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2004 25 March :: 8.53 am
:: Mood: so sick
Life and I just dont mesh
So Im not at school right now obviously. I actually wanted to be there today but my head will not permit that. I cant move without my head shooting pains inside itself. So why the hell am I sitting here writing instead of laying down? Im pretending it doesnt hurt because Im so sick of it hurting. I guess Im just an idiot huh.
School yesturday blew. I felt like shit the whole day. I spent the last block in the nurses because I couldnt keep my head up now matter how hard I tried. My teacher was mad at me. I was supposed to stay after but there was no way that was going to happen. I got home and drained the water tank and slept for awhile.
This morning I woke up and was still shitty. So yeah.
Headaches are my biggest fault I think....they screw up everything. I lost my voice again too.
Tuesday I went to Lisas and studied with her after a major fight with my mom that I dont want to get into. I had fun on her journal. Just when you think people are growing up they prove you wrong. When does the immaturity stop. "Lisa has a big nose"....one that was stated way long ago so it isnt even funny anymore. Two...I think you should go find your own faults before you even begin ripping on other people. It just isnt right. Besides, I like Lisa's nose so fuck you. "Squeezed, in the middle. Smack dab, in the middle." Oh well...Ive gotten to the point where I dont care who Im pissing off anymore. Why should I?
So that was a ramble.
My boss called me yesturday. Im probably starting work next week or the week after. Im so excited. I'll have something to do for once. He also said I'll be getting more hours and that will rule.
I havent dried my hair since saturday. I havent washed it since monday. Yuck...Im digusting. Well my sunburn is against me drying my hair. And my headache is against me standing up long enough to wash or dry it. So there...it isnt my fault.
Okay...I cant do it anymore....
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 24 March :: 5.40 pm
Life hates me...no ifs ands or butts
Im not in the mood for an update....im sick...im tired and i dont like you
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 23 March :: 3.27 pm
:: Mood: moodless
hot wings and cheesey blue
Today was fine. It was hard to wake up and my burnt chest hurts like a mo fo. School was ok. Sub in music plus a bad opera. Who am I to critque an opera? Math was a math test...i think I passed it which would be amazing. Chem movie and library. Then studyhall.
Now Im home and about to go to Lisa's for some grand ole SAT study time. Hopefully we actually study this time.
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 22 March :: 7.05 pm
:: Mood: sad
i need an empty, quiet room right now
So Im home from Florida...my weekend get away that didnt get me away from much.
I had a lot of fun but I was pretty sad a lot of the time. The weather was beautiful. Blue, cloudless skies, in the 80's, nice breeze. You know. My uncles and aunts were awEsome. I fought with my mom all weekend...and some of the things between her and my dad hurt a lot. I cried way too much for a vacation. Quite pathetic really. I think Im okay with it though...like I know I had a reason to be hurt with it all and I think everyone understood so its okay. We are going back in October for my other cousin's wedding and I learned not to sit next to my mom on the plane. Not to sleep with anyone older than 25 because their snoring WILL keep you up all night. Not to be stuburn when it comes to sunblock and make sure to apply evenly because you WILL blister and only turn red where you missed a spot. Not to expect anyone of a different nationality to wait on you...they WILL go and help others of their kind before helping you no matter where they are in line. So on and so forth.
Well...I am sitting here half naked, dripping in aloe. (sounds sexy huh...kidding)
So I should go take care of that.
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 21 March :: 2.56 pm
:: Mood: full
updating from florida
so i just wanted to let my journal know im still alive. Im in florida and I will be home tomorrow night and I will tell you somewhat about it then.
I dont feel good so Im going
hi and
BYE
1 dead doctor |
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 17 March :: 5.42 pm
:: Mood: full
a famished day
I was hyper from cafine and medicine.
I think had a good day...I dont remember
Ahh yeah
Chap Man's after school...sitting around with Sean until 4:30.
McDonalds and BJ's with my mom.
Her bass is loud...I didnt know that until today.
Now Im here. I might go visit Lauren...
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 16 March :: 6.37 pm
:: Mood: irritable
:: Music: news
and you better not tell her that I still care
So today just started off wrong. Then it went on and was still wrong. Alright...It just sucked all the way through.
Pizza place was good...awEsome fries and garlic knots thanks to Lawson's funds.
Lauren and I both got our period today. Is that a sign or what...we are meant to be together. I think I'll put the conversation in here.
I Nephew Four: I got mine lol
parentsrnofun: hahah me too
I Nephew Four: seriously?!
parentsrnofun: im not kidding
I Nephew Four: we rule!
parentsrnofun: when i got home i found it
I Nephew Four: me too!
parentsrnofun: hahahahah
I Nephew Four: hahaha
I Nephew Four: we are meant for each other
parentsrnofun: awwww
I Nephew Four: LETS DO IT
parentsrnofun: iu knew i should have padded it up but i didnt
parentsrnofun: ok but we have to wait a week
I Nephew Four: ahahahhahahahaha
I Nephew Four: i padded it up this morning just incase
parentsrnofun: lucky
I Nephew Four: yeah ; )
parentsrnofun: eh it doesnt matter its not bad the first day
I Nephew Four: no...its the next day that kills me
parentsrnofun: yeah!
I Nephew Four: i could flood myself
parentsrnofun: its like wow
parentsrnofun: hahah i know
I Nephew Four: someone call the sheriff
I Nephew Four: or the firemen
parentsrnofun: hahahah
I Nephew Four: or some man with authority that can stop the flood
parentsrnofun: no you need like navy to come save you from the flood
I Nephew Four: hahahahahah
I Nephew Four: yeah i do
parentsrnofun: hahaha
parentsrnofun: we should bring life jackets so we dont drown
...now really...who does that?
I went to the mall with my mom and got some clothes for Florida and spring. God, I hope this "trip" proves me wrong.
3 more days until the weekend...and 2 more til Flordia...for a f-ing weekend.
Its okay...I will be getting away from everyone.
This is pointless...I really hate this thing lol
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 15 March :: 4.11 pm
:: Mood: dilusional
:: Music: Trapt- Stories
Vibrations and Doorbells
I dont really know how to explain today because it was so bad but I dealt a lot better than usual with it. Music was just annoying. I drove myself insane in math. I havent been able to concentrate in there so Im really behind. Chemistry was gross but ok. Studyhall was pretty bad. Pizza place was good but I ate way too much. I had a chance to hang out with the pope on the bus which was cool. And for the truely great news of the night...my mom is going to the movies and wont be home until later. Score.
Yeah...Im driving myself insane.
Im going to go do something that takes brainpower.
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 14 March :: 11.08 am
:: Mood: pathetic
:: Music: counting crows
So I deleted the entry that was meant for this spot in my journal because I decided it was a good idea.
Screw the backspace rule.
Yesturday was good. Hopeless Youth practice > Mario party w/ Sean > Grocery Shopping and cart riding w/ Sean > Teen Center > Applebees
By the end I broke down but Sean helped me out so it was ok. Thank you : )
Haha this is so brief compared to last nights attempt. Probably a good thing.
Well I have to go get dressed and stuff. The usual is coming over. Haha
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 13 March :: 9.01 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: quiet
Good Morning Y'all
Yesturday was good. We had a 2 hour delay and school went by fast. Even though there were some violations. The pizza place was funny. Then my mom picked Sean and I up and brought us to the bank which took almost 7 years...well not really. Theeen we played Uno (2-1) and yahtzee but not really. We went to the mall and went shopping. I didnt do too good. Oh well it was fun. We went to Ruby Tuesdays and got fooood and then saw Willy. Then we went and saw Secret Window. I really liked that movie. Sean's funny during scary movies...big baby. After the movie we talked about all the scary things in our houses and I got home and was soooo freaked out. I slept in the computer room because I didnt want to move. All in all, it was a great time.
Today looks like a day at Seans maybe? Then the teen center!!!! Yay!!! Mario Party madness let me tell you.
I learned a new way to deal with something. I just change whats in my cd player and kill every thought before its processed and it helps deal with this.
Well, I am destined to go clean my room and bathroom so I better hop to it!
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 11 March :: 7.31 pm
its already starting...i told myself it wouldnt...ahh the control I dont have.
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 11 March :: 5.08 pm
:: Mood: full
I ate too much...duh
So today was sad. Sean went home as soon as he got there. Music was ok for me not being in a good mood. Math was horrible...I was ready to cry I was so frusterated. We made icecream in chemestry. Studyhall was crappy because I had the huge window view of the blue sky...made me want to get out.
So I took the bus home and went to Seans grandmas. Came home and ate waaaay too many noodles.
Ehh I have homework to do.
annnnd thats all Im willing to talk about.
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 10 March :: 4.33 pm
:: Music: Yellowcard and Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood
Lets see...today...
Ahh yes...I'll start with the bus ride. Lauren told me that I should be expecting $200 extra on my phone bill due to my plan expiring. That woke me up. I might be in some major trouble. Oh well...Its not like I knew or got a notification. I wonder if thats illegal in some way. Anyways...So then I was sitting there and I remembered what Lisa said to me. "Watching the news puts me in my place." I was thinking about it and I realized that sitting on that bus puts me in my place. Im 16 years old and Im riding the god damn cheese box to school. Thats my place. Im still in highschool and things that bother me now shouldnt matter in 10 years. So really, Im just a drama queen. Maybe that doesnt make sense...it felt like it did.
The rest of the day was forgetable. I forgot my phone at home so I felt kind of lost. Not like it was going to be used at all but I guess that isnt the point. There is always that chance. So after school I stayed after with Mr Chapin and I did all the labs that arent due yet. Sean brought me french fries and pizza then we walked screwed up our whole walking plan. Oh well. It still worked.
Now I am home.
Last night Lisa came over and studied for SAT's with me. Well...and we burned cd's. That reminds me of two things 1. The yellowcard cd is really good. 2. I need to burn lisas cds...oh and laurens.
Blah...I need to go outside. I wish someone was home or around so they would walk with me buuuuut no one is. That leaves me with my own company and that is always a blast.
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 9 March :: 3.19 pm
:: Mood: empty
:: Music: Belvedere- Bad Day
I hate kitchens
So today blew some chunky things. Music was cool though because of the drama and then easy guitar stuff. It made me feel like I knew what I was doing haha. So then math...I didnt pay attention. Chem was blah. And studyhall I was ready to jump out of my skin...I hate when I get that feeling. Im really popular with the Staff at CNS the last couple of days. Today I was in the guidence counslors office for an hour because a "teacher called worried about you"...I guess I have been "off my game". So that was fun...it was interesting for reasons I cant tell. So then if that wasnt enough...my chem teacher was doing the same to me. Thanks for your concern...really I appriciate it but there is nothing any of you can do. : ) . So then the dean wanted to have a word with me. DT on wednesday. Not too bad...Im going to Mr. Chapins anyways. I hate being in my pissy moods.
Oh well...what can you do.
I just hung out in my kitchen for like 20 minutes looking for something to eat but nothing looks satisfying.
Hahaha this could be the most horrible thing Ive ever heard. I just clicked on a song in my file and its called Real Men Cry Rivers- "Tear to my eye" and I dont know whos trying to sing or if thats what they are trying to do but this is bad. Oh its done.
My fingers are doing that half warm half cold thing.
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUT UPPPPPPPPP
that was to myself
BYE
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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2004 8 March :: 8.06 pm
:: Mood: hurt
"Dont leave me, without saying goodbye, without saying goodbye"
Let me start with yesturday... I went to Seans and we basically played Mario Party all day. I promised myself Id beat him before I die. I will get to that. So then we ate cheeseballs and watched Pirates of the Carrabean since it is such an awEsome movie. It was fun.
Today...I had a good day. I woke up to a frappachino so I was perky or whatever. School went fine beside some minor annoyances. But then it went downhill when I walked through the door.
**Random thought**
I hate liars and I hate knowing that the majority of the people who read this have lied to me at some point. This world is so screwed. And for the people in it who are naive to do the things they do (which is all of us) go fuck yourselves. No...nevermind. There isnt a need for it because we're all doing it anyways. I guess Im a little better because I realize it. I realize when Im wrong AND I'd never do that to a friend. Not for anyone.
So what came next. The fish game...I beat it too. Then my mom got on my nerves. I did some homework. Ahh yes...then she left. Where the real shit begins.
Dreaming my reality
where truth and fiction don't seem to exist
Confusion is home here, but believe in you is what you insist
My dad was talking to me. We always get into great conversations. And he went way back with me. He told me so much. About her and how it started. "You dont love me" ... she said that after he bought her a house. The whole thing is so horrible. I am a pussy for even letting this bother me. Its something I dont ever get used to. Im sorry for him...he did everything to make her happy and she wouldnt have it. Im sorry for her...she believes everything she says is true. Im sorry that Im not blind enough to ignore it and I really never was.
Shit...I got myself crying...you're all clueless. Thats ok.
So then Lauren called. And Lauren...Im sorry. You are any parents dream child and the way you are treated is just plain shitty. I love you.
And thats how my night got turned to shit. I dont remember what I wrote.
When does life give up on being overwhelming? I hope its soon. Im going to have an ulcer or something...at least that would prove something.
Yeah...I dont know what I wrote but Im not going to proofread...I'll be daring
BYE
3 dead doctors |
A comment a day keeps the doctor away |
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