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m&ms487
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2007 24 October :: 9.19am
I know what they're doing is wrong, but that doesn't keep me from being scared shitless.
I guess we'll wait for Legal Aid to call us back so we can set up an appointment with the lawyer.
So this is what it's like to be an adult...
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2007 19 October :: 8.50pm
The Jessa and Andy Show?
You changed the saying.
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2007 18 October :: 12.37pm
My professor for my Latin American Literature class took us to Java City, the on campus coffee house, for class.
...and it was awesome.
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2007 17 October :: 9.49pm
Midterms. So tired...
My brother got married and it was good. I have pictures on facebook for viewing pleasure.
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2007 15 October :: 7.28pm
Woohu.
IS.
BACK...
I thought I was going to die.
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2007 12 October :: 11.38am
It's a slow day on my friends page....I'm a bit disappointed, guys. I don't get to watch soaps because I'm in class.....I need entertainment somehow!!!
Anyway.
I'm heading home in about an hour for Charlie's wedding. It's going to be grand. I just cleaned the apartment and my room, and I just have to wash the rest of the dirty dishes and clean Patrick's bowl.
I don't know. It's just been so busy, and there is stuff in my head, but I haven't had time to think about it....
[edit] I have a craving for sushi. Yes.
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2007 10 October :: 6.00am
I have a class soon, and a book I need to read to write a paper that was due yesterday.
Last night, when I was walking back from university band, I stepped on a leaf and it crunched, and I very much enjoyed it.
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m&ms487
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2007 9 October :: 1.08pm
Today is nice and calm and blue and a little cloudy, and not at all evil and sticky and gross like the past few days.
I have a feeling, somewhere in me, that I can't put a finger on, but I know it's there. I hate that, not being able to identify what I feel.
I signed my major today. I am officially an English major going for a Bachelor of Science in Education, Secondary Certification degree...thing. I'm going to sign my minor in a few days, I think. I need to get this stuff done, especially since the new bill came out for Higher Education that has some stuff in it about tuition assistance for to-be teachers. I need that! ME! Right here!!
I feel _____ .
What is that blank? I feel....straight line? I feel, underscore? I feel.....blank? White? Spacey? Wiped out?
No. Not really. Sometimes I hate that I only have seventyish years on this planet, and I've already used up about one third of them. What have I done in my one third of a life time? Prepared for the second third, I guess. Is that a waste? I'm not sure. What if the second third ends up being about preparing for the third third...and what if the third third is preparing for death...then am I just living my whole life to die? Always preparing for a moment that will never come. What am I trying to achieve? What is the goal? Yes, to have a job, a car, a house, a family maybe....but...why? To have a stable life for the future? What future? I'm afraid that I will have lived my life constantly trying to over achieve in a world that doesn't notice me.
I have poured my emotions into this text box so many times...
just an observation.
I don't understand how I function. I don't believe that there is an afterlife in the Christian sense of the word. I don't believe in a heaven or a hell...maybe a little waiting room with Cosmo and National Geographic magazines from 1988.
What keeps me from being totally depressed about living a whole life, and then just dying, like i was never here in the first place? How do i not be upset when I waste days doing things that I hate, because I know that I will never get those days back?
I know what the meaning of life is: ______________ .
I am feeling rushed.
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m&ms487
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2007 5 October :: 12.24am
I have a communication theory exam tomorrow morning that I'm not prepared for. I have a speech to give on monday that I'm not prepared for. I need to start doing some preparation!
Oh man.
So...I got the brother of the month award, which is pretty awesome, but not so awesome because it doesn't mean anything to anybody but me.
whatever.
I need to go study: relational dialectics! proxemics! symbolic interactionism! oh the horror...
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2007 3 October :: 1.54pm
"Everything will exist, move, separate in a river of change which in that instant will dissolve it, age, and corrupt everything without a single voice to sound the alarm...The sun is burning itself alive, iron is crumbling into dust, aimless energy is dissipating in space, masses are wearing out in radiation, the earth is cooling into death...And you will wait for a mulatto and an animal, to cross the mountain and begin to live, to fill time, execute the steps and gestures of a macabre game in which life will advance as life dies; a dance of madness in which time will devour time and no one alive can halt, the irreversible course of death...The boy, the earth, the universe: in those three, someday there will be no light, no heat, no life...There will be only total, forgotten oneness, nameless, without a man to give it a name: space and time, matter and energy all fused into one....And all things will have the same name...None"
From The Death of Artemio Cruz
by Carlos Fuentes
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