blacktears844
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2004 4 June :: 10.36am
:: Music: Avenged Sevenfold
Braid Pic
Well here's the picture of my hair in a zillion little braids for Marissa:
It's a tad blurry, but you can see the front little ones kind've okay. That was the best one I could take considering the lighting in my house at the moment. And yes, I doubt I'll get dreads because I really don't want to cut off all my hair after I had waited so long to grow it out. But I do want them. Maybe I'll get some fake ones. Mhm. I took the braids out yesterday, I was afraid they were going to start knotting if I didn't. Well I'm off school today, for the rest of the summer. I might go shopping. MALL RAT.
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silversoldier
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2004 4 June :: 6.17am
:: Mood: unassuming
:: Music: "Art Star" - Yeahyeahyeahs
interesting stuff...
As much as I should be updating on the last week of stuff that's gone on, I'd rather not. Instead, I'm going to write down the *relatively little amounts* of the dream I remember having last night.
First, I was in my room cleaning, as the only three things I do in there are clean, sleep, and listen to music. Well, I had my cd player on, and it had the most beautiful piano piece I've ever heard. I can't even remember what it sounded like now, but at the time it was very familiar... I loved it, and now I'm greatly annoyed that I didn't write it down or something... that's dreams for you.
Then, my sister was having some sort of party, so I was allowed to bring one guest (a very un-Spencer thing to do at parties). So, I brought TJ, of all people, and it seems some other friends showed up, anyhow. Now, I don't have anything against TJ, we just haven't hung out much this year. But he is EXTREMELY cute, and in the dream he and I were sitting on each other's laps the entire time... Cheesy? yes, but assumed love gets that way at times.
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blacktears844
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2004 3 June :: 3.40pm
Today was our last day of school. I got loads of pictures but I doubt that I'm going to transfer them to a CD. Haha my friend Mandy braided my WHOLE head today in tiny braids. It looks awesome, I wish it would stay that way. I might get dreads this summer. But I wouldn't want to cut off all my hair when I was tired of them. Ah well. Well I'm going over to Christina's for a bit today to get one roll of film developed. I'm getting the other one developed later because this roll is going to cost more considering I'm getting it done in the One-Hour-Photo deal.
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blacktears844
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2004 2 June :: 3.53pm
WHOOOOOA
I won the writing contest I was entered in at my school. ^_^ I was so surprised when they called my name. I was definetly not expecting it. Well my prize was $25 so I smell some shopping my near future. Mooha. We had a dance today too. And we got free pizza and drinks, y0. Mhm.
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blacktears844
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2004 1 June :: 5.13pm
:: Music: "Vermilion" - Slipknot
y0
I just took a SHITLOAD of pictures of all my friends at school. I might have it transfered into a CD thingy to where I can post all the pictures on here and stuff. I haven't smoked for TWO DAYS. *dances* Well....one and a half at least. I'm trying to quit it early on. Things are going somewhat better. T33n4ag3 4ng2t. ^_^ Mooha. Well I have to get all dressed up tomorrow because we have this fancy schmancy thing at school tomorrow.
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blacktears844
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2004 29 May :: 3.12pm
Arg
Ah I'm grounded for god knows how long. Starting tomorrow. I walked over to my friend's house yesterday and I was supposed to call my mom when I got there but I completely forgot because I had other things on my mind and she came over there and got all pissed and starting tomorrow I'm grounded. So, yeah, I probably won't be updating for a while.
Things haven't been going so well, really, I've even taken up smoking. *SHAME*
Hopefully they'll get better. See you all later.
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silversoldier
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2004 28 May :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: stable
:: Music: "Season Song"
negative space
So... at the drama awards last night... well, first off, I was inducted into the International Thespian Society (yay!)
Alisa broke up with Ben last night, which really brought the evening down for her. Yeah... she was not the easiest to deal with today either.
To the point of this, though, my dad gave some great closing words yesterday about nothing.
First, he explained the difficulties of teaching negative space to his art students so long ago. One cannot draw what is there without the recognition of what is not. Likewise, we cannot appreciate the great moments in life without the recognition of all the low points in between. We will live life looking back over the time to the last high point, and we realize that it is the time in between these high points that we truly go about living.
Well, this is a somewhat more complex theory of what I came up with earlier this year. Of course, I was relating it to afterlife... I'm still not sure what to expect as a heaven or a hell. For if heaven is to be the point of all high forever, then either eternity is but a moment, or we come to exist in nothing more but stagnancy, that there is no glory or pain. The good becomes normal, and we drift away into nothingness (consequently, the whole point of Buddhism). So, maybe we are supposed to become part of the stars, or part of the space between. And we will achieve full nirvana in the coming of whatever the end is for us. For an afterlife of pure joy, or of pure pain, becomes an afterlife of increasing less feeling, less existence, and eventually the negative space.
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DarkSwordDancer
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2004 28 May :: 11.13pm
Well....today....i enjoyed existing....and actually thought about things i do all the time.....walking,talking,seeing,hearing,laughing,thinking...and relised life would suck without all of that...yeah if you really think about it....if 1 thing went wrong...like the electric impulses out brain sends to our lungs and diaphram telling it to feel...didnt work...we would die....heh.....all these little things ,that we usually dont even think about, secure our existance...lol
yeah i dunno..life got interesting....really fast.
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blacktears844
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2004 26 May :: 3.54pm
:: Music: Duality - Slipknot
I push my fingers into my eyes
Today has been an odd day. It's felt like I've been on drugs the whole time and the whole day has just been a dream. Like it wasn't really me living it, it was just some big movie or something. Then during the last part of school I had the worst stomach cramps known to man. They weren't like oh-shit-I-got-my-period cramps they were like, Midol-cannot-even-try-to-cure-the-evil-Antichrist-pain. And it's not even that time of the month, nor is it near that time. They've gone away for the most part now, but I still feel a bit dizzy. Oh yeah, I was talking to my ex boyfriend yesterday on the net, and he was grilling me to see if I liked this certain boy and then he said, "You know I would get really mad if you dated anyone else." Then he avoided me all of today. I still want to be his friend, but I will never like him the way he wants me to. Arg. On a lighter note...or louder note, I bought the new Slipknot album last night. $9.95 at Wal-Mart, baby! It's not too bad. "Duality" has grown on me so much. I didn't even used to like Slipknot that much. Well I have to go to my dad's soon, and I really don't want to go because I'm not in that great of a mood, and whatever mood I'm in, HE'LL go into that mood to let me know "what it feels like" when I'm in that mood. He can be so childish.
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blacktears844
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2004 25 May :: 6.59pm
If there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.
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blacktears844
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2004 25 May :: 7.05pm
I <33 Marissa
I told you I'd make you one hun!
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Wub ya!
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blacktears844
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2004 24 May :: 4.17pm
Ooo my London After Midnight shirt came in the mail today. It's so perrrty. <33
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blacktears844
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2004 23 May :: 5.57pm
:: Music: The Dying Song - The Cruxshadows
=(
I just got back from my neighbor's funeral. It's strange---even though I didn't know him that well, I cried like a baby. =(
I will miss him though...he used to sing on his front porch all the time and he had such a great voice. I used to love listening to him.
I am about go out at 6:00 for my late birthday dinner with my mom and dad. This will be the first time they've done something together since...Christmas. I hope they don't tear each other's heads off.
I am going to dye my hair tonight too. Same color, only hopefully this time it will last.
I love you all.
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DarkSwordDancer
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2004 22 May :: 10.49pm
Yeah today got up...from a long night...had a weird dream....yeah...k then jessika called so i called her back cause it was BOUT 9:45 AND I HAD JUST WAKEN up.....oops...yeah and i was spossed to call her at like 9 or 9 :30...but yeah so we dropped off niki and picked up jessika.Went to the gym...we did 2 miles...weights and another mile after that....then went into the steam room for like 5 min...then the hot tub.Yeah showers then lunch with mommy.....so a bit later my moms like oh you didnt work out cause i didnt see you swet...yeah hello she saw me after i got out of the shower.....rar...she makes me angry...so i just ignored her for a bit......then she was all why are you soirratable....poh sorry for being offended mom...i just have to fight you guys for any credability i wilkl ever recieve from you. damn i was so pissed off.....yeah.
So i went for a walk.....yeah Justin is in trouble....fuck he blew niki and me off yesterday...thank you friend.
Um...i dunno..rar......dream was creepy....:
I was at the old house in turkey...and this chick wanted something important in the house...of some significant power i guess....but yeah i looked out the window and i was somewhere in afric....yeah so i find the item she was looking for and run away with it. There was a weird like celebration going on but mmk...An well i got locked in the bathroom...it had 2 doors and 2 ovens....so i locked the doors and turned on the ovens...then i somehow got out of there...and was flying away....using plastic bags streatched over my arms as wings with this one dude...and he rteached down to touch the top of this tree and got caught and fell to the ground...and i was looking at him...so i ran into a tree...and we are standing on the ground....theres a bunch of lionesses...and we were all wary...the these peeps show up and are like...."Oh so you are michelle" and the guy next to me turns into a grate dane...then i woke up.....
yeah......
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blacktears844
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2004 22 May :: 7.59pm
Well my friend Lisa just left after spending the night. Mhm. She tried to hook me up with her friend Preston but it just didn't...click. I think I am going to pick up my pictures from when Emily spent the night, but I won't be able to put them on here because I didn't get a digital disposable camera this time. Damn my not having a scanner. Oh yeah, and I also bought a new AFI shirt and some cherry earrings. I had never seen this paticular AFI shirt before, it has a picture of the boys in the Art of Drowning era, but yet the AFI logo is from the Sing The Sorrow era. It's awesome anyway.
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silversoldier
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2004 22 May :: 9.08am
:: Mood: just waking up
:: Music: "The Season Song" - 28 Days Later ST
The next year is ending soon
I'm such a dolt... I was going through my old journal entries again last night. One year ago yesterday, I was one really fucked up kid. I have thought for the longest time that things have been getting worse, but I just realized that this year may be the first year of recovery. There are a lot of changes that went on, a lot of bridges that were rebuilt, and a lot of buried skeletons. There's still a lot of changes that are yet to happen, but the time's aged things well thus far.
On to the semi-important items of the week...
In English for the entire week we have been reading "The Water Is Wide" by Pat Conroy. It's an autobiography about his time teaching on an isolated island of close to savage blacks. Mildly interesting.
In biology we have been working with chicks. My group's chick Butters was being taught to recognize green, which it did rather well. However, it also recognized males and hates males. Wonderful. That chick would peck at my hand until it was raw, if it got the chance. It's been fun watching Jarred work with his chick Jesús. It was supposed to come to the sound of a bell. Instead, it went cross-classroom to the chicken cages most of the time. But, of course, I was watching Jarred a lot more than his chick :P.
We had two tests in Algebra this week; one over quadratic equations and functions, and the other being the district assessment test. Then, we started on our small trig. unit. Lunch has been uneventful. I don't remember if I told y'all that we got our long lunches back. Well, it would be nice if we weren't required to stay in the cafeteria to eat at school... that leads to a lot of free time on my part.
We've covered many subjects in history. The five major religions (plus Confucianism) of the world, the problems with Israel, and modern terrorism. I don't think Cislo's even worried about what's on the final right now...
Band has left much to be desired. The group is playing horribly (bad, because we have a concert next week), and I'm not even doing well (bad, because I'm lead for our section). Dacia and I are extremely happy that we get into Symphonic next year (which reminds me, there's a really interesting story about that later).
Spanish... let's see, we've conjugated about twenty verbs, learned some foods, and done a general review for the year. Well, its been more Sra. Holland that's been doing everything, as we're not too interested in having any more work for the end of the year.
P.E.: running, softball, wiffle ball, mat ball, all that stuff. I can't say I'm enjoying the class anymore, mainly because rules have become superficial.
In health, we've been working on the first aid unit. Not the most exciting, I feel, because I've done this a good five times already.
Beyond school, things have been extremely eventful.
First off, I've been to many musical events recently. I showed up at the BoB, though there wasn't much to listen to. I went to our choir's production of "Elijah," which was slightly of interest. Then the Symphonic Band, Chamber Orchestra, etc. concert on Monday, the choir concert on Tuesday, and my piano recital on Thursday (which I might say was one of my better times). Since we're on the subject of music, I think I'll throw this anecdote in now. Mr. Kellogg called me in after school Thurday about Symphonic. I already have a slot in for trumpet, but he asked me if I would switch to trombone. Apparently, Conrad (the best trombonist, other than the seniors) is not doing Symphonic next year because he wants to take honors English and German 5-6. This coincides with the Symphonic timeslot, so he'll end up in Rustler band. So, Kellogg needs someone who can switch to trombone quickly over the summer (apparently, the existing trombonists are not well-to-do), and he picked me.
Great great great news!!!! I was told that I accumulated enough points to make Thespian this year!!!
That's about it for now.
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blacktears844
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2004 20 May :: 4.01pm
:: Music: Bagdad Jones
I haven't updated with a real entry in a while. Well that whole liking the same boy thing is resolved. Apparently she doesn't like him anymore. He said he didn't like her, so she got over him pretty quick. MORE FOR ME. God I am a selfish bitch. =(
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blacktears844
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2004 19 May :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: The Cure foo
Just Like Heaven - The Cure
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it and I promise you
I promise that I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?"
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream...
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone
Alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven
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blacktears844
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2004 16 May :: 3.50pm
Well Emily just left. She came over to my dad's last night, and then came over here to my house when my mom came to pick me up. I'm bored as hell.
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DarkSwordDancer
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2004 13 May :: 10.41pm
Wow...huh..im tired right now and the like but i need to say some stuff.....like screw the world...and Brian got extreamly hot over the past year i mean really!...oooh
Yeah had a teen leaders meeting and Bryan in one of them and he is sooo hot.Yes we had some major flirting going on...Savana was like "Geez michelle since when do you flirt with anyopne!" yeah...i must confess since last year ive become alot more....uh....flirtish and open...i mean REALLY! But ooooh he is so....mmmmmmm....yeah go figure another crush!
Yeah my parents dont know if im allowed to go to the B.O.B cause i have no ride home and um jess and roxy you cant stay the night....im really sorry.yeah im barely going if i even go...
No movie party over here...not for a while im too busiy.....yeah
Yo Yo ma tomarrow!!!!!Yay...hee
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blacktears844
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2004 12 May :: 3.05pm
Arg. One of my friends like the guy I like. I've liked him basically all year, and he's flirted with me and all, but I don't know if he was just flirting to be flirting or if he really liked me. I've been waiting all year for him to make the first move or whatever, but now since it's nearing the end of the year, I'm afraid that won't happen. I'm too shy. Anyways, today my friend Lisa wrote me a note saying that she liked him, and that she would like me to bring it up in a conversation to see if he liked her too. But he's really starting to warm up to me, I mean, really.. but I don't want to lose Lisa as a friend. Ah she has a boyfriend and everything, but she said that she'll dump him if he says he likes her too. I don't know what to do. This is all so confusing.
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blacktears844
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2004 11 May :: 10.41pm
The LOVE entry
Here is to all the people on my Woohu...past and present that I LOVE.
Marissa (loserxdork): My loverly friend! She is hot and great 2 Da maX y0 Love ya! <333
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Megan (vampuricgothkitten666): I love my Megan too! Gorgeous and has some kickass hair! <333
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Rachel (Angel_Bob): You are great! We may not talk much, but I consider you one of my best friends on here. Love you. <333
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Dustin (Darthavok): We don't talk that much anymore because my MSN kinda fucked up, but I miss you! I don't even think you use Woohu anymore. :( Still wub ya. <333
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Daniel (thewizard): I KNOW you don't use Woohu anymore, but I had to have a little section dedicated to you. *mwah* We don't talk that much anymore either. You need to get on AIM more! Love ya. <333
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Sean: You've been one of the best friends on here since the forums. I miss those days. =( I hope to talk to you soon, I never see you on AIM either. <333
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Kerri (punkedoutspork): Kerri my love! I haven't talked to you in so long. I hope you're doing okay. I miss you too. I miss all my forum buddies. Love you. <333
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metalhead: I see you on my LJ now. <333
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xdreamingxrealityx: Haven't seen you update your journal in a bit. =( I miss you as well. <333
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More Shoutouts to People Who Don't Use Woohu Anymore:
Hallucinogene (Kate)
InStaticPallor (Lindsey)
Kaori (Alexa)
Irbaboon813 (Stefy)
I love you all too and miss you.
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Betcha all think my hands would get tired after all those <333's, didn't ya? ^_^
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blacktears844
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2004 11 May :: 7.12pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: TV
Wowzers
Ooo I'm ordering another shirt.^_^
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I luff it. My My Ruin shirt hasn't come yet. Ah well.
I went to get two teeth filled today. Bleh. The one on the right side of my mouth didn't hurt, but the one on my left really hurt. They dug WAY down in my tooth with that Satanic drill. *shudders*
See you all later.
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blacktears844
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2004 9 May :: 10.56pm
:: Music: "In the Shadows" - The Rasmus
UHOO UHO
I just got back from King's Island (an amusement park in case you don't know.) It was pretty fun, I rode Son of Beast, Vortex and Tomb Raider. We went there a bit late, so we only got to ride three rides. I got a Ramones shirt there, oddly, hehe. I'm as hungry as a pregnant woman so I'm about to go eat the fuck out of some popcorn chicken. Bye.
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blacktears844
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2004 9 May :: 1.18am
Back from the mall
Purchases:
I think this is so cute.
This is adorable as well, but the picture makes it look bad.
Wanted: Gorgeous, but it didn't look good on me.
I'm a mall rat. <_<
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