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:: 2003 10 August :: 12.22 am

I really don't want your pitty, so that always and forever, didn't last as long as I thought. So my Girlfreind and my bestfriend hooked up while I was out of town. So what that I missed you so bad and then to hear that you like my bestfriend and where done with me now killed me inside. since when did my thoughts matter. like I said why should my feeliong matter. Me and Ben will still be friend and it will just go to show that he once again is better than me.

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:: 2003 8 August :: 8.38 pm
:: Music: Scared

Hello?

I have a very bad feeling about something. I am in Toledo on my way home, and we are stay over night until tommorrow then drive the rest of the way. I get home at about 2:00 and I hope to see you all. I have a really bad feeling though. This is the first time I have toughed a computer since i left two weeks ago. Jess wrote me an e-mail that said that we needed to talk when I got back and it was important. I'm really scared that this won't ve good. If somebody could please tell me what is going on. I tried callinbg Ben, Jackie, Jess, and none of them where home. If any of you could give me a heads up or something please please please tell me what's going on. I am very worried. did something happen???

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:: 2003 24 July :: 3.49 pm
:: Music: OLP- Clumsy

Meh

Why? What the Hell!?!?! I just don't know anymore. Right now I'm just really pissed off. I don't know I really don't. Just really angry at everything all of a sudden. Wow don't I fit the angry at the world sterotype?

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:: 2003 22 July :: 10.22 pm

Well me and Ben just got back, his car stopped running at like Shanner and 12 mile and we just walked all the way back to his house :) Fun stuff though.

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:: 2003 21 July :: 1.07 pm

I just want you to know who I am....

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:: 2003 17 July :: 10.40 pm

grace ( P ) Pronunciation Key (grs)
n.
Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.
A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.
A sense of fitness or propriety.

A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill.
Mercy; clemency.
A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.
A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.

grace ( P ) Pronunciation Key (grs)
n.
Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.
A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.
A sense of fitness or propriety.

A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill.
Mercy; clemency.
A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.
A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.

just a thought I geuss....

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:: 2003 14 July :: 9.04 pm

Well it's about time for a change, everyone is in some sort of slump it seems, you all should just take a deep breathe and think of it this way, life is life things happen for a reason, and we are only here for a while so make the BEST of your timie given to you because each day is a gift. but what I'm saying isn't going to do anything to change your mind. Probably just make you angry...

SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!! SMILE!!!

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:: 2003 9 July :: 3.16 pm
:: Music: blah

blah
Howdy All!!! Well i am getting so tired of being at home, I wish that people could come visit me. i don't know why but I feel really weird, a little stressed, and stuff and I'm not quite sure why, but I'm not so worry, because at the same time I find a very deep calming feeling come from somewhere inside. So i don't know why I am feeling so wierd but there you have it. I have two more classes left and then I have my permit. I really with i where going on this mission trip with my youth group. Oh well.
Rachel still has to come over and see the pups sometime soon. I woke up this morning and found that one of the pups somehow got over the wall and was laying in a wrapping of blankets. They are really getting active and for some reason they whine even when there is no reason, and it get quite annoying after a while. But oh well, since none of you are online I will go for now.

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:: 2003 3 July :: 9.57 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Every Move I make

Worn out

I am so tired right now, for the last couple days I have been up at like 5:30 to go up to the carnival in sand lake and clean up. It's a fund raiser for my youth group because they are all going on a missions trip next week friday. i wish I was going sooo bad, but there is not enough room. I really don't know why I am getting up so early to help out if it has nothing to do with me, well actually I do. i geuss between the fact that Randy helped me raise money for my trip last year, and the fact that I don't want him stuck over there with like 5 people and have it take all day.

I've been spending the night at my youth pastor's house (Randy). I also have been halping mikelle with a web page for our youth group. I have not been in bed before one in the mornig each night. I am so tired that I am shaking constately, I have head aches, and I pretty sure I passed out once or twice yesterday while I was trying to read Harry Potter. I got a nose bleed like a half hour ago, and I don't know what's up with that. I need some sleep really bad, but my dad and Grandpa are going to be over here chillin` today, so I have to entertain them. I am so worn down physically and emotionally, between what happened on tuesday night at Ben's and all the stuff since them, I have became so worn out in all aspect of the phrase that I'm numb right now. Meh so many thoughts going through my head that I don't understand, and twice as many feelings. I don't understand anymore, life used to be so easy.... To add to the whole thing me and somebody talked for a while last night and the conversation ended in tears. I wish some of my friends would just show up here to cheer me up and talk and hang out, I could really use a hug to. Well i'm feeling really dizzy right now so I'm going to go. Bye all

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:: 2003 29 June :: 12.22 am

Well since nobody else is updating lately, i thought I would. I'm at Ben's and we are about to watch scary movie, and we already watched The exorcist as Ray no doubtly knows. I stayed up till about 5:30 in the mornig finishing the Goblet of Fire, and I MISS JESS REALLY REALLY BADLY. Oh me and ben are going on a sleep fasting till our demands are met.... Well love you all.

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:: 2003 26 June :: 10.47 am


Well interesting as it is, i have been playing Vice city alot and there has been alot of cars dying. I'm actually getting better at driving! Yeah but just a breif update, Ben should be up any time now...

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:: 2003 25 June :: 3.08 pm

charlie
Magic Number17
JobSporting Great
PersonalityChancer
TemperamentWhat You Lookin' At?
SexualWhatever, Whenever, Whoever
Likely To WinA Place On The Bench (For The Reserves)
Me - In A WordEvil
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

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:: 2003 25 June :: 1.24 am

nick
Magic Number7
JobLeader of the Free World
PersonalityChancer
TemperamentA Yo-Yo
SexualJust Say No
Likely To WinA Duel With Pistols
Me - In A WordStartling
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack



"Leader of the free world" Muwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahha

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:: 2003 25 June :: 12.51 am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: Love, Liberty, Disco

New pool

Yeah me and Ben where driving down the road today when we spotted a large sign which said "Free Stuff" So of course we pulled over and took the Bath Tub laying there. After we took it back to my house and strapped it into Ben's car we went and put it in his yard where we filled it with water. Then we went and got katies really big umbrella to make shade, got the cooler and I sat out in Ben's yard relaxing in our pool.

But in other news, I am almost done with driver's Ed for a while. I drove on Monday, and that was interesting. I'm doing much better with life than before. I still am having troubles with my parents, but hey God's got to have a plan for that, right?

I have a strange feeling that something is going to happen, something really big, and I don't know if that is good or bad. Oh I think Ben got murdered after he dropped me off at my house tonight but I never know.

I miss Jess, and I miss hanging out with some of my other freinds, I've been so increadibly busy most of the time, and yeah I geuss that's how it goes.

Well it's getting late, and I havve to be going soon. I miss you all so much, somebody owes me a phone call and she knows who she is!!! It your turn to make some calls, and no I'm not talking about you Jess. Hun sorry that you have had to call me so much, i will put I hudge effort into talking to you soon. Love you all.

Nick

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:: 2003 25 June :: 12.47 am
:: Music: Irene- Toby Mac

Hey All

i haven't talked to jackie in a while but right now I'm etremely pissed at here, i didn't want her to tell me anything about the book, but all you have to do is inoceintly read a journal, and wam there it is!!!!

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