One for Sorrow

:: 2009 30 May :: 1.43pm

SoundBite, Toshiba M305 notebook

:: 2009 30 May :: 2.05am

:: 2009 29 May :: 11.27pm

Rock Gym was pretty excellent.

:: 2009 29 May :: 2.45am

Updating from my new lappy, Codename: SoundBite

:: 2009 28 May :: 11.17pm

oh to the em gee
This work week has been hilarious.

More details tomorrow. I should be in bed.

2 TOOTHMARKS | BITE ME

:: 2009 19 May :: 2.52am

Watching my elders get buried is one thing, but your peers, your friends that is just well disheartening.

Tomorrow is not a good day.

We will miss you Eric.

3 TOOTHMARKS | BITE ME

a-demons-angel

:: 2009 18 May :: 9.36pm

I've been listening to Ashanty a lot lately
Her lyrics fit the description of my life and capture the emotions fairly well...

Rescue

All alone and I'm feeling wanted
Try to wait but my body's calling, you're the one so why don't
You come and rescue me,
I'll be here while you on your way, counting down till I see your face,
Hurry up cause I love the way you rescue me.
Now your're here, come on out, the rain soaking wet
Body glistening, finally we could do something so rescue me,
Can't believe how it's going down,
I'm so obsessed with this love I found it got my head spinning
Round and round just rescue me.

All night long Take me away to another place,
Rescue me save me, save me save me all night long
Take me away to another place rescue me
Save me, save me, save me

I come alive when I feel your touch
And I can drown In this pool of love, you could get what I'm thinking of
Come rescue me, what you think couldn't be replaced
If you were gone I would find a way to get you back,
Cause I love the way you rescue me, laying here with you in the dark
I always knew you could shift my heart,
When I'm with you I don't want to stop so rescue me,
Only you can fulfill my need take me away from this agony,
I want to live out my fantasy just rescue me.

Rain On Me

I'm lookin' in the mirror
At this woman down and out
She's internally dyin'
I know this was not what love's about

I don't wanna be this woman
The second time around
'Cause I'm wakin' up screamin', no longer believin'
That I'm gonna be alright

And over and over I tried
Yet over and over you lied
over and over I cried, yeah
I don't know why

And over and over I tried
Yet over and over you lied
over and over I cried, yeah
I don't know why

Rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe
Baby, just rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe, tell ya just

See, I don't want to hug my pillow late at night no more
I'm tossin' and turnin' and thinkin' 'bout burnin' down these walls
I-I don't wanna fuel this fire no more, no more, no more
See, I made up my mind 'cause I've wasted my time
Ain't nothin' here to keep me warm

I'm so tired of the rain
In my life
And I'm so tired of the strain
And now you're gonna lie

'Cause sometimes I can't sleep at night and
This here it just don't seem right and
Sometimes I just wonder why I
Almost let my life go by

'Cause sometimes I can't sleep at night and
This here it just don't seem right and
Sometimes I just wonder why I
Almost let my life go by

Over

Can't believe that it's over baby
But every bruise on my heart you gave me
See we tried but we fight then we cried now it's over babe it's over babe.

When I met you I knew you would be the one,
for me cause looking at you made me feel kind of
crazy, now what you asked I almost did it automatically
but it was nothing compared to the joy you gave me.
Although I know that what we had it wasn't perfect babe,
you fooled around, but see back then it didn't phase me
I thought by staying, trying to change you would be worth it babe,
but now I see that trying to change you only changed me.
All these tears,and all of your lies
all these years and now we're saying goodbye, it's over babe.

Now I'm thinking that I never should have dealt with you,
all this screaming and this yelling
that we go through raining late at night I'm sitting waiting up for you
just to tell you how I hate who you turned into,
see ain't no way I'm gonna sit and take this shit from you,
I'll never play another day of being your fool,
I wasted all my time on something that just wasn't true,
I should have known I could never ever change you.
All these tears, and all of your lies,
all these years and now we're saying goodbye it's over babe.

I'll never forget what you did to me so I'm gone I'm leaving leaving baby,
I'll never forget
what you did to me so I'm gone I'm leaving leaving baby.
Whenever you see me don't even speak,
I'll never forget what you did to me.
Whenever you see me don't even speak, I'll never forget what you did to me.

I'll never forget what you did to me so I'm gone I'm leaving, leaving baby.
I'll never forget
what you did to me so I'm gone I'm leaving, leaving baby.

<3

:: 2009 16 May :: 7.35pm

Okay.

First week of NewJob went okay. It actually was a whole lot better by week's end. I am going to have to get over this not liking to speak French thing since that's my job now. Sigh etc.

I have a stupid NewJob story that happened on Wednesday and I wrote on Wednesday:

Today [Wednesday], we had a trainer come in and teach us Google Earth [which I TOTALLY already know and used when it first came out]. Before we started, he went around the room and asked our names and for us to say something in our language. He was French African.

Please tell me you are feeling the same thing I was: DREAD. PANIC. DREAD.

So we go around the room and everyone is saying five bajillion sentences and the other two French people have great accents and each have two paragraphs prepared already.

So he gets to me and all I can think to say is "ta mère est un pamplemousse." I can't call his mother a grapefruit! Who knows what connotation that has! I am probably calling her a whore or something.

What do I do? What do I do? OH! MAKE A JOKE! People love jokes! They will be so busy laughing that they won't notice that you say "Bone-jewurrr y'all"! Make a joke, Rachel.

Do I say my name in French or English? What did the Hope girl say? KAH-Rhen? Okay, so French.

"Je m'appelle Rachelle et je ne parle pas français."

Everyone is staring at me. Why are they staring? Did I miss an article? "Parlez-vous anglais?" No. No article needed. I said the "ne" but they can forgive that, I was nervous, I had to prepare a simple sentence. THIS IS A JOKE. I just said "I don't speak French" in French! Ha ha. Laugh already. No one is laughing. Okay.

"Ceci n'est pas une pipe...?"

Did they get it? Okay. He got it. And I got a little laugh. Ugh. Do these people have no sense of humor? Hope girl is staring at me. I'm not even looking at British guy. Heaven forbid he judge me. He's British. We left them for a reason. And Hope girl liked France. Screw them.

Reasoning doesn't stop the embarrassment. I can feel myself turning red. I am warm, it's warm in here. Ugh. I am a retard. Why did I think this job would be okay? I can no longer get away with the fact that I don't speak French.

I told them up front. I told them it was terrible! It's not my fault!

During break, I am furiously checking the internet as I have chosen sleep over Google Reader for the past week and have 97 unread items. I AM STARING AT THE SCREEN AND NOT WELCOMING CONTACT.

Hope girl turns around. TURN BACK AROUND, GIRL. DO NOT WANT YOUR HUMORLESS FACE LOOKING AT ME. AM ON THE INTERNETS.

"Bonjour, Rachelle."

Cut her off, cut her off! There's no way I'm speaking French to her and letting her judge me. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. I hate France! I hate French! I just told you I don't speak French.

"Oh, no. I cannot think to speak French today." Still staring at my 97 Google Reader items. Must label all interesting things.

"Oh. I was just... I was wondering why you said you didn't speak French."

I looked over at her. Oh, God. She is looking at me with pity and concern. Cut it off quick! No friends! No pity! No French!

"It was A JOKE."

"Oh." She turns back around quickly. The conversation is over.

Was I just a bitch to her? I think I was just a bitch. Whatever. She's not talking to me.

Ugh. Why don't these people get jokes?

At least they are all nice.

3 TOOTHMARKS | BITE ME

:: 2009 16 May :: 3.11am

Also, I now demand to be referred to as M.C. Creeper

that is all

4 TOOTHMARKS | BITE ME

:: 2009 16 May :: 3.03am

I am so about Commander Spock

Doc McCoy was also kick ass.

:: 2009 13 May :: 9.35pm

I don't like being a grownup. It is not fun. Ugh.

:: 2009 13 May :: 6.41pm

Real Fark Headline

"Man hits pedestrian at Home Depot and runs down a state trooper before leaving the lot. Hits a van, backs up and hits it again. Drives off screaming "WOO HOO" as he strikes several vehicles before crashing head-on with a semi. TA-DA"

Full Story

1 TOOTHMARK | BITE ME

:: 2009 13 May :: 2.55am

Everything burns, especially the world.

:: 2009 12 May :: 6.14pm

Nostalgic of the GRCC days

aerii

:: 2009 10 May :: 10.07pm

"Be careful if you choose not to share your annoyance with someone today, because a minor irritation could fester and turn into a more serious problem. But you must be equally cautious if you decide to talk about your current frustration. You could inadvertently make the matter worse if you place blame on a friend or partner. You can minimize your discomfort by expressing your feelings without making any unfair judgments."

So I should just let it be?

Gah. Life is so stupid.
I just want to sleep.

gideon

:: 2009 9 May :: 4.28pm

Anyone else having trouble having it show you as being logged in?

:: 2009 7 May :: 11.49pm

I am done with college, kids.

On Saturday, I will graduate as a BA with a BA!

Drinks, guys? Friday or Saturday night would be best. Let me know. Let's party like it's 2009!

6 TOOTHMARKS | BITE ME

:: 2009 7 May :: 3.14am

I woke the same as every other day except a voice was in my head.
It said seize the day, pull the trigger, drop the blade, and watch the rolling heads.