Thank you for destroying me.

 

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Love me or leave me

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:: 2005 18 July :: 10.28 pm
:: Music: the good that won't come out of me

lyrics
sometimes i'd like to embarass myself by getting drunk and falling down in the street.... you said i chose sadness, that it never once has chosen me( maybe you're right)

Open your eyes


:: 2005 17 July :: 9.10 pm

i am having second thoughts. i feel as though i led him to believe something and now i am backing out. I do still like him, but jess was right, alot of it was just sex. i need someone new. just for a chance to see what else there is, and if i really do want to be with him.

after the whole moving in idea, i kinda flipped out... now we are not on such good terms. i think it will all cool down, but i wish i could see him. aww, he might really want to be with me... it is a scary thought that anyone really would. hmmm... that is something to ponder.

then again if we stay together, what is to stop him from getting trashed again and then asking me to marry him or something else crazy. i'm not sure this is a good situation, but i am sure it will all pan out. i just hope i don't get anymore phone calls that he "can't remember"

4 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 15 July :: 8.48 pm

so this is the cunundrum(sp?) anyways. Mike will be home (in Omaha) the week after next. we both want to be together, but i have no way to get to omaha. if he would pay for my ticket.... should i go?? i mean naturally he would get his, but i feel like a leech if i do it.

what to do....

5 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 15 July :: 2.34 pm

fuck i'm scared. why does this have to happen now. i hate being poor and working at a dead end job. i hate that my parents won't help with anything and i hate that i think mike wants me to go see him now, when i have no way to pay for a damn thing...

Open your eyes


:: 2005 14 July :: 1.25 pm

the things i will do for that boy... 3000 and some miles away. I feel like walking sex....

Open your eyes


:: 2005 13 July :: 12.15 am

baby, you're killing me. it's an emotional suicide to be with you, or rather without you. i want it all gone. give me some eternal sunshine.

Open your eyes


:: 2005 11 July :: 3.52 pm

Kissing someone for one minute burns 26 calories, HAViNG NiCE SEX BURNS 358 CALORieS... Repost this in the next 15 minutes & your crush will give you something special tomorrow.
NO JOKE. IF YOU BREAK THIS YOU WILL HAVE THE WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE TOMORROW

2 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 11 July :: 2.27 pm

so then, i am looking for a third job. it's pathetic, i know but i have no money and i am never busy anyways. that's all.

Open your eyes


:: 2005 10 July :: 4.33 pm

does anyone want to hang out??

1 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 10 July :: 3.47 pm

so according to crystal, all i ever want to do is party, oh and she doesn't have time for my 'problems'. That's kind of funny seeing as i am always supposed to drop my world when she calls and asks for soemthing and she is the one who is always out partying. hmmm, i think i smell a hypocrit.

3 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 9 July :: 8.05 pm

so this is my apology for messing up your journal and making it like a mile wide, but i can't help but laugh because we arent even kissing and that is how it looks. lol

3 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 9 July :: 8.03 pm

just to gross you all out
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

7 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 7 July :: 11.00 pm

my new icon makes me happy. and so do all the other photos of us. they make me giddy as fuck

4 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 5 July :: 10.53 pm
:: Mood: smitten

so here i am bubbling with excitement because i finally talked to mike. and it is all good, but i won't see him untill christmas. i think that will be okay though, everything is wearing off but i will still miss him. i'll post a pic of us as my icon in a few days.

i just wish i could tell him how i feel.

1 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 5 July :: 4.09 pm
:: Music: THe Dresden Dolls- Half Jack

in full circle
you would never guess who i saw today.
it's all so strange, seeing people who you used to know and hearing about people that you used to be friends with.
i am excited about all of it.

I think that skyler likes me alot but i am not entirely excited about the prospect. You see he isn't any of the things that i like in a guy. He isn't very talkative and he doesn't like video games, he isn't spontaneous and he is just kinda bland. Anyways, i am back into the video games, i want to skateboard again, and i just want to be one of the guys. Not totally one of the guys, but i want it to be the way that it was when i hung out with the guys. I miss it. I am excited, everything is coming in full circle.

Open your eyes

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