me that people can't make their own layout for their journal. I guess I just like the fact that I am creative enough to think of the ones that I do. No, I'm not trying to say that I'm better than anyone- I know a lot of people who do much better layouts in their journals. But it just bothers me that some people just copy/paste pre-made layouts into their journals.

Okay, that's all. Good night.

4 CMNT(S) | CMNT.

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