In this world, one never knows what to expect. So don't. Don't expect anything from this awful place. Take what comes to you, make it beautiful. We might have a plan: follow the rules, take the clean, straight path. But forget the plan! The plan means nothing. Must we imagine what could go wrong? Does a plan often change? It's better to chase a dream. The world fears this word, this wretched, ugly word, the concept that leads to heartbreak. Humans are blind, selfish creatures and will continue to be until the end; until the day we finish off our own kind. We're leaders and followers, all trying to build our monument so when we're soil in the earth we'll be acknowledged by a slate, a marble slab labeled with a name and date, a verse that sums up our existence; our last days; moments in a time that will effortlessly be forgotten by the future in which we will create, yet inevitably assist in destroying. Our fate was decided long ago by our cave-dwelling ancestors the most intelligent of our species claim we've derived. Life on this earth has always been self-centered: survival of the fittest--kill or be killed--a trait carried on since the beginning of time, when our first primal relatives evolved out of the strongest accidental mutation of green muck. Our thoughts are not our own, but an illusion of individuality taught to us by a parent, a grandparent, a great-grandparent. A traditional brainwash questioned by no one. Everyone in the world is a hypocrite. People have continued to grow more and more greedy, gloating over themselves and their self-proclaimed royalty, a hunger satisfied only by money and power. In our blindness, we praise worthless pretension, a vagrant who worships his fool's gold. We've been spreading false hope on ourselves, our youth, our future: follow the plan, you will all die happy. You will all create a legacy, make history. But the question is not Is history real... is it Important? We read about important men, recite dates, facts, we become parrots. Pets who imitate their masters in order to carry a piece of them to form their own identity. A forgery. But a name in a book won't make us smarter. Memorizing our past won't make our future. And Greatness is not measured by success. We want the credit we deserve, so we build ourselves up, make others fear us. All because we were taught to follow. Not to create, but Recreate. Unoriginality has become our world's biggest solidarity, and its been used to kill. They've showed us to hate what is not like us. They've showed us to blame others, to fight without cause. And no one has ever questioned the morals of a soldier--they just do what they're told. They've reasoned that its right to kill the killer. "An eye for an eye." Its whats written in the books; a set plan for the next generations. It'll never change. We've accepted the biggest fallacy. But what if we all broke free the plan? What if we were able to stall the impending doom of our human race a few million years? Would the world change? We have yet to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and when we do will we be ready? Or will we still be as selfish as we were created?
What started off as a story about my shortcomings ended up about ideals the world may never live up to. How this happened I'm not quite sure myself, but after reading through it I saw the irony. I may never live up to my parents' ideals, but I'm not about to follow anyone's plan. I'm not holding myself responsible for anyone else's actions, and I'm not blaming anyone for my own mistakes. Instead of being punished the way I am, I should be congratulated for learning from the mistakes I've made. Wars have been going on since Bible times. There were wars before the earth was created, and there will always be wars. Nation against nation, family member against family member, cat against dog. There will always be a struggle for power. It's the same mistakes made over and over. Even a rat learns to avoid traps. Maybe humans aren't so superior after all.

-l==> death to me