I fell and bumped my head, now Im seeing double
I hate the school year because I cant sleep in for shit. It takes me awhile to get into a pattern with it I guess. Well, I woke up starving and in a bad mood. But its ok....IT IS OK :) .

I dont know what that was all about.

I dont know the plans for the day. Maybe Seans house? Or shopping later on with my mom? I dont really know. Im sure I'll find out in due time.

Did I mention I woke up starving? I think Im going to go take care of that then take an extremley long shower.

BYE

buuurp
So the day started off horrible. It really was. I dont want to go there.

Sean came to Berkley & Jensen's with my mom and I. Then we ate pizza. Then we went to Applebees for some crazy desert. I was kind enough to make some birds a nest at the park. Im sure they'll appreciate it. Uhhh...spongebob which was a horrible episode. Alice in Wonderland. Then bye bye Sean.

Im really not in a state of mind to writing in here so Im going to go blow my hair dry and then go to bed. Yep.

BYE

Im not worth it...but I already told you that
Well, I fear that that is that. I wont believe it nor will I agree to it so dont ask me to.

So today was pretty crappy...but it was quiet and I could only imagine how school would have been. I mean, I haven't had a normal day this week so Im not starting with today. Days will get normal again...they have to.

I forgot how much I liked this song. Its a good one.

Anyways...Im going to Berkley & Jensen's with my mom and Sean. We are going to get food and such and then come back to my house.

I have like 45 minutes to lay down so Im going to take advantage of it.

BYE

Good Morning and that shit
Well...I woke up and told my mom that I wasnt going to school today. I have high 80's/90's in the classes Im missing so I really dont consider it a big deal. The deal was that I clean my room. Not too bad I guess.

So I woke up wicked early and right when I fell back to sleep my cellphone started ringing and it was Lauren. So I pretty much gave up on sleeping this morning.

I feel like one of the worst people in the world right now. Im right next to Hilter. Well, Im not that bad and none of this was done on purpose but there is no way out of this one. I've hurt two people I really care about and when it comes down to it I'll only be talking to one of them. I got myself into this too...it's not like I stopped it or helped at all so I have no one to blame but myself. I learned a crazy lesson. I think I found the biggest gliche in life too. The one that was totally looked over when people were created. I dont want to share it because people do read this. Either way...I feel like shit and I cant believe I ever said anything to anyone about it. I shouldnt have...it was wrong to even talk about. I should just keep my mouth shut when it comes down to it...because its not like it got me into any stellar position that is making anything better for anyone. Wow I am rambling but I dont want to stop yet. Its not like I pretend that everything is fine...because it isnt and I dont expect you to pretend either. And its never ending....never fucking ending...ever.

Whatever...thats enough of that. I cant believe Im going to post this.

My cat is being cute.

----------------------phone---------------------------

annnd we're back...it's now 10:12 incase you are wondering. I have a song stuck in my head and I dont know who sings it or what the words are besides "We're at the top of the world, you and i...." and thats all I remember. Any ideas?

My neighbors are banging on their house to make it look better and it's annoying the hell out of me....volume up.

I need some mac and cheese.

I get to go to BJ's tonight with meine mutti. Then Seanburt is coming over. I really dont know where that came from.

BYE

"...We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore..."
Thats been stuck in my head all day...very catchy I must say.

So today started off miserable. Snoo juice...no one who knows what that means reads this...that saddens me. Then uhh...guitars. The music teacher knew I was in a bad mood and left me alone for a change. Math...i dont remember. Chem...I got off the hook for monday because my teacher seems to care. Then studyhall I slept. Then I stayed after for chem and pizza with Sean. The day was pretty shitty but it did look up some. I already have my weekend planned out.

Oh and it just was brought back down. I fucking hate her....GRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

whatever...I tried


BYE

1000mg
Woke up...chased the office...puked...slept...stared...stared some more....went to lisas...uncle chubby's...wet shoes...tied knots...cd...SAT practice...so on so forth...laurens...talking....cellar...walk...home.

Here I am...

"It's quite possible, I feel truely dead inside"

my head hurts

uuuuuuuuggggggggggg...there's no release

BYE

1/2 Day
Last night was the show.

Today I found myself not being able to concentrate on anything what so ever. Math...that was bad. Music...I got in a fight with the teacher. So Lisa and I left. We went to Sabintinos and just talked. Then I noticed Luke walking by and we got him to come in. Then Richard came. Then we went back to Brookyln Pizzaria. Then Lauren and I went for a walk. I dont know what Id do without you sometimes, Lauren.

I dont know what else I want to talk about.

Wow...Im hallusinating. I just heard my doorbell 3 times. No one is at the door though.

Yeah...Im going back my room.

and yeah i do

BYE

Smoothies...insane little buggers
Did I update last night? Just incase I didnt...it sucked some butt. My parents went out and left me home alone. That was good but I was alone and that wasnt cool. I went to bed before my parents got home 1. because I couldnt think of a reason why I was up and 2. so they wouldnt talk to me when they got home.

I woke up with a headache and squaking birds. I talked to Jenn. Parents left again. Then I went to Seans. We listened to his little brother's entertainment for most of the time. I got beat up. HEY! Maybe thats why my back hurts you dink. Then we went to Dourghety's Mascarade spelled horribley wrong for the Tin Man. We might dress up for St P-Day. Then we went to my house. Ate some...pasta stuff. We watched What Dreams May Come since Im obsessed with it. We tried making a smoothie. It was some good laughs. We watched another movie with a name I cant remember. Sean made fun of me. Then my mom drove him home.

Annnnd here I am. Im doing pretty good right now. Besides my back...

Jenn might come over tomorrow. Then we are going to the show at Wescott. That'll be interesting to say the least. I get to bring flowers.

BYE

Thank you for ending this awful week
So thats right....this week sucked major nuts...buffalo ones.

Today wasnt good...I think I almost cried acouple times because Im a loser. Thats fine ... whatever. History...bad. Gym... Bad minus the "Edward Paddlehands and the revenge of Douple Pong Chop"...Tasha...we rule. Psych...bad...then Tasha and I were going to leave but nooo we have to wait till Tuesday. English...wow bad plus Hamlet almost made me cry.

So last minute I stayed after. And that was fun. I fell on my ass at the pizza place which was pretty funny.

Then Lisa seemed to ditch me. An hour my ass...try like 4. Well...my parents just left. Yeah, they are going on to eat with some friends. I should be happy right? You know, them acting like a married couple? They are working their way up there huh...maybe in the next 10 years they will learn how to not fake it...or how to divorce. Wow...why am I writing this. I wish someone was here. Oh Shut up Karlene you fucking idiot.

Yeah...Im going to go....eat and play music loud enough to drown me out.

BYE

Up and down up and down
Nooo...not like that sicko.

Today I went to school and had a huge coolata waiting for me and a Sean. That was cool. Then we played with guitars in music...relaxing. We had a Lockheed Martin* presentation during math and that was kind of fun plus I got a pen. Chem was tie dying which I have all over me. Then studyhall. So there wasnt much work to the day. I was in a good mood until after lunch. Nope, I dont blame you. Im unpredictable like that and Ive been a bitch the last week. Whats my issue? I dont know. Its not even my period...I dont even have it. Haha. So. Now I am home and I just finished a box of mac and cheese. Im a fat ass. One mirror in my house tells me differently. Yay....I should walk with it infront of me all day. Ug...I have so much tension in me right now. I wish screaming or something would help. Oh well...stfub.

I finished that book. I didnt like it that much but the end was "brutal" just as the cover said. Now I can go get extra credit in english. TWICE haha

And in chem

Tomorrow is friday... Lisa and I might do something....we arent sure what but it might include walking across a melting lake. That could be fun:)

BYE

spring-like smell
So right now I have "Oh Happy Day" stuck in my head but I switched the lyrics when I wasnt paying attention to myself to "O Crappy Day" so I keep singing my altered version.

Today was okay. The sun was out and it smelled like spring so that kept my mood bright. Im such a good weather person. It really makes a difference on my attitude I think. History was fun today. Studyhall was reading time. Child Psych was boring again. English took too long. Then I had to go back to history so she could proofread my dbq...so now I have to add more outside info. She didnt touch the intro lol. Then pizza place. Then the need for a mute button. Annd then the venture home. Anger managment! Yeah! Haha...anything for you, Sean. So now Im home...I just stopped reading because my mom left and this is my chance for the computer. My dad wants me to go with him to my cousins b-ball game BUT Im not a fan of b-ball and Im not a fan of the local b-ball fans (aka students of ns district) and I rather be doing something else like reading. Hey, that almost makes me sound like a nerd. Yeah, I just ruined it huh. Oh well. So hopefully I get out of that without hurting his feelings. Then I would have a silent house. I love my house when its empty. Then again, it normally feels empty but with a little more racket. Yeah, that makes sense to me. Is it too cold for a walk? I could use one.

Sorry Lawson that I am broke. I owe you once again.

BYE