joslyn_julia
|
::
2009 10 December :: 1.12am
:: Music: Ida Maria- Nothing Sweet about Me
Ft. McCoy today... well yesterday.
I hate leaving him up there, i wanted to stuff him in the trunk and run away. I know i was the one to push for him to stay, and be paid for having his knee stuff done, but now i am fearful that I won't have him for christmas, and it will just be another empty holiday, on my own.
I miss him, i love him, and i feel empty without him.
I just want him home now. In my bed... *sigh* Hopefully in time for christmas... hopefully he will get surgery before then if he needs it and he will be home. hopefully i get through finals without doing anything stupid, or reckless, or whatever. I just need some comfort... and possibly some eternal sunshine.
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2009 8 December :: 11.42am
I wanted snow, and now it is in the way of going to visit mike. the irony these days just gets stronger and stronger.
Day trip to Navy pier after i get out of math... well, actually leave math early to catch the train ect, ect. but i will be doing a wonderful photo project on the smith collection of stained glass, and see how well we can rush about chicago, so then i won't have to worry about getting back to kenosha at like midnight. sigh....
somedays it's just fuck it all, and i want to run run run.
and i should re-do my layout on here... the damn snow patrol bit is just so old now.
1 burn |
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2009 7 December :: 4.50am
a whole lotta messed up
so, i saw my man today... drove across the state when i should have been doing an essay that is due in 3 hours. It was good, at first. Then less so, and now worse. I am married and i still feel like a rag doll, that just makes me feel all sorts of fucked up. I try to be happy, and yet i still feel down... I wish i could explain it all to mike, but at this point i am not convinced it will ever matter.
just throw on a mental bandage once again, and hope that i forget... although that hasn't been working so well as of late... seeing as past bandaids are falling off and i can't help but be overwhelmed by the past. ugh.
2 burns |
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2009 30 November :: 10.28pm
It is always nice to have one place that is pretty well private. I feel awful that I try to hangout with my friends and just leave because i feel like a wallflower. It makes me want to relive novels, and suck into my own world. But, I have 2 weeks until school finishes up for the semester. Mike will be coming home, and its about time because i need some sweet lovin. Time waits for no one and i have to keep pushing through the next few weeks until the break comes. Not that i want to go back to CS for anything, but at least it will be plenty of time with Mike. *sigh*
Ready to sleep, and have dreams of a day approaching quickly. I need to expand my music library, and my book collection. I have years and years, but I would like so much to know it all now. Oh well, back to reality.
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2009 15 November :: 2.36am
come home to me is all i request...
Do you want to play with fire?
|
jus4fun06
|
::
2009 2 April :: 11.23am
I am trying.
I am failing.
I cant seem to be in control of all the things I want to be in control of.
It is so frustrating. I am trying to go to the gym and eat healthy, but my thighs are still massive.
Constantly, my bf is fighting me on the stupidest things.
I feel like such a failure.
My staff hates me and never helps me out.
At least my hall loves me. It's really nice that they actually like me.
We had an awesome program last night and I think they really enjoyed it.
There's hope.
I need this summer. This summer to be away. This summer to work.
This summer to earn money. I hate this economy. I hate paying for college. I have having to deal with money. Just give me all my AG and I'll be happy.
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
jus4fun06
|
::
2008 30 December :: 10.45am
my other journal is corrupt.
i wish i werent retarded
i am not looking forward to my hall
i always fuck it up.
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
jus4fun06
|
::
2008 25 August :: 3.10am
Is it just a dream?
Will I wake up?
or will this sink in
and be reality?
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2008 2 August :: 7.12pm
so
here is me:
I currently live with my fiance in my parents house.
I am looking for a house so i don't feel like i am in a very awkward reflection of my life in High School
I have made new friends, i have lost some old ones and i am happy with how that has worked out.
yes, i gained weight, but i am also working out again and not depressed and thus i am not only loosing weight but also fighting demons so to speak...
Mike (my fiance) is leaving for Iraq next april, and i am working full time at my dad's store doing design and running most office operations. I dropped out of school because chicago is full of greedy lying bastards and scary places. But, it is a nice place to visit, and in my opinion not the best place to live (i fully admit that this statement is debatable, but i had bad experience where as you may have had good ones.)
No i am not pregnant nor have i had a kid, seeing as i have heard rumors. Other than that, i work and pay bills so i can hopefully in the near future go back to school, or at the very least buy my design programs.
toodles
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2008 1 August :: 10.48pm
so uh yeah
hey wassup
how are all you peeps that i see and never have time to talk with?
1 burn |
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
jus4fun06
|
::
2008 8 February :: 5.15pm
i think
something is different
when did it happen?
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
jus4fun06
|
::
2008 4 February :: 6.15pm
I miss being able
to express myself
life is taking me away
I cant be in control
Ive lost control
I need to be in control
I have failed
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2008 6 January :: 1.16pm
rawr!
in detroit for the day hangingg out with family.
mike is makeing me irritated.
grrr
my computer, stay back fool!
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2007 18 December :: 3.51pm
i am moving back to cedar. there is nothing in this godforsaken armpit of america.
move home at the end of the month. much work and debt repayment will follow.
then 21. then enjoying my life and planning my wedding.
oi, there is way to much to do before october.
4 burns |
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|
joslyn_julia
|
::
2007 10 November :: 10.23am
well, back to burger king it is.
with the applications i put in, burger king called and hired me
i start on monday.
It feels degrading going back there, but money is money.
otherwise i have been sick since wednesday, i feel like shit.
2 burns |
Do you want to play with fire?
|
|