Faith Isn't Faith Until It's All You're Holding On To.

:: 2006 6 June :: 10.45am

So this is how it rolls: List ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people. Do not state who these people are. Do not confirm or deny any 'comment speculation'.

1. You make him SO happy, You'll like what he gives you.
2. I want to do it again.
3. I hope to god it will all work out.
4. Thank you for your insight.
5. I want you to always be here, but I doubt you will be. I will miss you more than anything in the world.
6. You don't know you're gay.
7. I think it's cute that you don't know what you're doing.
8. Your ackwardness is what makes you wanted.
9. You need to get over yourself.
10. I love you, pips.

:: 2006 6 June :: 10.34am
:: Mood: confused

So my life's focus is working now. You don't know how much that sucks.

I don't want to waste my life, but it's so tempting.

I'm reading Girl Interrupted. I started about an hour and a half ago when I woke up and I'm almost done with it. It reminds me so much of so many things I thought I was the only one who thought them.

I have trouble with that, putting what I think into words. I just can't describe some of the thoughts that go through my head. They are so painfully abstract.

I'm not quite sure exactly what is going on anymore, but I guess I never really quite did in the first place. I'm on the painful edge of being an adult, but still living at home with the same rules I had when I was twelve. I defineately do not do the same things I did when I was twelve.

I'm ready to go, but I'm obligated to stay. This debate will last a lifetime.

:: 2006 5 June :: 12.11am

Weekend
Friday I went to Luke's house and then I went to Veronica's open house and then I went back to Luke's.
Saturday I went to Elyse's house and then we went to Annalise's and Stacy's open houses. This old guy at Stacy's was trying to hook up with my mom, until I told him she was married. Hmm. Later on we went to the Kenny Chesney/Dierks Bentley/Carrie Underwood concert. It was pretty awesome. It's always fun being surrounded by drunk people who are either stripping or hitting on you. There were limo's parked outside so Elyse and I went into one that was unlocked, but it turns out there was someone in there. I have no idea who it was.
Today I went out to breakfast with my sisters and then I went to Luke's for a while, went to the mall with Elyse, bought a pretty sweet Dior bracelet and got my new iPod since my old one had something wrong with the battery, and then I went back to Luke's and hung out with him and Ryan.

I'm pretty stoaked that it's Summer. Who wouldn't be?

Ashley<3

2 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2006 2 June :: 9.29pm

"I want what is yours, and I want what is mine"

It's like putting the kool aid into the pitcher and watching the water turn a lovely shade of translucent red.

It all dissolves into a homologous mixture, each part containing equal parts of the solution.

Except, it's never really that perfect. It's all very unequal upon closer inspection.

A closer inspection reveals what you may have never known as the fruity, sugary goodness flows down your throat.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 2 June :: 4.31pm

i was just reading some of my old entries. i should have seen this coming, and yet how naive i was to still be so happy.

6 Say what??<3 | Say what??

jayzulla

:: 2006 1 June :: 5.42am

Tall Guy leaves in under two months now. probley wont ever see him again. off to make video games, and live it up in oregon. lucky fuckin' bastard.

Well here it goes. I didnt really want to do this but meh.

Craig, you need to chill the fuck out. You make it sound like i cant drive. i can drive. iv drove myself to work. i just cant drive legally. thats all it is, which changes in aprox. a week and a half. Im not going to be an asshole to you, im not going to egg you on. I dont even know why your sooo pissed at me. i didnt horseshit to you. i looked at your woohu one day and you were ripping on both b and i. and i hadnt done shit to you. you and brenton were not on good terms, but i had nothing to do with that. seeing you add me to a bad friend list set me. you need to light a cig, and think right now, while you're reading this and ask yourself, "what got jay involved." was it that you and b were fighting? no, that doesnt make me angry, you and brenton and everyone else that isnt me has the right to hate anyone they want. i had nothing to do with what was going on. then you post about the both of (despite the fact that i had stayed out of everything, and remained unsided) of us being bad friends, and how we make you spend money when we want to hang out with you. i never wanted to hang out with because i wanted you to spend money on us. thats what faggots do. no one sees their friends to try and get the to spend money on them. i know this probley isnt going to do shit, or change anything but i dont give a fuck. it needed to be said.

2 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2006 31 May :: 3.49pm

You send me off,
With wishes of
Good Health and Good times.

Forget-me-nots line the road,
and i'm not suppose to
look back, but i do.

It's not your fault
But my very own
Don't look back and see me here.

I am stagnant,
in a pool
of my own blood and tears.

:: 2006 29 May :: 10.51pm

This weekend was pretty good.

Friday I went out to dinner with my dad, Stacy, Luke, Mandy, and Danielle. Afterwards we went to Cold Stone and then Luke came over. We sat on my roof and looked at the stars! It was pretty cute.
Saturday Luke came over and we also had a cook out with some of our family. My little cousins all came over. They are so cute. Later I went to Mikki's bonfire. We played this game with April and her boyfriend against me and Elyse. I don't know what it was called, but it was really fun. They lost both times haha. Afterwards Elyse spent the night.
Sunday we went up to Brower and up on the Muskegon River on my uncles boat. It was pretty awesome. There was so many people from school there and we got chased by this crazy lady on the sandbar. Good times.
Today I had to babysit Kamie's baby Kelsie. She's so cute! Afterwards I went to Lukes and that is pretty much my weekend.

I'm pretty excited because my dad is getting a boat now! We used to have a house boat and we would stay in it almost every night at the marina, but I don't think he wants that big of a boat anymore. I don't know. We'll see, but I'm pretty stoaked about that.

Four more days left of school. Yesss!!

Ashley----<3

7 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2006 21 May :: 7.06pm

This weekend was pretty fun. Friday I went over to Lukes and had dinner and I stayed the night. Saturday we woke up at like 5:30am and we had to leave for Three Rivers because that's where his AAU tournament was. They won all three games and they won against one of the best teams in Michigan so that was really exciting. He claims that I'm his good luck charm because if he's thinking about me then he'll do good and if I'm there then they win and since they haven't been winning at all these last few weekends and this was the first one I went to then I guess that is true haha. We went out to eat a lot since there was a huge gap in between games and then Saturday night I stayed the night at his house again and on Sunday he had more games so we went back, but this time we didn't have to wake up so early. They did really good this weekend and I'm really happy.

Our friends would all make fun of us and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way.

9 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2006 21 May :: 7.47am
:: Mood: apathetic

School is done.

Now I get to look forward to working. at meijer. at the service desk. for six an hour. bitches.

It was fun while it lasted, i guess.

Now i get to go to college, that's the scary part.

Mine and Rueben's two year anniversary was Friday. It seems like we've been together forever....
He got me flowers and last night we went out to eat and then we fell asleep together. I love falling asleep with him. It's the only time when I feel safe. I can curl up next to him and know he won't let anything hurt me. It's a wonderful feeling.

i miss band.

3 Say what??<3 | Say what??

lilschaub

:: 2006 20 May :: 1.15pm
:: Mood: tired

Its been a long time since I wrote in here. Yesterday was the best day of my life. So far anyway. It was the last day of high school, which I have been waiting for for the longest time and it was nate and I's one year and six months. I cant beleive we have been dating for a year and a half. Its been the best year and a half of my life!!! We went to the Oasis and out to dinner. I love the Oasis it is my new favorite place. Its just so relaxing. So if you havent been there i really suggest it. Next week I really have to start looking for a job uhhh. I hate working but If I am going to buy a car I have to be working. The real life!!!! I cant wait to go to college its going to be so new and excited!!! And its not in Cedar Springs so thats a bigger plus. Well for anyone who didnt get an invite to my open house you are welcome to come. Its June 10th just like everyone else from 2-6!!! NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!

3 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2006 18 May :: 10.32pm

Omg.

I can't believe Marissa died on The O.C.

That pretty much ruined the whole entire show.

She was my favorite person, ever.

*cries*

4 Say what??<3 | Say what??

brokenmentality

:: 2006 17 May :: 4.01am

open house

june 10th 2:00-5:00
my house.

be there.

2 Say what??<3 | Say what??