::
2003 2 November :: 11.22 pm
anyone willing to dye my hair? its time to be a redhead again. i can feel it.
6 feet on the ground. |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 2 November :: 11.15 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
i didnt go. but i'm not sure if it was chickening out or just being lazy.
i spent the daytime working my ass off, and the evening being madly in love. a full time job, let me tell you. not to say i wasn't enjoying myself. i did, muchly.
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 30 October :: 10.44 pm
:: Mood: listless
:: Music: Eels- Mr. E's Beautiful Blues
The elephant won't forget what its like inside his cage...
i feel inspired to write something a bit longer tonite, than my normal single-sentence quips. I read other people's journals and it makes me wonder if my babblings might actually make sense to those who read them. if anyone reads them...
I saw a play tonite...really it was no good but it made me think. it was a religious play, but thats not the part that got me thinking...
there was this girl who was in a class of mine last semester, and she was in it. i didnt think she really did all that great of a job, actually she didnt seem to fit her role one bit.... but even so, and considering the play as a whole was awful, i was sitting there thinking "god, i wish i were her right now". i wish my parents hadn't told me that being a theater major was ridiculous. everyone in their right mind knows that i'm miserable in the business college, and that's why i'm working my ass off for a second major that holds some merit for me. but i really couldnt see myself happy. not like this.
great sex isn't really a theater production. yes, i enjoy doing it. yes i am glad i decided to be in it. but its like having just a taste of what theater used to be for me, and knowing i'll never get the full flavor of it again.
facing last night took a lot of strength that i didnt know i had. i guess that's what friends do for you, right? its been a long, long time.
and i'm tearing my hair out again, thats depressing. maybe i should go see a doctor...someday.....
I had something in me...i can't get it back, or get rid of it either...
to end this post with something really deep...
I could really go for some pizza right now.
1 feet on the ground |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 29 October :: 12.18 pm
I feel rather boring and uninteresting as of late.
5 feet on the ground. |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 24 October :: 2.26 pm
| fav. feel good song: | Ben Kweller- Sha Sha | | fav. upbeat song: | Dressy Bessy- BlinkTwice | | fav. cruising song: | The Ataris- Boys of Summer | | fav. love song: | Ben Folds- The Luckiest | | fav. guilty pleasure song: | DMX- X Gonna Give It To Ya | | fav. tribute song: | ??? | | fav. song to fall asleep to: | Andrew Bird- Weather Systems | | fav. song from a musical: | Cell Block Tango- Chicago | | fav. song from a movie: | Nine Days- I Love You | | fav. disney song: | Little Mermaid- Kiss the Girl | | fav. song to dance to: | R. Kelly- Ignition | | fav. song lyric-wise: | Iron and Wine- The Night Decending |
music survey brought to you by BZOINK!
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 23 October :: 11.48 am
yay! kicked some serious ass on my marketing exam!
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 22 October :: 2.21 pm
i am skipping class right now, because I decided that I dont like it.
I hope I can still pass this semester with my lack of motivation.
1 feet on the ground |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 21 October :: 12.12 am
| ::15 Random Favorites:: | | 1: | the color purple | | 2: | my blanket | | 3: | jason :) | | 4: | diet coke | | 5: | good hand lotion | | 6: | ben kweller | | 7: | kitties | | 8: | theater | | 9: | my car | | 10: | roller skating | | 11: | charlies angels | | 12: | WIDR | | 13: | my brown boots | | 14: | chapstick | | 15: | my apartment | | ::14 Favorite Foods:: | | 1: | pizza | | 2: | french fries | | 3: | doughnuts | | 4: | chicken and dumplings | | 5: | pasta | | 6: | peanut butter | | 7: | granola bars | | 8: | grilled cheese sandwiches | | 9: | belgian waffles | | 10: | diet coke | | 11: | mac and cheese | | 12: | french toast | | 13: | chicken alfredo | | 14: | beef stroganoff | | ::13 Most Watched Shows:: | | 1: | this | | 2: | is | | 3: | really | | 4: | a | | 5: | ridiculous | | 6: | question; | | 7: | i | | 8: | don't | | 9: | have | | 10: | television | | 11: | in | | 12: | my | | 13: | apartment | | ::12 Good Bands in your Opinion:: | | 1: | ben kweller | | 2: | green day | | 3: | modest mouse | | 4: | the cranberries | | 5: | the eels | | 6: | iron and wine | | 7: | grandaddy | | 8: | everclear | | 9: | deftones | | 10: | a perfect circle | | 11: | ben folds (five) | | 12: | barenaked ladies | | ::11 Memories:: | | 1: | the beach | | 2: | the beach part II | | 3: | halloween as a kitty | | 4: | not one but two cop cars | | 5: | charlies angels at rosies | | 6: | celebration on the grand | | 7: | modest mouse | | 8: | "can you see my butt?" | | 9: | my "run-in" with the cargo van | | 10: | the noctunal hamster | | 11: | lord of the rings II | | ::10 Close Friends:: | | 1: | jason | | 2: | eliz | | 3: | the whole great sex cast | | 4: | mike | | 5: | first fox gang | | 6: | kal | | 7: | katti | | 8: | kristin | | 9: | nick | | 10: | mommy | | ::09 Things you're looking forward to:: | | 1: | sleep | | 2: | the play being over | | 3: | the semester being over | | 4: | going to belgium | | 5: | graduating | | 6: | getting a masters? | | 7: | getting married | | 8: | having children | | 9: | enjoying life | | ::08 Things you wear daily:: | | 1: | underwear...well...usually... | | 2: | nail polish | | 3: | contact lenses | | 4: | hairties | | 5: | 3 earrings | | 6: | shoes of some variety | | 7: | chapstick | | 8: | clothing of some variety...well...usually... | | ::07 Things That Annoy You:: | | 1: | mcguiver | | 2: | my hair | | 3: | the play | | 4: | frat boys | | 5: | dishes in the sink | | 6: | homework | | 7: | telemarketers | | ::06 Things You Touch Everyday:: | | 1: | myself...hehehe | | 2: | water..in the shower | | 3: | my keys | | 4: | my phone | | 5: | the newspaper | | 6: | mcguiver | | ::05 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over:: | | 1: | chicago | | 2: | the new guy | | 3: | grease | | 4: | west side story | | 5: | ferris bueller | | ::04 Of Your Favorite Childhood Toys:: | | 1: | nintendo | | 2: | my vetrinarian set | | 3: | pound puppy | | 4: | roller skates | | ::03 People You Have Kissed:: | | 1: | lets | | 2: | not | | 3: | start | | ::02 Of Your Favorite Songs:: | | 1: | "The Night Decending" by Iron & Wine | | 2: | "All-Nite Diner" by Modest Mouse | | ::01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With:: | | 1: | ... |
Countdown brought to you by BZOINK!
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 17 October :: 12.09 pm
i dont know what it is, but i feel very lost.
and anxious.
like something big is about to happen that will make everything finally make sense.
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 16 October :: 11.12 pm
tumultuous...yes, that is a very good word.
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 16 October :: 4.05 pm
missing something.
my apartment is really trashed.
i dont have a spare moment these days.
something caught my eye and mind today that tossed me back into remembering a time when I was happy with how things ARE and not how they could be.
i need to stop thinking about the future, things never go as planned.
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 15 October :: 9.27 am
GREAT SEXPECTATIONS
Tonite in Eldridge/Fox @ 7pm
and Harrison/Stinson @ 9pm
Please come and watch us, it should be a good show.
3 feet on the ground. |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 9 October :: 10.38 pm
i have so little faith in my emotions
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 5 October :: 7.34 pm
My inner child is six years old!
Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 30 September :: 12.19 pm
I knew that I needed a change.
But that wasn't what I was thinking.
Maybe you've shown me what's necessary for my better good.
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 24 September :: 2.09 pm
The paomnnehil pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at
the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
4 feet on the ground. |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 24 September :: 12.12 pm
had some extra time before class. found ellsworth hall, walked up to the second floor, and marched thru the doors of the study abroad office. i told them my plan, skipped the bullshit steps, and i've got an application to study abroad at K.U. Leuven in Belgium.
i've so sick of backing out of everything and never following through. i'm really going to do this. wish me luck.
3 feet on the ground. |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 17 September :: 10.57 pm
do i have anyone left to depend on?
anyone to turn to when I have a bad day?
I'm starting to think its all a lost cause.
I can't speak up anymore.
2 feet on the ground. |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 17 September :: 9.01 pm
JediBumblebee: are you 18 yet?
exitboot: Nope.
exitboot: Why?
JediBumblebee: curious.
JediBumblebee: soon, isnt it?
exitboot: Mad sex?
JediBumblebee: totally
exitboot: Haha. You and me?
exitboot: Anyway, Oct 5.
JediBumblebee: you know it.
exitboot: We might as well give it a go.
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 7 September :: 9.31 pm
:: Music: Bright Eyes- Bowl of Oranges
That's why I'm singing baby don't worry
'Cause now I got your back
And every time you feel like crying
I'm gonna try and make you laugh
And if I can't
If it just hurts too bad
Then we'll wait for it to pass
And I will keep you company for those days so long and black
And we'll keep working on the problem
We know we'll never solve
Of love's uneven remainders
Our lives are fractions of a whole
But if the world could remain within a frame
Like a painting on a wall
Then I think we'd see the beauty then
We'd stand staring in awe
At our still lives posed
Like a bowl of oranges
Like a story told
By the fault-lines and the soil
1 feet on the ground |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 4 September :: 11.29 pm
You represent... desire.
You sure are motivated. You have a definite knack
for getting what you want. You always put your
own interests before those of others, and you
almost always find youself being satisfied.
Though you have determination, try some
compassion. Putting others first occassionally
can get you even more satisfying relationships.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 4 September :: 3.54 pm
i am still so lonely.
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 26 August :: 12.21 am
I just cant ever be fucking happy.
this always hurts but i cant stand being this lonely. i think i'll just kill myself.
2 feet on the ground. |
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
::
2003 19 August :: 9.25 pm
yay! new apartment, functional internet!
Go ahead, you can laugh all you want. |
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